/heem/: stipe edition

UPCOMING EVENTS (May):
5/26: EFN 48: Moscow
5/27: ONE FC: Kingdom of Champions (Amnuaysirichoke vs Naito)
5/29: UFC FN 88 (Almeida vs Garbrandt)

UPCOMING EVENTS (June):
6/4: UFC 199 (Bisping vs Rockhold 2)
6/10: Titan FC 39 (Cavalcante vs Healy)
6/12: Pancrase 278 (Sunabe vs Haita)
6/17: ONE FC (TBA)
6/17: Bellator 156 (Galvao vs Dantas)
6/17: EFN Global (Fedor vs Maldonaldo)
6/18: UFC FN 89 (MacDonald vs Thompson)
6/24: Bellator 157 (Jackson vs Ishii)
6/25: GLORY 31 (Vakhitov vs Bouzidi)

UPCOMING EVENTS (July):
7/1: ONE FC (TBA)
7/7: UFC FN 90 (Dos Anjos vs Alvarez)
7/8: UFC TUF 23 Finale (Jedrzejczyk vs Gadelha)
7/9: UFC 200 (DC vs Jones 2)
7/10: UFC Hall of Fame Inductions
7/13: UFC FN 91 (Ferguson vs Chiesa)
7/16: Bellator 158 (Kimbo vs Thompson)
7/23: UFC on Fox 20 (Holm vs Shevchenko)
7/30: UFC 201 (Lawler vs Woodley)

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SCHAUB
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Ngannou Ngannou Ngannou Ngannou

Brendan Schaub was by far the most technically skilled HW of his generation as well as having tons of charisma. Its a damn shame that he never was the champ.

AND NEW

>Look user, I found a ladybug

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just measured my reach, 76 inches exactly; im 74 inches tall so it's pretty proportional

I was scared of measuring it and finding out I'm another artem

:3

why is she so cute?

fill this thread up you goofs 6 posts left

because she's mixed race

Honestly wouldn't be terribly surprising if he manages to catch DJ in a scramble over the course of five rounds. DJ obviously should be the huge favorite, but unlike his experience with past opponents, DJ won't have an advantage in every area the fight could go. Even if it will be hard to set up the circumstances, Reis has a legitimate path to victory. He will have an advantage if the fight is on the ground. Reis is also one of the main training partners of Cruz so I don't think Mighty mouses movement will be completely foreign to him.

what races?

Damn those gums are fucked.

brazilian and american

Every

>

Reminder to make sure you're training for FUNCTIONAL strength.

my shoulders hurt just looking at this image

>my gym has and my coach makes me use them
You feel like a huge god lifting small planets

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why are they transparent

if your shoulders hurt then whatever the fuck youre doing is retarded. or you are.

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good post

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the look in his eye, you just KNOW they banged
conor mcgregor is known to be THE most hung guy in the UFC, possibly one of the biggest in MMA. his cock has been described as "like an evian bottle", with gargantual thickness that would rival luke rockhold and jon jones. im estimating his size to be at least 8.5" bone pressed, with OVER 7" of girth. he would have absolutely destroyed rafael's asshole.
they would have spent hours and hours on foreplay, getting him stretched enough just so he could take it. i can just imagine him begging for it, with conor barely able to force it past the knob, and rafael moaning and squirming, demanding him to force it in deeper. he would have orgasm'd within seconds of taking the entire length, being filled and stretched right up to his large intestine.. the orgasm would have been powerful, with his anal muscles clamping down on conors throbbing monstrosity, his whole body quivering in euphoria..
i bet he still masturbates to the memory of it

Weirdo

joerogankettlebell.webm

Both me btw

epic samefag combo

I saw Conor McGregor at a grocery store in Dublin yesterday. I kissed him on the toes and told him how powerful it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him if I could spitshine his belt or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “HAVE I BEEN WRONG YET? HAVE I BEEN WRONG YET?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my potatoes up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen packages of steak in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the steaks and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each steak and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by saying "GRASSFED. MASSAGED. BEEF. ALL DAY LONG." really loudly.

Will Ronda get boo'd upon her return to the octagon?

She'll get the loudest roar of approval of her entire Mixed Martial Arts career.

Starts in 90 bings: youtu.be/Ac7Xw8imN4E

The MMA Hour is back in your life. Below is a rundown of Monday's show:

1 p.m. ET -- Michael Bisping will talk about fighting Luke Rockhold on short notice at UFC 199 for the middleweight title.

1:25 p.m. -- Tyron Woodley will talk about fighting Robbie Lawler at UFC 201 for the welterweight title.

1:45 p.m. -- Michael Chiesa will preview his UFN South Dakota main event fight against Tony Ferguson.

2:05 p.m. -- Cody Garbrandt will look ahead to his UFN Las Vegas main event fight this Sunday against Thomas Almeida.

2:25 p.m. -- Robert Whiteford will talk about getting released from the UFC and what's next for him.

2:45 p.m. -- Chael Sonnen will discuss his new grappling event and much more.

3:05 p.m. -- We'll answer your #themmahour questions on anything and everything going on in the MMA world. Hit us up on Twitter using that hash tag or leave a question in the comments section below.

3:50 p.m. -- Norway's Emil Meek will talk about finishing Rousimar Palhares at Venator FC 3.

4:05 p.m. -- Wilson Reis will preview his UFC 201 flyweight title fight against champion Demetrious Johnson

shit card desu

nice "hour" you got there jew

>Wilson Reis will preview his UFC 201 flyweight title fight against champion Demetrious Johnson
This guy is literally on a one fight win streak, Mighty Mouse really cleared is division.

Does he actually have a chance or people just memeing like Henry say-who-tho?

How can Mighty Mouse be considered the P4P best when he lost to Cruz?

>le numbers man face

Imo

And Cruz lost to Faber, so that means according to MMAth...

Yet Cruz bet Faber after the fact.

So youre admitting that its only stupid if you do stupid shit, thanks brazika baby

hnnnnnngg

np

mm is not a particularly big flyweight
cruz was just too big for him at bw and ragdolled him

p4p is about who is the most skilled, ignoring the size

But Cruz got choked to death in their simulated death match

Lads, I want to start training mma. I'm 20 years old and did about a year and a half of bjj when I was younger. Only problem is that I work and go to school full time so am not sure how I would find time to train. What do I do?

Then why are women included on the p4p rankings?

Checkm8 atheists

>I enjoy Mighty Manlet

lel

You quit school and start training full time. You only get to pick one road in life. If you try to straddle between two, you'll end up with a torn groin very quickly.

Reminder that Mighty Mouse would get BTFO by every male champion in the UFC

When they fight again, will he die?

>Implying I want to become a professional MMA fighter

I just want to do it to learn martial arts and maybe do local events every once in a while to test myself

>I don't enjoy Mighty Mouse

Then train when you can make the time like you would with any other hobby ya goof. If you act efficiently in everything you do, you will find that there is a lot of time in the day.

Faber will win by strangling Cruz

im kinda on the same boat, I want to start boxing and bjj classes but I have no idea when am I going to lift weights if I start these classes

>he actually thinks this
make sure to put plenty of money on the underdog, you'll make a big profit

because most of the people who do the rankings are zuffa shills, and their opinions are usually worthless

she won't return, she's still crying 5 years after she was beaten

>p4p is about who is the most skilled, ignoring the size
It makes no sense because your body will put limits on what you can do. Just appreciate what fighters can do at their own weight classes.

Weight lifting will just give you slow muscles that will make you bloated and weak. You should start some movement training and do kettle bells.

I agree, p4p is pretty much comic book matchup autism tier

this, start doing movement training and kettlebell swings if you want to get mobile and swole

pic related is me afer 2 years of movement, I can do cartwheels on the spot now

>That murderous eye scan
Conor was lucky to end up with Diaz. RDA would have slaugther him

>implying RDA could take that left hand

kek

no he wouldve slaughtered rda and then beat lawler at ufc 200, but rda pussied out and conor had to prepare for a completely different opponent on 10 days notice

Just came into this thread to tell you guys you're actually just retarded.

Why are all you goofs shitposting so much this thread

post body

An opponent who was not only on a short notice but was in no camp and probably smoked blunts on his boat prior to the call

USADA'D WHEN?

its not like that diaz faggot trains anyway so it doesnt matter for him to be on short notice he is just a cheating lanklet with 10 losses

Is Jones more likely to lose a fight before mighty mouse does or is it vice versa? I don't think anyone in the division can finish mighty mouse so he would only be susceptible to decisions, but Jones has also never been finished

Friendly reminder that everyone itt could heem me.

Masvidal or Larkin?

I think you'd be surprised

I think there are several goofs itt who couldn't fuck you up

Larkin

I'll live and die a Masvidal fan!

I think Jones is, they're literally feeding a TUF winner to MM

Jones has got DC to deal with which I honestly think he could lose, and after that, Rumble and potentially Gus again

When your grandchildren ask you about what it was like to watch the reign of the most dominant combat sports athlete ever, what will you say?

won't live that long, but I legit had a story about Ronda before Holms.

>most dominant combat sports athlete ever
>I legit had a story about Ronda
Bangbro.....

He was too small for bantamweight and basically had a weight class made for him

youtu.be/_I-LOhvQmjc

I started watching ufc from 183 and I bought the meme hard. no shame into admitting your mistakes.

Conor tapped for our sins

I was too young to witness Mike Tyson.

probably smells like a penguin desu

>I rate Mike "The Can Opener" Tyson

Cocaine is a helluva a drug

...

I can say I bought one of the first batch of Mighty Mouse shirts ever

that's pretty cool

>Bisping vs Rockhold 2

You mean Rockhold vs. Bisping 2

Rockhold is the champion so he gets top billing

Who do you think is the most dominant boxer ever, le meme footwork man?
I agree Tyson is a can crusher desu

That he also did coke, cheated on his wife and drove like a maniac