You wake up in your cunt in 1700

You wake up in your cunt in 1700.

Wat do?

get scalped by natives

Go to the local church and get fucked by friars

>have 12 kids with wife
>chop wood
>trade tobacco with redskins
>serve in colonial militia
>get shot by French
>die

My country doesn't exist yet and my ancestors are in Scotland now.

Rape spree on qt brazilian natives.

Speak Swedish and laugh at the Fingols

Get forcibly drafted into the army and forced to die to protect some lousy king's honour.

Walk 30 miles to Jamestown from my house and pray to God no Indians get me.

Stole gold and ruin our economy and population by eternal foreigners wars

Live a shitty life on some farm then this

>freeze to death invading Russia
Neither the first nor the last time this happens.

Move to Vienna.

Well, what else are you gonna do after you had to give your wife and children to the local bey as tribute?

fap in the forest

then we're being ruled by the benevolent bush mechanics

>implying i'd have them in the first place

Make sure the once great empire doesn't crumble even more. The next 150 years isn't the best to be a patriot...

Likely die stillborn in Europe

form a hajduk cheta and rob and kill turks and sometimes other bulgarians in the mountains

>get caught by cockroach police
>get hanged
>die

remove cheesehead

>Rape slaves
>Hunt wales
>Cool hats

Pretty alright with this desu

>obtain saltpeter from saltpeter mound
>trade for sulfur from SEA land
>grind wood into charcoal
>obtain gunpowder

>go to blacksmith
>request lots of small shells
>request lots of lead spheres
>request barrels

>obtain superior gun
>visit the t*rkish empire
>start a civil uprising
>supply guns to civilians
>kill monarchy
>make new government
>race mix with whites
>make spanish babies

wrong
there were many towns which were run by hayduks and ottomans didn't go there

Matarme

spoken like a rapefugee..will u be getting syrianed?

Takes many pairs of hands to work a farm before modern tools. :^)

Try to befriend the indians. Since I'm on the west coast hopefully they don't know about the evil white men and they won't be hostile

if i didn't get eaten by the bush maoris so they could gain my mana, i would join them and use my technology skills to defeat the other maoris, cannibalise them, and become king of the island. maybe i could get a qt wife since they couldnt get fat yet

why are they so fat today

If I'm still in the Midwest, probably die of some shit.

were there any indians in the midwest

There were indians across the entire continent. Some of them were nice, some were violent savages.

We trail'd em all the same.

Fast food is cheap and everywhere.
Junk food like pies are cheaper than healthy food - and require less effort.
Just lack of education regarding nutrition in general.
It's more of a socioeconomic thing as opposed to "cultural" or something.
Although, Islanders are fatter.

Blame the pope
Hate the german

In the same exact location as now? Freeze to death or get eaten by wolves or bears. The area I live in was uninhabited until the 20th century.

The West Coast wouldn't be settled until the second half of the century when the Spanish built a bunch of missions in California.

Or if it's just Russia in general, you would farm and send yet another son off to die in the army.

Convince the locals I'm a spirit and then kill them all with my future viruses

Lots of murder.

fap in the desert

Fuckin kek'd

Holy fuck I never get dubs! Thank you lord kek

Fuck oath you'd be freezing ya tits off

be holy and roman

Beat Captain Cook and call Australia Goon and New Zealand Winnie Blue

Mastrurbate

Probably kill myself.

Go back home to Açors

Everyone at this point is still jews , Flemish and Galician.

I guess I'll just go hang out Oporto

Move to Moscow and found a university.

Move to Florida and found a tobacco plantation.

Make mestizos with a spanish girl

Hop a boat to England

The religion of Boston in that time period was insufferable.

MAKE NEW FRANCE GREAT AGAIN

>Carolus Rex
>lousy king

Become the abos God with my superior knowledge (actually I do know how to forage in some areas + track and generally survive). I'll start up agriculture and shape a tribe into a fast-breeding Empire. I'll dedicate my life to subjugating surrounding peoples under this empire and ensure that they're ready when the eurocucks try settling. I'll also have harem of the 17 only attractive abo women on the entire continent, I'll breed them heavily, spreading my seed and legacy for eternity. Perhaps they're kill some of my ancestors or something. This will in turn save modern australians for shitty abos. Making the abos the main modern australians and a powerful force in the world. I'll layout plans and assistance for the Empire, which my predecessors can use. Such as ensuring a dominate and strong economy. Perhaps plans to subjugate surrounding nations. Basically I'll give the ideals and civilisation in the proper way, not the cuckery british way.

please no, worst times ever.

ill also develop my own language, incorporating semantics of abo languages into a Lojban derivative, making them have the most logical and best language in the world. Also ensuring their rise in the world. This will remove shitty naturalised languages from dominance, ill also make rules and counters to the language becoming naturalised and shit.

>''''''''''Holy''''''''''''
>''''''''''Roman''''''''''
>''''''''''Empire''''''''''

Make sure King Louis XVI doesn't act like a total cuck so that he keeps his New France colonies, thus stopping the USA from existing and make North America almost entirely French.

Also. Travel to Istanbul, become a merchant.

Trade from Persia to Venezia, get rich and fuck cute Middle eastern girls.

Live the good live. Drinking, whoring...etc No point in building anything as everything will go to shit starting from 1800.

I would travel to Virginia

Hunt down and murder Mary Montague (the grandmother of George Washington) before she gives birth to his mother

Then ensure none of the other people in this thread have any other affect on history

Use my superior futureman knowledge to invent space and be the first person on the moon.

>implying man has been to the moon

Carolus Rex is grossly overrated because of his initial victories in the great nordic war. The man effectively ended the Swedish Empire by grinding its armies into dust on the continent. We've got about 1,000 years worth of kings and he was one of the most disastrous ones.

BE A PIRATE AND GET KILLED :D

Living in poverty and being invaded and ravaged by Turks and Persians every other year. Let the good times roll..

>invading Russia
How many have tried and failed.

Karl XII shouldn't even have let the war get that far. He pushed when he could have just defended our provinces and would have gotten out with the empire intact. But no, he failed to actually make use of his victory at Narva and let Peter I flee and reform his army.

Extremely overrated.

And finally died invading Norway. The end.

RIP Karl XII
RIP Swedish Empire

I'll either pretend I'm one of their Gods from the Dreaming, or the Abos will kill me instantly.

learn spanish, i guess

This is the brief interlude between The War of the Grand Alliance and the War of the Spanish Succession, which spill over into North America as King William's War and Queen Anne's War.

After the War of the Spanish Succession, France surrendered Newfoundland, Acadia, and their claims to the mouth of Hudson's Bay.

dress up like a Conquistador and speak in a Spanish accent to avoid getting killed

>all these Amerifats not realizing that Britain colonized the US in 1607

American education, everyone.

>Be a poor anatolian farmer
>Revolt againist Sultan
>Get massacered by Janissaries

>get conscripted into army
>kill some Bulgarian guy and rape his daughters

Join an expedition and grab some native girl by the pussy.

Around 1700 my family made boats and roofing so I would go to work and hope I didn't catch the plague ;-;

>Around 1700 my family made boats and
The rumors are swirling that the ruler of Muscovy, a mysterious land way off in the east you've never heard of, is coming to visit the Netherlands to learn about shipbuilding.

As far as I know, my ancestors in 1700 were peasants somewhere in Germany/Austria.

Kill the natives with smallpox and leave viking coins in Nova Scotia or someshit.

And they won't be in America for at least 150 years.

My ancestors were members of the XVII rulers of the Dutch East-Indian company on the one side and Wallons who produced textile on the other side. So, I don't know.

nice meme

You got it

noice

We're not at war at the moment, give it another two years.

>Wake up in 1700 palestine
>Use jew powers to rick a druze leader in Galilee into making me a honorary member of the community
>Get gifted 2 of his qt druze royalty daughters

Assassinate Electorate of Saxony ruling family