How do I play CB? I'm shit at passing, shooting, and everything else so all I can do is defend

How do I play CB? I'm shit at passing, shooting, and everything else so all I can do is defend

Are you fast? Try being a fullback.

Are you tall or ever played handegg/apehoop before? Try GK.

CB is easily the most physically demanding position. If you don't have the body for it, you're screwed.

Just tackle a lot and when you get the ball, hoof it to anywhere except your own goal.

Also, racially and physically abuse players, particularly the striker, as he's usually colored and really easy to anger

>be tall
>be ripped
>win headers
>learn how to offside trap
>when everything else fails, foul

How difficult can it be?

Also, if you can't pass, you better have a CB partner who can.

Sounds like this semen-slurping sport is not for you

Are you tall and strong? Thats really al you need desu.

Just stay back and defend, start by just man marking, you can also cut passing lanes and try to intercept the ball.

Be careful/wary when going for a tackle inside the box because of floppers.

I prefer playing as a cdm desu.

This is so correct
I used to be a huge cunt against forwards while playing right back, and 75% of the time I made them chimpout and get sent off. Do little fouls when necessary, insult whenever he misses something and a lot of physical impact and enjoy.

Passing is important as a CB since you do a lot of critical passes whenever they play with a lot of pressure. But if you don't want to play goalie, try to play libero (nobody use this today in modern football bit a lot of amateur club still do it).
A good libero, tackles, jump high and do less passes than the other CB

Any tips? I recently learned to not get too close to the guys with the fancy tricks

Pay attention to the foot your forward favours then shut down that foot so that he has to use his weak foot

be tall
be stronk
be a bully
con referees and keep telling them the striker is crying for no reason even though you kick him every chance you get

being tall helps. Making good passes is important. If you're playing pickup all you need to do is block shots and clear the ball desu baka.

not really, if you're just playing sunday park league socially, just hoof it out, no need to pass it out from the back

I don't get have that instinct when I get the ball, so I end up making a bad pass or losing the ball if I hold on to it. I just clear it

The best part of being CB is taking the ball from the forwardfag and humiliate him with a nutmeg before making a clearance or easy pass to midfield.

how kids get their positions:
>tall and idiotically brave = keeper
>pacey little shit = winger
>pacey beast = fullback
>massive legs = striker
>calm and smart = cm
>physical monster = cb

>pacey beast
That's a striker. Unless you believe the CF meme.

>massive legs
should've elaborated, legs for speed and striking not just being a fat shit

Are you me?
I pride myself and on nutmegging faggots

-be calm on the ball
-learn how to long/mid pass
-don't be scared. If a huge black guy runs at you while you're going to hoof the ball, try to think that he's not there
-don't throw yourself too much, contain as much as possible, as there's always a risk of fucking up
-when one on one against a guy, try to see which foot is his stronger and stay by that side (ie. a guy being left foot -> lean towards the left when you're infront of him)
-if you're the last defender and the opposite guy is too fast/strong/better than you risk the play breaking foul. You'll get yellow carded if it's not too hard (just don't aim for the legs) and you'll basically save a huge goal chance
-push the opposite guys, insult them, make fun of them when they fuck up something. reminder that it's just banter
-if you're running next to a guy use your hand to do small pushes. don't grab his shirt
-COMMUNICATE with the other defenders ffs
-think like the striker, anticipate and throw a tackle only if youre 100%sure

To add on this:

Either go into the opponent or fall back.

Most importantly cover the middle. It's better to let them go wide than go mid where they have a better position to shoot. By forcing them out wide they have a worse angle.

When there's a contra situation don't just charge into the opponent running, you need to fallback and keep covering the mid.

I aam italian and I played cb for a while.
you have to fucking kick the ball in every dangerous situation;
you have to stick to the opposite attacker in any way possible. never leave them alone;
you have to move together with your defence: always look left and right to see if tour teammates are going up or down.
don'to do offside trap, it's too dangerous;
always TRY NOT TO FALL. don't risk tackles when it's not absolutely necessary.

These blokes know what's up. The most important part of your job is to be an absolute cunt. Abuse opposition players, do lots of niggardly little fouls when the ref isn't watching, and never tackle the ball without tackling the man too. You could also take a leaf out of rugby player's book and go for a bit of homosexuality - the occasional tickle of the bollocks, the finger up the bumhole, the kiss on the cheek - although that depends on your personal philosophy. The aim of these things is to wind up the opposition so much that they get angry and forget how to play, and/or get scared of going into challenges with you. The only danger with this is that there are some players who thrive on this sort of competition and get more fired-up the more you annoy them, so make sure you suss them out beforehand.

Other than that, the most important thing is probably position. All of the defence should be in a line far enough up the pitch to keep the opposition pressed, but not so far that they can just play the ball over the top and run onto it easily. As CB you should always stay central unless there's absolutely no cover on the wings and someone is runnning through on goal. If your positional game is strong AND you're good at heading/intercepting, then you should never really have to do anything else.

Keep your line when you don't have the ball
When another fullback/ your cb partner has the ball you MUST give depth (stay behind him)
Move in accordance with your line
NEVER pass the ball in the direction of the goal (aim so that if your goalkeeper does something stupid the ball goes out)
always spread the ball on the flanks
When marking your back should be facing the goal post

Wrong
As soon as possible cleanly take him out to let him know that his tricks are bullshit and you're in charge
will ruin his confidence and in the best case scenario he'll get angry and get himself sent off

Keep L2 pressed almost always.

More like
>fat kid who can't play for shit but is somehow incredible in the goal
>every other kid wants to be striker or at least midfielder
>fastest good player is striker
>shit fast players are wingers
>tryhard player on the 10 who thinks he is ronaldinho
>2 guys who can actually play football and have a feel for the game play defensive midfield and basically do all the work
>massive reasonable guy agrees to play center defense for a season, but ends up being the captain and on that position for the rest of his life
>other poor fucks all take turns having to play back, often sucking intentionally to not be put there again
Ahh, to be young again

this is pretty much accurate

>tfw former midfielder that now plays CB because i'm too fat and lazy to get forward.

CB is pretty easy. Just pick one striker and chase him around the park all afternoon. When a ball drops and your under pressure, just kick it as hard as you can up the other end. Defending in the air is just as easy. 95% of the time, just jumping in front of the striker is enough to put him off a header. As long as you don't give him a free header your job is done.

>2 guys who can actually play football and have a feel for the game play defensive midfield and basically do all the work
>massive reasonable guy agrees to play center defense for a season, but ends up being the captain and on that position for the rest of his life
I went from one of these to the other the first year of high school, fml.
Ah well at least I still got played defensive midfielder as a second choice when the starter was out (which was rather often, with his glass knees).

enjoy your slowly increasing inevitable brain damage

>I'm shit at passing

Practice. Defenders who aren't comfortable on the ball are a massive hindrance.

>passing
If you don't play in a team that doesn't start it's attacks from the keeper, then you'll be fine. Don't go to the EPL though.

>shooting
Who cares? You're a defender, practice scoring headers instead.

>all I can do is defend
Which encapsules a lot of things: awareness of the movements of the opponent forwards, making interceptions, tackling, doing strategic fouls, etc. If you're good at all those things you can play CB comfortably or even play as a defensive midfielder (though you'll have to improve your passing).

>Played CM for 6 years until the age of 13
>Played U15 during the last 2 years
>moved to Queensland and play touch rugby on the wing
>only cunt there with half a chance of catching speedy abbos when I was at my peak
>hardly played sport since high school, now 25yo

I know I missed the chance of playing professionally but can I join my local club and still have heaps of fun?
I've been thinking of getting fit again for next year

>passing as a defender

Just fucking hoof it. Also aim for the ankle and calves when tackling

>If you don't play in a team that starts it's attacks from the keeper, then you'll be fine. Don't go to the EPL though*
fixd

cb here, this

Asserting your dominance is half the battle won. And practice your passing game, you should at least be able to deliver the ball to your midfield cleanly. No fancy tricks, no tricky long balls, just a simple pass.

defensive midfielder is the shit, but i was forced to play shitload of defense as well

always mark the last man and stand goal side of him, amateur teams filled with ball hoggers won't be utilising an offside trap properly anytime soon

when challenging someone with the ball, stand on your toes with your knees slightly bent. you'll have more mobility and acceleration

you need to be looking around you constantly during the game, not just to make sure any gaps are filled but also to shout at the cunt fullback to track back and do his job

its a bit boring 2bh. chase, tackle, short pass.

im 1.95m and 115kg. can i be a box to box midfielder?

No, your a goalkeeper.
Period.

if you are a nigger you can be a striker

any other race is condemned to goalkeeping

Nice semen slurping "sport" you have there

Ýou are either to fat or to bulky to play soccer

Start a running plan and play 5/6 a side for a while first. It's more physically demanding but your stamina and touch will improve much quicker than jumping into 11v11.

lmao, your even too fat fot a goalkeeper

Well depends on your taste I suppose. To me stopping bitches trying to get fancy was the most fun part of the game. Heckling them after their tricks fail to get them past you is delicious.
It also depends on your coach and team: We played very aggressively so we were expected to push forward and play the De Rossi kind of dm. I even got to shoot lots of free kicks because I was fairly accurate from long distance (tho I was fucking shit at shooting around barriers so I never got the kicks near the area).

learn positioning and timing
taunt forwards and whenever the ref is not looking kick them/pinch them/push them step on their feet
about stepping on the strikers' feet, don't forget to do it when defending corners

Gattuso style DM is the shit

striker for my uni here

this is what pisses me off in CBs
>being fast
>not falling for it when I try to drag you out of position
>being calm on the ball when I try to spook your shit up
>not committing to unnecessary tackles
>blocking my line of sight to the goal
>standing in the way when I start my run
>not fucking up the offside

If you do the above there's basically no way I can score against you. I score primarily when you fuck up or when I get a look in at the goal.

literally my style of defending

Playing like that destroys your lungs tho, it's a recipe to get your coach to sub you out at half time. Or perhaps it's just me having shit endurance.

yeah, I hate it because I'm actually not a great striker, I'm just an opportunistic twat

The only reason I play is because I stat pad against shit defenders where I usually score a hattrick or more. against any decent set of defenders I'm lucky if I get a touch.

When you build your stamina I guess you can have it more easy in the midfield.
I was always playing as a CB, with acceptable stamina, very good pace/positioning and with good plays when having the ball on my feet. I convinced the coach to start me as a DM in some matches and I couldn't do shit because of my lungs. You should be able to roam the pitch I guess.

>shit at passing, shooting, and everything

Then you're probably going to be a shit centre-half as well.

It's not an 'easy' position. Also, you better be good at reading the game and not being a fuckwit.

What sport is Canada good in besides ice hockey and moose hurling?

Can we all agree that there isn't an easy position in footbal [spoiler]except from goalkeeping[/spoiler]?

full back is pretty easy

their job is basically to run alongside the winger

Have you ever played against a proper goalie fampai?

The guy at my school went on to become professional, and he was practically unbeatable

goalkeeping is difficult because if you fuck up there's noone to bail you out
you make a mistake, you concede a goal and possibly lose the match for your whole team

>It's not an 'easy' position.
It is compared to being a real footballer like a striker or something.

fullbacks run more than anyone on the pitch

Fullback

t. player who got cucked playing FB in his last year playing footy

...

that's all they do though. no one even gives a shit if they fuck up.

Not even trying to be bait.

Who was the best footballer in your high school team. Who is the best footballer in your Sunday league team?

Is it the centre half? No it fucking isn't.

Fullbacks are basically CBs and wingers at the same time. It's likely the hardest position to play in because you need cetacean lungs, pace and technique out of your ass if you have to push forward. There's a reason everyone says FBs are the worst players on the field in every other game, they play a hideously hard position.

This is why brits suck at football.

Unless they're nowhere near the diagonal to their side of the pitch, and then get sat on their arse whilst trying to scramble pack into position, allowing a winger to run straight at the CBs at pace and shoot/pass buy a pen.

A decent fullback is important for closing down the cross and/or funneling LCIM either onto wrong side or down a blind alley with DM/CB closing

>hurr all the best non-british players in the world are defenders

Oh no wait, they're fucking attackers. Where all the best players play regardless of nationality.

This is objectively incorrect. I was the utility man for my team (i.e. equally shit everywhere) and I had a spell of games playing literally every outfield position at some point. CMs run far more than anyone else. Playing on the wing is also pretty knackering, but that's short explosive sprints, whereas with CM you're just running constantly. FBs run a fair amount, but not as much as anyone in midfield. CB and ST barely break a sweat.

>Who was the best footballer in your high school team?
The central midfielders easily in most teams, the GK or second striker more rarely. The wingers were also easily the worst on every team in my youth league, pointless fucking pacebabbies that lost the ball every time they tried to dribble past me.

I think I was pretty decent myself, although I mainly ended up playing as a DM/CM. Always sat deeper if the other DM/CM was shit. If I could rely on them to cover, I had a lot more fun tackling high up the pitch and getting my bloot on

>tfw you cuck the full back with a majestic swan dive over his leg
scored the penalty as well

fuck fullbacks

I think midfielders cover more distance overall, but fullbacks have the bigger work load (if they're good and covering all thirds of the pitch properly).

You mention short sprints from wingers, fullbacks are literally doubling that effort.

It's the position with the least responsibilities. All you have to do primarily is to run along with their winger and push them out to the sides. If they do get past you, the CB has to back you up

I guess it depends who the other winger/full-back is. When I played winger, the FB wasn't interested in getting forward much but also struggled defensively, so I was sprinting up and down the pitch all the time. When I played FB, the winger was usually ok at getting back, which meant I didn't have to cover as much ground myself. In a 4-4-2 I guess the workload should be pretty even. CM still runs more though.

Depends on the team really, our FBs were also expected to contribute to the midfield when in possession and push up to help the wingers when needed. They certainly couldn't just sit on the winger and do fucking nothing 90% of the game.

how do i become elite like messi lads?

Marry your high school love

Pay a visit to Dr.Fuentes

>They certainly couldn't just sit on the winger and do fucking nothing 90% of the game.

kek that was what I did, and I've played on a reasonably high level.

Keep the ball as close to underneath you when you dribble

sprite

>the dutch province of total football

This. When I used to play and the other team had a corner, I'd stick my finger up one of their player's ass to which they'd react. Easy red card every time.

hope you get your face caved in

To be fair, we were the worst team in our competition and had to defend 90% of the time. And if I even dared to cross the midline, my CB and coach would lose their minds

dribbling and touch has to be developed as you grow up imo

but this is what you should do:
1) be very quick shifting at your balance
2) move the ball in small increments
3) feint every time
4) have a good touch

>Not grabbing them by the balls

Step up your game, noob.

>tfw

My team have scored once in our last three games, and that was only because their keeper was miles off his line

Wouldn't mind if it wasn't for defending constantly being so fucking knackering

ever heard of a cup

>I'm shit at passing
then you're fucked

You can still learn. I was a pacebabby RB who only got in behind and crossed up until u15 when I got a new meme coach who made me play CB because nobody else was willing to play there. He was obsessed with Barcelona so he made us play 4-3-3 building from the back so I had to learn to pass eventually.

It was actually pretty fun, I was a manlet (5'9, so I was kinda shit when it came to headers) but my partner was 6'4 so he usually took care of hoofball while I would use my speed to clean everything up. Fuck I miss those days.

Too obvious desu. On corners since you're already pretty close marking them it's easier to just slip a finger in real quick.

Ronaldo?

Having to be some sort of great passer at CB is a meme, at least here in America. Trust me, I played College and have seen first-hand played against some of the absolute shit that get offers to play. The only thing coaches care about is if you're tall, fast, and strong.

At least one of them needs to be, otherwise you'll leak just as many goals from poor distribution as you will poor defending.

don't have pace or height (5'9) lad

just decent positioning and shooting/finishing

I was short, slow and weak at school and I played centreback very successfully (one of the best players in my school, during lunch games I would always be the one picked first ).

The trick was positioning and anticipation. If you have the proverbial football brain you can play anywhere. I always knew what the forward was going to do and was always in the right space to stop an attack. It was impossible to play through me one-on-one.

The other major thing is to be as dirty as possible. I kicked shins, raked ankles, grabbed bollocks and strikers universally loathed playing against me because I would just kick, kick, kick repeatedly. Take man and ball every single time.