OFFICIAL MLB GENERAL THREAD

#1 - Fuck Canada
#2 - "Ryan James Howard is an American professional baseball first baseman for the Philadelphia Phillies of Major League Baseball. Howard stands 6 feet 4 inches and weighs 240 pounds at 8% body fat. He bats and throws left-handed."

A's

there is nothing wrong with doing pilates. Just because Arrieta's stats doubled seemingly overnight and the cubs are suddenly relevant again doesnt mean that he's taking steroids

>Verlander back
>Fulmer AL ROTY contention
>Zimmermann still can't get flimm flammed
>Justin Upton waking up
>Kinsler/Maybin/Miggy/V-Mart/JD/Castellanos
>Based Ausmus

Royals

Hi Mariners

Will we stay good?

We will, just look at all the good karma going around in the Bay right now. Hopefully Pence gets his dick sucked by God and will come back in the next 2 months.

p-please go easy on us

Royals

> Reddick

>Ryan James Howard is an American professional baseball first baseman for the Philadelphia Phillies of Major League Baseball. Howard stands 6 feet 4 inches and weighs 240 pounds at 8% body fat. He bats and throws left-handed

>A fan at Citizens Bank Park threw a beer bottle from the stands at Philadelphia Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard on Saturday, and the team and police said Sunday that they are investigating the incident.

The fans have to break this terrible hitless streak and break out the car batteries

...

rude

Rangers will continue to be ignored

Rangers will continue to win.

Get fucked Mfags

>Howard stands 6 feet 4 inches and weighs 240 pounds at 8% body fat
>8% body fat

did I need to know this?

of course

Jake Arrieta is 8% steroids

now remember, his big black man dick is all muscle
most of his fat is probably in that thick butt of his and maybe some lovehandles
i wonder if he's ripped
its a shame he can't hit at all

Think my Ryan Howard gnomes are going to go up in price over the years?

Yeah that is a surprise to us Royals fans as well. Morales needs a kick in the pants like they gave Ventura last season. Send him down to Ohmha for a few days or more. Sure Ventura hadn't even left for Ohmha before being brought back due to injuries to other SP but he sure as shit performed and behaved a hell of a lot better after that.

/mlb/ should close down the Rays and Marlins and start clubs in Puerto Rico and Cuba. The asspain from Miami Cubans alone would be worth it.

Meant to quote
from the last thread.

>Post yfw Rangers-Cubs Worlds eries

It's because he got out of the league that punishes pitchers and doesn't even let them hit and was put on a team that allowed him to play his strengths.

Although the Cubs got royally umpballed today in the calls. Also Maddon getting thrown out was pure bullshit.

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>White Sox 1 game above .500

I'm gonna have to agree it was bullshit. He went around. That was a strikeout. Is that not a challengable play?

>tfw cusb will come one strike away from winning
>twice

Kek

>The Phillies are objectively better than the Astros
Wew lad

>pic related
Its about to be even worse for the Lastros

are my picks good?

>Memeiners
>Cusb
Pick none/10

>Rules of Baseball
>how to be cool on Sup Forums
>Gay porn
Wew lad. Took me a sec to notice

Only if by good you mean shit. Lindor is the best AL SS, Hosmer makes a damn good case for best AL 1B, until his quad contusion Perez was objectively the best catcher in the AL. There are more reasons why your choices are shit in the AL but those are the first few. IDGAF about the Ninny Leauge so go nuts there.

>>The Phillies are objectively better than the Astros

>Look at the tabs
>Not recognizing obvious bait
Plebs

I saw those after the fact. Points made still stand.

...

I don't know, the Astros have a better differential than the Phils.

Listen to me retard, and listen good.

The Braves are winning the World Series this year, and you can mark my fucking words on that so make sure you're listening.

The team just acquired, quite literally, the best FA back up infielder that's hit the market since I don't know when because I don't really give a fucking fuck. They bolstered their bullpen with indisputably the best closer in the fucking league (That's Aroldis Vizcaino by the way because I know you wouldn't fucking know who he is because you just started watching baseball last September you dumb fucking moronic shit). Add to the fact that a corps of young studs like Dansby Swanson, Ender Inciarte, and Shaun Newcomb or whatever the fuck his first name is, are going to TEAR UP the asshole of the NL East and the top two teams in Runs Scored last season (The New York Steroiders and some disgraceful latinos up in Canada).

Are you fucking listening? Because I'd hope you are. Because I'd hope you are prepared to get fucking SHELLED by the myriad of fucking offensive POWER HOUSES that this fucking team has. Oh? You don't know any of them? Haha silly me, I forgot that you started learning about baseball last December. Let me give you the run down real quick, so fucking listen up and pay attention retard.

Freddie Freeman was IN-FUCKING-DISPUTABLY the best fucking 1B in the NL, and possibly the League if not for that roider with the Diamondbacks, and his ability to absolutely anally fuck your team's shit up in the tough spots where an RBI is needed will take the league by fucking storm. Erick Aybar, Flowers, Beckham, The Fucking Mayor of Back up Catcher City? Roughly 300 RBIs combined, mark it down on your scorecard. And just wait for that fucking BSC to absolutely cuck the shit out of your batters in the OF.

Post that fucking dumbshit ass pasta one more time you disgraceful spic, and just fucking watch what happens in the Regular season. Retard, thanks for listening.

>dbacks
>AL

Pence is going to be back in a week after Lexi rides that sp00ky dick nonstop

Nah, its gonna be Rangers-Giants WS rematch
Screencap this

same desu
I think Glasnow and Taillon could be key for the Pie-rats too, they could sneak in
i'm a mets fan btw, we ain't winning shit this year

young hot latinas are fucking melting and wetting their panties over corey seager

>you will never be a young rookie mlb heartthrob with bitches on your dick

w h y e v e n l i v e

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The Pathetics

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What are Pilates?

>Car Batteries
Do tell.

I don't think you can challenge pitches since the strike zone is privy to whoever is umping behind the plate.

>12-2 since moving Springer to the leadoff spot

Daily reminder the city of chicago wanted a man killed because he caught a foul ball

Makes sense I guess. Still a poor call. The batter went around.

>Lindor best AL SS
>not Xander Bogaerts

You're objectively wrong.

>bustgarts

>Xander Bogaerts is the best SS in the AL

You are now aware that Billy "Two Outs With One Swing" Butler has made thirty-six (36) and one-half MILLION United States dollars in his fat and sweaty career

This is how you fix baseball.

Robot umps can never objectively tell if a ball is a strike or not because of the variable height of each player's individual strike zone. All they can do objectively is PROVE that a called strike that never crossed the plate is actually a ball. Because of this, robot ump could never call a called ball a strike since it lacks the information to ever prove it. Let them be able to overrule called strikes in the exact instance in pic related.

This would reduce the number of miscalled pitches and increase offense.

But he statistically is bud.

>23 years old
>silver slugger winner
>hitting .345, 2nd in AL
>not eligible for arbitration for 3 years

If that's a bust every team wants a lineup full of em.

and make every game 5 and a half hours long

>instantaneous feedback on a select few pitches that are missed per game
>5 and a half hours long

Robot umps won't happen anytime soon, because if your team loses a close game you can blame it on the ump instead of your own shitty team
You don't get rid of the whipping boy

If he's not a bust then why has the All-Star Game lineup not wanted any of him?

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YANKEES SUCK

Seems a little bit rude

It was Perfect Dark Zero m8. Not that trash

>Shitcongo

Him and Odubel are quietly having stellar seasons.

Gonna be a good series Mariners. Looking forward to tonight.

Bauer 130 pitches, over/under?

In 4 innings

>tfw a perfectly good image is ruined by "GETTY IMAGES"

>I ask Darvish if it ever gets boring. Having random sex with beautiful women. If he ever gets bored with being the object of female affection. Hahahahaha, he laughs. “Depends. Sometimes if you're getting too much of it, having everyone come up to you every night, you definitely get bored of it. But it's pretty wild when it happens. I'm not gonna lie—98 percent of the time, no matter where we go, it happens. It's literally been like that since the fourth grade. Wherever we roll, it didn't really matter, chicks would come to me no matter what. Even before anything. But a lot of the time when it doesn't happen, you have more fun, anyway, because you can hang out with your boys.”

>Then I ask him what his signature sex move is. Why? I don't know, really. I thought it was funny. “Hmm.” He thinks for a while. Then he has an idea. “Jacking off!” He loves that. “You gotta write that one! That was great."

>Profar batting 390 since being called up

How do we keep him?

Teach him to play left

Boxing lessons

>4 days off in 2 weeks
might as well be the offseason tbf

>Dodgers are a game closer to the Jints
IM
PANICKING

>Mfw swept in ALDS

You mean the All Star game he's leading the voting in for his position right now? The one he'll be starting in next month?

>tfw Napoli is in the home run derby

Shit, I didn't realize Bauer was that bad against Seattle.
>0-4
>6.94 ERA

>inb4 no hitter

From the sound of things, Xander Boegarts will be in it, win decisively, throw a perfect game in the ASG, and carry the Red Sox to multiple World Series Championships as he becomes a 7 time Cy Young winner, 17 time Gold Glover, and 6 time Triple Crown winner. Be the ACE of ACES and greatest SS of all time.

Did I get all of it right Red Sox fans?

It would probably take nearly 200 pitches for Bauer to throw a no no. Each at bat includes a full count and about 6 foul offs with at least 2 or 3 curveballs in the dirt.

100%

ITT: we post pictures of cards that makes us uncomfortable to look at. I'll start.

DO IT MOST PITCHES IN A NO HITTER EVER he can do it too he throws 200 pitches daily

Hopefully his autism stays under control and he can throw a decent game.

>detoilet
I hope you're ready to get skull fucked

Choo choo?

Yah nah, not with Buttler2 hitting into our expert D

No just delete this you got swept in a 4 game series

HAHAHAHA FAGGOT

BAND WAGONING FAGGOTS BLOWN THE FUCK OUT BY LEAVELAND

>Young giving up 4 homeruns
lmao
the doyals

Not a bandwagoner. Been a fan since i was in T-Ball. Lurked here a long time before the 2014 and 2015 seasons and occasionally posted. I use this trip because I made a bet with Captain D about who will win the AL Central.

Make me

Yeah no fuck Morales. We need Eibner back.

No excuses for Young. He made mistakes and they were punished hard. You can't throw 85 mph meatballs down the middle with a batter friendly wind. Hell, anyone who does that regardless of the wind should be punished.