Okay so I've been thinking about killing someone for a long time now...

Okay so I've been thinking about killing someone for a long time now. Anybody got any tips on what to do with the body and best way to kill them ? Pic unrelated

Throw it in the ocean

...

cut off fingertips, burn body, wear satin gloves, dump in middle of lake/ocean

You should killl someone in particular


Yourself

You must be absolutely sure that they deserve it, above anything else
A life is a terrible thing to take, OP

If you have a motive to kill someone that others know about, you'll get caught

I think you should write random crap instead of killing someone

step 1: graduate middle school

Best way to kill them is strap mask connected to helium tank. Don't worry about the body, the cops will find you eventually

The person I want to kill is someone I can't go into great detail about. They do deserve it as they have one of my family members hostage. I just need to cut all ties from their dead body to me as I cannot go to jail because I wouldn't survive in that environment to be quite honest.

...

Checked

potassium cyanide in a spray bottle.

>they have one of my family members hostage
jesus dude what shithole country do you live in

>OP wants to kill his stepdad

lol

did he put it up your butt faggot?

annon its very simmple. burry the body. in some sort of outside enviroment away from hikers and boy scouts. butty it 7-8 feet down and cover it with wood planks because it will otherwise cave in and arouse susspicion later. godspeed.
DO NOT BURN IT. THEY SMELL LIKE SHIT AND THE WHOLE JOB WONT GET DONE

Don't kill him, just take his eye balls out, cut his thongue, cut his fingers and let him alone in the middle of a desert place in arizona.

the best way to cut all ties from the body is to not fucking touch it. just leave it there

You thus have a motive and will get caught

I'd say gunshot, and dumping the body in a river somewhere. Post pics after pls

I am from a small town in Ireland which isn't that bad at all but nobody will do anything to help because the people who have one of my family members hostage are really powerful drug dealers who basically run the place. I've been thinking about using chemicals alright seems to be the best way to leave as little trace as possible.

headshot plz op dont be a scrub

Body will float and be discovered.

>they have one of my family members hostage
Oh okay, so you're butthurt that you don't get to dictate who your family members have relationships with and want to kill them because you think you know best. Classic sociopathic delusions of superiority.

Cringe threads next door, you double nigger

What about tieing a heavy object to body. Like an anvil or some shit

>yogurt

If you know what this is... and how it's related. Let me know. I don't have a picture of the guidelines on my phone unfortunately.

Call the Ira. Tell them that the dealers are funneling money to ulster red hand groups. They solve your problem for you.

What do you mean they have a family member hostage? That's illegal

the new IRA hate drug dealers right

Do this but bury a dead dog a few feet above the corpse. Cops would think it's a false positive if they use dogs.

Unless they're giving money to the IRA funds

The body will decompose and the weight will come lose.

Sociopaths don't have delusions. They're more logical than you are

Poison. a small amount of antifreeze will kill a person and can only be detected if they know to look for that specifically, plus the taste is sweet so its easy to hide. If you know them and people know you have it out for them you will most likely be caught

Just kill yourself instead, OP

Mmm, good point

People will get suspicious if a healthy person just drops dead. You would another cause to cover it up.

I would say their only downfall is when they are couple with narcissism and most of them are.

The true logician is more like a scientist.

Just saying

There is really no way you'd ever be able to get away with it when we have technology as advanced as it is today. You'll get caught eventually...don't take the risk

Poisons. you live in England? google

wolfsbane
belladonna
hemlock

"Just get a revolver, AKA a problem solver"

If you go through with it, then you need to pull their teeth out with pliers, and cut their fingers off. It's messy, but it's what you need to do to make sure you don't get caught. Then, bury them in the desert/woods. That way, if somebody finds the body, they won't be able to match dental records or fingerprints.

What makes narcissism a downfall though?

Arrogance makes a good plan turn bad quickly

This. Unless you have a flawless alibi.

Your best bet is to kidnap the person and bury them in the desert. If you're closer to the ocean, try a cement-filled plastic barrel. Lye is very good for dissolving any organic tissue, except teeth.

Lure your victim to the nearest lake or river, make sure there's no witnesses, if it's a girl, strangle her or kill her in some way then rape her dead corpse, if it's a male, just kill him already and then dump him/her onto the river/lake and 90% of the evidence will be gone by the time someone finds the body floating. Wear disposable gloves for precautions, i done it before, trust me, it works, or you can bury the body elsewhere and make sure no one sees you.

It can be good or bad for them, their goals. Their general domineering combined with narcissism may distort accurate views on things.

A pure logician would say, I have used social coercion to dominate.

A narcissistic sociopath would say, I have used social coercion to climb to the top of my company and I am the greatest that ever lived.

There is a difference here. Not saying sociopaths can't be the former.

This is true

What a load of horse shit.
>a small amount
You are one of the most autist on /b

Bury them about 2 feet deep in a remote part of a forest. Face down at about a 20 to 30 degree angle after you give them a yogurt enema. Try to pump as much as you can in there, you need to get at least a couple cups in. They'll decompose beyond recognition very fast. You can rip out their teeth beforehand and throw them in a river or something. Try to make as little of a mess as possible of course. Clean up very well, not even a single hair can be left in your car and such. Be smart and remain calm. Take a moment here and there to compose yourself throughout the process if necessary.

For first timers, it's better you start with murdering a homeless person, you can lure him to the nearest woods just by giving him/her food or money, and then kill him/her there, no one will care about that worthless fuck living on the street. bury him and trust me, no one will bother to find a homeless person.

Leave the body where you kill them. The less you touch and come in contact with the better. . 22lr to the base of the skull instant death almost no blood. Hold the muzzle to the skin to muffle the blast. Have an escape plan.

>Dealers
Lethal shroom mixed with their own dope, like amanita :
- think it's bad quality dope with stage 1
- Don't report to doctors
- Report to hospital too late for stage 2
- Bye-bye or anyways their dealing biz will go public

...

Use a shotgun, pick up the empty shells after you shoot, and then leave the scene. If you have an alibi, they won't catch you

>i've done it before, trust me it works

Use a gun. Wear gloves. Shave serial number. Leave the gun at the scene.

That is every way to get caught

Yes you will die in prison if you get tcaught
The best advice for getting away I have is this. You must think like a dead body.

stuff orifices w/yogurt speeds up deterioration

kek

You can get somebody else to do it for you:
- Another pissed-off dealer
- A police officer using self-defense
- Some random person in a car accident...

Just observe, stay put, and ready for the good opportunity.

Just stab them in the parking lot at night and run like hell and don't come back

Get drunk
Get in your car
Smash them
Report to police in tears

I say slit the throat then buy a plastic tub and fill it with acid, works like a charm

Hire someone maybe

Kek.

Find a pig farm. Pigs eat everything, hair, bones, teeth, etc.

>Hang yourself with a high altitude weather balloon

Bingo.

Lolo lollipop k Olli lol

You are living proof that Christ's death was in vain. You embody all of the worst aspects of our gluttonous and proudly ignorant culture. People like you are the reason why democracy fails, and you don't even care. As long as you can keep shoveling more processed, high fructose garbage into your septic maw, you will gladly continue to take more and more while the world rots around you. You are a damn pig, consuming and polluting while producing nothing but feces, and you still have the god damn gall to talk like you think you have something to say that's worth listening to? Your every affectation is cringeworthy. Your "intellectual" musings are a lamentable pretense which fool nobody but yourself. You contribute NOTHING of value to the world. All you do is consume. You are a waste of food, the world would be better off without you. Do us all a favor; Find one of the bottles under your sink and drink it! At least then, you'll be feeding some worms. Just make sure you wrap yourself in plastic before you die! That way, when your feces and piss leak out of that disgusting husk you call a body, no one will have to clean up after you. And don't even bother writing a note, nobody will read it. Now get out of my sight.

Drug them
Stick a beard to their face
Strap heavy stuff around them
Let them loose in a highschool
Call the police

Edgy. I'll bite and give you a response.

>682867024
Fuck you and your stupid Christian beliefs. If people like you go to heaven then I'll be happier away from you in hell

Lolz. Not a very creative bunch -.- it's not a good idea to kill someone, it's not like the movies op. Find some other way to make their life hell or find some way you can report them to the police. If your asking Sup Forums your not the next Jack the Ripper. My 2cents.
-iOprichnik

Shoot them with drugs, watch them die, leave. Works think they overdosed

>when they take the bait

>Christian
Pray god that it does the job for you
Maybe some lamb eviscerating helps?
He's an dealer, thus an evildoer, so you can rightfully burn him to dead in a funeral pyre

Cook it and serve to the homeless

Shoo shoo CIA

Marry them so they get fat and die sooner.

are you fucking stupid, you must be new

I have a method I like
>Chop the body
>clean the meat from the bones
> put the meat in some bag
>crush (optional grind) the bones into little pieces
>Get out with the meat bags and throw them away arrow some trashbins outside the residence area
> repeat the process (2 outings so if you are caught in the first just say some meat just went bad)

Ummm the obvious- heroin overdose

Meant to say repeat with the bone bags