Please state the nature of the medical emergency

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

i have a live frag grenade logged up my booty.

i got my dick caught in the vacuum

Can you fix me?

Relax, weebo. I got this.

It's AIDS.

no one can fix you; im sorry.

I got my dick caught in Data.

Hm, you'll need 500 milligrams of coaxaline.

You sure?

>I've got this one, doctor.

im sure. there is no hope for you now.

i talk like a fag and my shits all retarded

Computer, deactivate the emh

>Wh-why is there another Doctor?

Why are you jumping to coaxaline? Have you even spoken to the patient yet?

If I poop it smells bad. But I enjoy it.
Whats wrong with me, doc?

Trust me, coaxaline fixes everything. Even Borg implants.

You may need to speak to Neelix about that.

I'm sorry Doctor, but I can't allow this.

Testicular torsion.

Fuckin' do it...

wh-what are you doing?

are you going to diagnose me or not?

I can't; that's a job for the morale officer.

I want a holographic wife.

doc i came too ask u is this ok to drink? my mom told me to come here instantaneouly or something

coz i feel high as fuck

same bro.

FUCK IT, JUST DO IT!!!

qualified psychiatrist my ass

I'm pretty sure I said, "no alcohol on my ship."

What the hell are you planning to do to my ship's doctor?

He's in the Mess Hall.

Hey doc my Okompa Lompa appears to be malfunctioning.

...

mom? what are you DOING here?!

ugh you're always fucking embarressing me!!! i hate you!

Bitch, you wanna have an angry nigger slap fight?

>oh dear god...

stop trying so hard

>mom
Okay, let me escort you to a transporter room

and YOU to the brig

I'm bored. Fuck off.

I hate brocolli"

Hey guys, what's going on? Why's everyone in the sick bay?

Calm down captain, have some milk.

I have no reason to live and no motivation to find one.

You listen to me motherfucker and you do it right now. This is my fucking thread and I'm going to have it my way. You're either on my side or I'm using my authoritarian power to the very limits of the sadism I am allowed by it.

Now are we clear, or am I going to have to have you killed once I become Madame President?

I am sexually frustrated and it's murdering me

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

Go talk to Neelix.

Hey... Dats mah bos fam!

I can't stop fapping to traps and loli. I want to be normal.

...

You're not the medicine man I am looking for.

Why? He has no reason to live either.

Prescribe me 2 ounces of Kali Kush or you're fired, cuckquean.

That's so nice! A negro who knows how to read

Nope. I repeat. Fuck off.

bleach

And who are YOU now?

We have holodecks for that.

FRACKING WORF, NO SMOKING ON MY SHIP!!

Oh don't be such a baby, hearts grow back!
*no they do not*

JUST

Who's getting raped tonight?

(I'm the boss around here, motherfucker. I'll have you banned.)

ill have yuh knu harts du net gro bck

coming from the woman that was totally cucking chakotay for tuvok

I'mma be your BBC white girl....

I'm sorry we are a little short on doctors at the moment.

ehlo, i ehm...... doktor robin sssss.... ni dont no how to say in inglis v wel

mmmmmm...... i zuk ya dik??

The prophets have spoken, and the chosen BBC is me, now fuck off you ape.

yes.

So ban me faggot.

You look like a shrink.

You wanna try that again?

Janeway sad.

Mmmmm.. yes.

enjoy this veteran ranger.

Could I interest any of you in some latinum?

i would enjoy some latinum.

best hologram in star fleet

best character in voyager

i am docta barber Rambo

You be good to eye and eye you live long baby, you live long. You not be good to Rambo, DIE SOON

alright, how many strips can I put you down for?

this was a good thread. gg op

666 strips please.

What are you doing, Quark?

>Look at me
>I'm the Doctor now

sellin me latinum you nigger.

Hey, don't talk to Odo like that.

sowwie.

Alright then.

Hey, where'd Quark go?

you never diagnosed me fgt.

I TOLD you to go talk to Neelix about your excrement-fetish.

o. my bad homie.

My butthole is perforated.

yumyum.

I have an ache in my groin that won't go away and the tissue down there seems to be going through some sort of hardening

Is it possible for an understanding hologram like you to 'lend a helping hand'?

If you're looking for 'help,' I could offer it. I'm also exploring my human sexuality.

Not my yumyum. My BUMBUM

but your bumbum is yumyum.

Since when do you give latinum? You're up to something.

Doctor, I have a tummy ache :'(

...

this is now a Neelix thread

NO MEANS NO!

Mr. Neelix, please return to the mess hall.

...

...

you just remembered that the Borg children exist

BIG UP TO THE ICHEB POSSE