I am a hold guard. Ask me anything

I am a hold guard. Ask me anything

>frost trolls will be ignored

How do you feel about Ulfric StormCock

Where is megaton from here?

You used to be an adventurer? Why stop?

Seen any dragons recently?

Have you always been a hold guard? Did you have some sort of occupation before taking up guarding?

When was the last time you had a bandit raid?

He is the true high king of skyrim

hohoho travelers, thanks for getting the staff of magnus for me, i'll be taking that.

>see that crator over thur?

What are your thoughts on the dragonborn and his work?

How do I get to New Vegas from here, exactly? I'm a little lost.

Unfortunately I sustained a patella injury from a projectile

>this thread
>mfw I see what OP did there

Dragonborn. Ha! Such a thing only exists in legends.

Do you get to the Cloud District very often?
I'll have you know there's no pusssssieee

Someone stole my sweet roll!!

That's not a question.

...

Someone stole my Sweet Roll?

Hail Sithis?

Will you get my sweet roll back, please mister?!

Howdy there cowboy! You look a little lost there, feller!!

When are you going to fucking do something about these god damn Skooma addicts

Would you like to buy some flowers? Please?

YOURE A GUARD NOT AN ASTROPHYSICIST! SAY THE LINE!

...

>Mfw someone didn't steal this guys sweet ROLL
>nice dubs

Fuck I remember the laughs from that episode. Best Sips moment to date.

Leia?

I use to be an adventurer like you, but then I had an arrow strike my knee.

No, you must have eaten it.

Hahahahaha

Can you help me test this black soul gem?

You took an arrow in the knee pleb. Don't lie.

Underrated

I'll beat down any nigg- I mean dark elves who look like potential skooma dealers

>had an arrow strike my knee.
>mfw I cringe so hard at the incorrectness

Is it against the law if she looks 12; but she's actually 200?

Haha nice pun. 10/10

Did somebody say skooma?

Git gud, scrub.

I'd hit dat

Do I smell like a wet dog?

If she's legal then she's legal.

I hope the area directly above your head isn't classified as a no fly zone.

I once was a swashbuckler too, but then I took a crossbow bolt in the ankle

What is your take on the recent ratial violence and poliece brutalitey against the cajiet?

It's Skyrim, there's no written law about this.
You're welcome.

It never happened my friend

Have you seen Randy savage lately?

>ratial

Would you fuck a dragon and argonian given the chance

>racial

English much?

Second

I would let any lusty argonian maid polish my spear

>rachel

Hard.

...

Wait, I know you

What's a spear? I only have swords axes and hammers

I am a vampire and am constantly attacked by everyone. I have no dark soul stone and can't meet with Falion in Morthal because he tries to kill me. What should I do?

Underrated post

It's his dick. Not a weapon.

No mace? What a disgrace.

>this degenerate never even read part II

Die vampire!

YO NIGGA WHY IS YOU ALWAYS HASTLIN US! IS YOU GOTTA PROLEM WIFF US OR SOMETIN?!

Get outta here DeAndre. I'm not putting up with your nigger shit today.

Do you get to the cloud district often? Oh what am I saying of course you don't.

I'LL PAINT THE SNOW WITH YOUR BLOOD

Thanks nigger

I DINDU NUFFIN! YA'LL NIGGAS WANNA THROW HANDS I'LL THROW HANDS!

Have you seen dat boi from hammer fell?

COME AT ME NIGGAS!

He had curved swords O shit waddup

...

I'll mount your head on my wall

Why aren't you doing your part in helping the less fortunate?
You have the internet, you have a brain, and you have the ability to read, learn, and increase your intelligence.
You can benefit yourself while benefiting others in the world.

Humans are social creatures.
Humans benefit from each other.

The misfortune of others in turn causes us misfortune.

The more people there are to contribute to the world, the more we as individuals benefit.

We wouldn't have Sup Forums if it wasn't for other people.

If it wasn't for OP we wouldn't have this thread.

GUARD BRUTALITY! ALLS I HAD WAS NORD MEAD AND A SWEET ROLL!

>dat boi
Oh shit whaddup

Stop right there, criminal scum!

This shit has become worse than Damn Daniel.

my sieds

Do Redguards commit the most crime?

I have a bad knee, which healing wizard do you recommend?

I notice the body I left inside the fire pit behind you is missing, any idea what may have happened?

let me get my caravan in the city you filthy imperial

If it wasn't for me, someone wouldn't have a bowl of rice, or the bowls of rice for a whole village would be smaller.

Any good bandit raids lately?