HOW TO BE A NIGGER
PART I
1) Lie about how big your dick is all the time, and about how many white women you fucked while their husbands were away at work. This way, you feel wanted by someone other than law enforcement.
2) Bounce as much as you can, bobble your head up & down and back & forth, and hold your crotch when you walk. Don't forget to lick your lips as much as possible.
3) Wear the largest clothes you can find. Wear you cap backwards or sideways. Wear a bandana underneath the cap if possible.
4) Screw as many fat negro sows as you can, this way Your illegitimate children help the mothers bleed the government dry, and you can lie to yourself about what a "playa you is".
5) Only drink malt liquor, Colt 45, or Thunderbird.
6)When you get pulled over and arrested for the trunkful of weed in your Sedan deVille, yell racism and racial profiling (even if the cop is black, he's an oreo). Make sure the Nation of Islam and the NAACP hear about your case. Don't forget the ACLU.
7) All negresses will allow their heathen children to run wild in stores and break things. When they want you to pay for the items, tell them, "you just want me to pay for that shit cuz I'm black. You'd let me go if I was white, muthafucka."
8) All negresses will converse with the black check-out clerks at the grocery store and hold up the line, especially when there's a lot of white folks behind you. Act like you can't find your money and hold up the line even further.
9) Talk about how much you hate white people with your buddies when soliciting downtown street corners, then lose all focus and hose your shorts when watching all the fine, white businesswomen walking past.
10) It doesn't matter how shitty your car is, put the biggest diameter rims on you can find, and the most expensive stereo system. Ride around in white neighborhoods at night and play rap music as loud as you can. We love the rattling trunk, we really, really do.