Currently living at home alone. My GF moved out a few weeks ago. We were having lots of arguments n shit. Were still toghether, just on a break. However,
only I have the keys to the house
About 4 nights ago I got back from work late and was in bed about 10 mins later. Was kinda restless. I kept hearing creaking and whatever from around the house, which I know
is perfectly normal in the dead of night when everything is quiet. Anyway, I was certain I heard talking coming from the living room. It didnt last long. Anyway, I
just sort of ignored it. Like I said, I dont believe in paranormal shit.
That morning woke up because my kettle crashed to the floor in the kitchen. Very weird. But again, didnt put it down to anything paranormal. Went about my day.
Got home that night and my house was a fucking mess. I didnt remember leaving it in a mess. Call up my GF ask if she was round. Turns out she is about 300 miles away in
Scotland. She also reminds me that she has no keys.
Currently living at home alone. My GF moved out a few weeks ago. We were having lots of arguments n shit...
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...This is where it becomes fucked up. Yesterday I get home from work. Hearing lots of weird bangs and stuff from around the house. Trying to ignore it be now its starting to genuinely
freak me out. Have a bunch of drinks, catch up on Game of Thrones. Go to bed. Im lying in bed. I didnt go to bed drunk. Mildly tipsy. Im lying on my side of the bed, alone.
Im half alseep and it feels like someone has got in beside me. Im a half alseep, confused. But I can feel the bed moving. As I start to turn over to see whats there
this loud as fuck eruption in laughing from that side of the bed. I cant see shit, its pitch black (ususlly there is some light leaking into the room) I shit myself and run into
the living room. Turn on all the lights. Iv sat here till about 7am. Couldnt call anyone was too early. All my shit is in the bedroom anyway, phone, laptop etc. So
at around 7 I plucked up the courage to go back into the room. The door is shut. I defenatly didnt shut the door, I just ran. I opened the door and the bed has been made
my my wardrobe doors have been opened. There was also a very strong smell of hot rubber. As Im surveying whats around me, the bedroom door slams INCREDIBLY loud behind me
So now, Im just sat in my bedroom wondering what the fuck to do now.
Decide to leave it a few minutes. Then I go back into the living room. All the doors have been closed. The television turned off.
Now Im just sat here. I can occasionally hear movement activity from that room. Called some friends who are gonna come over later to verify. But what the fuck do I do in the meantime??
Draw a fucking cross or some shit and yell 'THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU" easy shit it should get rid of satanic entity
Funny. Im sure that will do fuck all though.
Update: Heard a tiny bit of laughing coming from the room.
Sorry mate, you have gone schizoid. Seek help. Plenty of drugs to rebalance you.Just do it.
You really can't be scared of it, good read is the ghost puncher. The fucker literally beat the shit out of a ghost and asserted dominance. Tell your friends to bring a cross, and some holy water possibly. Don't show being scared just go all out alpha over it
Im not going to enlist the help of 'GOD' in this. Might aswell enlist the help of fucking Santa Claus
Not schizoid. Its all very real.
man up bro, you can with all of this
Okay, the demon is fucking santa claus as well, and your just a schizoid autismo faggot.
Get a vacuum cleaner and a flashlight.
Just be prepared. Oh, and arm yourself with some salt.
wtf??
The fear feeds it. Stop being scared of it.
You're like a four-course meal right now.
It may be paranormal, but the worat it's done so far is make a mess and make spooky noises.
Confront it.
video tape it. i wanna see
Yo why the shit are you not recording this? Seriosuly? wtf? If this ever happened to me! RECORD THAT SHIT!
Luigis mansion reference.
dude no lie whip your dick out like if I was a ghost and some dude whipped his dick out I would be like alright im done.
There are some very simple rituals common across many different traditions which can protect you. My suggestion is sprinkling ordinary table salt in each corner of the room to be protected. Salt is a purifying agent. Each day, sweep up the salt, throw it away, and replace it.
Something else you can try is an iron nail above each window and door. It has to be iron, not steel.
The truth of the matter is that it's all a matter of belief and Will. The ritual itself is simply how you give yourself permission to raise walls of protection. Remember these entities are not "out there," in the physical world; they're inside your head. The protection works through suggestion. As long as you believe in the protection, it will work.
fap in front of the ghost or supposed entity
there is a chance it will give you a ghost blowjob, not sure how that feels
Hey user where do you live? I'd love to come and document the activity. I could also have someone cleanse your house
So basically your saying that it's fake and he has to induce rituals to prove to his own mind that it's fake
Iv downloaded a sleeptaking app on my phone. Phone is currently in the room recording everything.
I second this. Ghost puncher is quite a good read and shows that not having fear gives you power over the spoops. Also take your ghost stuff to /x/.
Aylesbury, UK. Come if you want. I dont give a shit. Its real. I got friends coming over later.
fuck yes! i love you. Please don't die before this happens! :D
How long till the calvary gets there?
Kek
Just take a camera, walk around the house and wait for something to happen. If this is too much to handle, I'd recommend you get help from someone to find what the fuck is happening. Also I'd recommend you don't sleep at your house tonight if this kind of shit keeps happening. Also take salt and eventually a weapon if it could be an intruder. I don't really believe in paranormal stuff but I'm interested. Good luck OP.
So wait, the retards with shit reactions to paranormal entities and shit isn't just in movies?
Like, assuming this shit isn't bait, you're saying that you're actually still in the house that you claim is haunted? Is that an American thing? To be on Sup Forums asking what to do when your house is supposedly being fucked by a demonic power?
Kickass nigga
Take pics maybe something spoopy will pop up
Please don't die. lel
Without a doubt it has DEFINATELY recorded the last 2 instances of laughing Iv heard in the last 30 minutes. Smell of rubber is creeping into this room now. What the fuck is that? Should I just leave and come back later? I dont want my house wrecked if I go!!
Pretty sure he English or Irish
>Is this an American thing
>OP is in UK
READ, NIGGA!
No. That's absolutely not what I'm saying. These entities are archetypes; they exist on the level of the Dreamtime, the level of symbol where reality is manufactured. If anything, they're *more* real than the physical because we have immediate experience of them, while the physical world is at one remove.
fuck that don't leave nigga. this is your house nigga! know one thing fuck this guy. if you die make sure you find this ghost in the after life to kick its ass too my nig.
Dude, don't leave your house. Stay in here, but open a window or anything in case you need to get the fuck out quickly, who knows. Keep listening and watching, you could maybe find a rational explaination to this mess if you stay and pay attention.
I doubt you staying or leaving will change it's mind on whether or not to fuck your house up
Im on here, killing time till my friends arrive. My phone is in my room. Not leaving without my phone and not going back in that room.
If I read this shit on 4chin I would assume bait. But i can assure you this is all happening. Iv got audio recording happening and soon other people to verfy my story. This has all come out of nowhere really, and up until the early hurs of this morning I didnt believe in this shit..
this right here have an exit plan but stand that ground baby! FUCK i wish we had like a mumble for this shit or something oooooo discord?!
English
OP, I'm an esoteric mystic and a part-time tarot reader. The advice I gave you here is my professional opinion. At this point I have to assume you're just shitposting a poor attempt at creepypasta and wasting my time.
masterbate its a ki thing and genuinely fucks off "others"
>Go into the room
>grab the phone and the laptop
>upload the video
>webm it here
>???????????
>profit!
update: Can clearly hear walking upstairs about my head in the bathroom. Thats above the noise of the TV, so its pretty loud.
What the fuck will salt do!?!?
>chekd
Pics or it didn't fucking happen, bro.
throw that shit is their ghost ass eyes of course
fucking bump omg
Salt is said to keep bad spirits away. I don't really believe in this kind of shit but who knows.
Remember to stay near a window in case you need to get out quick. But don't leave until you think you really are in danger.
Say the following : u havin a giggle ere m8? I'll bash yer fookin head in swear on me mum
My phone is currently sat in aforementioned room collecting audio recording. So far, there has been nothing to see anyway..just hear.
Right. I'm done. Congratulations on making me waste my time. I hope your shitty play-acting actually attracts the attention of something nasty and pissed-off. You deserve it, OP. Esoteric mystic signing off.
Open porn and play it out loud
stopped read at
>defenatly
I'm pretty sure you're just retarded and are blacking out from sheer stupidity.
Go in there an grab it.
Picture? Video? Proof?
Whatever. Just telling you what I hear. Was supposed to read 'above' my head. Im currently sat directly below the bathroom. All doors down here are open so i can hear everything.
So, if this were real, the only move would be to call the cops. If your first thought was that someone was in the house, why would that not be the very first thing you do
Do a barrel roll!
if it's a female ghost, can you get nudes?
fucking /b
Not OP, and not buying OP's shit, but you are a gigantic faggot for thinking your (or anyone's) "professional opinion" on anything matters enough as to force the poster to accept your view as truth and discontinue seeking advice from the hive.
Tip get the fuck out normally burning smells means a demon persons i say get a stick of sage and salt or go down to your church and ask for an exersism i feel bad for you as you have to go through this but trust me that thing will fuck with you diminish your sanity make everyone think your insane and take you when your weak.
>in the bathroom
Shitting?
But you said that the tv was off
Top Kek!
Fuck it. I'm getting my phone and uploading whatever its recorded. brb.
Man, I don't even care if this is fake. This is quite entertaining actually.
Grab your balls and try going back to that fucking room, mate. I really want to hear that audio recording you're talking about. Open a window before you go in there, so you can get out really quick if you see something that makes you shit yourself. Take salt and eventually a knife. It could be an intruder.
Get naked and start masturbating while throwing salt in every corner and start yelling at the ghost.
Its like with spiders...theyre more afraid of us then we are from them
Wtf am i looking at?
Dubs of truth
Risky option, possibility of best outcome.
>I'm going to go jump around and laugh and make spooky noises and then come back and post them
Sounds good m8
R.I.P OP
nigga, you were robbed.
link to ghost puncher album:
imgur.com
i suggest doing this, its gonna be hard to pull off but i promise it'll be so weird it'll confuse the ghost.
Take all your clothes off, rub honey and olive oil all over your body that way if the ghost tries to grab you YOU SLICK MY NIG. Then just open the the door fast or kick that bitch in and have the largest SMILE on your face with eyes wide the fuck open and yell ITS JIHAD TIME! and then do the coitis dance while heading towards your phones and grab that bitch and run outside!
If this doesn't work at least you feel awesome because of the olive oil and honey :)
was off when I came back in. Iv since turned it back on. Its been on for about 4 hours now. I understand people not believing me, so i will just get the audio recording and people can make up their own minds...
Kek
Looks like an ear gauge
can we see the kettle OP?
Here's something scary...........I'm 42 and here!
Hold on sitting in bathroom how are you on Sup Forums
call the ghostbusters
just not the female ones. they suck.
A boojob
RIP OP. Hope you don't haunt any of us.
As long as you're not 50 and not a pedophile, you're fine being here.
Kek
almost satanic trips, would have made this thread worthwhile
...
Gauged earlobe that broke gradually and the bitch let it rot away until it is almost string. I have gauges and that's nasty.
Incidentally my bass player broke his earlobe in a similar manner.
>A boojob
you just created a fetish you sick fuck
not knowing this is OP's ghost trying to throw this thread off. Almost got us ghost good try.
Go on then
Nigger lives in the UK and hasn't called John Constantine yet.
The fuck is wrong with you m8?
FUCK YOU ALL. Where do you want me to upload this shit?
Pornhub
In yo ass