So I moved to my own place a while ago. How to buy toilet paper without the cashier and other customers laughing...

So I moved to my own place a while ago. How to buy toilet paper without the cashier and other customers laughing? I've been using kitchen paper until now because I'm afraid.

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... are you serious?

I just go to a hardware store and but a piece of rope that's very thick and about 7ft long. Then when I have to clean my ass after taking a shit i just floss my ass with the rope. It saves time and money

fellow Assroper checking in
If you haven't bought ass rope before, just ask the staff at the hardware store which grade will be right for you.
Since you're young you're probably better suited to a grade 3 (yellow) or grade 4 (orange) rope.
Experiment a bit though because it does depend on the person.
I find it handy to have some grade 6 on hand for taco tuesdays :P

>be me
>33
>moved to my own place at 16
>never bought toilet paper in my life

I don't see the point when it is everywhere gratis (this same rule applies to many other household items and cleaning products)

running low? Take a few rolls from work or a public toilet

need bleach? Glass cleaner? Urinal cakes? Buckets / cloth etc? Just go to the pub and break into the cleaning/janitors cupboard.

heck I even took an emergency fire door from a local cinema for a mates bedroom at uni. Took one screwdriver and about 5min

my flowerbed wall came from a local bridge

What's matter buying toilet paper?

Use the self-checkout line.

Nice trips, but terrible advice.
The self checkout machines are useless at cleaning ones asshole.

OH LOOK IT"S THIS THREAD AGAIN

I cant tell if youre brilliantly cheap or just homeless.

Ill just self check those trips

I just don't see the point in buying anything you can find for free.

my garden shed/office is all "reclaimed" materials also.

I was homeless for a stint so maybe it wore off on me. I just don't like things going to waste regardless of who owns them.

I also eat as I peruse a supermarket and don't pay for anything eaten on site. If they want me as a customer they should cater my needs

Hows your personal hygiene? U sound like a guy who smells pretty bad but doesnt know it.

I do the same thing when I'm running low on shit around my house. I nicked my current hand soap and plunger from a university bathroom. I was also homeless for a time, I wonder if this is common in people like us

Every one wipes, user. In fact people think it's weird when you don't buy TP.

Dont be such a faggot. It's not like your buying adult diapers and dildos.

ITT
Niggers

STOP REPLYING TO THIS SHIT

JUST STOP NOW

Op
Just tell them up front it's for your mum

i feel like all the humiliation of buying toilet paper at a normal checkout line would be condensed and experienced all at once when the self checkout thing would eventually fail and set off all those shit paper alarms, then some heavy set middle aged female employee will come yell at you

fuck buying it at all. im lucky enough to have a sink right in front of my toilet so i just use water and soap. even better than paper

>I keep my teeth clean
>soap for body
>shampoo for hair

never used deodorant or any other shit

>never had any complaints

women generally complement me on smelling like a person rather than a magazine

I had natural dreads when I was homeless which picked up smells depending on how I slept

tl;dr
if I smell nobody has ever mentioned it and I have pretty honest friends who would say

This is b8 m8. I saw this thread before like 3 months ago

maybe; I was homeless for just over two years. You?

I think it shifts your priorities and view of waste in general.

that said I will wear one pair of trousers for weeks if I don't go out anywhere. Shirts max of 3 days

>don't wear socks or underwear

Just a little over 7 months. I had a very different state of mind during that time, very paranoid I was going to get robbed,stabbed or carted off to a shelter. I still wake up worried that someone found me sometimes.

I was lucky enough to find a group of 3 other homeless guys living in a memorial garden next to a graveyard.

we looked out for each other and whatever we had so you could go places without taking everything you have with you.

It was when I opened my eyes to communal living. We all shared what we had which wasn't much but we had enough to enjoy ourselves. Felt like a family

>capcha mocking me itt with store fronts

I stayed on a campus for most of my time. I managed to keep myself well groomed enough that I could pass as a student,which I was before then. I slept in empty classrooms and other buildings, and managed to only get the cops called on me twice. Those were after I switched to sleeping days after I got a night job

They will laugh you out of the store.

You poo I poo we all poo. The only difference between me and you is that I realize no body gives a poo

It's fucking toilet paper OP, stop being such a goddamn faggot and get over it

1613 dropbox.com/s/wmmco5nr7nw28je/1e.zip?dl=1