Most retarded thing you've ever done?

most retarded thing you've ever done?

come here

looking at that picture and getting reminded of a pornstar
guess which one

>Crsuh has nipple piecering
>get mine pierced
>reveal it to her outside school
>thought she'd be impressed with our similarities for living life on the edge
>says I look like with a fag with it
>calls me "fag boy" for the next year

Studied hard. Got a job.

Dillion harper

Seth Mcfarlane AKA Dillon Harper

I once ate an entire sandwich and then realised that it wasn't actually a sandwich at all it was a bar of soap but by the time I noticed it was too late so I thought I'd be able to make myself throw up because I didn't think soap would be very good for you so I started punching myself in the tummy over and over again but then it started to hurt and I wasn't throwing up so instead I called an ambulance but they said I would probably be okay but I didn't believe them so then I told them I also drank bleach and they said they'd be there right away and that I should keep trying to throw up but then when they finally got there I realised that it wasn't a bar of soap that I ate it was actually my sandwich and I felt bad so I made them a sandwich but now I'm starting to think that it was actually a bar of soap

Are you trying to bait? Or are you this autistic. That story is impossible, try actually licking a soap bar, it's impossible to not immediately know for many reasons.

inb4 you pretend to be trolling.

exactly, dilion
whait, what's with seth mcfarlane?

seriously nigga

can't believe trips got wasted on this ass post

Yo mama.

i once put my shit in a bottle and threw it at someones window.

>worked at coarc
>place for yards
>in house care
>6-7tards in the house half gone half stayed for the day
>alone with one old downy lady
>"pull-down your pants, I need to check your vagina"
>she lays down in her bed I finger her
>retarded moans
>I stick my dick in her fuck her and cum inside her
>mfw she can't get pregnant
>mfw she's non verbal can't say anything
>mfw that's the most retarded thing I've done.

You raped an old downy?

it's not rape if they don't say no, she probably enjoyed the attention

Aaaaa lil from column A .. a lil from column B

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today user caught the bait

Hello everyone

I have something to share with you

heres my tard story

>be me
>be 28
>at work
>work in office
>chick sits next to me
>we talk a lot
> we fancy each other
>one day we had an idea
>to play with each other in the office
>my hand down her trousers
>hers down mine
>do it at desk to make it more fun
>people start to notice cause were acting weird
>someone comes over
>says what are you doing?
>they look under desk
>they see
>they look at us like we are tarded
>I say "holding hands"

we both lost our jobs but we fuck now to its kinda good

>most retardedthing you've ever done?
I see what you did there.

>17ish years old
>compulsive personality
>live in parents house. neighbors across the street have a waist high fence
>get it in my head that I need to jump their fence
>did it
>feelsgoodman
>start jumping their fence every time I leave the house
>good feeling wears off. start doing trick jumps
>compulsion escalates
>start worrying that they will catch me doing this
>compulsion is too strong, no way to stop now
>weirder and weirder jumps
>land flat on back
>somersault jump
>jump while wearing hat
>jump backwards
>jump in boots
>jump wearing my dad's boots
>need to come up with more extreme jumps
>thinking I need to jump naked
>try to work up the courage, chicken out a few times
>winter evening, dark and cold outside
>stand by front door, parents in the living room on the same floor
>undress until naked
>peek out, nobody on the street
>go for it. run across the icy road almost slipping
>jump the fence perfectly
>run back to the door
>old lady with dog sees me and freaks out
>come back inside, heart rate fucking crazy
>mom sees me naked, pile of clothes on the floor
>"were you outside?"
>run up to my room
>never jump the fence again

>be me
>7 years old
>new baby brother in the room next door
>he's crying
>parents not getting up to deal with it
>go into baby's room
>thinking of ideas to shut him up
>decide a pillow should muffle the crying
>hey! It worked!
>go back to bed
>wake up to mother's screams
>parents think it was SIDS.

you will burn in hell you child murderer

Actually it would be classed as manslaughter.

clever girl

>hey! It worked!
kek

i no belief