Awkward situations thread? Ill start

Awkward situations thread? Ill start.

>last year
>father is a pastor, he lives in parsonage paid for by his church
>rents the rooms in his other, owned house to a few individual tenants
>I am renting basement since I recently moved into the area for a new job
>one of the women who rents a room, we'll call her V, has a laundry hamper in the basement underneath the chute from the upstairs
>dad comes over every Saturday to collect rent, I keep mine on a table outside my door
>hear shuffling around out there that morning
>I know it is my dad, figure he needs something
>open my door and walk out into other part of basement
>see dad with a pair of V's dirty panties clenched in his fist
>he didn't see me at first, so he presses them to his face and takes a huge, audible whiff.
WHATTHEFUCKDIDIJUSTSEE.JPG
>to make things even weirder, he is married, and not to V.
>*ahem*
>dad shits his fucking pants, starts trying to talk but is stuttering so hard no actual words are forming
>his face is beat red, he knows it's all over
>make awkward conversation for a minute and pretend like that didn't just happen before we both leave
>still have random Vietnam style flashbacks of my father's face while he was caught in a moment of primal indulgence with a pair of dirty, sweaty panties.

We ended up getting into an argument about something random a couple days later, and I brought it up. I also brought up how I could really use a new 3DS. He bought it on his secret credit card that my stepmother doesn't know about. I learned a lot of things about my father that week. But mostly, I gained leverage that I can use for the rest of my life.

>serve someone a T-bone
>check back on them a few minutes later
>they say it's delicious
>"It looks delicious!"
>quickly walk away
>oh lord

>We ended up getting into an argument about something random a couple days later, and I brought it up. I also brought up how I could really use a new 3DS.

you are not a good person

he sounds like a woman

My father has not been the most "dadly" of father's to me in my lifetime. He was crack addict and alcoholic before he became a pastor and suddenly everything he did was holy. Our conversations usually consisted of him talking about how he was disappointed in my life choices and then explaining how awesome his life is because he found Jesus. When I moved into that house, as I previously mentioned, he charged me 500 dollars a month for a room in a shitty, leaky, dirty basement because he knew I didn't have anywhere to go right away. I love my Dad and everything, but I was just excited to finally catch him doing something a pastor shouldn't be doing.

tl;dr - My dad can be a real dick sometimes, so I saw an opportunity and took it.

Every time I go to a movie and they say "Enjoy the show!" I always say "You too!".

WHY GOD WHY

bump, anyone else?

Haha yesterday I told someone to enjoy their steak and they said "You too!"

Definitely gave me a giggle

I don't know what's worse, that you'd want to leverage the situation for your benefit or that he'd go along with it. You sound like a cunt and he sounds weak.

I'll share another one to bump:

>junior year of high school
>english class
>new teacher's aide is incredibly hot
>she is reading the end of The Great Gatsby to the class
>“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne ceaselessly into the past.”
>picture her on a boat, in a bikini
>oh,thatsnice.png
>bells rings about 5 seconds later
>go to stand up, pants are tight
>massive boner
>immediately sit back down
>almost everyone else in class has left already, I'm just sitting at my desk
>"user, do you need something?"
>"No, I'm good, just... not ready to leave yet."
>people start walking in for the next period
>kid walks up to me and says I'm in his seat
>ohshit
>get up and try to walk away while bending my torso over to try and find a boner balance
>teacher's aide sees boner and blushes
>walk into the hallway and bend over at the drinking fountain pretending to get a drink for 5 minutes until boner goes away

> be me, 9 years old
> microwaving some shit in microwave
> bored af
> see chicken breast in the sink
> mum left it out to defrost
> start groping it
> no idea what the fuck I'm doing, but at least I'm not bored any more
> start moaning
> start gyrating my hips like I'm shakira
> "what are you doing."
> fuckingshit.wav
> turn around, probably looked shocked af
> it's mum
> "I'm practicing a dance for school"
> still think about it 17 years later.

Wonder if my mum remembers.

OP was real thirsty

I always feel ridiculous, but I've worked in a couple fast food places in my life and I always heard it a lot when giving people there food, so at least a lot of people do it.

*their, fucking goddamn, I hate my life. THAT was awkward.

Wondering if the other person remembers is always the worst. Because they probably do and just will never bring it up, lol.

bump

...

>go to my friend's house because it's summer and I'm bored
>ring the doorbell, her mom answers and says she's in her room
>say thanks and walk to her room
>burst in saying "waddup" or some stupid shit
>see her on the floor with the dog licking her pussy and a jar of peanut butter next to her
>she gives me mortified, shameful look and tries to cover up
>walk out, her mom asks me what happened and I tell her my parents called
>"okay nice seeing you user"
We both agreed to never mention what happened that day. This is my first time telling anyone. I lost my virginity to her two years later when we were both 16, but I never went down on her because I couldn't forget the incident.

So youll stick your dick in peanut butter dog vagina but won't lick it? Lol. I wouldn't able to forget that either though.

You're as shit as he is.
Is right.

>a new 3DS
are you 12 ?

Yeah, I guess it was pretty shitty. Should have taken the high road instead of being a dick about it. If push came to shove though I could never have actually told on him for it, because he is my father.

>me in 2nd year of Uni. went to whorehouse with friends because we live in 3rd world country
>meet our teacher there, he pretends he doesn't see us
>what ever man, we pick the girls and ready to go in the rooms, but we ask a waiter to give him a note saying 'have a good night Mr.xxx'
>after the deed is done, he was waiting for us at the entrance, explaining he came just to company his bros, yadda yadda, what ever.
>we all got an A in his class for keeping our mouth shut

No, I just wanted a 3DS, seemed cool. I ended up paying him back for it in extra installments added on to my rent. It was more of a loan.