Alright faggots.
**ASK A PLUMBER ANYTHING**
If you ask the right question you may get some very interesting greentexts.
If you ask a new question you will get new greentexts.
Also general plumbing advice.
If you appreciated the advice you were given, reward me with tits.
I like tits.
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How many lonely housewives have you fucked yet?
Nil. Almost fucked one once.
Greentext engaged.
>Working for some mob with a gps tracker on the car. Last job of the day.
>Rock up at house, lonely looking milf.
>Body 8/10
>Face 4/10 but whaver, have not had sex in 2 weeks.
>Get to door.
>Hello miss, my name is user, you called a plumber?
>Yes user, please come in and look at my sink.
>Check sink, easy fix
>No worries love, this'll take 10 minutes.
>While fixing sink issue, lonely milf begins chatting.
>So what's your story user, where you from etc. Usual crap.
>Move forward a bit.
>Have you got a girlfriend user?
>Ohshiti'minforthewin.jpg
>Nah, haven't got a girlfriend at the moment
>Why not user? You're an ATTRACTIVE man, you're obviously very PROFESSIONAL and STRONG...
>"Well I was seeing a girl but she left me two weeks ago"
>Sympathy card is go. I actually left the girl, not the other way around. ;)
>Oh that's TERRIBLE user! Are you doing ok? Surely you've got other girls on the go!
>Nah, chicks my age are a little bit stuck up, they tend to not find me attractive.
>Grabs me by the arm, brings face really close to mine, wide eyed
>REALLY??? REALLY user! I FIND THAT *VERY* HARD TO BELIEVE.
Dick is now rock hard.
Cont.
>user, do you want to stay for dinner?
>Yep, I'm in for the win
>"Ah, look, I'd love to, but I've got a GPS tracker on the car, and if I stay here too long there's trouble"
>Ok user, how about this, you drive your car a couple of blocks up the road and park it somewhere, I'll follow you in my car and drive you back here.
>FUCKYESI'MGETTINGLAIDTONIGHT.webm
>Drop off car, drive back, chick flits around for a bit and microwaves about the shittiest leftovers I've ever tasted.
>Cannot give fuck. Rock hard dick, barrel down food.
>Milf pours herself a glass of wine, would you like a cigarette user?
>Giving flirty eyes.
>Phone rings.
>It's her on again off again boyfriend
>"No no, it's just the plumber, no I'm not seeing anybody"
>Jealous boyfriend? All I need is porn music and the scene is complete.
>Finishes phone call.
>Sorry user, that was my boyfriend, we have.... a lot of troubles over time.
>"Oh you have a boyfriend?"
>NONONONONO!!! *EX* boyfriend...
>sex is still on the cards.
>Pours herself another wine.
>So user... How about that cigarette?
Cont.
What is your favourite shit consistent?
Have you ever felt small droplets of shit on your skin when you've been repairing toilets?
>Sounds good
>Step outside on the balcony.
>She hands me one of her cigarettes
>Standing side by side, her sexy little milf body brushing blatantly against mine.
>So user... I get very lonely...
>Stay quiet, have cigarette, alpha as fuck.
>I don't get many male visitors over here...
>Dick hardening, pants bursting.
>You're not saying much user.
>Wink at her. "Just enjoying the cigarette".
>Well user, you're sucking something of mine, maybe I should suck something of yours....
>FUCKYEAH.winrar
>"Sounds like a solid plan"
>Milf throws cigarette butt in backyard and walks inside.
>Do same, I follow.
>She pulls out chair and motions for me to sit.
>I sit down getting ready for blowjob. Hard as fuck.
>She sits down on table opposite me and pours another glass of wine.
>Uh... ok... whatever.
>Then proceeds to sit there.
>"....you alright love?"
>Milfanon sighs deeply.
>Listen user... I'm sorry if I lead you astray....
>WTF?
>"...what?"
>Well you see, when I told you I wanted some company....
>"...yes?"
>I actually wanted company....
>"...what????"
>......user....I'm an alcoholic...
>My dick drops to half mast.
>I look around for secret camera for joke tv.
>She then starts to regale me on her life story on how she became an alcoholic, and how she really needs company.
>I say that's fair, say I really need to get to back to my car as I have an early start.
>She says no worries user! Give me your phone number!
>Sure thing alcomilf! Gave fake number.
>Takes me to door
>Any chance you can give me a lift back to my car?
>Oh no I can't user, I've been drinking all day! Goodnight!
>Closes door.
>Wander 5 blocks back to car, with half a hardon.
>Beta as fuck.
which is the best shape of pasta?
You may need to take grammar lessons before trying to english.
I've had them spray all over my face dude.
When you have to pull a toilet out and send the drain snake down the hole, shit just flies everywhere, it's fucked.
Geschichten aus dem paulaner garten
Normal straight pasta.
I have a P trap installed in the bathroom sink yet can still smell foul odor from it. This for some reason increases in the summer. We are on city sewage and not septic.
What do you advise?
Do you have a floor waste?
What's your favourite shit consistency?
Is there a way to adjust the water level on a low volume flush toilet? My landlady installed these shitty toilets and the water literally only comes up maybe 2-3" of water so there are shit smears all over the inside of the bowl.
Liquid, 'cause you can just wash it off.
Of course there is, open the lid and adjust the height of the ball valve
Fuck if I know. How can i tell?
Have you ever repaired a drain clogged by a huge cork of sperm?
There's a round grate on the floor for the water to run down if you accidentally spill water on the floor.
No, that's stupid.
No. Definitely not.
Why doesn't my shower drain? I've tried plungering it and using DrainKleer (or whatever that shits called) but it still drains slow as balls
Use a snake nigger.
Does the sink make gurgling sounds when you use it?
Tree roots in the line.
Requires a plumber with a drain snake.
They had the basement drain snekked
No, but can be slow to drain at times. I've snaked it (lol) but it still runs slow.
Elaborate ruse.
Sewer does not run through "filters"
It's a second story bathroom. My other bathroom is fine.
Both of you need to install a vent to the line.
An undersink one way vent will do the trick.
How to fit a reverse osmosis machine? Does it Take fluid out of water?
What systems do you work ok? Convection or condensate? Post pictures of your best work
How big of a pain in the ass is it to find the part to fix my shower lever?
Gotcha, I don't have tits but I do have this. Thanks bro.
He would have a s trap if he had a floor waste you tard.
Hello plumber of Sup Forums,
I am highly educated and earn more money than you. I have an attractive wife, own a home with a 4 car garage, and am a respected member of my community. Simply put, I am in a higher caste than you.
But I need your help. My kitchen sink is backed up and, as a highly educated and respected human being, I do not have the janitorial training to deal with this. Please tell me how to unclog my sink without having to pay someone from your tier of society to infest my home and do it for me.
>Pic related
When you leave a customers house do you say "have a bidet" and the think you're saying good day then you laugh to yourself because you got one over on them?
Never installed one but I don't much see the point unless you're running a hospital or living in a 3rd world country where the water quality is so shit that you can justify wasting 3 litres of water to make one.
Weirdo.
easy, plumbing suppliers will sort you out, just take it in and hand it to them, and they'll fix it up for you.
Nice.
Love a retro sci fi babe. Cheers
hello user
I have a really small bathroom with a really small bathtub that i almost never use.
should i take up the effort and dump the tub in favor of a shower cabin AND a bidet (i wash my ass after every shit)?
thanks user
You know nothing about plumbing faggot, shut the fuck up.
Boiling hot water and bleach down it, then plunger.
Buy a plunger, block one sinkhole with your hand and plunge the other you screaming faggot.
Must dugusting thing you had to fix? Greentext please
No.
Plumber telling customer to go to another plumber.
For sure bro.
Or just pull it out and get yourself a nice little walk in double shower that you can fuck women in, and install a "bum gun" on your toilet.
Or you live in part of England where your water is to hard. Or your growing a crop of weed.
>didn't answer my other 2 questions.
How far through your first year of college are you op?
Not a plumber, a plumbing supplies store.
It's the difference between a baker and a bakery you faggot.
Fuck getting a double shower. Turn it into a wet room is its small, cheaper easier and more spacious
So you can't fix a shower?
Did you know plumbers had to deal with everything that water touched. They even had to install Windows.
> Be me
> Be called into caravan sale place of all joints.
> Caravan sales place is owned by friend of my father.
> Caravan sales place guy is also a plumber, can't fix own problems? WTF?
> Get to front reception
> "Hi, I am Plum/b/user, I am here to fix problem."
> "Ok plumbanon, go ahead..."
> ....you autistic bitch...
> "What is the problem?"
> Consult with about 5 different ladies in office
> Not one of them has a clue.
> Call the owner
> "Oh right, the toilet won't flush"
> "...Yeah, it's kinda been like that for about a month now..."
> MFW they couldn't figure out what problem a plumber could be coming to attend after a month of not being able to flush the toilet properly.
Cont.
Where do you work? I remember talking to a Finnish plumber about the difficulties with pipes etc in extreme weather. What can happen and how do you cope with it?
> Check toilet.
> Clogged as fuck.
> Open inspection point at back.
> Overflows with murky sewer water.
> Herewefuckinggo.avi
> Pull out sewer machine.
> Set up sewer machine.
> Send sewer machine down line.
> End of the hook comes back fucking COVERED in tampons.
> Look around.
> Entire area covered in gravel.
> Nowhere to discreetly hide or bury tampons.
> Fuck it.
> Grab bucket, remove tampons, send hook down again.
> Blockage not moving.
> Retrieve more tampons.
> Some of them are still fresh and bloody.
Cont.
> Retrive more fucking tampons.
> About an hour passes, pulling out nothing but fucking tampons.
> Finally clear line.
> Flush with hose.
> Pack up gear.
> Walk into office.
> Ladies ask "What was problem?"
> "Sanitary napkins"
> Blankfuckingstares.winmov
> "Tampons..."
> It's like the choir all learned to sing at once.
> "Oh well it's not me!"
> "Oh it certainly isn't me!"
> "No, I'm too old!"
> Office space consisting of entirely 6 women.
> Poker face engaged.
> Good employee mode soon follows.
> "Oh yes of course!" *cringing internally*
> "Yeah, look it's obviously some customers who have come past and needed to use the toilet at some stage and have probably just you know, not had the right bin there etc..."
> Alpha of the dumb pipes up
> "BUT THE CUSTOMERS NEVER USE OUR TOILET!!!"
> All eyes on dumbus cunticus.
> Air freezes
> Literally 30 seconds of silence passes.
> "Oh, I mean... Yes! Yes that must be it!"
> Office motion goes back to normal, yet with red scowling faces.
Final tally of tampons.
Three quarters of a fucking bucket's worth...
But "It wasn't me..."
Bitches be liars.
nah I hate bum guns.
but that double shower stuff sounds pretty fucking rad and i think i just might be able to cram it in there
What do you mean I can't fix a shower? Are you even paying attention to what I'm saying to you?
This is a shitty thread
I work in Australia.
We don't have many extreme weather problems here.
Based OP right here
Epic tits.
I see what you did there.jpg
Which way does shit flow?
When is pay day?
Good to know another KBW fan ;)
i assumed you wouldn't be australian, but now that you are, have you ever had any trouble with that fuckin regulatory company/board/whatever thing that gives legit plumbers trouble but doesn't give two shits about dickheads going along to bunnings, attending the "become a qualified plumber in 30 minutes" shit, and then going home and doing diy that they aren't trained for?
Nah, I identify as an Anarchist, so I'm a firm believer that the "specific skilling" of people is a corporate act of fuckery that's fucking this world. Once upon a time generalised skill bases meant everybody could build their own homes from the ground up.
I wouldn't recommend they fuck with gas though.
however it's pretty fucked that they go after licensed plumbers, while the only people who give two shits about the diy'ers are the home insurance companies who don't pay out if they've done diy and their house is destroyed.
oh well, that'll teach dickheads to call people who know what they're doing
Exactly, it's part of a fucked corporate system, where you pay to be involved, and then pay for when they feel like slogging you with another fine/fee
