Alright Sup Forumstards, it's that time again. What's your big secret? Just like diarrhea...

Alright Sup Forumstards, it's that time again. What's your big secret? Just like diarrhea, you gotta let it out at some point.

im a doctor who makes babys cry on propuse.

I am aware of a word that rhymes with orange. You have to protect me. I'm not safe.

I beat my dick off at the Raiders game and cum on the players

My dad made me clean my room so I drugged his Froot Loops and shipped him to North Korea in a pet carrier to work in the gulag

Was going to murder my family in their sleep with a 20 lb dumbbell when I was a young teen. I didn't, mind you.

i never took out the trash.

it sat in the kitchen all day

IM A NORMIE REEEEEEEEE

I skipped out on rent because I wanted to buy a bunch a booze.
I probably did assault that girl and do those things she said.
My mother's the only one who's always on my side and I keep letting her down.
I'm probably a failure.

**bunch of

You Toby Turner?

LMAO he needs to kill himself

I have a shoe fetish and get hard off of flats, converse, all black vans, boots, heels, you name it.

Wanted to kill myself but then remembered that dogs existed

Had to Google it. Haha. I will tell you my name tho
Egan

i'm 24, i'm in a long term relationship, i have a good work. And Sometimes i have the desire that a 15/16/17 yo girl will fall in love with me and that we will run away togheter.

I would be alright with being kept at home, cooking, cleaning and being a sex slave...

I slipped on my own cum and kicked a hole in the wall

i will be able to talk about my secrets in about 82 years, when they become declassified.

KEK

I actually want to kill myself daily. I drink a lot and gash my upper arms and ankles and it helps a lot. They're easy enough to hide.
19 and I briefly dated and fell in love with a 15 year old girl. Her parents found out and made us split up. I'd still love it if one day she ends up in my life again.

i'm newfag oh you already know

HOw is it that girls of that age are so lovable? when i wan 19 i was with a 15 yo girl too.

I constantly fantasize about having a sex slave

When I'm alone with nothing to distract me I cry.

My mom wiped my ass til I was 10.

i'll frame it like this - I had a dream this happened. It did not actually happen, it was just a dream
Once I dreamed I killed a guy and hid him in the wall of the house I was living in. Moved out over 10 years ago, another family has been living there since, hasn't found him. Then I woke up and realized it was all a dream.

With her it was a mix of her compassion, her devotion to me and the fact that she had realistic plans for her future at fifteen. In a lot of ways I admired her. In a lot more ways I loved her. In a lot of ways I still do. I could honestly take my own life painlessly and instantly at any time, and if she didn't exist and I didn't have some hope that some day, one year or thirty from now, I can end up with her again. That's the only reason I haven't given up on being alive.

I get off on reading people get fucked by dogs....knots and breeding turn me on .-.

>I got herpes from a bj almost a year ago, I really only have 1 night stands nowadays cuz I feel everyone takes some risk when they do that.
>Finally met a girl, she's special, we havent had sex yet, I still debate if I should tell her or not and just say "I didn't know" if she catches it.
>Had a mental breakdown a couple days ago because of the building stress. My friends and family think I'm still the same, carefree, and happy person.
>debate killing myself every couple days

are there others like you?

Do you have money? Go buy a pack of razor blades and go to work on gashing your fucking ankles. You'll instantly feel better, it's like getting high but better and it only works when you're suicidal.

why not go on a super hobo excursion to find yourself? i mean, the worst that could happen is you get explore the world around other than the one that makes you wanna kill yourself, yaknow?

Im str8 but i fap to gay porn

Yeah, I have a great job, lots of opportunity. I just figured that I won't be able to find "the one" in life with this condition now. I just hold it all in, cutting myself makes me kinda squirm at the thought of it.

Damn Daniel...

I got news for you buddy.. You ain't as str8 as you think you is.

Trust me, it's not as bad as it seems. It's like you're releasing all that bad juju out of your open wounds. Cut, throw a little peroxide and a bandage on it and enjoy as your brain floods itself with good juju to try and balance out the pain of an injury. You aren't in any danger and barely feel any pain and yet you get the pleasure. It's worth it to try.

You are not straight, buddy.

>I feel like that post is over 9000
Yeah, I thought about that actually tried it in college once and it was enough for me. I just want to be "normal" again, and this girl is one of the first of of a lot that is intellectually beautiful. Thanks for the input tho.

Eh, I'll take it under consideration, my problem is that I would be harming myself and it wouldn't be fixing any problems. Idk maybe I'll try it and it'll be the best stress reliever.

My car's mom tried to finger me in the back of my friend

Now tell me, where do you see yourself on this scale?

All of my wat

Definitely try :)

E1

was molested/fucked by my two cousins but ended up liking it.

Tried to break my leg as a kid so I wouldn't have to go to some girls birthday party. Real pussy magnet I know.

I'm between 2D and 2E

bro, it's just herpes. something like a third of sexually active adults have it. It's something you have to tell her if you want to be in a relationship with her, but I'd be surprised if it was a deal breaker.

For some reason i get much more exited from the making of a looped porn gif than from the very source of the porn i'm looping.

Heroin junkie signing in

yeah and a lot of studies and other things I've read about it says it's not a big deal. But, if you were given the option by your partner, I bet it would probably not play out too well.

Have you tried cutting?

if it was somebody I could see myself with for life, I had a 30% chance of catching it as an adult anyway, and my partner approached it in an adult way? I'd probably go for it.

My secret is that I know who makes these threads

Checked

I have enough track scars, plus y I wud go 4 a small endorphin buzz wen I can flood my brain w/ it. Dope is like what ur trying to actual accomplish by cutting but soo better

I mean I see your point (a good argument too), but we've only been dating for like a month or two and that's definitely not something I could predict or pull the trigger on. The best way I saw going about it, is to tell her once we got to that point in or relationship and just let her know so that she has an out at any point in us being together.

No fucking way, cutting is WAY better. It's free, discrete, gets you JUST as gone with the right slashes in the right place, the risk is like nicking your finger compared to fucking dying, and if you do it right you don't permanently fuck your brain up.

Are you a girl?

A)only tards and newfags die cuz of low tolerance, tester shots ppl! B) also brain damage comes from asphyxiation so don't od and ur brain works

Nope

Enjoy your smack addiction faggot. Call me in a week and I'll buy your car for a dollar.

Fuck you I'm a college grad with a career, cu in the welfare line where my dude sells

i talk about Sup Forums outside of Sup Forums

I've been in a relationship for about 3years and she still doesn't know that I have 3 kids, they are living with their mother in a different state, but she thinks I don't have any kids. I lied about not having any. Oh well I'm a piece of shit.

I'm a married man, but there's a guy I talk to on kik. We swap videos of ourselves jerking off. It gets pretty gay.

I think im to dependent on people so they eventually leave me.

Oh, sweet, a college kid. I'll bring a couple quarters so I can buy your shitty Pulp Fiction poster and your Vans, smacky.

Rules 1 & 2 faggot!

rulz r 4 fags

I'm an atheist. This is an actual secret of mine, no troll.

Don't forget to buy a bundle, my have 12 bags not 10!

I'm a well known celebrity

I'm a satanist. I have only 3 friends that know.

2pac is that you???

I committed the Whitechapel murders back in '88.

I look presentable and innocent but have a bunch of weird fetishes involving the anus

Sort of like a werewolf has to hide it or whatever, except I like buttholes and other stuff involving buttholes

Instead of killing myself I just make cakes for myself.
My friends are very happy for the cakes I gift them, But I hope I run out of mixes soon.

Hi Taylor

Butt hole werewolf? I'd watch that movie

Can I have your autograph?

Given the chance, I would drug my best friend with Devil's Breath (can't remember how to spell the actual name) and rape her repeatedly and film it. Face fucking, creampie, pissing in and on her. You name it. I'm a sick fuck

my secret?
you wanna know my secret?
only if i get dubs

Kek

I need help with a thread post I wanna make on /qa/ but I don't know how to ask for help on it. Also Ive killed people before.

chekt, now spill it

rekt kid
>fucking checkd

Gib, nigger

my secret is......

the kraby patty formula is 95% nigger semen

Given the chance? So you haven't acted on that demented shit yet? If i were a girl who was your friend, i would wear a chasity belt and not drink a damn thing you give me.

Eminem please go

I didn't wash my hands after going poop poop during my lunch break today.

Everyone's coffee at Starbucks was contaminated.

>In 3rd grade I cheated on my history exam.
>In fourth grade I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play.
>In 5th grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog.
>when my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out.
>worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony
> made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa
>dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience.
>all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

>implying people at starbucks don't deserve E. coli

Thx, user, now I know where to get my wife''s food

That's why those white bitches love krabby patties so much!

...

Some dumbfuck state trooper lent me a hard drive that he accidentally left his homemade porn on it!