Im going to thailand for 2 weeks, what should i expect?

im going to thailand for 2 weeks, what should i expect?

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ladyboys

hot traps and 12yo's

Thai food. Prob

/thread

Something like this

Hookers that are really, really good at connect 4

To hook up with a chick and take her back to your hotel
Door knock, she runs and opens
6 thai guys walk in , steal all cash, throw you off balcony
say hi to xanny disjad for me before you get whacked, OP

STD's

everyone smells like peanuts... or was that penis?

If you are a white male, you will literally need to beat the cheap hookers off of you.

Unless you're into that sort of thing

Which you should

Just remember to use a rubber, captain

...

Depends where you go

Expect customs to wanna look through your hdd when you come home

this looks like something id like lol, apparently thers loads of prostitutes and there quite cheap, im a virgin so might have a 3 sum

The average thai male is a 160cm, 55 kilo illiterate rice farmer with scoliosis and goiter

Get ten of them and go bowling

really? i have a severe nut allergy

Bad Cow-Boy Bar my Nigga !!!

I was there in february with my girlfriend. It very much depends on where you go OP. Bankok is smelly and noisy, lots of bars and cheap whores if you are interested in those things. The kings palace and the stupid temple is not worth visiting.
Pukhet is nicer in my opinon. The bars aren't as ''filthy'' in my opinion but you get the same offers there as in bangkok. Beaches are a great plus in my opinion and the smells are not present. OP feel free to ask me anything if you want to know.

Just dont forget to wear rubber kid

yeah i hoping to go there and other islands, are there nice whores on the islands?

dude.. dont blow your money on a threesome for your first time.. you'll be massively disappointed in how little you can perform

nae bor brady

u reckon? if i get drunk i think i shouldnt last 2 soon, ive spend all my life practising

Going for a month. Go to a full moon party!

This. Real talk OP, you should go for an older chick who's more experienced. She'll be more patient if you're nervous and can't get it up.

Nothing. You're going there with fetishizes fantasies.

yeah im hopefully going to that when and where is it?

Well in reality peanuts and peanut oil are supper common in there cuisine. Remeber other countries dont give a shit about allergies

if you're set on a threesome just get a short time for like 30 minutes before you go in on the threesome

The whores are pretty much the same everywhere (appearance). I didn't ask their prices but I'd assume they are a bit more expensive in the islands than in places like Bangkok and Pattaya like everything else (generally 30-50% more expensive compared to Bangkok). I recommend taking a taxi to and from the airport and the place you are staying (I think it was 1000THB for a private taxi to anywhere from the phuket airport), and after that work your way around by foot or by tuktuk. Remember to always bargain with tuktuk drivers and salesmen. I didn't buy any whores there since I was there with my girlfriend but we were still offered the typical pingpong show and such and they were 600THB.

oh shit, im gunna be fucked lol

ARE YOU WHITE? THEN EXPECT TO GET THE EVER FUCKING SHIT BEAT OUT OF YOU BY YOUTH THAI GANGS

im ginger

This.

If you're going to some major tourist resort, expect to be constantly bothered by vendors and waitresses. Food is cheap but you've gotta read Tripadvisor to avoid bad joints. Try eating lunch in low-profile joints where the locals go: cheap and tasty. Prostitutes are pretty easy to find, but use a condom always. Get hepatitis shots before you go (both types if youre gonna fuck locals). Use taxi unless you're in Phuket, where the local buses are way cheaper. Check-in at the immigration office will probably take hours. Go on trips, have a drink, eat well, avoid sunburn and GLHF. Oh and don't mess around with portraits of the royalty, you might get arrested.

Ya i have spent a lot of time in southeast asia. Seirously if you have allergies stay home or go to Canada.

Dudes pretending to be women trying to fuck you. Pretty much Sup Forums

I HOPE YOU AREN'T TOO ATTACHED TO YOUR TEETH

AIDS
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/THREAD


FAT FUCK HAS SPOKEN THE TRUTH AND TRIPS

...

I lived in Bangkok for 1 year as a student. Ask me anything OP

thats why you dont take them to your hotel. you get love rooms, pay by the hour

You know what they say. One night in bangkok makes a hard man cumble.

OK be careful what you eat then. Nobody is very food allergy aware over here. Pad Thai, for example, is always loaded up with chopped peanuts, but you'll never be asked if you want them. Other things like ice cream will often come with a serving of nuts included hidden *under* the ice cream, so you may not even see them until you've already shoved a few in your mouth. Plus don't take that stupid advice about going to full moon parties. Only stupid people go to those. We just rob you and maybe molest you after you pass out drunk. Plus the next day what you'll see is 15,000 hung over people desperately not trying to barf their entire insides out on the grueling boat journey back to Samui, and the sea can be quite choppy too. And our boat drivers don't get around like little old ladies, they've all got something to prove and drive like they're desperate for a shit. Full moon parties are not a Thai thing, they are something that was invented to lure idiot farangs to get robbed, raped, killed, or whatever. Not even by Thais. It's other farangs that do most of the bad stuff. On top of that, we have undercover cops roaming around waiting to catch you buying drugs, and even worse the guy that sells the drugs to you is the one who informs on you to the cops and gets a payment for it. You go to jail and they're all high fiving each other. And don't go near the prostitutes either. They're mostly dirty fucking Issan or Lao girls and there's about 80% HIV positive in their home villages. And many of them will fuck without condoms, despite the ridiculous crap you'll read in guide books. And Thai men are not like that other guy described. Issan men, maybe. But Thai men are mostly tall,heavy, and can smack the shit out of you because we train Muay Thai in school, and that's basically the only game we play for the next 10 years because our parents are too fucking poor to buy us bikes and toys and shit.

ive already got my flights and that booked, what can i do? will the locals speak english so i can ask them?

Nope, not many people here speak English. I'm the best English speaker in my village. There's only 2 other people in my village of about 10,000 population that can speak more than 2 full sentences of English words.

Your boned bro

oh shit alot of ggod stuff mate,
is it easy to get decent weed over there? im stoking everyday and id like to have it out there lol

ten crazy thai street devils with machetes.
gl kid.

this

What to avoid...

Som Tam
Pad Thai
Thai Desserts
Bakery Foods
Cashew Chicken
Bags of Nuts
Girls with deep voices (because they will probably have hidden bags of nuts)

Ladyboys and AIDS. Lots of AIDS

You're full of shit. Almost everyone in Thailand has rudimentary understanding of English. It's the second language that is taught throughout primary and secondary school. Shit even the kids outside of the main cities spoke more english than I thought they would.

Yeah. If you attack one Thai guy, expect a whole bunch to rush you. And they'll bring weapons. Also attack the wrong one, and you could get a worse scenario. Nephew of the local mafia boss or something like that and you're fucked.

I lived there for 7 years and spent a bit of time in the Muay Thai training camps. Some of those scrawny motherfuckers are harder than a coffin nail.

Any white guy that offers to "help" you find those special girls you flew 12000 miles to fuck are more than likely just there to set up up to get busted when you return home.

You are 20 years too late to satisfy your pedosexual fantasies.


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Thais, Thai food, garbage on the streets.

Lots of spaceships, gray-skinned beings with giant heads.

hahaha you dip shit... yes Thai is taught in school. That does not mean anyone actually can speak it. My kids for example. And you can see I can speak English OK, but my kids get English at home and at school and still don't understand much more than "come here", "go away", "stand up", etc. Say something like "does this food have peanuts in it?" and they'll just stare at you like idiots. Because they're idiots. Also...

>stupid farang telling Thai people what it's like to live in Thailand.

So typical!

I repeat, hardly anyone speaks more than a handful of English except for those with really good education (mostly engineers... unlike other countries, even medical doctors in Thailand aren't required to have decent English ability, we hire Filipinas to greet foreigners in the hospitals and they translate ... very poorly!).

To put it another way, you are more likely to find people in your country who can speak fluent Thai than Thai people who can speak fluent English.

Most typical conversation:

T: Hello Mista
F: Hi
T:
F: Hot today
T: Ya, velly hot
F:
T: My name Natapong
F: I'm Brian
T: Where you come from?
F: I'm from America
T: Really?
F: Yes. Say, where can I find a good steak dinner in this town?
T: Mai kow jai
F: Where's that?
T: Solly. Mai kow jai. I no unstan.
F: ??

People from Thailand

...

Fucked up teeth

Bro who warned you in tje first place about peanuts. I dont know what the english situation is like i was part of a team and we always had a translator/fixer. Seirously refund your tickets.

This

Yes, we have more peanuts than we have english.

If you go there for sex :
- ask the ID card to trapcheck.
- 500THB for a blowjob is a good price
- try 2/3 girl at the same it's not that expensive, make them drunk before you fuck them.

Cheese Pizzas. A lot of them.

Lots of ghosts everywhere. Very scary.

not that much.

I live in BKK and I'v never seen any slice on the street

We also have scorpion, cobra, centipede, bat, spider, dog with rabies, cat with rabies, people with rabies, rabies with rabies, babies with rabies, hell.... we probably even have scabies with rabies.

AIDS and traps

if you are able to keep them sober I'd give you a prize..

make them drunk? naw man, just don't stop them from getting drunk, lol

We keep them on the back streets away from the tourist zones. They're illegal for foreigners. Not really illegal for Thais though. Even if there's a law, nobody enforces it. Cops like to get theirs too.

Stargates, U.S. soldiers, Egyptians...

To get kidnapped and sold into sex rings.

Cody get off Sup Forums

You're digging your own grave with lines like
>To put it another way, you are more likely to find people in your country who can speak fluent Thai than Thai people who can speak fluent English.
The conversation you have just posted is more than basically anyone can speak here.
If you try to be condescending and argue with someone at least stay realistic. I mean the other guys a fag but you look like even more of an ass. I suppose that's normal in your shithole though?

Chicks with dicks

I don't know because I never went to your country. But those things like "where you come from" it's what they learn in school, but don't really know what they are asking. That is why you will get asked it 30 times a day. And Thai teachers teaching English suck, they will even contradict NES teachers who try to correct them. And the NES teachers also suck because maybe 1 in 1000 is qualified. The others are just here for girls and beer and it's an easy way to stay in the country. The schools don't care, just want the kids to pass the test and they are given the answers for the test, so nobody fails... in fact that's the problem with school in Thaiand, it's not permitted to fail, so they make sure there's no way you can fail.

What happened that no one will ever believe you?

Go ask on Sup Forums fucking retard.

Squirrels the size of buses. They feed on children.

poverty, mostly

I spent 3 months in Phuket in a Muay Thai boxing camp:
Whores will steal from you
Always wear a condom
Do not pick a fight with a Thai person
The police are corrupt
Most Thai people are lovely
Eat where the Thais eat
Street food is great but watch out for the shits
If you go to the cinema stand for the royal family
It might be worth paying for a girlfriend while you are there

I should visit thailand.

The streets are paved with rich caramel chocolate, the trees are filled with giant Starburst candies.

>paying for a girlfriend
Dafuqwotmate?

So if I wanted to raw dog an asian girl Thailand isn't the place to go?

Translation: pay a Thai girl to fuck you while you are there and to show you around the country. Pay her well and she will look after you

Not that

If you want to raw dog an asian prostitutes in general aren't the way to go.

That sounds weird but cool. Are these girls average hookers or could you find a well educated girl with manners that takes this as a game between adults?

Didnt mean prostitutes. But this thread makes it seem like most thai girls are dirty

Just raw dog a dog. They're free.

I just imagine how you both get lost in a crowd and then you cannot recognize her from the other chinks anymore.

Bump

Is this just a thing with asian prostitutes? Here in the states I have jeard people say its probably safer to go raw with an escort, high class not some cheap street whore. Since they dp it for a living they are more likely to be careful and get tested and shit to make sure they dont have a disease. Where as your just normal everyday girl doesn't even think of shit like that

This, but you can beat them and win money, just make sure you go first.