My bosses are capitalist fuckheads, so for the past month I've been sabotaging shit in the office

My bosses are capitalist fuckheads, so for the past month I've been sabotaging shit in the office.

I've run out of things to do.

Does anyone have any good ideas to cause chaos but not get caught?

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Mixup the cafeinated and decafeinated coffee jars.

Poop your pants at a meeting and watch as everyone tries to figure out what smells like shit.

flush the toilet paper. All of it. Block the shitter.

think about it okay ?
if he was not you would be jobless
useless retard kill yourself

Hide shrimp everywhere.

When they go off, they are nasty smelling shit.

you could organize a union at your workplace

Dial international on meeting room phone and leave it going

kek you should rape their daughters
that'll show them

Take a shit and throw it at the windows.

steal stationary and just dump it.

Turn off the office fridge on Friday and let it warm up the milk over the weekend.

Hide a cellphone in the ceiling LOL

Put plastic in the toaster.

That's straight devilish well done user

Leave a leaking ink pen on the fancy meeting room chair fabric

manup and tell 'em it's you f'ing s$#@ up.

Puss

Fire alarm test.

How dare you bosses be interested in corporate responsible policies. I mean, what kind of asshole wants to maximize profits and run an efficient company? I'm pretty sure by the sound of it, you are punishing them enough my your sheer existence...

Liberals everyone

No way mate. I like my income. I just hate my cunt of a boss.

Oh and swear like a man you Catholic.

Leave a skylight open over the weekend so the rain wrecks the computers.

Constantly through out paper.

Constantly print out all the paper.

Constantly shred paper.

Superglue in the keyholes.

Never flush

Just leave rubbish everywhere.

Graffitti shit.

>Poop your pants at a meeting
scat humor..............le merchant detected

give us some examples of what you did

Pin things on other employees. Leave food in their desk. when it starts to smell mention that "blank" hoards food in his desk. Put food in the fridge with your boss's name on it.

>>Capitalist fuckheads

...still profiting from their business....

Go kill yourself you self-entitled parasite.

Say "so and so told me the boss likes scat porn." The idea is to spread rumors started by other people.

Well cleaners refused to pick up our empty coffee mugs now as the boss doesn't pay them enough. So when I'm finished with my empty mug I just wander to a common area of the office and leave it there.

I organise meetings and schedule it in my diary and go bowling for a couple of hours.

I eat other peoples food from the fridge.

I jam the photcopiers and just leave them all fucked up and shit.

I print porn and leave it on high shelves where it can blow off onto the floor.

I throw rubbish on the floor.

I eat skanky smelly food like curries and shit and stink the office out.

Plant a computer virus.

...

nah too traceable

Sometimes I spoon the sugar into the coffee jar and slightly rip tea bags.

Print out a small middle finger in the corner of every page of paper in the printer. put it back in upside down and shuffled in other paper. It might take a week to find.

well any more?
that porn one does have potential though
what kind of porn?

fuck thats a good one.

Watch your fucking mouth, cussing is not acceptable goddamnit!

whats the matter, mommy doesnt let you use naughty words?

I second that

You're likely to get fired if they find out its you for a few of those.

Yeah.

I spill milk everywhere. When that shit dries it stinks like hell.

I've removed the wheel from three office chairs. That pisses off people no end.

I removed three strips from the vertical blinds in the sunny window and now direct sunlight pastes its way across the office all summer morning.

20 bucks says OP is just a lazy nigger and is mad at his bosses bc they won't let him sleep on the job

Nah. Pissed offf whitebohfag. Who's laboured for years and not got enywhere.

What do you do for a living?


The best thing to do would be to hurt the business.

he's probably gotten nowhere bc instead of filing papers or wtv tf op's supposed to do, he's too busy fucking shit up in the company instead of trying to make it better. OP is a perfect example of what is wrong with America: People expect to not do shit and then get rewarded for it. Fucking hell.

youtube.com/watch?v=Vc6PK7aqTO0

Knot the cord on the blinds so they are stuck open. Leave the porn in the paper tray of copier. Find naked pics that look like coworkers and leave them about.

ohh okay, so thats not your fault?
of course not!
it's those greedy capitalist swine!

Oh come off it with the "WATS WRONG WITH AMERICA IS THAT PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO ACCEPT SHIT WAGES FOR SHIT TIER WORK"

OP probably has a college education and can do all sorts of shit but is stuck doing nonsense for rich corporate assholes who pay him next to nothing.

Trips has spoken

keylogger
backdoor the server
slacken the pipework under all sinks
put open cans of tuna in the heating/cooling ducts
tip off the law about possible cheese pizza on someones computer
walk dog shit into the building everyday "by mistake"
invest in live mousetraps catch a fuckload of mice and let them go in the building .
buy cream cakes and leave them in the office fridge everyday, but jizz in one of them each day.

Thank you. I thought people on the internet would have better fucking sense than this. Goddammit.

Well it is actually. They charge me minimum wages for years until I advanced my skills inhouse and now for years they've paid me fuck all and refuse to give me pay increases but insist I work huge amounts of overtime.

How about you just quit your fucking job, go work for someone that you'd like working for and stop being such a whiny little cunt.

Put salt in the sugar box

Make a screenshot of desktops, use this as wallpaper, hide the taskbar and delete all the shit on the desktop

Put post-its under the mouses

Buy an annoy-a-tron (google and DON'T PAY WITH CC) and hide it in the boss office

that pretty much says it

Self witness

I see where you're coming from, but fucking w execs isn't going to solve diddly fucking squat. If anything, it's just going to worsen his situation.

BRILLIANT!

ITT: butthurt berniecucks

fucking w execs isn't going to solve anything though

The cheese pizza might be good.
Clog the toilet, then poop in it.
Bowl of candy, all sugar free.

pretty much.

Yes but it does make me feel much better.

It gives me hidden power!

I don't think it'll make it worse or solve it.

I think the goal is to piss off the rich people who make these decisions and believe in some system that marginalizes people for dumb reasons.

That's still your fault nigger. Jesus you libs are pathetic

This

How mature. I'm sure you'll get far in life with that attitude.

I do this but it will cost money.

Buy a phone signal jammer and turn it on everytime you hear bosses on the phone. theyre illegal in some countries but awesomely work

Its not always libs. Know a guy who blames obama for losing his job and losing all his toys he had financed. Idiots are idiots.

Ever heard of Russia?

it makes me feel better though ant thats the whole point numbat

u do u, but i'm just saying that this is not the way to go about it.

this do this and post a video of your boss when you do it

I'm a libertarian, I just hate liberals far more than conservatives. As far as I'm concerned, learn a useful skill and fight for a good wage or earn slave pennies with the rest of the unskilled cucks. Not my problem if people starve

If you can come up with a better working solution then Im all for it. But frankly nothing makes me feel happier than tormenting my boss with these childish fucking pranks. I dont give a fuck man.

true

That is hyper illegal. Interfering with telecom is a felony

start up your own competing business

That's fine, eventually you'll get caught and fired, the execs will still have just as much cash and you'll be fighting for another shitty job with the rest of the unskilled cucks. You sure showed them!

kek. respect the honesty.

I know I know but the peace it brings. You buy one of these from China man. You charge it up Turn it on and all day long you get peace man. No ringtoines, no messgaes no facebook notificatons. Its so brilliant. I use it on the bus now on my way to and from work. Its amazing how quiet people are.

kek

He's too much of a cuck to man up. He'd rather just crybaby on Sup Forums about muh income inequality

Send glitter via company mail to your company's head/CEO and sign it from a different member of middle management each time.

If you can find anthrax then even better.

I dont do all these things all the time, I spread them out over months and months. They havent got a fucking clue.

Look I'm all for peace and quiet, but telecom jamming falls under anti terrorism laws. They can lock your ass up for a very fucking long time and then you'll never have peace again.

Break a stink bomb in the staff fridge.

It only takes once

Quit the job, I'm sure them losing such a valuable and intelligent employee will throw them into complete disarray.

starting a competing business isn't a bad idea actually. i used to work for some other company as an office manager at the age of 25. I looked at what they did wrong and what the clients were missing from the company. I took that information, built my own company satisfying those other needs and started slowly taking away the companies' clients.

/thread

Create fake facebook profiles for all your bosses, have them post 'minion quotes' endlessly to any potential clients.

top fucking kek

Drop a mattress in the swimming pool. It will take a crane to get out.

Twist up some ketchup packets and leave them under the toilet seats at work