/brit/

scrathead edition

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I've got more skills than average

>force myself to go out with normies
>crowds and loud noises
>brain seems to literally shut down and I can't think of anything to say
>go home embarrassed and full of self-loathing after having just sat silently all night

It goes like this every single time. Do I have literal autism? Is there any way to fix this?

...

tfw no gf

let me preface this by saying i have mild autism but i want a gf. lads a lot of things happened today.
1) this morning the chubby (but cute) receptionist i've always liked but never talk to really came up to me and looked on my clipboard for something i was looking up for her and her boobie was pressing into my arm. it was really big and soft and it stayed in contact with my arm for like a minute and then she did it again later

2) a young asian girl who looked really pretty in an unconventional way kept making eye contact with me when she was swimming and getting out of the water. she was wearing braces but she drove herself there so she's at least 16. plus she had tits. we held eye contact a lot longer than normally acceptable and she looked happy but she left without coming up and talking to me. she wasn't "hot" but she looked like she'd be the main love interest in a movie about samurai in feudal japan. she was there with her mom

3) i met our new trainee lifeguard today and i bullied her into rubbing sunscreen on my back and made her laugh. she wasn't really cute but she's hotter than either of the whales i've banged

4) i made a very beautiful girl i've worked with for 2 years who's very quiet laugh some today and she seemed happy talking to me. i think i remember she had a boyfriend at one point in time but i dont know if she still does. she's leaving the country next week and i tried to ask her on a date after work today but everyone was walking out at the same time and i was too embarrassed. plus she could have a boyfriend. but i found her number on our staff list online and i'm tempted to call her but idk if that's a really bad idea or not bc i'm autistic like i said previously

also the mean pregnant highschool girl texted me today about something trivial and replied "ok" within seconds after i told her i put her number in my phone after asking who it was who texted me

please dont just reply "shit post" i need help from normies

WHAT THE FUCK I POSTED THIS LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO

WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT, YANK??

(lol imagine being so sad you go to the archives and reuse posts).

Just be yourself.

the eu was a force for good in the UK

now you'll all feel the wrath of enmity with the worlds largest economy

completely FUCKED for uni housing next year

probs going to have to live with some utter dregs who also couldnt find private housing

jby

...

good night lads x

it's only december

>Homes outside London are the worst affected by what the Royal Institute of British Architects (RIBA) attacked as “rabbit hutch” homes after it measured a sample of new homes on 100 developments.

Where is that paki who last week claimed that London was responsible for skewing the data regarding the average size of the UK home?

You just don't like them and don't have anything in common with them

I'm quiet around most people, yet a loud confident prick among my mates

Just get fucking drunk you mong

>Your age
>your income (including NEET feed)

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1481149421552.webm

shant

London has large/average homes

All the flats are normal sized too, just extremely expensive

22
16k

I do, it doesn't help at all

it's funny because the so called successful one isn't even an MP

>trump effect
FOYs it's the brexit effect

>23
>2kpa from investments, 3.5k maintenance loan, mummy gives me about 2k

Lel

I thought this but then some lad decided to move to Australia. In the end it probably didn't work out that well because I ended up trapped with a bunch of people who although I liked, really had nothing in common with and it basically drove me mental until I almost killed myself experimenting with drugs

I questioned a Red Cross bloke in MK once about where the money goes, ended up having a political discussion with him for quite a while, he was basically saying how the UK is overpopulated and immigration is a problem lel, wasn't expecting that from a red cross person.

Houses in London are smaller than houses outside London this is a fact you stupid nigger

22
32k

When I was 10 my Dad was 26.

No you mong I declined the offer and that was the end of the conversation

22
58k, plus juicy expenses

font

holy shit lads
i'm literally leaving
bye all

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1481149421552.webm

7.5k pa isn't good money m8. get a job ?

white people are liplets and manlets at the same time lol

jews did this

what do you work as?

22
30k

Jelly of the lad above

everyone's already doing house viewings and got their plans sorted though. prats who live in my flat have decided to go together, without even consulting me. i haven't even been antisocial, i do like them but i guess im too much for them :)))))

NEED a Swabian gf

>tfw to smart to earn over 20k

>there are people in this thread right now who would literally lick a girls arsehole

pathetic

oh shit yeah you're right, i earn about 4k every summer from working

+ im a student obviously (maintenance loan)

Can the lad who gets upset about the civil service fast stream please reply to this post.

I want to understand why y0ou get so upset.

foundation year lad
is there big competition for these? is it sort of like a safety net then

only oldfags will get this!!!!!!!!!!

work meal/night out on saturday
not sure if i can do it lads

>tfw i work in a quiet office and spend all day reading books in a word document so everyone thinks I'm working.

hahaha hella yeah my dude that's how a sick fuking psychopath would do it! welcome to the club bro!!

*slams puppy against wall and covers hand in blood*

time to teach u the psychopath handshake

haha that's me

I wash dishes for a living

>45 posts in

>not a single devvo reference

for shame /brit/

23

18300

just finished uni though and on a paid internship atm while living at home for a year so still more money than ive ever had in my life

gonna try stash most of it away for next year

I've had my arsehole tongued before. Feels great but I'd never do it to anyone else.

have a can of kestrel then i kick the jannys head in

licking girls bumholes is kinda nice imo

Niggers tongue my anus

22
About £10000.

...

Trump is an obese man in his 70s

How the fuck do us yanks expect him to run a country for potentially nearly a decade without randomly dying?

Mind you, Clinton is about to be in her 70s and she was actually collapsing because of her illnesses. And Bernie always looks like he's on the verge of death

fucking hell why do us yanks want geriatrics to lead them

You lads ever get the urge to just lay into someone. And I mean just REALLY fucking lay into someone and hurt them just to get rid of all that aggression.

A lot of the time I just get so worked up and I just want to kick the fuck out of someone, anyone one just to feel good.

Wish I could do this.

I work at a computer farm so people can see what I'm doing.

21
16k

not really sure, i seemed to get in easy enough, and the rest of my classmates did too. youd easily be able to get into a worse uni thats for sure. funnily enough i got the idea from my mum who did a degree as a mature student, and she had no qualifications whatsoever, literally just applied and got accepted, but that was at a worse uni, and maybe thats because she was old.

on a 32k salary, can't afford rent and bills

Literally me. Work full time still barely on 10k a year.

i like dogs though, im not trying to be le two sides of me or anything, i dont think theres anything wrong with me

im sure she was just being facetious anyway

the gf and I

had a tranny prostitute do it to me

then she bumdered me

>tfw work in a packed office surrounded my middle aged women constantly nattering away with the worlds shittest banter

mental that this ugly fucker can get a gf and i cant haha

gerontocracy is the mark of a dying empire lad, happened to us and the commies, happening to you now

unironically messaging my English teacher from school (she was 25 and training when i was in year 11) and being quite flirty with her. She's replying with x's. fucking mad

Burn that shirt lad

56
14k

Married bloke did it to me when I was 18

that's his co star tbf

just gotta be urself

Jealous of talented people desu

Know this is a joke but if you think about it there is probably some poor sod living this life

14
£56k

Yeah, it is my Granddad.

gf just sent me this

might keep this gimmick up every once in a while

looks like he has little nazi symbols on it

>when you see old blokes working in supermarkets stacking shelves or on the tills

STUPID

DUMB

NORMIE

SCUM

WHEN

I WAS AT SCHOOL

>56 year old grandad

Know this is a joke but if you think about it there is probably some poor sod living this life

is your gimmick pretending to have gimmicks but never posting it and only posting meta gimmick posts?
because that's my gimmick

hmm

they used to treat me like a fool

>my desk at work is positioned in such a way so that anyone who comes into our office can see exactly what im doing on my computer
>also conveniently positioned so that my back is directly to the door of my boss' office
>try slack off reading articles, leddit etc but constantly have to minimise my tab every 30 seconds

/brit/ is a normie general

FILTHY

FUCKING

TWATS

I'm close in reality.

I'm 22.

My parents are 38.

My Grandparents are 57,59 and 62 and 63.

My gimmick is pretending that I have a VERY under the radar gimmick that only a few people recognise

hmm no mines a bit more autistic. driving one lad crazy already

Most of those are just old retirees who got bored