How the fuck are you supposed to fill 35 hours a week with job searching? What the hell kind of hax do you faggots use?!

How the fuck are you supposed to fill 35 hours a week with job searching? What the hell kind of hax do you faggots use?!

I went outside. and fucked around in town.

For 35 hours?

Yeah, man.

Worth a try I guess, cheers. Still open to more ideas f anyone has any?

There really isn't much to it.

>Wake up at 10 because fuck actually doing 35 hours
>Do your actual job search
>Go into town
>See where the day takes you.
Most of the time I just sat around and played chess with strangers.

Don't they ask you for proof of jobs you applied for etc?

Yeah, that's what the actual job search is for.
And even then my case manager back then was chill as fuck.

Been signing on in the UK for like 2 years. No one has ever asked me for proof. MFW

So if you did the job search why bother going out into town at all?

Kill time, play chess, see what happens, keep some semblance of a sleep schedule

Fair enough. My advisor is a bitch, she'll demand proof of the whole 35 hours

I've been signing on for 5 years. I haven't applied for a single job bcuz I already have one. Yeah, they never ask for proof, at least in my part of the UK

Then you better get your fat ass into town.

East of England amiright homie

Are you guys on Universal Credit or JSA?

Nah, its a small town in NI

I'm not even in the UK.

Oh my mistake, east of England is a shithole. Wish I could leave man :(

How's the job/housing market in UK?

How much do you guys get for unemployement in the UK?

£317 a month

>Claim you have depression
>get put on esa
>never have to look for jobs
>get pip
>get £160 a week
>live life as a free man with free money.

I get 112 poundies a fortnight. I'm 20 and have no health problems.

Who is She?

For the lowest its like £50 a week, i'm on esa with pip and get £1000 a month.

But I plan to get a job later in the year, won't they keep me on that forever?

I have been on esa for like 6 years, you can get cured from depression so you can come off it.

That's only 450 or so USD. Not enough for rent in most places, and certainly not rent + utils + food

Roughly 920 USD is a little better, but still not enough to live on. Rents can't be that low in the UK, right?!?!

What so after a few months I just go to the Dr and say "lol I'm cheered up now" and they'll take me off it?

How the hell do benefit cheats get away with it for years??

Pretty bad.

Usually they live in shitty areas where everyone is on disability so the Job Centre just lets them rot.

You can get your rent paid for you, i get my £500 rent paid for me like i have for the past 4+ years.
Yeah play along they don't look into it too much tbh.

been on JSA (job seekers allowance) since 2008 in Ireland. 188 euros per week, rent paid for. Life is pretty sweet. Did a few Internships for about 2 years total (extra 50 on top of your JSA. I also buy and sell articles online so make money from that. Life is sweet. Fuck working 9-5.

>Working
kek

I do what I want, faggot

Own a decent motor do you?
Go on foreign holidays much?
Eat out at decent restaurants much?
Weekends away on the piss with your mates?
Decent clothes on your back?
Self respect?
Respect of others?
Nice home?
Pension fund?

You live like a leech and will die in a shitty council flat having seen and done nothing in your last worthless life.
I'd rather work two jobs than live like dole scrum.

>life is sweet

What a fucking sad tool.

Fuck off does anyone ever get PIP for depression. There that got denied it even though they were missing legs.

everyone knows depression is an excuse user

Esa guy here, i own my own motorbike, flat, don't go on holiday because i don't like flying much, i eat out, go out to the pub to get drink, have good clothes on my back with self respect, only respect whites "no one else deserves it", life is sweet if you make the most of what you have and if people give you money for free then make the most of it.

Lol go fuck yourself, you fucking idiot. I'm on the btw enterprise scheme. starting my own business buying and selling articles. Few years I'm gonna have enough to buy my own home. Don't fucking judge what you know nothing about you fucking imbecile.

I need a sauce!!!

Can you spell Terrorist?

I get a £260 bump at the end of each month from pip like i have for the past two years, right but mental health can impact everyday things missing two legs isn't stopping you from talking to people or going out much.

Yes living in poverty while suckling at the teat of the government sounds very exhilarating

>missing two legs isnt stopping you from going on
Oh thats right, fuck the amputee, your depression is much worse

I worked on the PIP helpline, the fact that you get PIP just goes to show how fucked up the system. Was it Atos or Capita that did your assessment? Also was it a home assessment?

...

To them it must be to get money, also thats what wheelchairs got made for.

Any and everyone on the dole should be shot. Useless freeloading moochers

Right because that totally isnt a hinderance.

thanks for footing the bill, faggot. now get back to work you fucking robot.

At the time i did have severe depression and i had agoraphobia like i still do now, no friends, little reason to live ect ect and i cant remember it was sometime ago.

Are you jelly that people on the dole are more free then you, they get paid to do what ever they want everyday of the week.

How do people like yourself live? the shame would kill me

Well to pip i guess not, to me i would tell them to fuck off and stop making people feel sorry for them.

I can't wait for your reassessment to come up. If you manage to stay on PIP then you're the luckiest muthafucker to be alive.

Working like an indian for chinese pay is a shame to me, you're a slave to your very own survival, you work to survive but in surviving you're wasting your life away in a shitty 9-5 job, hardly a way to live imo.

poverty? lol i live in a nice semi detatched mate. I have steak for dinner most days. thanks for paying. NOW GET BACK TO WORK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO BOWLING IF YOU KEEP SLACKING. FUCKING MONKEY

How normal do they do them ?

As someone how worked at pip what did you normally use to give pip out for ?

>9-5

Just paid off my 17th mortgage. I don't think 9-5 applies to me. I make more in a day than you will in a year.

This and tell us how to fake it.

TODAY ON FAGGOTS THAT LIE

>Just paid off my 17th mortgage
That's really cool bro. Btw my dad works for Nintendo.

Ahh delusions. Bend over for your government buddy, beg for the scraps like a dog.

>I make more in a day than you will in a year.
That's why you have had 17 mortgages, if you made cash like crazy then you would never have had to take a single one out, also i have never had a loan or have ever had to pay anything off monthly either.

But people having depression should totally be coddled

Just fucking lie you idiot

I never was nor still am..i had to deal with it by my self i never went out like begging for help.

I am gonna have a stab at what you tried to say there.

The Reassessments are exactly the same as when first applying, you fill in the PIP2 form then have to go for another assessment at one of the centres unless you get a home visit. Normally it's done about a year before your claim is up.

I never gave PIP to anyone, I just worked on the helpline answering questions. It's a Disability benefit so you need to have a disability to apply, they have a list of questions that get asked and a point scoring system that goes with it. Faking it is hard due to the fact they do face to face assessments and even if you have a legit disability it's still 50/50 to whether you'll actually get it due to how the assessment providers don't give a fuck about there jobs and normally score people really low for no reason. Only way to get it 100% is to have a terminal illness and that requires a DS1500 from the doctor.

I know that you tard but they always want proof.

whats your disability?

When I was signing on, I faked 95% of my applications because their targets were impossible even back then.

Not sure what the penalties would be for getting caught, just don't be a faggot about it and no one will give a shit.

I don't have one, well not serious enough to get PIP. Bit of depression and anxiety maybe I'm a sperg as well but no diagnosis. Like I keep saying I worked on the phone lines answering questions to the customers that rang up.

Mate i had to do this for a bit before i found a job. I had to see the lady once a week. All i did was the day before apply for like 4 jobs and write some notes saying what i did then say i got a call back from like 2 and i am waiting to see what will happe. It was easy as fuck mate. Got a job tho so they are good

god damn, I couldn't think of anything more soul destroying than that.

wtf is this 35hours searching for a job? how you prove you've been searching? wtf? don't you just apply online nowadays lól

LOL. youre the one paying for it, faggot. Now who's bending over?

Back to work. Get that memo typed. You've got my car insurance to pay.

lol at all these faggots on NEET bux thinking they've got it sweet. I'm 22 and make £2k a month working flexible hours, free hotels, free meals + profit from travel expenses (occasionally extra £200 a month). Plus a load in the stockmarket getting me money for nothing.

It's an emotional rollercoaster, one second you'll be on the phone to a really nice customer being glad you can help them, the next you're being shouted at because someone got denied. The worst calls were the ones where people would threaten to commit suicide. Shit was stressful and make my depression and anxiety a hell of a lot worse. Funny thing is me being ill was the reason I got fired.

Just woke up from a glorious lay in, about to rustle up some steak and watch Game of Thrones on my 42 inch HDTV that you paid for.

Thanks for the cheese worker drones. Now get back to work. I need you to earn more so I can uy a car next week =)

Dont forget about your weekly begging meeting. Good doggie now go away boy. Oh we are going to cut back on your check, but doggie doesnt mind, doggie is good right boy? Good now beg!

Now make sure you keep the treat on your nose until the goverment says you can have it, ohh dance as well and shake, good boy!

you must have very low expectations from life if you're happy with the sort of money you get on benefits

Lol I sign on once per month and the money you earn for me goes straight into my bank account. Get back to work, monkey nuts

Oh doggie is happy! Good boy! Dont bite now, or doggie goes into the streets.

Literally just said I've started my own business up there you fucking moron. So what if the government are helping me. And no, /i'm not ashamed. Now fuck off you compassion-less, un-empathetic cunt.

Nice thread.

Can you recommend me a good job agencies in UK?
Right now, I'm looking for a job as a physiotherapy assistant but with no avail.

Here's some tits for motivation.

Get those memos typed fuckwit, while your next door neighbour on bnefits fucks your wife/gf

kek

>Dealing with unemployment offices once a month
>Vs working every day for a similar amount

I understand the sodium content, I'm jelly he gets free money too.

i generally do fuck all untill the day before my meeting then i have a crunch sesh of applying for jobs

racist without a job, hahahaha

the government aren't helping you. all the compassionless un-empathetic cunts are. you should probably be more grateful you little scoundrel

Anyone?

Delusional doggie!
I am in no way salty that some potato head is getting money from the government. I find it funny that he actually thinks he lives well.

ill be living better once you get back to work, faggot

>be depressed amputee
Rake in dat doll money

In Thailand they have a city that's infested with monkeys. They commit a shit tonne of crime, assaulting people, stealing and generally being shits. They worked out that the monkeys are content with very little and that it's actually less costly to just give them a couple of bananas everyday rather than deal with their shit when they get hungry.

Very similar to our benefits system.