Secrets thread. Post your deep dark secrets Sup Forums

Secrets thread. Post your deep dark secrets Sup Forums

When I take a shower, I like to arch my back and position my nostrils directly underneath the center of the waterflow, and suck in. It clears my nose out and it makes my breathing real fresh and easy for the rest of the day, but the catch is I usually vomit a tiny bit.

Smart move user

It's best if you do it while taking a cold shower, if you don't do that already

I always cum into the toilet and half the time i get all over the seat. i clean up but I always fear that my mom will get pregnant whenever she goes to the bathroom.

I spend 60% of my working time to browse the web, lurk Sup Forums
Even now I'm at work.

I'll try it whenever i feel stuffed up.

Same here with my sister, when I was younger and we lived together.
Pro tip: Use some kind of chemical cleaner
>She never got pregnant

My car's mom tried to finger me in the back of my friend

i'm trying to manipulate the police and mental health professionals in my area. i lie to them and use them to watch my son so i can have him arrested or committed. my daughter is helping me. even if found out my lawyer has created enough of an excuse that i can't be found guilty of a crime.

does your mom rub her pussy all over the seat when she goes to the bathroom?
no?

stop worrying.

I do that too. But sometimes I'll shit and piss in the toilet and get horny out of nowhere. So ill just jack my dick off and point my dick downwards and cum in my shit and piss.

Yeah yeah. Good meme faggot. Go to reddit

I post my wife here often without her knowing.

Well post again.

I've helped 3 ex gfs to suck, fuck and get licked by a friends dog

Tell more

Stop with your stupid meme faggot. Go to reddit with that bullshit.

been dating a grill for about 3 years and don't get me wrong I love her to death our relationship is very strong but every man has his urges.

I work with an absolute qt she is always flirting with me, texts me a lot, gives me hugs when I show up to work, this and that. always thought she was hot but I have gf so I never made any moves.

she decided she wanted to come over and play vidya cause I told her about FO4 and how it's really fun. everything is going fine until she puts the moves on me and one thing led to another. and yes I cheated but DAMN tgis girl could suck a mean dick and wasn't shy to say the least. this was about 4 months ago.

I never told ny gf (obviously) and I don't think about it nor do I feel bad about it. I'll prolly never do it again so this was a one time thing.

am I a terrible person Sup Forums?

>newfag taking obvious bait

I'm being serious.
What would you like to know?

well i dont care about that

who do you think you are some kind of super relateable guy who everyone relates to?

>What would you like to know?
go into detail about that shit.

My wife went away last week to visit family, leaving me home alone.

I've been very curious about sucking cock almost my entire life and have been jacking off to gay porn for a number of years now.

I went on squirt dot org the first day she left and I ended up chatting with a guy who only lived a couple of blocks away from me.

The more we talked the hornier I got and we decided to meat in a park so he could suck my dick.

Sure enough I went and he showed up and was very eager to suck me off. However in the middle of the blowjob, I started thinking about sucking his cock more and more and knew that this was my best opportunity to actually try it out for the first time so I pulled my cock out of his mouth and told him that I wanted to suck his cock too so he stood up and I dropped to my knees in front of him and took his cock into my mouth and started blowing him.

I fell in love with cocksucking within seconds of his cock entering me and loved it so much I sucked him off to completion and let him cum in my mouth.

After he came he sucked my dick again and swallowed my load.

I felt guilty about what I had just done and the fact that I had actually sucked another guy off but by the next day these guilty feelings were gone and I wanted to suck another guy off so fucking bad.

I went back on the website and hooked up with another guy, that very next night, and the night after that and the night after that.

Out of the 7 days my wife was away I sucked cock in 6 of them and one night I was so horny I sucked off 2 guys. Over all I sucked off 4 different guys.

My wife is home now but I need to suck cock again so fucking bad and I know that I'm going to continue doing it whenever I can get away from my wife.

is there only one toilet is your house?

Who knows, right?
What if she takes toilet paper to wipe after peeing and accidentally touches the cum stained area?

I hardly doubt that something like that ever happened, but you can't be careful enough when it's about impregnating your mother

>I need to suck cock again so fucking bad
this must be b8 holy kek

story of OPs life.

Since of Mericans of living of an exigency/emergency of a technology so I am of communication of spiel of technology of text of:_"-------\_
Three/3 communications/explanations/informations/texts of a technology:
1/One: body muscle movement caused/since of energies at human caused/since of energies sent from machines far of miles/kilometers;
and/or/an-other-communication of 2/Two: human of technology of machines...machines transmit/send energy...energy at/striked/hitting metals in human...metals moved/arranged...so/causing/thus...electricity of in of body so...body muscle flexing of human of living of tensing/slackening of muscle;
and/or/an-other-communication of 3/Three: STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far/distant/not-close/no-nearness of miles.
_/-------"_:-_
I got/received a text of communication/question/ask of technology of body muscle flexing caused of energies of machines far of miles:_"\_ Everyone knows this already. How do you fix it. _/"_:-_ . I am of communication/answer/reply of letter of word of language of text of:_"\_ Humans of policing/military live of:_[\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles since of brain of body of since of human of living of brain of body of since of sense/sensation of communication/text/speech of computer program software of language of words of anything/everything/eachthing/allthings of human of living of _{-\_[-\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles _/-]_{--\_[--\_ and _/--]_ and _[--\_ or _/--]_/--}_[-\_ flexing of muscles so of living of muscle of nearer and and or farther of muscle _/-]_/-}_/]_:-_/"_:-_ .

I jerked off in front of the window for some thrill but didn't realize until i was done some kid was watching

I've sucked a dude off for 50 bucks for cocaine when i was 15, I've had plenty of casual encounters on Craigslist when i was underage, i raped my aunt when i was 14, also somebody caught me raping my little cousin when i was about 4 or 5 years old. I don't have these urges no more and i dont plan on doing them again.

kill yourself

Why don't you just sit down on the toilet and jack off instead?

No one likes your kind space nigger

I did the same

I pictured it as a , one last time with another girl.

Were married now , 2 kids. Couldnt be greater, I think if I hadn't cheated, worse things would have happened.

I'm obsessed with sexually forbidden taboos and have repressive thoughts of cannibalism.

>I need to suck cock again so fucking bad
what a faggot

Sperm doesn't last long at room temperature/exposed for the most part. That's why your sack keep the temperature so regulated

i'm a post op transgirl, haven't told my last 5 bfs

I want strangers to fap to my sister

I don't know if it will ever catch up to me. the girl hasn't given any more hints towards me and We haven't spoken of it since. I feel like it might've just relieved some sexual tension

ill probably join you fellas, those urges are fucking real man...
i work with a sorta qt and fucking her would be sweet.

Exactly

Don't worry about it man, I dont.

Never left the toilet and another person was already waiting outside?

Same thing with me. Been with my girl for 6years. Worst part was it was my best friends sister...

I've always liked jacking off in places where I could be seen as well and have jacked off in front of the window many times.

Sometimes I'll jack off in my backyard or in the bushes in front of my house.

Other times I'll go to parks or schoolyards and strip off all of my clothes and walk around in the nude for a while before jacking off as well.

>where I could be seen
And? Have you ever been seen?

the urge was way too immense to fight it. now come to think of it I probably wouldn't have don't this with any other girl I know. this one was an incredible exception. this girl has some very fine qualities to her. she wasn't just some sloot yknow?

maybe think about that and you could decide wether you really want to or not.

I'm obsessed with a man that I haven't seen in 8 years, and I only knew him for three months

I'm so sorry

That must suck. You must suck. What kinda guy was he?

Yes

An old man out walking his dog caught me completly naked and jacking off in a park late at night once and I ended up sucking his dick and he sucked mine.

done.
tell her to come clean me up faggot

Good for you user. I sit back and think about all the pussy i could've gotten and it makes my balls throb in pain. If theres pussy in front of you you better take it or you'll regret it later.

oh lord. only on Sup Forums

knew some german guy from here as a teen and we used to trade pics and stories and shit and jack off together on cam. he said he attended college at a nearby location to his house and there was a high school attached, and there would be girls who'd walk by and he'd sit in the woods and jack off because he liked that shit

said one time there were girls who caught him jacking it and walked down the hill to him and just asked him what he was doing. didn't answer. so they moon him and one slaps her ass and he cums immediately, and falls down the remainder of the hill by accident

>ended up sucking his dick
Didn't expect anything else.

He was a staff member at the juvie I was in when I was 12. He always seemed like he was into me and I've never gotten over it.

What's your secret?

When I was in my mid teens, I was a horny little bastard. I ended up giving and receiving blow jobs from four other boys varying from 12 to 16.

Once I got my first taste of pussy though, I couldn't go back. I only fuck girls now, but I fuck them in public places where I can get caught. It replaces the thrill of being sexual with boys.

What are you talking about

I'm a man jackass.

I've cheated on nearly every test in college.

I can't take it anymore... The media portrays me as an outcast for my beliefs. All my friends and family have left me alone. Everyone I try to talk to immediately turns their back on me when they find out what my true thoughts are. I can't talk to anyone besides you Sup Forumsros. Not sure what the outcome will be but I can't hold it in forever...

Guys...

I can believe it's not butter

Why not just be gay? Or was it the fact they were little boys that got you off?

I'm only sexually attracted to boys significantly younger than me, and I'm 21

I actually sucked off 7 different friends before I was 13 years old. I had also fucked one girl and fingered 6 other girls

I was 14 at the time, so I was a young boy too. It was more of the take what I could get situation. I wasn't getting anything with girls, and I was horny.

Now that I get girls, I don't want guys anymore.

why are you trying to get him committed or arrested?

Being horny and young was crazy, wasn't it? I'm impressed though.

this gave me the mightiest kek

>replaces the thrill of being sexual with boys

Wouldn't have gone with those words then user. A lot of guys get gay with each other when they're younger and then move on

my secret is im in love with op. i want to bend that faggot over and have my way with his loose butthole over and over like if he was my prison bitch.

I fucked my friends wife last week pic related that's her

i once dated a grill too..it was got rather..heated at times. which is why i left.

Fair enough. By thrill, it was just the feeling of doing something that was generally accepted as wrong. That's not the case so much anymore though.

Oh I get ya now that's fair enough

i've cheated on my husband multiple times while he's deployed. it's cliche as fuck and i feel horrible about it.

I only masturbate to furry porn

Fucking why?

You should you're a shitty human

Oh wait nevermind. I know what you mean. I fell for a few guys in my time. Mostly when I was a teen browsing 'boards like this

First there was this schizophrenic guy who called himself Darius. I was 16 and he was 22 or so at the time, and we both pretty much were total loners who preferred spending time on the computer reading up on shit in our free time. We'd trash each other intermittently in between browsing sessions, and the only real reason we were online buddies was because, well, we'd never met anyone so alike to one another ever before. In personality, it was like we were not individuals but of strikingly similar, freakishly the same temperament. I ended up meeting him on second life much later but we just told each other to fuck off. I really liked that guy

Another was a user on here about the same time. Called himself Alice. I think he still does threads here. Probably legitimately one of the smartest people I've ever talked to at some length over a period of time. He had a way with words that was just amazing to me. Alice rode the line for me at that age bullshit and truth, and I legitimately couldn't tell. That was what made me like him. Always seemed busy, and I couldn't really hold a conversation with him anyway, but sort of a majestic creature I never could quite understand or reach. I think I could probably hold a conversation with him now though

I got over those two as I matured, but I'll always remember them. This occurred from about 2007-2011, and I'm in my mid-20's now, so I've developed a little since then. Good luck

I cup the water with my hands and "breathe" that in. Way less prone to gagging.

Why not just fuck a wine bottle? Jesus

it had to be a dare

It was fucking amazing! Always the chance of being caught by our parents and like were were doing something terribly bad made it so fucking thrilling.

i know

sexual lust changes people

Why be with someone you want to cheat on?

100% with you on that. The only thing I've done that got close to that feeling was fucking a girl in the university library during exams week. I love that feeling

i don't want to. i want to be with him. but he's not here. he'll be back in july.

Fair enough, I know what you mean.

If my boyfriend has a friend I don't like, I manipulate that friend to lash out on me, usually in a very violent way or by means of harassment, so that he will stop hanging out with them. He still doesn't know, and I feel terrible everyday over it.

Since of Mericans of living of an exigency/emergency of a technology so I am of communication of spiel of technology of text of:_"-------\_
Three/3 communications/explanations/informations/texts of a technology:
1/One: body muscle movement caused/since of energies at human caused/since of energies sent from machines far of miles/kilometers;
and/or/an-other-communication of 2/Two: human of technology of machines...machines transmit/send energy...energy at/striked/hitting metals in human...metals moved/arranged...so/causing/thus...electricity of in of body so...body muscle flexing of human of living of tensing/slackening of muscle;
and/or/an-other-communication of 3/Three: STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far/distant/not-close/no-nearness of miles.
_/-------"_:-_
I got/received a text of communication/question/ask of technology of body muscle flexing caused of energies of machines far of miles:_"\_ Everyone knows this already. How do you fix it. _/"_:-_ . I am of communication/answer/reply of letter of word of language of text of:_"\_ Humans of policing/military live of:_[\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles since of brain of body of since of human of living of brain of body of since of sense/sensation of communication/text/speech of computer program software of language of words of anything/everything/eachthing/allthings of human of living of _{-\_[-\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles _/-]_{--\_[--\_ and _/--]_ and _[--\_ or _/--]_/--}_[-\_ flexing of muscles so of living of muscle of nearer and and or farther of muscle _/-]_/-}_/]_:-_/"_:-_ .

Don't feel too bad, it's clear that your boyfriend is retarded to let that happen.

Well I have always had a thing for her we got drunk and I told her I always wanted to fuck her she said here's your chance and I took it

Get some fucking sex toys to please you til he arrives... But it's too late now you fucking whore. Now show us your tits just like you showed it to those other men you fucked or get the fuck out

There's something wrong with you

Don't call it manipulate

>i don't want to

Look honey no one does something they don't want to do unless they're forced to. You ever actually talked to him about your sexual frustrations rather than sleep with someone behind his back?

If you've had a thing for "her", I can only imagine how fucking ugly you must be

kek

How odd, I'm back in July as well from deployment....does your name start with an A by chance ?

yes i have

i have toys and they do not compare to a man

>Drinking with friends on the road in the middle of the night. It was quite and no one was around.
> A taxi pulls up, the driver walks into a public bathroom.
> Notice that there is a barlock on the outside of the door.
> Snake up to the door, carefully listening to the other side.
> Slide the bar shut, locking him inside.

> We all bolt and never return.

I don't get what's wrong with her?