ITT we tell the stories of our favorite D&D characters.
>Half orc fighter
>Proficiency in polearms
>polearm master and sentinel perk
>uses superiority dice to knock motherfuckers over if they get within 10 feet of me
>they're prone now so triple attack with advantage
>rinse wash and repeat
Eventually fought in a battle where I just stood in one place and wrecked.
What's he's name?
*his.
Pardon me
Dont rightly remember. I think like Krusk or something
You should totally pick up the sentinel feat at lvl 8 if you're looking for a tank based orc fighter!
Another one of mine:
>Half Elf Warlock chick named Tanya
>Used mage armor, +5 dex modifier and pact of the blade to give myself 18 AC and a rapier out of literally nothing
>Also alter self spell
>disguised myself as a old granny and invaded peoples lives, ruining them.
>whenever people decided to fight back, i became a tank
Man, that character was plan A AND plan B
Yeah when I said perk, I meant feat.
Been playing too much fallout.
Kek.
I suppose it was a chatotic PC right?
Well I did understand you so it doesn't matter
There's in my party an arcane trickster rogue who does the exact granny trasformation thing and when he rolls it it's top kek tier
actually, i tried playing around with stretching the rules of lawful Evil. I abided by a strict doctrine but it was one that let me fuck shit up.
Little bit off topic but has anyone tried the Magic the Gathering setting they released? Looks interesting to be a kor I wanna build a lithomancer but have no idea how this will work...
>BBEG is a female elven ranger
>My PC is a half orc barbarian
>she tries to throw a fuckton of arrows at me
>my AC deflects every. single. one.
>My PC eventually reaches her and picks her up by the collar
>Tells her "Go home"
>she fucking wets herself and leaves
and thats how i saved the druid's forest.
Didn't hear of it until now. Is it good?
I haven't tried it out yet, they give you basic stats of the races and some info, it's called Plane Shift Zendikar I believe I'm fairly new to DnD so I was wondering how to go about this as my friend is running it as our next campaign
>playing 4th ed
>no healer
>ok.jpg
>rolled a warlord to shout healing at people
>int/cha build
>dapper as fuck
>couldnt do shit for damage but spent each combat knocking the fuck out of mobs and sending them across the battlefield into traps/off cliffs/positions where we keep getting advantage
>2 year campaign went from level 1 to 30
>never needed a healer because id shout my comrades better
He was pretty much the exact character as my Captain in LotRO, good times
I'm currently gamemastering a brutal crusaders campaign with 5e rules but a Pathfinder campaign setting feel (Worldwound and shit)
I use the madness rules in DMG and some stress ones I made based on Darkest Dungeon. If you understand spanish I could publish them here
Since of Mericans of living of an exigency/emergency of a technology so I am of communication of spiel of technology of text of:_"-------\_
Three/3 communications/explanations/informations/texts of a technology:
1/One: body muscle movement caused/since of energies at human caused/since of energies sent from machines far of miles/kilometers;
and/or/an-other-communication of 2/Two: human of technology of machines...machines transmit/send energy...energy at/striked/hitting metals in human...metals moved/arranged...so/causing/thus...electricity of in of body so...body muscle flexing of human of living of tensing/slackening of muscle;
and/or/an-other-communication of 3/Three: STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far/distant/not-close/no-nearness of miles.
_/-------"_:-_
I got/received a text of communication/question/ask of technology of body muscle flexing caused of energies of machines far of miles:_"\_ Everyone knows this already. How do you fix it. _/"_:-_ . I am of communication/answer/reply of letter of word of language of text of:_"\_ Humans of policing/military live of:_[\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles since of brain of body of since of human of living of brain of body of since of sense/sensation of communication/text/speech of computer program software of language of words of anything/everything/eachthing/allthings of human of living of _{-\_[-\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles _/-]_{--\_[--\_ and _/--]_ and _[--\_ or _/--]_/--}_[-\_ flexing of muscles so of living of muscle of nearer and and or farther of muscle _/-]_/-}_/]_:-_/"_:-_ .
Didn't read you shitposting faggot
>never needed a healer because id shout my comrades better
This is a d&d thread, not payday 2.
>human monk
>Blind and naked
>kleptomaniac
>prone to acting without thinking
>my party constantly tries to ditch me because naked and thief
Senpai please, don't be that guy...
we are all that guy
this triggered my minstrel flashback to helegrod
Inspiring Word = Russian national anthem playing while they roll their healing surge
Spiders... motherfuckin spiders everywhere
not me but...
>friend plays as rouge
>DM starts the game off in an inn
>Very first FUCKING thing he does is find the most threatening-looking guy in the tavern
>goes up to him and crouches next to him
>dude ignores him at first
>sticks his tongue out
>ohgodno.jpeg
>starts trying to lick him
>finally the dude freaks out and draws his sword, friend finally leaves him alone
> walks out of the tavern and draws the dude getting fucked in the ass in the dirt outside the tavern
It was kinda funny at first, but he would not leave this fucking guy alone. he derailed the entire plot because he kept on forcing us to follow him and fuck with him. eventually the dude got the upper hand and carved him into deli sliced halfling...
Dafuq? Is your friend retarded or somethin?
we weren't even drunk yet.
please no ... i still have nightmares about the drake wing when people started stepping on eggs
>halfling
>rogue
Nigga was either a hobbit or nuttier than squirrel shit
Pleb tier play focused on mechanics and manipulation of them to game the system. Practically zero actual character information or development. Especially the 2 year campaign that didn't have anything more important to focus on than "I USED MY WARLORD POWERS THAT I HAD BECAUSE I WAS A WARLORD".
consider the fact that we may be paraphrasing or not giving all of the information.
Careful user this isnt /tg/ and your autism is showing
Ill provide a full 955 page report of every word spoken and every die roll ever made on your desk by monday
>rolled a character using the rulebook
>played adventure modules
Go read every rulebook and adventure module and you have everyones story
Nigga you went full retard here
>playing stormbringer
>rolled a motherfucking 1 for race
>melnibonean fuck yeah
>was superior to every other member of the party
>more stats that the rest of the part combined
>servant demons galore
>first day of playing trying to cross a swamp
>i slip, 00 on the mishap table
>roll again 97
>break both legs and suffer major brain damage
>lose all my dex and half my pow
>cant control my bound demons and they escape
>party takes my items
>albino-paraplegic-vegetable.exe
Best game ever
HUHUHUEHEHUE
...
NPC - 3.0 campaign
Ghuar, Snirfvneblin cleric of Ghaunadaur
( God of slime, ooze, death, decay)
-Grey gnome orphan child grows up in streets of underdark city, grows cruel living on unwashed fringes of cruel society
-hears The Calling at 16. Walks miles through endless caverns, hypnotized, finds dark powers that called him
-returns changed. Grown to human-size (permanent Enlarge) and wears Amulet of Ooze-Riding. Has embraced his life of filth and become Cleric of Ghaunadaur
-rises within Underdark community, grows powerful and influential
-Betrayed in a coup, his temple ransacked, his city turned to another evil deep deity
>sometimes, a dark God marks a particularly zealous and useful follower to serve him even after death, granting undeath in exchange for their service as a Death Knight
Ghuar, the Slime Knight, rises.
One day we decided to fuck around
>Play in a party consisting of 4 bards
>(more like a BARDy amirite huehue)
> go into a town and pretend to not know each other
>eventually get into positions of some renown
>we start a "feud" between the four of us
>split the town four ways
>eventually use charismatic powers to turn the town to violence against the 3 other factions
>7 days.
>7 days of bloodshed
>90 percent of the town dead
>the rest either wounded or fled long ago
We did this like 4 more times before we hit the capital city. the fucking king didn't know what hit him
BOW BEFORE THE ALPHA NERD
>Bob the barbarian dwarf
>alpha as fuck uses two great axes
>@lvl15 group kills a dragon
>use hardcore craft skill to make my own dragon armour shaped like an egg
>can now defensively turtle in dragon shell egg armour
>next game crew is hunting down cult for king
>group investigates and beats up a member at the tavern
>his pocket book said they need female royal sacrifice to summon uber demon
>group splits some protect princess, Bob leads team to find cult lair
>find them, other team fucked up princess is going to be sacrificed
>fuckingdumshits.jpg
>fighting cult but can't win fast enough
>they open portal!
>demon is coming out
>starts consuming princess energy but nothing happens
>needed virgin sacrifice...
>team mate fucked princess...
>demon is vulnerable!!
>Bob goes uber rage and attacks demon with special paladin blade that I can't remember where I got it from.
>demon defeated, princess is safe, cult is dead
>demon spirit possesses bob
>Bob becomes uber demon and invincible with +30 stats whenever near death
>fuck yeah
>play as Steve the poor elf rogue with nothing
>start job for wizard and he gives Steve a donkey cart
>only possession, very proud, very protective, highly obsessed
>asks DM about condition of cart every 30 seconds
>DM fills with rage
>has meteorite hit cart destroying everything in heaping smouldering pile
>DM had cherished NPC inside cart when it happened.
Mfw
Now I have a high-level Cleric with death and slime domain (slime power - ooze form 1/day for 1 round)
-Undead
-all these long-range death spells
-Rides around inside a gelatinous cube, impervious to attacks while it lives
-cube fucks enemies up anyway
-casts line of sight spells through transparent cube
-Snirfvneblin Spell Resistance
-Death knight gets undead followers, loads up on skeletal bats (flying, good speed paralysis bite)
-paralyzed foes dissolved in cube
-can squeeze in any opening
- wields Lance of wounding (x2 damage from charging cube, leaves bleeding wounds that stack) right through the cube
-cube has slowest speed; its always charging
-finally kill the cube and he's still got all his close-range death magic
-including death touch from domain - no save if below 1d6/level HP
>First things first, Ghaur goes back and dissolves (literally) his home village
>becomes roaming agent of evil and chaos, directed by evil God to create death wherever most effective
>eventually becomes enforcer of Rel Astra (major metropolis) Assassin's Guild
and its in this capacity he encounters and probably slaughters my PCs
>Be monk
>lvl 20
>posesses legendary control over body
>maximum disciprine.
> group of 3 easy-peasy bandits break into dojo
>Monk tries to do a frontflip over, land in a split, and punch their crotch out
>rolls a 17 on the flip, succeeds
>rolls for the split landing
>1
> DM is an anal motherfucker and decides that the monk tore both hamstrings
> bandits ransack the place while the monk sobs in agony
>play Gronak the elf assassin killer of kings
>hired to kill the king's advisor
>old man, blind, crippled
>easy money
>sneak in undetected
>target in site
>role sneak attack
>roll 1, botch
>guards heard sneeze And massive fart. Rush the room
>jump out window. Roll 20
>fuckyeah.mp3
>try again, same result. Botch and perfect 20
>this happens 3 times....
>killed kings, ork chiefs, and huge monsters
>can't kill blind cripple
Stories like this make me feel like a better DM. Not to sound smug and preachy, but I would never put players through that kind of direct "deus ex machina" manipulation
To me, as a DM, Im basically 95% reactive. The PCs dictate the game theyre interested in playing, and if Im having fun with that too great. If not I'd ratjer just not play than have external, unpredictable, immutable events happen that change the game to what I want yo play
Half the fun of 1st and 2nd ed was "if you are not a wizard or cleric you pretty much fail anything thay days (save vs) sure you are a level 20 fighter but you still have a 50% chance of just flat out dying if that 3 hit dice giant centepede bites you
This.
It's part of why I enjoy the "Fate" system so much, it's practically built around the concept of "I'm gonna wing it" And improvised story telling. that's half the fun of being a DM.
>superiority dice
>advantage
Why don't you play a good edition, you faggot.
i've got a story that will make you feel like a better DM.
>its his first time.
> I give him the guide and tell him to come up with a plot, a setting and the environment.
>he completely ignores everything
here a just a few fucking bullshit moves he pulled on me
>My character was a girl, and literally every single character
>EVERY
>SINGLE
>ONE
>none of them were like "Halt citizen" or "how can I help you ma'am" or "gimme your money bitch"
>every single one demanded i do an ERP with them or they'd turn hostile.
> i refused a guard and he instakilled me, no dice roll or nothing
>i refused an old lady and she turned into a fucking dragon
>I refused a random ass dude and he lit a small fire which destroyed the entire town
Fucking christ it was annoying.
1st session was basically me crit failing four times and almost dying. my second session, i got a crit on a skeleton that we knew was like SECONDS from death. anyway.
>"i thrust my tergid dragon cock at the skeleton."
>"roll for damage."
>"i don't REALLY use my cock"
>"yes you do, user. roll a d4 for damage."
>"it's a DRAGON cock. i'm 8ft tall. it's got spikes or something, right?"
>"...1d6 damage, then."
wound up defining my character.
Meh. 5th edition had some cool ideas.
As it stands, my D&D group plays almost exclusively pathfinder, but with the addition of advantage dice. If you get anything larger than +2, it's advantage, saves so much time for people who can't count on fingers and toes.
well excuuuuuuuuuuse me.
how nerdy are dnd players?
ive always wanted to play and theres a comic book store close by that hosts games and stuff. if i walk in will i be able to have actual conversations or will i encounter a bunch of anti social people who can only speak in some weird oricsh language?
>Crit on a skeleton
>CRIT
>ON A SKELETON
Please.
I dont play with anyone I dont know. Every time I tried it's always "NGUHH YOU'RE DOING EVERYTHING WRONG"
it hurt more than every other failure i'd gotten in the past two days
>NGUHH YOU'RE DOING EVERYTHING WRONG
exactly what i was thinking.
depends really
in that scenario, depending on your area, you have a high chance of meeting some spergs
but my brothers, my friends and I play and we're all pretty regular. Normal chill and smoke kind of people, good conversationalists
dafuq is a sperg?
asperger
How dense are football players?
I've always wanted to play and there's a football club nearby that hosts monthly games. If I walk in will I be able to have actual conversations, or will I encounter a bunch of brain dead chads who can only communicate in grunts and shrieks?
are you trying to offend me. i dont even like football lol.
I have a story that'll make you feel like a good DM.
>I'm Literally a commoner.
>The NPC Class, Commoner.
>My companions are a paladin, a Shugenja, and a warlock, but I? I am just a simple fisherman.
>I don't live a life of adventure,
>I simply fish.
>One day in bar.
>Pirates walk up and recruit.
>"ok I am man of sea, I join yes."
>Better pirate than these scumbags immediately thanks to all my professions
>Ransack ship, find captain and baby in mysterious magical steel box.
>Take Both, They're are both mine now.
>Be one-ransacked ship later, need to level up.
>Take level in fighter, learn from ship bad-ass
>Next session find out captain(now hostage) is a slaver.
>I don't like slavers.
>Challenge slaver to honor duel.
>400 lb overweight man barely capable of running, who is a MERCHANT, chooses his weapon.
>Fucking Great-Axe.
>"I rolled a critical", says the DM, but he doesnt let anyone see.
>"Whatever, I'm dead."
>Die.
>Be brought back next session by mysterious ressurection.
>Whatever.
>Fast-forward a few weeks.
>Umberlee herself, the god, appears on our ship to take coffin-baby.
>Shugenja nat 20's his will-save to resist instant sleep, wakes me up because i'm most badass.
>I fight god.
>I die.
>My level 3 fighter died to a major god.
No, it's a joke. I wouldn't worry about them sperging out, buddy.
Been playing with a regular core group with others coming and going for the last 18 years, all good people
It depends
You might want to take your oblivious 80's perception of D&D players and keep it home. they might look like spergs but they'll probably look at you the same way if you're a total dipshit
i have one experience with comic book people.
i was in highschool and skating around town with some friends and remembered how someone told me this comic book store sold skateboard parts and such. so we went to check it out and when we walked in there was a huge group of cosplayers there that all simultaneously looked up and stared at us as if we where some alien species. we stared back with the same look, i had never seen or heard of cosplaying before and was completely freaked out. one of them said "what are you doing here?" to which we replied we where looking for a skateshop. they let us know there was no such thing in that shop and stared us down til we left.
i dont want this to happen again.
Then stop being a beta cuck. You were scared, apprehensive even, of other people? LET ALONE NECKBEARD WEEBS?
ITT: faggots that think 4th edition is fun
i wasnt scared or anything. it was just a sense of not belonging. like i didnt understand them.
nigga 3.0
...
So you were scared. You know that feeling you get, when you want to quickly get away from something, because you don't understand it, or what it's going to do?
It's called fear. You're a pussy.