ITT: We come up with powers and Sup Forums limits your power

ITT: We come up with powers and Sup Forums limits your power.

Ill start
I can turn into a plane, it can be any plane.

It'll crash with no survivors

kek

Also i can teleport anywhere

>teleport anywhere.

Yeah teleport anywhere that is more than 90% muslim lel

The power of hawt men errywhar

It can be anywhere, you just dont have any control over where you go.

>Hey jim can you go get beer?
>Sure let me just teleport to the store
>NOPE, you teleport to fucking saturn

My dick can turn into a drill

But no items with you including clothes.

It can only turn counter clockwise. It's sharpened to go in clockwise.

I can move at extreme speeds

only with your eyes closed.

You can only go north.

I have control over gravity

But when you do, you turn into a nigger

I can breathe

friction causes your skin too peal off

Laseer eys for me!

You can't turn them off.

rocks your can breathe rocks

But you can only breathe through your asshole

i can speak fluent in any language without consequence

I am spider man

I can breathe underwater

You have literal eyes made of lasers

I can build walls of any size made out of any material instantly.

but the web only shoots out of your peehole.

You get your head bitten off after sex

you have swear word tourettes

but you are a fish
but you are a spider who thinks he's a man

but only if there's enough mexicans on the other side.

...but they come out of your ass, slowly.
It is painful but never permanently damages

You only can speak languages you know 1000 words at minimum (isn't a consequence it's a condition)

I know everything. I'm omniscient

I can shapeshift

knowing your relative effect on the universe and the day that you will die keeps you in debilitating depressed states for your entire life

Only into niggers or traps

But only into child toys

I can shit at any time i want, any consistency i want, and any size i want

He'd know a way to deal with that since he is omniscient.

The power of getting dubs, please.

he'd be too debilitated to actually follow through with it

Kek
I've been depressed my whole life

But you cant wipe your butthole

Your shit sings "Kung Fu Fighting" for 90 minutes straight after dropping out of your anus.

You only can get dubs in get threads

I can get dubs anywhere

Everyone trusts me 100%

But only in games

You can only get dubs while jerking off.
>also, check 'em

He just need to see life as a game

Whatever I think happens irl

But everyone still wants to kill you.

I can shit out solid gold turds.

You have to be touching what is currently the ground.

Okay. Maybe I can only get dubs in get threads, now.
R.I.P.

I can move at the speed of time.

I'm jerking off right now
Check em

But they explode when in contact with oxygen

You don't exist, you don't think.

I can control the probability of any outcome including situations

But you have an extra organ which produces gold, it takes years to form a 23lb brick and you carry it around like you're pregnant. Also you need to consume 5 times as much water and food, and you are prone to heart attacks as the organ is right under the heart. One hard bump and it's curtains.

I have ultra fast reflexes

If you get a blackjack your dick falls off.

The probability of activating your powers are 1/1000000000 and u can't control it

Good mental health.

Everything i say appears as "speech bubbles"

>inb4 stupid super power

I know, everything said is common. I wanted to change it up.

Jokes on you: I have no real life anyways.

wings installed backwards.
as long as you can see where you a porting too
but your actually not a faggot.
that weighs 2 tons.
but only when your high on meth....
but only when there are no other gravitational poles within a light year of yourself. (still really fucking usefull)
but only in mexico
before he was bitten
in fish tanks
only while looking at pictures of men ejaculating.
as long as you have 100 mexicans working simultaniously
but have given up your corporeal form, and can no longer communicate with corporeal beings.
into Sup Forums's collective dildo
no regulations.
fail
fail more
because your a sociopath.
your an emo kid
they each weigh 6 tons and there is no medical procedure to repair your asshole.
...... >at the speed of time.
you mean microwave time right?
while running backwards on a treadmill in a gay gym


>i can squirt Tabasco sauce out of my eyeball.

Shitty physical health

I have the power of explosions

Time is accelerated at 20000x times

while masturbating.

He can control it dumbass

rectally.

But your eye squirts out at the same time.

>you mean microwave time right?
No I mean I can move at the speed at which time advances, but consciously.

You aren't immune to explosions.

>Everything i say appears as "speech bubbles"
when they pop, you forget what you said.

I shit money

I have the power to make jet fuel melt steel beams

Kek

so..... like... you can walk around?

only pennies come out

>because you're a sociopath
If at all this adds to my super power of everyone trusting me. That's basically the perfect human.

ABANDON THREAD!

I have the ability to turn seconds into microwave time.

i can fold a piece of paper 9 times

Only while holding a bowl of macaroni and cheese

no.... that wasn't a stipulation.

im saying you are a sociopath.

Well yeah, but at the speed of time. When I activate my power I can travel at the rate at which time advances no matter where I am in the world, but when my powers aren't active I just walk around normally because time is carrying me along.

It's not rocket science user.

PLEASE SEE

all microwaves you encounter dont have a custom button and pressing a number will only time x about of minutes

A highly functional one.

but your finger have to deal with excruciating pain

...

Arent we all?

I can grow hair on the inside of my eye lids.

they can become susceptible to lice

The hairs grow on the back of scorpions.

TIME HAS NO SPEED.......
time is relative based on a personal trajectory when influenced by a gravitational force (im drunk this isnt the real definition)

time has no speed i think your thinking of light.

>am i being hurrdedurred?

irreversible

I can build and immunity to anything, even my limits within seconds.


LIMIT ME FGT

i am not.
most are. still doesnt change the fact you lack empathy.

No, god damn it user. Think of it in terms of standing in a river. When you move downstream you are actively moving down stream. That is my power, I can move with the current with no resistance, but naturally if I stop moving completely the current will carry me along.

So you mean like auto pilot? That's retarded

What is empathy anyways? When I see someone cry, I know they need comfort and I know something is wrong. When someone looks worried, I know he needs help. How is rational "empathy", effectively, different from "real" empathy?

Youre on Sup Forums

On some level waaaaaaay deep down, you are.

You will die from cancer in exactly one second.

your grammar is always poor
your immunity is too strong and everything gives you allergies

only by having your testicle crushed with a vice grip.....
(you get two immunities)

I have the power to have any power i want.