Stupid stuff you've done while drunk. I'll start.
> be wasted on pic related
> make my way into 10-year-old neighbour girl's treehouse
> convince her to take her pants off
> get caught by her mom with finger up her ass
The judge went easy on me and sent me to a six-month alcohol rehab program in lieu of jail time. Upon completion the whole incident was removed from my record. I'm still on conditions not to consume alcohol and the neighbours won't even speak to me anymore.
Nigger what am I reading?
Why did you finger her ass instead of her tight virgin pussy?
bump before page 10
>be 16 Sister is 18
>steal 2 bottles of Hennessey
>go home parents are gone off to Vegas for weekend
>ask sis to drink with me
>start taking hella shots
>playing black ops 3 drunk af
>sister wants to try and play
> 1v1 winner tells loser to take off 1 piece of clothes
Cont?
>Hype level: OVER 9000
I must hear the rest of this story.
>Inb4
Ok
>chose nuke town as first map cuz thats how I do
>she chose locus same here
>beat her like 20 points in first game
>make her take off bra
>she leaves shirt saying only on article per game user
> rematch the bitch on nuke town after hooking locus up to win fo sho
> we agree to take a few more shots before we start killing
>notice her tits through shirt start getting horny
>part of me is like that's your sis, and other parts like that's a fine ass ho
>finish first bottle of henny tell her raise bet stakes to one "favor".
so fucking fake. You present molestation, statutory rape, and a whole slew of crimes that could be laid on for doing stuff with a minor would just get you a fucking rehab program. Come on man, at least try to be realistic here. If this was the case every fucking pedo would be using the same excuse, but the reality of it is you made this shit up.
1/10 for making me reply to such a shitty and obviously fake story.
10/10 so far
>rl newfag detected
Alcohol detectors exist for a reason
Moar?
Fake
Anyways
>Start demolishing her on nuke town
>her getting mad and trying to change bet
>beat her and tell her a bet is a fuckin bet.
>asks what I want, said pussy lol
>she notice I'm hard and climbs on top and grinds on my lap her ass hurts at first
>boner could cut a diamond, I take off her shirt and start motor boating
>she then started sucking the skin off my dick
>Say that's not pussy
>she takes off her shorts and tells me to lay back
>she rode my dick like a fuckin champ or I was really drunk,
>but inside because idgaf
>go eat some weed edibles and get back on black ops
>rematch user?
being drunk doesn't clear you of a crime. If that was a case people wouldn't be going to jail because a slut was drunk or for getting in an accident while intoxicated. It's sure fucking summer here with some people's understanding of the law.
Fake as fuck
Did u never get any wins y u hatin
>long buildup
>short sex scene
DINOSAUR
There is more to the story lol, to many haters tho so I won't finish
pls finish user
Fuck you. Don't finish
Walk the dinosaur
>fuck you
>be 16
>helping friend get drunk for the first time
>Two other friends there 16 and 18
> friend get fucking wasted after a couple drinks
>puke everywhere
>pretty drunk myself
>two other friends are sober, but starting to panic
>rethinking doing this at a park
>decide to go home for the night
>We pile into car
>Sober 18y/o friend driving
>After about a minute of driving sees red lights
>Oh fuck moment
>We pull over, drunk friend passed out in passenger seat
>Irish cop comes up to window
>The stench of alcohol is strong
>cop "did you know why I pulled you over?"
>friend "no idea"
>Cop"...you had your parking lights on"
>Cop looks at the clearly drunk friend and me
>Cop "Welp you kids be on your way"
>Me waits for cop to drive off "Holy Fuck!"
>Gets home passes out
>Everything went better than expected
＼ | ／
○
／ | ＼
,ﾍ ,ィ
ノ ｀ー- ､__/ | *hic*
/ ● Ｌ._, {
! レi ● ! Guys! You gotta try this Happy Juice!
,.､_＼ i! ﾉ
几､｀" ゛ ＜_
|米l ７ _,几
|酢| | | |米|
￣ ! _ | |酢|
＼_{ `ｰ--⊃￣ ） ） ) )
Assholes
Ok
>give sis some weed edibles
>start drinking more shots and a few mix drinks n shit
>drunk as shit looks at sis half naked and stumbling around
>tell her let's make a new bet
>she asks what first this time
>tell her I want to fuck until I can't fuck no more
>she says what does she get
> tell her whatever she wants
> she agrees but doesn't tell me
> choose shadows of evil cuz she sucks at it
> drunk as fuck trying to kill zombies and shit
> she would bring trains of zombies to me trying to kill me or some shit
> So I bring like 2 margwa to her
>she dies. Victory is mine
> start taking bong rips and shots to prepare
>tell her I'm ready to claim my prize
>she says ok and we stumble into my room
> lay her down on bed, start making out and kissing her neck and making my way down her body
>start fingering, she is wet and tight for a slut,
>Stick the tip in and slowly start pumping my dick deep in
> she starts moaning
>makes me want to go faster
>super sayain dick mode activate
>was giving it my all for like 30 mins and couldn't bust
> kept fuckin her flipping her in every position
>I eventually blacked out and that's that
>We still fuck around when parents are gobe drunk or sober, get wins whenever