Im a 18 yr old college student How do I get little kids to sit on my lap?

Im a 18 yr old college student How do I get little kids to sit on my lap?

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become doctor

By killing yourself a going to hell then becoming satan

There's this little station where men in blue uniforms help you achieve that. There's usually one in smaller cities, several in larger.

Really?

yes

Wow! Thanks man! I'm getting all that loli pussy now!

tell them you're their long lost creep uncle joe, promise them gifts and money in exchange for lap sittings

Actually fucking kill yourself

Holy fuck which episode is this?

dunno

Where are you from?

Probably a school advert for children about how bad smoking is. It already turned tails into a nigger, see? It is THAT bad!

youtube.com/watch?v=jItz-uNjoZA

Nonce

I always used to cringe/laugh at those anti drug videos in high school.

Though I've never done illegal drugs, so who knows, maybe it's subliminal.

id rather not recommend doing this due to the pedophilia scare these days

You should definitely try marijuana. It's goooood stuff.

Part time mall Santa

This is so fucking easy, just be Santa at the mall.

Lift them up, and set them on your lap.

Actually, let me clarify. I've never done them habitually. I smoked like half a joint with a buddy of mine at a party and after 20 minutes I thought I was gonna die.

Was it a spliff, as in mixed with tobacco? Non-smokers tend to get messed up doing those their first time. Smoking pure weed is a very different experience.

And after that run from angry parents and the cops

Nope, pure weeds

check them, faggots