SHIT, HOW SHOULD I RESPOND??

SHIT, HOW SHOULD I RESPOND??

I have to do this very, very carefully.

>be a 23 year old dumb shit
>be looking at pics of my 8 year old cousin in a bikini at 2 am on facebook last night
>yes
>yes, you know what comes next. I really was THAT fucking stupid
>accidentally liked one
>and apparently aunt karen monitors her facebook pretty closely because I just got a message from her saying,
>"Quick question. Why were you looking at pictures of Samantha playing on the beach at such a late hour?"

how the fuck should i respond to this?? just play it off? say something like, yea i was just catching up on pics on facebook

but the album is from last year, anyway

Just say looking through family photos or something. IDK I would be shitting myself in ur situation.

Good Luck

I was really bored and couldn't sleep , why?

Don't mind me aunt,just jerking off

Yes. This.

just say one of your friends probably figured out your password

so much this

big cummies

Rolling for This kek!

I do this.

Please post outcome OP

quick question, are you a detective or or anything like that?

Just say you were having trouble sleeping and were just looking through old family photos cause you were bored. If you are normally a night owl, which if you on Sup Forums at 4 am you are, it shouldn't seem that odd.

Say you were depressed, and were just trying to remind yourself of better times

this is the stuff of my nightmares
>Press F to Pay Respects

post the pic

Roll for this

Quick question. Why don't you mind your own Business, aunt karen?

Say you had a friend round and they did it while you were taking a piss or something

Alternatively, kill yourself or run away and go live in a cave somewhere

Just say that you were admiring that hot fucking body you fucking cuck.

Yea. ..just say you were looking at family photos. Act really surprised that she's asking about it too

"Hey Aunt Karen, I was up all night ill, looked through a bunch of family photos to take my mind off it.
Why are you asking?"

If she says she thought you might be a pervert become enraged and refuse to speak to her for a month, or until she apologizes, tell every member of the family or friends what she did at every opportunity until you get your apology.

This is all kinds of upsetting

say something like "im not quite sure why you would ask me something like that." turn it around, make her feel like a bitch for thinkin ur pedo. assuming you arent of course

...

Just plat stupid. Unlike the image ASAP and then act like you have no clue what shes talking about. Play into it possibly being a glitch or something.
/thread

This. The less the better. Be like "wtf does it matter what hour i check FB?"

Offense is the best defense

if she had already noticed the like, it would be very suspicious

Say it was in an album of family photos and you were scrolling through and accidentally liked one.

DO NOT UNLIKE IT. OR BLAME GLITCHES. THAT LOOKS GUILTY AS FUCK.

Just say you were on your phone/tablet, you accidentally hit 'like' whilst scrolling. Shit happens.

this

Tell her "Because late at night is the only time of the day I have to waste time on meaningless shit like Facebook because I have a JOB, and WORK at it, and FRIENDS to spend time with after that, none of which you'd understand you fat lazy middle-aged sponge, now go find some other way to spend the money your husband worked his ass off to make while you hitch at him and everyone else for not living up to your lofty expectations you fucking queen leech.

This
Or this.

t
h
i
s

then act like your phones tweaking out. I've had my phone tweak out on me while i was on Facebook and sent a completely random person a friend request.

Easy. Just say "It came up in my feed. What are you implying?!"

Just own it dude. I like pictures of my little cousins some times. ..maybe even at 4am. The only thing WRONG here is that youre getting questioned about it. There are a million reasons u could be liking a photo. The fact that ur aunt is on ur case is bull shit. Tell her that you will like whatever pics u want to. Regardless of what hour of the day it is

Fake and gay scenario, only plausible to teenagers.

...

It'd probably be easier if I hadn't sent her this thread and your browsing history

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>feminism
>it all makes sense now

"what are you talking about aunt so and so? I fell asleep around midnight last night."

end yourself

...

Nein.

"Well, needed to fap and I couldn't find any pics of you in a bikini"

...

...

fucking savage

Your fucked OP. An outcast in your own family, the pervert who pulls head too 8 year old relatives. Just think how awkward those family gatherings will now be. Even if you hit your aunt with a bullshit excuse, she'll know the truth. Or at least she'll suspect. You'll never be able to look her, or your cousin, in the eye again. This will cause a rift in the family. They'll probably stop visiting your parents so much, ever distrustful of them knowing they raised a monster. Your left with only one course of action here OP. You know what to do....

Kidnap the cousin

>implying anyone believes this

This is the most sensible and satisfying course of action

Yeah but there's, probably numerous pics he could have liked. Ones that would be more appropriate for a family member to like. He liked the one of her in a bikini. Let's not beat around the bush here. OP is fucking done for

Not what I was thinking, but at this point he has nothing to lose

How are you all pretending to give all this advice without even having seen these alleged pictures?

>8 year old
>facebook
>bikini pictures
Your aunt is a dumb whore and so will be your cousin

don't become enraged

LOL, never thought about it like that. Your aunt is a fucking irresponsible whore. What the fuck did she expect.

+1

This. I think this would work. The "why?" at the end is great. It makes her question what she was thinking.

Also, kill yourself op

Most reasonable one.

listen op I know what to do, this REQUIRES you to own bare minimum a shovel.

>go to aunts house
>strip fully down
>like fully down, no pussying out
>start to fuck yourself with the shovel
>get it up as far as you can until you just have the metal bit coming out of your ass
>Yell I am shovel ass
>Decapitate aunt with ass shovel

Post the picture

Text your aunt a pic of your Dick.

Don't know why but this made me kek. Thanks user

>don't become enraged


fuck that, that's exactly what he should do and the natural reation of being accused of being a pedo and jerking off to his cousin

being calm is the reaction of being caught/guilty

>post photos to facebook

get mad if people look at them

logic

OKAY OP NEW PLAN

>Hang yourself
>Detail in your suicide note that you felt persecuted due to your aunt accusing you of being a pedo
>WIPE YOUR FUCKING COMPUTER FOR THIS TO WORK, we all know what is on there
>Your aunt is now hated as your family remains that you dinndu nuffin
>Kek at her from afterlife

now that you are dead you cant get arrested for jacking it to kids man, who the fuck is going to arrest a skeleton

OP is a faggot
>Tell her you were looking for something from a while back that someone mentioned
>Got distracted by all the nostalgia
>Decided to go through the albums, noticed there were pictures you might not have seen before/might have remembered wrong
>While browsing and clicking through, accidentally hit the "Like" button
Or you could do the "not awkward faggot" route
>Wanted to look through some albums on facebook because couldn't sleep
>Accidentally clicked "like" on a picture
>Why are you being a bitch about it? Or are you saying I shouldn't look at pictures of my family?
>Or are you trying to imply I'm some kind of pervert?

Alternatively, asking her why she's getting so uppity about shit and if she thinks it's appropriate to put a child in semi-lewd swimwear.

This or
>I was just looking at all our family's older photos, just like looking at past memories.
Or some shit like that, even if they eventually look at you like actually were doing some wierd shit, never actually look or admit that you were, believe your own lies

No becoming enraged is a sign he's guilty. Everything is sign he's guilty to be honest, cause he is guilty.

This, slightly out order I think unless you are wiping your drive as you are hanging there

Just admit to her that your a pedophile op

HAHAHAHA

if someone in my family was literally calling me a pedophile (im not)

i would be ROYALLY pissed

>oh that's cool you think i want to fuck your 8yo daughter no big deal

nope.jpg

Yeah it should be:
>wipe hard drive
>write suicide note
>hang self

Kekd

Post pictures of cousin, OP

Still a good idea though

Do it op

Since she said that, why would ANYONE upload said picture to freakin' facebook. Does she enjoy posting quazi-child porn just to see which persons on the internet actually see them?

Family photos... wow, I scroll albums on facebook when I think of someone I haven't seen or talked to in a while. I also like watching kids play, because it's nostalgic. Would you really ask an old lady in the park if she was a pedophile since she was watching kids?

Jesus fucking christ. Your aunt is just stupid.
And you are stupid. You shouldn't be afraid to watch kids growing up just because you're a man.

Have some dignity. Take back at her.

tell her to mind her own fucking business.

I'd say he should be insulted at first, and if she even tries to continue with the bullshit, then get enraged.
Getting enraged instantly looks a bit suspicious.

This is the advise he needed, good job

"cause i have no life and i'm fucking bored"

just admit you are a pedophile and need help. also it's too late your aunt will never look at you or think of you the same ever again.

She's not calling him a pedo though, just asking why he was liking her photos. If he reacts like a petulant teenager saying, "OMG, IMAGING CALLING ME A PEDO" he will expose himself for the pedo that he is. Best option is to make it seem innocent, not by over-reacting and making himself look guilty.

OP you are probably fine since it's a family member. I did something similar with a close friend's 11 year old daughter who I'm not even friends with, so there was no defending that. Thankfully he didn't make a huge deal about it, he just thought it was a little creepy.

And yes, I most certainly was jacking off to her pics.

Tell her it reminds you of when you were a kid and you're bored. Then ask her what she means.

Don't fucking answer at all, ever

well from doing some police work i can tell you the cops think it is suspicious if you don't get instantly angry at being accused of rape or something

the innocent get mad the guilty start bullshitting and darting their eyes

listen op you need to do the following
>kidnap the cousin and condition her into thinking you are her father and her aunt stole her from you
>go to utah or other third world country and marry your daughter hostage
>Pay some fag on the darknet bitcoin to kill the rest of your family so your loli-wife-hostage NEVER finds out the fucking truth
>Have kids, let them have kids (so they won't be so inbred)
>Repeat

Honestly OP, just go kill yourself quickly before you become a pedophile and rape little kids. Its easier to just end it now then to end up in jail getting ass fucked by niggers.