>be me >17 >hottest summer of my life >work as a lifeguard at local swimming pool >every fucking wednesday local tard club comes to swim >worst day of the week >every wednesday its usually just me working with this other guy >lets call him Max >every fucking wednesday the tard club shows up, shits in the pool, and basically fucks over mine and max's day >there is one main tard, we'll call him Megatard >Megatard is by far the loudest, smelliest, apeish tard to exist >the tard wranglers can barely contain the tardbeast >fast forward mid july >hottest day by far >noon rolls around and the tard brigade arrives right on schedule >they do their thing, flop around in the water and howl like usual >i get a bright idea to mess with megatard >the fat fuck runs by with his tard friends >i tweet the shit out of my fucking whistle >stops running and looks at me with his empty tard eyes >"no running by the pool" >tard brain processes this and he moves along with his day >10 minutes later, starts to run again >tweet tweet bitch >"no running this is your last warning" >tard lets out a grunt of acknowledgement before moving along >of course megatard starts to run again >tweet.mov >"thats the third warning, youre gonna have to sit out of the pool for fifteen minutes" >tard doesnt process it and goes in to swim again >i blow my whistle and put the little fuck in his place >he starts to get frustrated and starts to get red faced and grunty >tard wranglers ask me to let him swim >"rules are rules" >wranglers direct him to a solitary chair >he is fighting it, howling, red faced, the whole lot >max is trying not to laugh his ass off from the other side of the pool >deep down in megatard the shitstorm was brewing
should i continue?
Mason Diaz
Yes, sounds intriguing
Joseph Nelson
Go on..
Alexander Parker
Do it faggot
Michael Myers
Moar
Eli Lee
I demand more
James Nguyen
Bump
Juan Cooper
I like it continue
Jordan Campbell
Dubs and trips have spoken.. Deliver op
Ayden Jenkins
...
Brayden Jenkins
MOAR
Aaron Hill
top kek
Charles Russell
Keep going but dont make it so fucking long
William Ross
Come on dude!!
Charles Russell
bump for interest.
Lincoln Robinson
sounds promising, please cont.
Christian Hughes
Continue but hurry up. If you take too long we will lose interest
Wyatt Turner
Keep going mang
Sebastian Brooks
bump...
Jonathan Jackson
OP better fucking deliver
John Ross
The dankest dreamers are the hardest memers > now hurry u cunt
Nathan Bennett
Hurry the fuck up!
Nathan James
Do go on
Tyler Jackson
contributing. >Be me >5th grade faggot >Play MTG during recess with friends like the beta fags we were >School recently put in a "buddy bench" >Faggots with no friends would sit and wait for other people to sit with them >Essentially social suicide >Tard, let's call him gaylord sits down on the fucking bench >teachers are looking for some stupid shits to play with him Shall I continue?
Ryan Murphy
op got killed by megatard boys
Connor Thompson
cont... will cap if good enough
Luke Martin
dubs of truth
Adam Richardson
everybody continue please just want to read something amusing before i go sleeep just hurry its 3 am already
Blake Garcia
hasnt been that long, he doesnt got it pretyped prob
Ian Sanchez
yea why not op is being a fag right now
Joshua Williams
Rip op Never forgetti
Jacob Morales
Here is a screen cap while we wait
Sebastian Collins
Why would you not just finish the story What kind of faggot splits it into two parts for no reason
Jackson Nelson
will dump my tard stories, not mine but stuff i capped
Gabriel Gutierrez
Don't bother asking if you already started the story. People need to remember that this is Sup Forums; a glorious place where we shove our opinions and stories down each others throats. Just do it don't ask, because that's some shit a woman does when telling a story.
Hunter Hernandez
I got megatard alone >Where i wanted him Made sure no one was looking and put his down syndrome cock in my ass
Zachary Brooks
alright faggots more is coming
>Megatard is dragged to his perch >he is howling and squealing like a pig being raped >i walk over and ask them to politely keep him down, he is disturbing other swimmers >tard begins wailing about how he wants "swimmies" >kek >"please be quiet, or ill extend your wait time" >that sets the little fucker off >screams ensue, swimmies being demanded >he is flailing uncontrollably >tard wranglers struggle to hold him in place >max walks over and asks if there is a problem >the tard lets out a "REEEEEE" and then falls silent >he stops flailing and just stiffens up >tards face grows red >you could visibly see him forcing it out >ohgodalmighty.wav >another loud grunt and he tension is relieved >tard wranglers stumble back in horror as putrid odor emits from Megatard >other tards have gathered to watch their overlord at work >the foul smell was burning my nostrils, max was trying not to shit himself laughing >Megatard reaches into his swim trunks and pulls out an eight inch long shit stick >the wranglers are too shocked at first to stop him >one final REEE before the shit stick was launched in the air, hitting a femtard and then splattering in little pellets on other tardlings >the screams were ear shattering >tears flowed and arms were flailing >i couldnt even help but laugh at this point >wranglers struggling to grab onto the tards as an all out tard warfare broke out >tards tackling other tards, crying and wailing filled the air >megatard just screaming in pleasure
grand finale coming up
Josiah Perry
>Playing Magic >Format exactly the same as OP >Let's call him gaylord
No, don't continue
Luke Adams
to smol cant read
Nathaniel Hughes
seems fake
Alexander Myers
...
Angel Brooks
Fucking kek
Nolan Kelly
ok. I'll continue mine. >We look as antisocial as possible >Teacher fucking walks to us and asks us to be gaylord's "buddies" >Basically no choice >We walk over to gaylord >Says hi and flails his arms around, trying to wave >He thrusts his arm towards the soccer field, saying "tag" >we tell him we can't play tag, there's soccer >He throws a fit and runs to the field >Teacher tells us to go play with him anyway >He goes to the middle of the field and starts hitting people telling them they're it >We are forced to join in >Kids are screaming at us >Teachers are screaming at us >We all try leading him away >He pushes us down For the record, this kid had been held back 2 years and was fucking huge. >Kicks us in the face and runs >tfw I get detention for having poor judgement and not stopping him >tfw he broke my nose
Logan Nguyen
top kek
Jaxson Long
...
Camden Taylor
Yes, just yes
Gavin Green
Contributing >be me 16 yo fag >got high first time that day decided to do it again at night >go outside while mom is asleep >smoke it and Yada yada >sit in grass for 15 mins >high has really kicked in >walk down my dirt road wandering >not really realizing where I am >it's pitch black but I can see clear as day some how >the high dies down and I come to >I notice I have no idea where I am >I look around really confused and I'm exhausted from walking for about two hours >wellfuck.jpg >I find a patch of grass in the middle of a field and lay in it to nap >wake up next day >where the fuck am i >remember what happened, and start walking and towards the sun, since my farm had the sun rise behind it >walk for ten minutes >sees my house >"what the fuck" >goes inside >thinks for a minute and realized i laid in the grass for an hour and half
Jeremiah Edwards
I was expecting something a little less fake.
Ryan Cooper
this thread is good thread. keep it up, Sup Forumsros
Caleb Perry
...
Joseph Flores
>walked around in the dark but it wasn't dark >slept in some grass but I didn't >was high but I wasn't >wake up next day but I didn't >but who was phone? wat
Christian Thomas
still dump
Jonathan Jones
bump
Angel Baker
the megatard finale
>tard chaos surrounding max and i >we cannot contain our sides >simultaneously being yelled at by wranglers as they try to control the tard battle >right when they think they have it subdued, Megatard gets hit by a flailing tard arm >he immediately REEEs with all the force in his downy lungs >tard wranglers cant even assess the situation >i look over at megatard >the ogre like creature has pulled out his 10 inch rock hard tard cock >its absolutely fucking massive >hes just fucking going to town >his arm is pumping so fast you can just see the blur of his massive retard cock >screams from other tards erupt, causing more havoc than before >the wranglers turn the focus onto megatard, who is absolutely obliterating the top layer of skin on his uncircumcised dong >they dont want to touch the beast for obvious reasons but it must be done >they reach and grab at the tard overlord, pulling him down and trying to pull away him arms >they cant make the 300 pound lug budge >tards screaming so loud i nearly lost my fucking hearing >max has reached a point where he tries to help subdue him >terrible timing max >tard lets out a final roar and blows his chromaload everywhere >tard semen spews through the air in what felt like slow motion >tard cum is fucking everywhere >max gets most of it on him, some lands on me >other surrounding tards are victims to his golden shower >megatard goes limp and sits down on the chair >his grunts have subsided >max has spritzes of tard semen on his cheek >im laughing so hard my sides have erupted >the wranglers remove tards from the premises, surprised they didn't airlift the massive post-orgasm tardbeast >the tard club doesnt come back to the pool all summer >never see Megatard again
i have more megatard stories that are less funny from early summer but that was the highlight of his episodes
Jordan Thomas
Roemer will forever be my favorite tard stories
Caleb Sullivan
can someone cap all three parts of this?
Lincoln Johnson
...
Logan Butler
Fake as fuck, OP is a fag.
Samuel Reed
>chromaload This makes up for the entire thing being fake.
Daniel Reyes
my name is jared too m8
Bentley Wright
We had this one tard back in high school, his name was Solomon. I think he had autism or something, don't remember his exact issue.
Any rate, one of his "things" was if you made the finger gun motion at him and said "bang!" he'd fall over and pretend he was dead like he'd been shot. We used to abuse the shit out of that. We'd do it when he was late for a class and running down the hall. He'd just drop mid-stride. It was pretty amazing.
So, one day, one of my buddy Jordan decides to take this to the next level. He brings a cap gun to school (this was pre-Columbine, and in Canada), and starts "shooting" at Solomon.
Solomon flips his shit, starts screeching, kicks a massive fucking hole in a wall, then runs down the hall, out the door, and down the street.
The principal had to chase him down in her car.
Michael Evans
Alright,My turn.
>Be me >Niece's birthday is coming up >Decide to get her an MLP Toys,Little girls like that shit right? >Head over to walmart and examine the pink isle >As usual,Some MLP Toys were there. >Suddenly,a fat hairy gorilla looking fuck comes over to me with a disabled guy >he is wearing a button up shirt,sandals,and a fedora >His tard friend has blue hair,drool on his chin >"Oh,Another great fan I see?" >"...What?" >"URHUBUHUHRUHGUHBUBUBUB" his retard friend chants >"Hmm,Indeed chester,indeed." >I take a toy and try to go away >"Oh,Are you sure you want THAT one?" >"Its for my niece's birthday,man." >"Thats the limited edition twilight sparkle..." >"UUGHURHGUHRUGHUHBBB" the tard sputters >"Indeed we should,Chester.Indeed we should" >wot >he grabs the edge of his fedora and slowly tips it over and over again >He then starts to tip it faster >It sounds like a motor starting up >he goes faster >spaghetti flies out of his pockets and his tard friend turns into spaghetti >wot >the spaghetti wraps around his body >He turns into a giant spaghetti tard monster >He sputters out a tard moan and flings a meatball at me >I dodge the meat and run for my life >I took the toy without paying and head back to my car >then I was spaghetti
fucking twist endings always get me.
Bentley Reyes
its fake but made me laugh
Xavier Walker
The most humorous thing about this story is trying to picture that we are made to believe this is true.
Daniel Williams
>be me >see fluffy thread on Sup Forums >post 79 pictures of shit and shitty toilets from ever expanding collection >thatwillshowthem.jpgif >take a dump while I jerk off >smear my chest, face and balls with my ass' products >cum in my own mouth then google "shit in toilet" as I swallow
Connor Bailey
fake
Dylan Anderson
Someone needs a Watson, don't they?
Elijah Fisher
...
Caleb Brown
Fake and gay, in fact, so fake and gay that it contaminantes every surrounding post with it's fakeandgayness.