>be me
>having sex with this qt girl I met on the bus
>took her out to apple bees, paid, brought her back and watched tv
>eventually start talking about sexual encounters
>she says she is a "squirter"
>tell her I could make her gush like old faithful
>she's game
>start fucking
>she's on top of me riding my dick
>suddenly stops and pulls my dick out
>she starts PISSING ON ME
>"WHAT THE FUCK"
>she is moaning and shit, but I know it's piss. It's fucking stained yellow and feels warm like piss
>she gets off of me
>run into the bathroom and start the shower
>jump in socks still on
>get out, she's gone
>have to put bedding in the washer
>now 11:38 at night
>can't sleep yet because all of my bedding is in the fucking washer/dryer
>only own one blanket, big green microfiber one that takes about 2 hours to dry, still in the washer
Tl:Dr what should I do for the next 3 hours or so until all my bedding is clean?
>pic unrelated
>it's not cp just coincidentally looks like cp
Be me
Other urls found in this thread:
edenfantasys.com
twitter.com
you met a girl on the bus? you actually talked to her and she replied? is she a whore? a hooker? what kind of girl lets herself get picked up on a bus?
do what everyone else does, stare at traps and or ponies and put things into your anus while eating cheetos and drinking MTN.Dew and then play some Call of Duty.
...
Long story short I met her on the bus. she was wearing this Tshirt with a zombie on it, so I thought to myself "hey, she's pretty cute. I could use that shirt to open conversation"
We talked for a long time and before I got off I gave her my number and told her to call me if she ever wanted to hang out or anything. We kind of became friends, and a few days ago I asked her if she wanted to go out to eat.
I don't see why it's a bad thing
weird. but good for you for pulling that off. i would guess that a public bus is probably one of the toughest places to pick up some ass
>>it's not cp
I'm out of this thread then
>be me
>560 lb alpha male mostly muscle (treetrunk legs)
>sitting at my computer performing some completely healthy, normal, and not gay anal masturbation while eating cheezy poofs I bought at Kroger's, just like my main man cartman
>grab handful of cheezy poofs and my dragon dildo
>eat the poofs and then insert dragon dildo
>immediate burning as it slides in and out
>fucking cheese dust all over it
>asshole is now stained an orange color
Never again.
uhm, you know all "squirt" is piss right? its like 90% piss and 10% some other shit. Not saying its okay for her to piss on you just maybe be a bit more weary in the future
Well you don't really get on the bus to pick up ass and if you do manage she'll probably end up pissing on you so I would recommend against it.
>she'll probably end up pissing on you
um hello sauce pls hello
Doesn't smell like piss though. My wife's is always clear and isn't acidic. Gusher.
Not as bad as the cream cheese shit that usually comes out during sex. I'm constantly grabbing toilet paper and wiping my balls with almost every woman I bang.
>what the fuck
thats a yeast infection. that white shit is a bunch of yeast
i've actually tried researching this online, and scientists don't actually understand how female ejaculation happens or the exact path it takes out of the body
You virgin...
emily bloom, shame she doesnt take dick :/
Nonono. I dated a chick who got a yeast infection. this shit isn't from a yeast infection. It's just this shit that coats the inside of the vagina.
Some woman excrete more of it than others, but it's always really annoying.
Chkd
And scientists figures it out..it's piss.
And ruin that perfect pussy and ass? Hell no.
"piss" implies it comes from the bladder, not just its chemical makeup.
who is it then?
Then she stays hydrated
That was one study.
MODS
Probably because she drinks a tonne of water.
Doesn't feel like peeing when I squirt. And I'm dead scared of peeing during sex, I always stop when it feels like that, but squirting is completely different. I never thought I could do it but it only happens with a really specific g-spot stimulating glass dildo I have. It feels like a regular orgasm but with a fucking mess of a soak to deal with instead of just the nice feels.
But anyway that's just one anecdote to add to the pile.
This.,
why do you use a dildo if you are female? you could land tons of cock 24/7
uh mods?
Hmm.. tomorrow check for AIDS
>you thought squirt was something else
>it literally comes out of the urethra
>people that believe in squirt think a tiny gland smaller than the clit contribute over 80% of the liquid secreted
>there is no reservoir for any sizable amount of liquid, other than the bladder, in the vagina
>tfw people still think squirt isn't piss
In a world where science and free information exist, who knew that people could be so willfully ignorant?
>In a world where science and free information exist, who knew that people could be so willfully ignorant?
about sex?
lol
its the dark fucking ages
way to over react
you could be having a post-piss warm cuddle why the drier does its magic fucking idiot with a girl who likes to fuck
Dildos are fun for both when the guy is spent and I'm still going.
Did you know that I can create clay with my ass, OP? It's not shit, though. Promise. You can trust me. I'm a guy on the internet. I know what I'm talking about. Other people believe me too, so that settles it. I'm right.
MODS
I mean, it can't be shit. I play with it all the time. I wouldn't play with shit! lol that's disgusting! This is clay we're talking about.
shes a fucking well known porn model faggot
Exactly. I want MODS to delete this stupid fucking thread.
umm no, squirting can happen after she has pissed and is empty, unless her body can metabolize 0 oz of water to about 2 cups of piss in 30 min-an hr
But it contains no urea. Piss has urea.
Who? I don't recognize her.
>cp
>mods
She's 22 and has been posing nude for like 3 years.
...
Not that user but I lost my virginity to some cute punker chick I met on the bus
OH SHIT she does a hegre orgasm massage vid?
lol, idiot. Isnt your actual mattress ruined by piss now though? Was it worth it? Fucking quality mattress can be expensive.
This. I like being peed on. What's wrong with you weirdo
>a hegre orgasm massage vid
she was like one of the biggest hegre models for a couple years. She stopped a little while ago. She's got a dozen or so vids with them.
...
Cause aids. And I'm not a fucking whore
Can you post a pic of your dildo? WanTed to try with gf
sex doesnt make you a whore.
making him pay for dinner does.
decent kek
google: skene gland
dumb uneducated faggot
>and feels warm like piss
Did you expect it to feel like a cool refreshing sports drink or some shit? What the fuck is wrong with you.
oh SNAP
OH NO HE DI INT
>muh electrolytes
edenfantasys.com
I got the blue one! :3
I don't squirt every time with this. I guess it depends on how it's thrusted. I was never specifically trying to squirt, it just sorta happened a few times. Guys and their weird obsession with squirting...
tits with timestamp or you aren't a female
dick with timestamp or you're a faggot :3
>show dick
>or else you're a faggot
I'm pretty sure you got it backwards mcQueer
Senpai, How to hold a conversw with a girl?
How do you think normal people meet females?
My missus works at a pub I stopped in after work once, I got talking to her, and asked if she'd like a drink when she finished. We fucked like an hour later.
Thanks!
Walk up to her and say EY BITCH LEMME GET DAT PUSSAY
Oh, wait, did you mean for non-niggers?
Try not acting like you spend your free time on an outer mongolian woodcut appreciation subreddit.
Mods????
Did she piss on you too?
>not a whore
>shoving plastic into your oussy repeatedly until climax
No you're right, not a whore, just a fucking idiot. Enjoy you're pussy cancer faggot. My dick won't give you cancer, dead dinosaurs will. You think you're so fucking "cool" and wouldn't fuck me bc of my AIDS, but you'll fuck animals? Dinosaurs are animals idiot, and plastic is made from dinosaur bones. This is why I need MRA's. Fucking psychotic dinosaur corpse raping moron bitches running scared from a little AIDS dick. Fucking stupid shit right here. Besides if you let me fuck you in the ass you can't get AIDS. Get educated you ignorant princess bitch.
>pic related
if you'd been reading this thread, lurking like a good little boy, then you'd have known that this issue was already answered, you fucking idiot.
now fuck off my /b.
Holy shit, user. You really told her off. Man, I wish I had that kind of balls.
Man, you're so cool you should leave 4chins. We don't deserve so much edge.
Thanks guys I'm really digging the support structure of b. I'm thinking of starting a he-man-woman haters club thread next week when I get my social security check in the mail
>fucks a female
i am surprised you didnt get shit on
...
because fucking a man reduces the chances right? because men have a hold to fuck other than their asses
>plastic is made from dinosaur bones
the rest if your post was pretty amazing, too, but that line stood out as some god-tier logical fallacy thinking, dude. nicely done!
let's just imagine he said dinosaur boneRs, and it's even better
Do you have any paperwork w/ an upcoming deadline (tax shit, work for uni/job, bills that can be paid online,etc.)? Do what i do and go between that and here.
Obvious samefag.
....Samecunt.
kek
Now thats a high rez asshole
Actually, you're just fucking retarded
Dat resolution, tho. I can see her goddamn skin cells.
Idk man, I've seen higher res with less pixelation
...
i'm surprised you can see anything through all that vape smoke.
...
So let me get this straight: she admits to being a squirter, you says you can make her squirt, she's up for it... and you didn't put down a couple towels, maybe even a plastic trash bag underneath?
Did it not occur to you that in one fashion or another there would be copious amounts of liquid being released during your sexual escapade?
I'm going to tempt fate and save this. May God bless my potato of a laptop.
Here's something for trading.
Fuck me dead.
THATS A HIGH REZ ASSHOLE.
Can anyone best this?
different devices, i don't give a fuck. Wrote in the same style, used the same euphemism, 92 replies and 46 posters. Y'all samefagging
>posting on image board without contributing images
>complaining about samefagging
Oh you. Bless your heart.
No I'm not. I only go on Sup Forums with my laptop, which I'm currently using. dumb fucking asshole. Maybe there just happens to be multiple sarcastic people on this thread? it's 4chins you fucking nigger
but, I used an image the first time?
at 4 AM? No. Lying faggot.
2 AM where I am faggot. And if I were same fagging then I would have posted 'proof' of the other post by now
Idk wtf yall are arguing about , I just wanna know what this bitches name is so I can go jack off too her pics and go to sleep , she's sexy Af , she has a profile on the app called meowchat and doesn't post her name (I know , it's probably a fake profile) but still ....
Someone posted about it in another thread. Too bad you aren't there as well