Got a new job today but only just found out I will be drug tested in 2 days...

Got a new job today but only just found out I will be drug tested in 2 days. I smoke the herb so this is obviously a problem, how to clean my body out in 2 days or how fucked am i?

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ultimatedetox.co.uk/products/the-ultimate-detox-cleansing-drink/
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Any advice Sup Forumsros?

monkey wizz as long as they won't be watchin you (most tests, unless truck driver or some shit)

When's the last time you smoked, and how frequently do you smoke?

Take nision worked like a charm for me or you can go to trails they have some kits

You can use someone elses peepee but nowadays they have things that detect temperature of the peepee n shit, so you might be fucked. There isn't any way to cleanse in 2 days, takes AT LEAST three weeks, unless you drink half a litre of vinegar JUST BEFORE your test, it will fuck up your peepee nice for the test.

You're fucked. Sorry user.

OK LISTEN take lots of brocoli and water,
DRINK 4 galons of water in 1 day eat all day brocoli
Profit clean as a 14 years old teen pussy

Use something called "ural" urinary cleanser the day before the test, then drink about 12 liters of water in the 8 hours leading up to it. Tests are rated by ppm (parts per million) and if it's low enough you can get away with saying you were at a party on the weekend and passively ingested it.

Must agree with this. You will not get the job faggot.

He might be onto something, but you probably should try inserting the broccoli into your anus, whole. Your colon will absorb the antioxidant properties of the broccoli 75% faster than via your stomach.

thanks for telling me this i will try with protein
see those gains coming faster

Buy fake piss. It comes with a heating element to get it to the right temp. Quick fix is a good brand.

...

In England I bought Ultimate Detox for £30. It's a drink that works for a few hours.
Guessing an Amerifag so there may be similar over there. Worked 3 times for me !

ultimatedetox.co.uk/products/the-ultimate-detox-cleansing-drink/

yupp. agree. LOTS OF water. 4liters. yes. not 1, not 2 but 4 at least. one guy on 4 chan had the same shit. he peed blood afterwards, because his kidney couldn't handle it. but he was alive. and his pee was herbs free

anything that boosts ur metabolism

greens
citrus limes
ginger
green tea
power through sweat it out

worse shit can happen then u being in the system as a dope user

Buddy smoke a week before and did the detox and drank water shit 3 days before and still got detected

Use someone else's piss. Preferably a kids. Find a friend with a kid. Or a really clean friend.

No way you are gonna be able to clean out before, unless you smoke like once a week and weigh -130lbs. And then maybe.

How do I use the Ultimate Detox cleansing drink?

The Ultimate Detox cleansing drink comes with simple, detailed instructions on an easy peel-off label:

For the 2 days prior to your deadline avoid toxins and drink large quantities of water.
Do not eat a large meal 4 hours before drinking Ultimate Detox.
Do not drink large quantities of water 2 hours before drinking Ultimate Detox. Drink only one 500ml glass of water 1 hour before drinking Ultimate Detox.
Drink Ultimate Detox at least one hour before your deadline.
Shake well and drink entire contents.
15 minutes later refill bottle with water and drink.
Urinate frequently to remove toxins.
Avoid food and drink until after your deadline.
Yellow coloured urine is normal.

Ultimate Detox is effective for up to 5 hours but is most effective for the first 2 hours.

How does the Ultimate Detox cleansing drink work?

Unlike many other so called detox products which simply mask substances in the urine, the Ultimate Detox cleansing drink actually eliminate toxins and creates clean urine. It is formulated with substances known to assist the body’s own natural cleansing process and just gives nature a helping hand.


Is there anything else I can do to prepare for my deadline?

Yes, there is. If possible, we suggest following these guidelines:

Try to avoid all toxins and unnecessary medications for 48 hours before your deadline.
Drink at least 2 litres of water a day for several days before your deadline.
Since THC and other cannabinoids are stored in the fat cells, exercise will help burn these cells. But STOP exercising at least a couple of days before your deadline as exercise increases the amount of THC in your urine.
Use the third or later urine of the day and “catch” your sample mid-stream – not the first few drops that come out.

agree not 1 not 2 absolutly not 3, 5 is forbiden'
6 is dangerous 7 is right out if u reach 7 liters you will die, and the number you shall count is 4

Get someone else's piss.

Hey john i want your son to piss on my cup,
eeeh what? why? i need it

I said friend.

>john?
>yeah?
>I gotta take a piss test, man. Can I get some of your kid's piss?
>sure. Let me get him. He's pretty automatic once I take off the pants no matter where he is pointing. Where are you gonna put it when you go there.....
Etc.

Get some friends, user.

Oh yeah dude. I'll just get my prepubescent child and make him piss into a cup in an attempt to defraud employers because you're too immature to accept certain responsibilities.

OP here I smoke about a gram a week so not that much really, clean piss is gonna be hard as most of my friends smoke more than me.

I'm a big guy aswell so I'm guessing it's gonna stay in my system longer than a skinny guy. Can't really afford any detox kits so I guessing I'm gonna just have to drink a ton of water and sweat my ass off for 2 days.

I think I'm fucked TBH

I'm aware you and I are not friends, user.

What's your point?

Lol if you smoke a g a week just detox baby. You'll be fine.

Not every job drug tests. If you don't know the government is going to take YOUR PEE, then its hard to prepare for a month in advance.

If they can force us to pee in a cup, then I don't see anything wrong with asking someone else to do the same on their own will.

My friend drinks about half a cup of baking soda and he passes his drug tests for probation.

Test is on Thursday tho and I got high last night lol

ITT: very credible and sound advice

If you exercise for the two days prior all the the stored in your fat will be in the process of being flushed out due to burning that fat through exercise.

You are fucked without someone else's piss and the system to carry and deliver it.

Walk away from this job.

okay so i have a dumb question, and it isn't related to OP's situation, but it's about weed.

Yesterday I was with someone who was taking hits of weed from a bowl in a room about the size of a small toolshed. I didn't smoke the weed, but was in the room with him as he coughed up and into the air after taking hits. If I were to go and a get a drug test, would I be fucked?

Maybe if you took it right away.

Did you get a contact high?

no, I don't think I got contact high. To be fair, I don't even smoke weed (never had). I wouldn't know what effects to look for tbh

eurofag here
i was just in the same situation as you once. but when i went to the medical examination, at some point the doctor asked me if i wanted to pee, i said something like "no, not at all" and she didnt insisted much about it

so moral of the story is, go there, don't be a pussy about it, and you might get lucky i guess

u cant have inhaled enough thc to test positive, except if you stayed in that room with him smoking for hours and hours

here take this document of proven fucking idiot and staple it to your head.