Things that only you do thread
>check my shower before taking a shit
>twiddle my fingers against each other at 1000mph whenever i get excited and nervous
>when i stretch, i count 1-30 in random sequences, speeding up and slowing down but still make it equal to 30 seconds
>high pressure piss to clean stains off the toilet
Your turn
>high pressure piss to clean stains off the toilet
EVERYONE DOES THIS
>high pressure piss to clean stains off of toilet..
I think every man does this.
>high pressure piss to clean stains off of toilet
Its the best way to clean.
Tickle my back/asscrack while i pee so i get the shivers wich resaults in high pressure piss.
Bump
I guarantee, evwrything you listed, at least 1M people do too. Youre not thst special faggot
Shit in the sink then transfer it to the toilet using toilet paper tubes that I've saved up from each time my toilet paper runs out.
wow got to try this
also i do high pressure wash of my toilet also
edge my asshole when i need to shit
Stand when I wipe.
Found out after 20 years most people don't do this. How the fuck do you niggers wipe sitting down? How doesn't your hand touch the shit?
How do you not get shit on your lower back???
U are not the only one
He already said that faggot
Because we arn't all fat fucking amerifats
Sometimes after I've been edging my bung dunker before a massive shit I'll slam my ass down on the toilet seat and if I time it just right the inertia is transferred to my shit delivery
You don't wipe that far retard. Plus how shitty is your ass after taking a shit that it can spread to your lower back?
> fucking hate myself
> consider suicide a couple times an hour
> masterbate to traps n shota on occasion
>we all arn't all fat fucking amerifats
>arn't
>implies i'm a fat fucking amerifat for standing when I wipe
What were you even trying to get at?
>Things that only you do thread
before i piss, i get one single square of toilet paper and set it in the water so that it remains flat and square
then i attempt to shoot one single piss shot at the center
if i'm successful, i get to piss in the sink
>I'm really pedantic so I basically finger my asshole after I take a shit until there is nothing left
>How doesn't your hand touch the shit?
how large of a shit do you put in there?
>Things that only you do
Newfag.
>when I'm excited/nervous I slap my hands against the top of my head really really fast
>feels good when i get an alternating pattern going
>feels not as good when they're synchronized
>because of the speed i slap at I can't fully control how synchronized they are
>I'll leave to go to the bathroom just to do this because it's really relaxing
Otherwise I'm pretty fucking normal, there's just a thread of insanity tying me back her to Sup Forums
>uncut
>I fap by holding my foreskin between my thumb and index finger, and by squeezing the rest of my cock with the rest of my fingers so when I cum it gets trapped in this little space in my foreskin
>after that, I keep the "fap seal" closed and just dump it all in the toilet
I save a lot on toilet paper this way.
Ditto
Steal/collect pylons
Been doing it for years, I keep them in my closet.
Pics or its bullshit
>twiddle my fingers against each other at 1000mph whenever i get excited and nervous
How's life with autism?
you're not the only one
>Steal/collect pylons
I do this and give them to people for their birthdays or just end up hiding them in friend's bathrooms
>Jack off and take shits at the same time
>Keep headphones on ears for extended periods of time after songs are over
>Attempt to draw on graphing paper in random sequences
>Have a "buzz" that I can activate behind my ear drum somehow almost like I'm breathing through ear canal
>Buzz gets super excited on acid
Seen as we got a bit of debate on wiping standing vs sitting I got one
>start wiping sat down until most of the shit is gone
>finish with satisfying standing wipe to get the last of it
When I started batting for both teams, I opened up a world of marvel and opportunity.
Well sometimes I blast onto the back of the shitter bowl. But I typically piss when I take a dump so I don't want my hand touching that water. Seems like my taint would get all shitty if I wiped sitting down
Wtf is a pylon?
>if I have to piss and shit, I first stand up and piss then sit to shit.
>after I'm done showering but havnt stepped out yet I wipe and squeegee the water off my body with my hands so I'm not soaking wet when I get out.
>put excessive amounts of pepper on everything I eat, take what would be alot, and multiply it by 2-5x.
>wash my hands excessively, many many times a day
thats not only you bro
Fuck off UK fag.
This is beyond autism, this is fucking Sup Forumstism
...
I have mostly the same technique
you just honestly get it effectively better clean when you stand imo.
You're supposed to do this, people who don't are gross. Every girl I've dated wiped her as so good I couldn't even smell or taste shit when I licked their ass, even right after shitting.
the best way to clean is not need to clean
i do some toilet papers inside the toilet before i shit
2 and 3 same here
That is a good way to permanently damage your dick
How retarded can you get? That's not insanity that's literally autism.
>Gargoyle poop/squat. I'm aware im not the only one but it's very uncommon. Even at work I do it.
>Call my cats fat faggots for no reason and ask them if they know of the destructive power of my ass (random shit I ALWAYS say when no one's around)
>Stand naked with my legs spread wide and thrust my hips back and forth so my cock and balls smack against my ass and stomach and make this loud slapping noise
(After every shower)
>Make weird little wagers/bets with myself. Ex: "Okay, if you don't make it past the dining room before the alarm for the food goes off you will die in 5 years. If you do make it you will have a fateful encounter with a hot chick sometime this week." The context is always different... Obviously most of the time the stuff doesn't happen.
You may be the only man on the planet to do this. Doesn't make you special, just retarded.
I have done this, user.
I used to wash my hands alot when i was a teenager but i just kinda stopped
>wife suggests I fuck her butt, she wants to try anal, even bought lube.
>I kindly decline because it's gross.
>if I have to piss and shit, I first stand up and piss then sit to shit.
Ok what the FUCK
Why ?
>not satisfying your wife
have fun getting cucked shitlord
You faggot.
you know that you cant clean yourself properly while standing up becouse your asscrack is closed?
>
So a traffic cone, Thanks mate.
yeah man, I'm a little OCD...
...
Eat a blob of Vaseline a day, your shits will shoot right out and not make a mess.
Or learn to use the three seashellls, John Spartan.
I do this mostly to get all the asscheek sweat off at the end. My ass sweats a ton when I shit for some reason. Actually it sweats all the time. When I jack off I end up in a puddle of ass sweat.
>>>I put a folded layer of TP on the front of the toilet bowl to prevent a UTI(my manager got one that way :/)
>>>Willing to look past butter/pizza-face to see to real beauty in women
>>>I want to freeze time, wrap it up, and fuck the shit out of the hot girls I pass and don't want to talk to.
>>>I keep my bathroom clean(better than hospitals)
>>>
>I eat the skin of my fingers around my nails etc.
Am I the only one?
safety cone/traffic cone/pylon etc. depends what you grew up calling it
I do that. More so to prevent splashback and the accompanying noise.
Clearly have never wiped standing, you don't stand straight. You do a half squat so your ass is open and you wipe.
We wipe up AND down
>otherwise im normal
you have autism user
Please explain. Intriguing.
I used to work at a sandwich shop and this one guy would always ask me to put anbinsane amount of pepper on his sandwich. I can't imagine him tasting anything other than pepper when he ate it. I mean it would literally last for about a minute and a half before he told me to stop.
> I do not shave my dick, I pluck the pubic hair with tweezers one by one, lasts for month and half but hurts like hell
> I put honey in my scrambled eggs
> when walking outside with someone else, I need to walk on the right, otherwise I'm really nervous
this is the other reason i do it
we are like brothers
That's why you stick your ass out like youre doing a squat. You don't just stand perfectly vertical and wipe.
nah u just a stupid cunt
I do that too. i also tend to pull out my eyelashes and eyebrows andeat them too.
I've never heard anyone call it a Pylon in the UK
you mean cones?
OP here
This is what i meant when i said dwiddle my fingers.
Like i cant contain the excitement so ill slap against my head or my thighs really fast and in a rhythm
When i get home and see my dog, ill literally blast beat against my legs with both hands
My doggo loves it
>speak a lot with myself and tell myself jokes
I doubt anyone do this, I've been keeping it a secret
kek'd
hehe sure do but I manage it pretty well
been studying you humans for a while
i know your ways
...
Talking to yourself to an extent while doing work related stuff is a good sign of a sane mind.
Nice I really thought I was the only one, my fingers look like shit all the time.
ayyyyyy
Brothers in defecation. Nice to finally meet you.
Is this bait?
Top Kek
I've been doing this a lot as a kid, abd stopped.
It's a bad habit
Think everyone does this. I like think to myself or I'll think of a funny scenario related to what I'm doing in my head or think of something funny that happened in the past. Natural thing user, it's like talking to your conscious.
same
>When I jack off I end up in a puddle of ass sweat
this is especially annoying when on a long drive, which already makes your ass sweat
you end up feeling so gross when you get home
Pylons to me have always been those big things carrying power lines
everyone does these
source: i hate myself a lot
>i take my gauges out at least once a day and inhale the smell of decaying flesh.
>i refer to myself as "we" when im thinking to myself
>99% of the time i smell the shitty toilet paper i just used to wipe my ass with
you could have fucked her in her ass, dominated her, and become an alpha male. + she would feel like a slut and cum extra hard.
now she will find someone else to fuck her ass. enjoy the divorce, retard.
Yes, doggo understand happy slaps very good
I've never met anyone else who did it (or admitted they did) but a nurse told me she sees weird crap like that all the time. I'm glad I can control it but I still do it when I can/want to
daydream about living in my own world having everything i ever wanted, or just daydreaming about being someone I think is really cool, but to access this fantasy life I have to do something really repetitive with my hands / fingers. like play with a yoyo, spin something around in my fingers, or play a really repitive arcade game.
also
I love eating dandruff