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Civ thread
The year is 700 BC
The climate is mediterranean. we are a Greek City state. our neighbours are another Greek City state.
we are the redhaired white guys to the left.
DUBS DECIDES WHAT TO DO
TRIPS CHOOSEs NAME OF OUR CITYSTATE
EVERY TURN 5 YEARS PASS (5 turns = 25 years)
rules:
1. no crazy requests that take 20 minutes
build some houses and some industry
Build houses.
reroll,make them withe
White, sorry.
Make a moot shrine, say he lives on Olympus
Start some shit with those other greek pussies!
rolling for this
Burn down houses and start digging holes
enslave the mentally disabled ppl, to start build a townhall and good accommodations for the normal one and shitty for them
the house is white as it is made of stone. the roof is clay.
2 family houses by the hills.
we send 2 guys to collect some wood for our "industry"
roll
Roll
the year is 695 BC, turn 1.
Build a farm
turn all attractive womans into sex slaves and all the others into dog food
Build bridge and roads establish trade
Make NAZI great again
Trade with babylon, make a babylonian acropolis. So your neighbours get mad.
Turn into HilterCity wot
I support this radical notion.
roll
while a thunderstorm one of the resident (smart guy) start thinks about it and finds out how to use electronics.
close enough.
we build 2 farms. 2 people will work automatically on these farms, except if we tell them not to.
FuckingKillingNiggerfaggotswithchainsawsville
the year is 690 BC, turn 2.
Grow a bigger population.
Make a brothel / create some kind of sex industry
reroll
I will rule and conquer all of you shit heads
Build docks fuck farms we need fish
Make a wooden wall arround the castle
Turn 3, it is the year 685 BC. 15 years have passed and one of our teenagers entered the workforce.
>
we send someone to swim over the river and kidnap one of their little girls. we have a 12 year old girl chained onto a tree for everyone to release pleasure onto.
Shit, it was for
neighbors create an army, with boats. We send help letters to babylon.
Get cows and sheep.
and fuck them
Build a giant statue of demonic god, and let them worhip it
When they prey, the get some food or other things
¡Yes, yes, yes! roll
Commit mass suicide by drowning in the river.
Become cannibals and eat the other village.
roll
Build a wall!
Winner
Winrar
Turn 4, it is the year 680 BC. our neighbours mobilized their army of 6 men. they have spears but no armor. they also started building a bridge.
we wondered were they got all that Stone from, and we found out they build a quarry in their mountain. it wont be long until they find Copper and we are in an disadvantage.
we send letters to babylon and they called us a bunch of faggots. we either create weaponry or we get anally raped.
we have 50 Gold coins, just enough to buy a Bronze helmet, spear and chestplate for 2 guys.
fuckj forgot to add pic
Build a wall!
Send an emissary to parlay and gain the trust of the red hairs
Buy copper helmets for everyone.
We build a ship (trirreme, in spanish) war is on.
send half our men to a mountain not far away, where they discover abundant iron for making weaponry. we armed now.
roll
Rolling for the complete army.
roll
slave half of our population and send them to babylon to get help
Babylon likes slaves, may work.
>334
>34
The gods dont want me to have dubs, nor trips.
Roll
declare nation wide IQ tests
make alliance with our enemy, we give all our gold, they give us some soldiers and women to increase our population
villagewide orgy to increase population
if trips name village Auschwitz
reroll
turn 5, it is the year 675 BC. a storm happened and no traders arrive..... also one of our teenagers became of age. total pop:12.
we dont have a port to build a tireme on.
we did not find iron, but we did find copper. now we have bronze.
it will take 1 turn until we have made full sets of armor out of it.
in 1 turn the enemies bridge will be complete. they want their 12 year old back.
Roll
rallin
rawl
rereroll
Start construction of a Donald trump style wall.
Declare the village a holy ground where no blood can be spilt
Slaughter the twelve year old to scare the enemy village and show them that they shouldn't fuck with us
this
rally all our troops with our new weaponry and armour at the mouth of the bridge. put the 12 year old in the front lines as a human shield.
Fenicians ships come from south, they create a river block. They are neutral.
Slaughter the child, make weapons
from her bones.
Rollo
roll
roll
Rerollio
reroll, also *phoenicians.
build water wheel using the waterfall, use it to grind grain and stamp armor and weapons
reroll
i want my orgy
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
turn 6, the year is 670 BC. we build our Bronze armor and spear for 2 guys, the other 4 guys get a bronze spear only.
we dont have a quarry so we cannot get enough stone for a big wall.
we mouth raped her, and slowly beheaded her with a knife around her neck. there is blood and sperm coming out of her ears.
we will put her dead, cummed on body in front of the bridge. our soldiers are in SHIELD WALL.
Rollipolli
No more genders in village, everyone can choose their own gender. (half of the villa becomes mayonnaise gender) All cis white privileged males are publicly shamed. Send the fattest person to the neighboring villa to give a lecture about fat shaming and try to conver them to mayonnaise gender. Erect a statue of Anita Sarkeesian holding mayo and start a cult.
If trips name villa Tumblr
llor
WHY THE FUCK DO I KEEP MISSING BY ONE!?!!
Prepare traps by the dead girls corpse.
get some wood out of the little forrest and build a fishing boat
...
now
Build a raft and send a scout child to steal some of their food.
Roll
ROLLER
Rollio
there is heavy fighting on the front, but we manage to repel them for now. they run back over their bridge and a peace treaty is signed. as part of the treaty, we will send back their 12 year old's corpse, so they can burry her peacefully.
now we have the perfect oppertunity to build a large economy and a trade fleet. we can start with building a port.
scouts are not allowed in the peacetreaty we just signed. 3 turns and the peacetreaty ends.
turn 7, the year is 665 BC.
Build a damn watermill for industry already
Massive flood. The water level of the river rises dramatically. Everything and everyone on the left hand side of the river is destroyed completely. There are no survivors.
As the water level lowers, a large titanium and diamond statue was left behind on the far right hand side of the river. Inscribed along its base are the words "Moot wuz here".
mass suicide