Ask a sick psychologist anything on her birthday!

Ask a sick psychologist anything on her birthday!

I'm h-here for you Anonymous, d-don't be shy!
I'm only mildly contagious, and we've all got cancer anyway, a little flu won't kill you.

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what do you like about your job? seems depressing listening to people's sob stories

also are you attractive? maybe that helps people like your shrink sessions

and finally, what do your tits look like?

My job is actually a programmer these days. It pays way more.

My bathroom smells so bad I want to kill every one in my house

Is...is t-this a psychology question? I can't tell...

My sister was given up for adoption and found us years later. My first thought was how hot she was, and now she's the only person I really want to fuck. What do?

I'm attractive and confident about myself and I can never infer if a woman ever genuinely likes me or is just using me for something. If height matters I'm 5'10

Post degrees or gtfo.

*As it appears i'm getting better at not being late, are you getting better with your flu by the way?*

I'd talk to her about it; this is relatively common in similar cases, but obviously don't stick your dick in her.

...well, obviously? Isn't it obviously true that anyone could hide their intentions if given sufficient motivation?

Base your decisions on probabilities, not possibilities Anonymous.

It's slowly improving. Do you have a scraper searching for me or something?

what do you program? like web stuff or software applications? did you get any certs for that? what do your tits look like?

Whats with the p-p-p-pointless stuttering in text?

Doctor or not tits or gtfo. You know the rules

It's just that their fat pieces of nigger shit how do I tell them without hurting their feelings

I work with recurrent neural networks in financial models; we attempt to predict how the markets go in order to figure out how much different market instruments must be collateralized to be safe.

W-well, how is it pointless?

As someone who has been here since 2004, I actually DO know the rules; how exactly am I attention whoring again? AMA threads have a long history; lurk moar.

I want to design an app that is very addicting. Give me some tips on what it is that really attracts and binds people. Like colors, or subliminal design tricks. It's a social app that will help a lot of people if they use it

Dont listen to this quack, wear a condom.

It's text. Its not like you can suffer from stuttering while typing now can you...

alicelied.blogspot.com/

Why does the thought of my gf cheating on me turn me on so much?

Happy birthday user

I've lost interest in everything I've cared about and I'm realizing more and more that I have nowhere to go in life. I honestly do not give a shit about anything anymore. I've never felt more hopeless. I want to kill myself, but can't because it would fuck up my friends and family. I'm stuck.

2:3

That's what I was thinking, she showed me her tits once, so I think she wants it

nice i know someone who does the same thing, there is good money in it. works a lot though. would still like to see what your tits look like because im curious now that i know you are smart

What is a good way to not constantly think about suicide?

Sounds like you may need to be more sensitive.

Look into skinner boxes. That's what addiction is all about.

I'm not a quack; that'd be a psychiatrist.

And y-yet, I do

Because you're a disgusting cuck

How much do you felate your grandfather?

*There are many questions i'd like to ask you and my curiosity induces me to respect those timetables, also i enjoy your threads if that was not obvious. First off, i'd like to ask you today about why you said to be so hated by the community of Animus.*

Any experience or relevant advice for high functioning autism? It's a bit of a laundry list.

I hate my job so much I legitimately called a suicide hotline about 3 weeks ago. But it's the only job that I can get 50 - 60 hours a week to get over time. Add a total of 2 hours commuting, and on the days off I do have, I'm too tired to do anything. Even applying for a job feels like an impossible task.

I manage a quick serve restaurant, and the GM is a lazy inept slob of a human that can't staff my shifts properly.

I would rather be doing computer support in people's homes, but I don't have a degree.

What's my first step to not hating life?

Alice my dear, go suck a dick to help you s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-stop stuttering

Also, happy birthday, OP! :3

Signed,
Manager Steve

so eh.. this is my first time here.... and eh,...
so yeah i dont know if im depressed or just sad. i have no will to do anything and have stoped careing about frinds, studys, grades and family and i wish every one i know was dead, so that i would never have to pick up the phone. i just want to be naked, masturbait all day at home.

No you're anonymous like everyone else

TITS OR GTFO

I would recommend seeking immediate therapeutic attention if you are thinking about suicide at all.

Sit down, Yuuka.

Mostly because that community was created by someone who hated me, and every time it fell apart, I was used as a boogie man to unite people.

*rubs her forehead* What is your exact diagnosis? I am not fully qualified in the autismal spectrum, but I will do my best.

Doesn't help!

Oh dear. Why do you need so much overtime? I used to work 60-75 hours a week and it nearly broke me; that is not a good thing to put yourself through!

My recommendation? www.upwork.com
No degree needed, just skill, and you can work from home on computer and programming projects.

I did it, and it really helped my career.

Does getting your final and not knowing how to do anything classify as psychological torture?

Did you not understand I don't want to hurt their feeling but they need to know their fat pieces of nigger Shit and to learn not to piss on the floor and eat healthier

Happy birthday from the U.S. Marines.

How do I tell if another human being genuinely gives a shit about me?

By actually doing it.

That is anhedonia. Seek medical attention.

If you say so!

Thank you doll

>her birthday
>her
you know the rules
tits or gtfo

Me too user

Haven't seen one of these sorta threads in forever.

Don't give a Shit about anything cares about friends and family. Stop being a bitch

*waves* I run them every day at 8AM and 8PM EST

Except when I'm sick, then it's whenever I wake up.

Doing research for grad school. For the life of me cant remember good examples of systems perspectives in counseling. Any theories you can give me to start my research? I am a potato and cant remember what systems perspectives are, though the term is thrown around so often now I assume it should be common knowledge.

Can you tell me it's not my fault?

I never understood how any psychologists were able to share a room with a murderous psychopath. Do you guys have a gun under your desk for protection? What was it like talking to them face to face?

last part was just lyrics youtube.com/watch?v=P027oGJy2n4

*Can you recall how many times it fell apart? I'd like to know how "steady" said community is. And about that person, we're not talking about the dog killer, correct?*

Can you be a little more descriptive about 'their actions'? It takes me a year of hanging out with someone to trust them, how can I tell faster? (Primarily for women)

I do some weird shit, I reject every person who tries to build a romantic relationship with me, it's not even because of the looks or personallity, it's like a reflex, but still, I get sad sometimes because I'm alone while still fucking around with other people, just never settleling down. Am I autismo???

am i normal?

*gently picks you up and runs her fingers through your hair before kissing your forehead gently*

It's not your fault Anonymous.

>t-text stuttering
fix your fucking life OP

Their fat nigger Shit is affecting my life. You know what fuck them imma let em starve

*Waves back*
Oh. Well I've been out of the loop for such a long time. So that explains that.

Also happy birthday. It's also my own.

I am Being sexually submissive to a woman has some obvious suspension-of-disbelief issues. I can't really take unarmed women seriously in terms of actors (or I suppose actresses) in the physical world. Psychologically, on the other hand, women can be extremely formidable. When I really think about it, the only way I could believably be submissive to a woman would be through cucking.

lol dumb bitch is wanting to fix ours

I took some hydrocodines and i couldnt ejactulate i feel bad my gf say it ok but i feel eorthless right now.

I have medical attention. I've been on Adderall for about half a year. I don't want to tell them I'm suicidal because then they'll put me on anti-depressants which will just fuck with my brain even more.

*Thit is actually a pretty good question, i would have loved to come up with that by myself.*

Much obliged ma'am

Systems is more holistic? I mostly see the term used in ergonomics, so start there.

Psychopathy is a criminal designation, not a medical one.

Every year, so probably...5-7 times.

And no, it was a woman named Bernkastel.

...that seems reasonable. A year is a pretty decent time frame.

It's because you are afraid of commitment

Probably!

Birthday buddies

does it get you off to fuck with vulnerable people on the chan?

I'm thinking about becoming a psychologist.
What college courses would I have to take?
What steps should I take after or during schooling to begin my career?
Any key texts I should read before starting anything?

Pic unrelated

op do you consider yourself attractive? does it interfere with your mostly male programming counterparts? what are your height/weight/bust stats?

T-tits or gtfo

How to KILL procrastination?

Why do I procrastinate?

What do you think of Sup Forums's incessant need for rekt, ylyl and trap threads?

>Psychopathy is a criminal designation, not a medical one.
Antisocial personality disorder
Bitch, do you even DSM?

how does it feel being unemployed/working at MD?

youll need a doctorate to do anything with it.

I have lost the emotion love from doing some acid I have a girlfriend and am reasonably young what do?

Just get a psych degree and go for your masters; that's the quickest route.

My counterparts are not mostly male; it's a pretty even split.

You can't; you need to make a schedule and stick to it. That'll give you the motivation to keep moving forward.

Which...you may notice....does not have the name...."psychopathy".

I'm neither of those things.

so, my wife talks to her boss a lot, she flirts like fuck will most men, i dont mind, i know she doesnt cheat on me, because well im a crafty fucker and have her webwhatsapp on my phone, its just talking, but the thing is she talks about feelins that she cant talk to me about because it makes her sad, because i know the people (her dead grandad etc) whats up with that? before web whats app, i thought she just couldnt talk about it, buts its just to me... her husband... got any ideas?

Nice birthday dubs.

Been forever since I actually interacted with you and the others.

Plus I'm getting old ;_;

At least Uni is going excellent.

Im on 3 different anyi depressants, and I feel a whole lot better - but suicide is still an option in the back of my head. Is that just because I havent really found anything worth living for, or is it common?

Everything I've heard about anti-depressants involves fucking with your neurotransmitters for a few months until they work properly

I can't tell of you're going sarcastic.

Psychologists are known for treating psychopaths in prisons all over America and the UK.

That makes you a Virgo?

>Which...you may notice....does not have the name...."psychopathy".
bitch- if you want to get all linguistic, we can. common vernacular yo. its not a "criminal" term either.

Hi OP. Happy birthday!

I wanted to ask you about a problem I have been having lately. It is something like ASPD, but not so intense. I have empathy, but I am able to turn it off completely. It's like a switch. If I want to I can kill somebody or something without any doubt. When I was 10, for example, I was walking on the street and saw a little bird that couldn't fly. I wanted to see how it felt to kill something, so I just went there, looked at it and asked myself ''won't this be cruel?'' and felt pretty bad, but then curiosity came back and I just shrugged and smashed it with my foot. I didn't feel anything, I was the same kid as before. I am sure I am not a psychopath or a sociopath because I am capable of feeling love. I love my girlfriend, I love my friends and I will never do anything to hurt them, but if I can get an advantage manipulating somebody or have to make people suffer for something I want, I will do it and it will not affect me if I don't want it to affect me.

What is wrong with me, OP?

*Why she hated you that much? If she created a community with the sole objective to capitalize on you it means that something big must have occurred between you and her, right?

They dont fuck them up, usually they inhibit the reuptake system. And they usually take about 2 weeks.

You're just a faggot.

happy birthday hope you feel better.

are you proud of me now daddy see i am being nice now just stop hurting mr tiddles ;-;

Kys

what looks better to you
cut or uncut

You haven't lost anything; LSD can't do that. You just need to remember it.

It'll come back with time, don't worry.

Maybe you are too close to the situation and she needs an outside view.

anekihou.se/chat if you ever want to come home

Bern hated Alice because Alice stole Haikuus from her.

Show much lesbian action I can't even.

so close to quints..

Would you be so kind as to show us your butthole?

>You haven't lost anything; LSD can't do that
hahaha you're fucking worthless

Then how come I keep reading about anti-depressants making people feel like a zombie?

Viibryd, which is relatively new, Welbutrin, and just recently (past few months) Abilify.

medications fuck with much more than that. they will fuck you up much more than before you even started taking them. DO NOT TAKE MEDS. unless death is involved, then you may consider the pros and cons.