im a 28 year old virgin and I NEED to get layed before 30. escorts are not an option, i'm a human
My features
>pretty tall
>muscles (great calves and traps)
>strong beard/hair game
>expensive gear (genuine gold chain, watch, couple rings)
>my own flat with all the necessary shit (bonus: ice machine and home fryer)
Can you guys pls help me get layed? Give me some tips and shit. My weakness is im scared of women
Live in Dallas? I'll hook you up.
let us see what we have to work with
That sucks I live in Quebec
gold chain? rings? i'm afraid you are gonna need that escort..
home fryer is a bonus?
your pad smells like stale french fries, bro
>expensive gear (genuine gold chain, watch, couple rings)
Ditch them.
Where you from?
What scares you about women?
>Protip: they are just the same, if not worse than men.
Also, you're 28? Then know it's spelled laid.
I just told you. I am not going to post my image because my face isn't very attractive
>home fryer
get a hooker bb
i'll bone you, op
i live in new hampshire
full disclosure, i'm a dude and will pound your ass hard
>home fryer
wat a fucking kank
so? we dont give a fuck mate
you want advice or not?
Kek
>muscles, bear and gold chain
This nigger googled "cool"
kek
What ar ewe working with here? OP, we have to have a picture to see if we need to call in reinforcements.
Definitely would fuck
home fryer
top kek
Hahaha wow what a faggot you're an old virgin and you live in the only shit part of the country.
>escorts are not an option
welp, i think you're on your way to being a wizard. stay a virgin and not feel the wrath a woman will send upon thy
...
>Where you from?
Quebec
>What scares you about women?
When I am faced with an attractive woman I get shivers down my spine, I just freeze. Dunno what to say or do I can't even think properly. I just think "she knows im a pussy" etc
Not gay thanks
I give a fuck
fuck your dog
Backpages bitch... Cleaner than the cow shaped bitches you'll likely see in your area.
Yeah man i got an advice for you, walk up to girls and start telling them about your ice machine and home fryer. Pretty sure they will instantly blow you and let you fuck them until the dawn of days
just start out with a hooker, then take it from there
once your virginity is taken, nothing can stop you in your hunt
no wonder if you are virgin OP
sounds like you got some issues. try to speak to a therapist, no joke
> home fryer
Holy shit my sides.
He should carry photos of the ice machine and home fryer to various bars and clubs. Nothing beats solid evidence of goods.
> My only weakness is I'm scared of women
And your weak knees supporting your home fryer diet.
If the innie-cock won't, the herpes sure will
Might land something like this beast, since your home fryer seems to be your pride and joy.
lose your accessories except for the watch. a nice watch and a belt are the only accessories that man needs (if any). if you try to look like a christmas tree no wonder girls will run away. less is more.
Understandable, though I bet the biggest problem is that you try to repress it, put on an act, your gold chain and watch, make some fries to hide the fact you are afraid.
Ever just spoke to them? Ever really just said "I'm very nervous around people, especially women".
You'll find a bit of honesty and self awareness goes a long way, as most of us can see right through the act, if you drop it you'll find yourself with people who feel the same, and who want to be around the same..That's why I don't go to da club anymore, ignore bitches with that fake smile and a pound of makeup, dressed up like they're on the fucking red carpet. Give me real people.
Most people are walking facsimiles of what they see on TV and magazines.
my eyes!
Why are you all so focused on the home fryer? Honestly I have one too and they are pretty neat, pretty expensive if you want a good one. Women likes a man who can cook
Ever thought about the fact that OP might be a nigger? Sure sounds like he has the same IQ as one
The rapist
he might be, but it does not change my point. all i said is still true, even if he is a nigger.
I love my mother and I speak to her on the phone almost everyday. I am not scared around ugly women, I can talk to them about work and weather and stuff. They are just like friends you know. But as soon as I get interested sexually I am fucked.
I hear what many of you say here about being real but I swear the real me is shit. This world we live in is very superficial and I think it's the best way to get layed
lold cause its true
OP definitely needs advice from the rapist
OP post a pic of your face!!
>i'm a human
has it gotten you laid so far? no. why be someone else then? try being you for once. if it doesn't work out you can always go back to your fakery
I hear that OP
I have the exact same problem
I didn't ask advice on how to be, I know for a fact the shit I have women like (actually adore)
I just need help with like what to say or maybe where to get them
This entire post.
>If you say, pretty tall that prolly means you are 5'10
>women only care about abs. i am pretty fit myself and other than abs and maybe pecs women never mire anything else. you don't even need the most toned of abs, just don't have a gut, no one cares about traps other than men
>expensive gear
>genuine gold chain
It's not even the fact that you have gear it's the fact that you actually think it's important. If you are not sporting a rolex have a car dress semi formal all the time, no one gives a shit about your accessories.
>ice machine
>home fryer
Meme shit that no one cares for.
If you want advice. Post your face. It is literally the equalizer. If you ugo, you will never make it at 28 with all the attached insecurities that come with being a virgin at 28 and being a sperg who thinks having a genuine gold chain and a home fryer yields any advantages in the dating game.
Literally go to a club, dress your best, and ask every single woman there, if they want to have sex with you. Just try to look your most confident and go for the ones that you don't like as well. Your dick doesn't have eyes, and "Hey baby, wanna fuck tonight?" is a good way to start. Leave the gold chain at home you fucking kissless chav.
I'm giggling like a faggot
>home fryer
I'll see you faggots on /r/Sup Forums
i agree with the dressing part. even if you are not good looking, nice clothes will still attract women. they don't care about your face as much as you care about theirs
I remember the time when I bought my home fryer and ice machine that women were proposing to -me- on my way out to my mom who was waiting in the car.
Home fryer... Jesus Pommes Fries
This virgin takes the cake
Kek
>I just need help with like what to say or maybe where to get them
Fuck sake Op it's insulting how you disregard the actual useful advice while you search for the advice you want.
Grow the fuck up, be yourself because if the world is superficial why the fuck would you want to join it? Just to get your dick wet?
Fine, here:
>fake confidence
>read some shit, gives you something to discuss if you can't chit chat.
Other than that I give up. There is no secret, you just have to be someone people want to be with.
You sound like a faggot, maybe OP in disguise?
Just accept you'll NEVER ever get laid, and just post more pics of the girl in the OP you pathetic fucking faggot.
Watch rsdtyler on youtube. Worked for me.
Women like a man who can cook something that's not dripping with grease.
I went to Quebec a couple years ago, beautiful town with beautiful women. A lot of the city is very traditional and quiet (as far as Canadian standards go) and your competition is literally butt fucking ugly eurofag wannabes. So you're in a city where all the ugly fucks learned how to swoon women with there words and style and somehow you just missed that entire fucking skill set. You are outclassed and need to GO TO A DIFFERENT CITY. A wild, young, sloppy college slut ville. Stay out of the fancy clubs. You will have a way better chance in Montreal or the outskirts of Toronto
holy shit I just saw a screencap of you in a YLYL thread like 3 minutes ago and I laughed my ass off.
I'm fucking dying right now holy shit
Fake
kek, a man using fryer has no relation to being a good cook. women like men who can cook healthy food well. if i wanted fast food i would go to fast food restaurant. if someone was cooking for me i would expect that to be something nice (simple, good tasting and healthy)
You are not american. We get it.
are you trying to say OP is trolling?
cocaine will boost your confidence. drop the accessories.
see a prostitute but dont have sex with her
find an older one who is kind and gentle and who will teach you the necessary interpersonal skills so that you will be a good lay when it happens
WHY are you doing this to OP? Fucking sad of you
i am not, and don't expect me to believe that everyone in america is eating so unhealthy. yeah, i get that the stereotype is not made up of nothing, but there are people who like decent food. it has nothing to do with the country. i refuse to believe that everyone/ a large majority in one country love to eat shit so much.
i didn't post it lol, i did lose in a YLYL thread tho
>escorts are not an option
>i'm an human
guess what, they are human too!
pretty sure we just figured out why you're a virgin
>I give a fuck
girls like confidence, not insecurity. If you cant even show a bunch of strangers on the internet your face how're you gunna face a bitch
>escorts
>they are human too
lold
bbut gurls ar scurry n shit
>escorts
>human
Pick one.
>genuine gold chain, watch, couple rings
are you a faggot or a beaner or both?
Kek
>I give a fuck
Oh the irony in this sentence...
can't be worse than anything op has done to himself already
FUCKING CRYING RIGHT NOW FUCKING KEK
I'm a 26 year old kissless virgin and I could care less. If it happens it happens. I'm completly fine with my life. Why the fuck do people need to validate their life by putting their penis in a vagina? The most basic human thing.
I could if I wanted but I'm too busy playing video games and doing drugs.
This. Also Ecstasy.
Sounds like you'd be able to afford some coke though and that's a lot easier to deal with first time.
Don't take it every day though or you're a spazz and you'll ruin your life.
Sup Forumstards actually thinking this is legit?
>op is fag
go to a strip club
buy a lap dance
I did this a few weeks ago and it made me feel better about interacting with women. stripper might be able to give you a few tips as well
mah nigga.
also you're probably assexual.
>escorts are not an option, i'm a human
K
>im human
The fuck is that supposed to mean you giant faggot
are you retarded?
Christ, do you know how to read?
Im too busy playing Video games and doing drugs
I told a girl that I couldn't come over to fuck because I had just finished downloading max Payne 3. I was also high as fuck.
You my nigga OP
i think so
How the fuck do you go 26 years as a kissless virgin? I made out with girls in 5th grade and had sex in middle school. Not tryin to be an asshole im genuinely curious.
First: your gold chains and rings? No one gives a shit. It's confidence that matters. Poor people get laid too.
Second: use that frenchy accent to your advantage. Take a trip to the west, and just go to a bar and start talking to chicks. They'll be all over you.
No niggers get pussy, OP can't possibly be a nigger
As someone who does drugs, why the fuck WOULDN'T you have any interest in having sex?
The feeling obtained from sex is exactly the same as a high from a drug
Because he's a prolific fucking faggot
Not sure what asexual is. I spank it to this and I like girls but they just complicate things. Too many variables. Shut up.
This guy doesn't even know the subject! I'm laughing so fucking hard right now. I could imagine some fucking neckbeard joining a thread and instantly replying to talk shit before you could finish reading the thread
Shave the Beard you look like every faggot out there.
Fuck fam it's not that hard
Don't think too much and just live a little
You're a faggot