I think I'm being fucked with guys

I think I'm being fucked with guys
I don't know where to turn or what to do anymore
I feel like the world wants me to die
I'm losing my fucking mind and every time I ask for help I'm told by my family that they can't do anything
I've lost most of my friends, only have one now that I can think of

The more I think about it the more it seems like it must be true. I feel like an experiment that has gone wrong, so now the world is just waiting till I kill myself.

Everyone is in on it, but I'm left in the dark and I fucking hate it. What am I even supposed to do? I can't afford a psychologist, I can't afford the pills from a psychiatrist, and I can't get a fucking job to pay for them because I'm so disabled by this illness

I don't know what's wrong with me and I'm so fucking afraid, I don't even know why I'm posting here, I just really need someone to care

even if it is some user from Sup Forums
someone please save me from myself, I don't want to die

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what's happening to you user

Noone cares about you, just kill yourself autistic faggot, you won't be missed

You're clearly delusional and suffer from bad anxiety

lmao edgelord

I didn't read a single word you posted you spastic faggot

I don't know man, I'm tormented by my own mind. I've been in a very deep depression for around 11 years, and it's rapidly getting worse now

I feel like I'm crazy, I'm not sure if I'm already going through some insane psychosis and none of this is real

I look in the mirror and I feel like I'm looking through a window at someone who I've seen before but I don't know anything about them

I'm sorry if none of this makes any sense at all, my mind is so scattered right now I can't focus

What you have to realise is, 99% of the human population are selfish cunts.

Why would you want to hang out with these people or care what they think?

Find a hobby or goal you can get properly involved with.

Keep your bro close, maybe when you have something fun/interesting to do, you can meet other like minded people and hang with them

If that doesn't work, smoke some of that dank shit

Back to tumblr fatty

You sound like a genetic flaw in the development of humanity. You probably should have been aborted. You know what to do.

Take some risks pussy

Stand up for yourself

Go outside and walk around


>wahhhhh but whats the point
This. This is why you're you. Make some goals. Find a job you can walk to. Tell them your situation.


But get out of the house dude. Walk around the block and just think.

everything I try to find any interest in just ends up failing for me terribly

my mind is clouded so badly that I can't think straight. I don't even know what I love anymore because it all seems futile. I want so badly to feel how I used to feel, when I enjoyed a huge variety of things.

Now everything seems so dull

is there a significant even that happened recently that could have provoked this ?

You're bored AND a victim


YOU POOR FUCKING BABY

I care!
Kik me @ HeartlessAutomaton, you can bother me all you want about your issues and I'll listen I promise.

I do this every single day, sometimes it helps, but I'm afraid of being seen. I have neglected whatever this is for years now

Everywhere I go I feel like I'm being followed, and I feel like there's so many things I'm supposed to be doing, but I have no idea what those things are so it just ends up frustrating me horribly

I want to sleep all the time, but even if I manage to fall asleep, I'll have extremely fucked up dreams to the point that I'll wake up again, and then I struggle to fall asleep again. But I don't want to be awake, and I don't want to die because what if all that does is make this all repeat?

I feel stuck inside a terrible loop in my own head, but I don't even know if I have a head. I don't if what I am is even real

yor not alone user
"we created the web to find our self"

I totally understand, I have been through the same
You're at the bottom, it can only get better.

you are in the wrong board bub

I had a similar experience for almost 2 years, crippling social anxiety and struggled to do anything except play vidya with a couple of bros.

Then I took MDMA and discovered techno. My life's literally turned around since then, met some amazing people from it and have a hobby for life.

I barely even think about those times, cause if I ever get sad, I get myself a stash and go hit up a rave, with friends or not. Hard to be depressed when you're pinging off your nut and feeling bass all through your body...

the only thing that I feel could have possibly made this worse was losing my closest friend of several years. But when it happened I didn't feel anything horrible, I just felt the same depression that I always feel. I was expecting it to send me into a deeper depression but I felt fine for several days after.

This happens to me from time to time, but every time it happens it feels like it's so much worse than the last time. I don't feel like I can wait around and let this eat me up any longer

Ask your family to help you see a shrink. Where do you live? It may be possible for you to see someone free of charge.

Do you know why you are depressed ?

I appreciate it but I'm paranoid of using stuff like kik
I keep feeling like I'm at the bottom but then it only gets deeper. I still believe it can get better, I just have no idea how I'm supposed to get help anymore when all my options are exhausted.

I have tried MDMA a few times, but I've never taken enough to feel it

How about email? Any means of communication other than Sup Forums?

>all my options are exhausted.
Did you ever see a shrink ?

I live in Canada, I've called a crisis line and they told me I need to get a family doctor and all this stuff, but the anxiety I get from waiting for that stuff is pushing me over the edge

I am so worried I'm going to snap and do something I can't reverse in the time I'm waiting to see a doctor

Plus I'm afraid of taking away that possible help for some other person who needs it more than me

As far as I can remember it just happened one day. I woke up and something felt wrong, but I didn't know what it was, and it just slowly got worse over the years, until it started getting out of control within the last few years

I'm not suggesting it's the answer to your problems, just that it's an option. "Safe" doses taken on occasion doesn't have as much of a negative effect as you might think.

And if it's at the point where you think death is the only option, the side effects of drugs shouldn't worry you one bit

It's probably a symptomatic depression of some nevrosis
look it up

here you go user.
you can talk to me on tox i will listen.
Here are my tox id:
A350CE5E9812EC9CD2478526E00483D7846EDD0BE6D3807B441177F5EF2E825DEE41EA8448AD

tox.chat/

I'm not supposed to tell you this and I could be jailed if they catch me, but we have been instructed to fuck with your life. Everyone, including your family, is in on it. Good luck

You're being gangstalked. They do want you to die, that's the point.

I saw a psychiatrist for 2 years and was given all sorts of pills ranging from Latuda to Lamotrigine to Buspirone, Citalopram, Divalproex, etc.. Once I was no longer covered by insurance, other than provincial insurance, my pills were over $600 every two weeks

As for Psychologists, they are expensive as hell here and all of them in my city are greedy so they won't do reduced payment plans. My family can't afford it, and I can't afford it either

user I kinda felt like you for a while after a girl I loved crushed my balls and laughed in my face afterwards. What helped me was getting a new job. Stop saying tomorrow, do it now. I moved out, got a new job in a different city, a fresh start. It helps. Cheer up. Face up your problems. You need change.

Take a shit load of hallucinogenics

>and I don't want to die because what if all that does is make this all repeat?
I can assure you, that once you die, the game is over.
Like completely over and gone. There is absolutely nothing.
Nothing good, nothing bad, nothing.

So do the only thing you can: Stumble through this world and look around. Try to find and explore many different things and ways to live.
What else are you to do?

OP my mother once told me

>Everybody in your life will come and go, family, friends, coworkers... But you live with yourself from the first breath you take to your last. Like yourself, do what you like, do not think about what other people think of you.

She was right. What you can do anonymously is talking to strangers on the internet, join forums or play online videogames and see if you can find a friend. It helps to have someone to have a conversation with, someone you can tell personal stuff to cause they dont know you, but at the same time they should be a single real person, a friend.

Hey don't worry OP, I've never been able to identify with people who are comfortable with this ducking shit hole of a society either. I'm on the cutting edge of edgy and don't give a damn about the normies who look at me like Bigfoot walked into the room. We live in our heart instead of our brains so we understand what other people fear, but just don't hate yourself, kk? Just devote your time around others towards making yourself more understandable to others, it WILL really help

..... what I mean by that is that Sup Forums is not a friend, it's a horde of anons. What you want is to scale it down to a group or an individual.

He is trolling/baiting/bullshitting/put whatever you prefer. That is what's happening to him.

Thank you to those who helped me calm down, but I think I just have to end this fight

I'm so tired, but I'm afraid of a possible existence after this one

if I even exist at all

Look man, life sucks. But if you're not going to kill yourself then you can't really sit there and bitch about how bad you feel. You're not going to make friends by whining about how much everything sucks and how you need a friend. Learn to laugh at the world. I mean, ultimately, everything you're feeling doesn't really matter to the world. You're nobody. So fucking deal with it. Life goes on. Either build yourself up as a human being or kill yourself. Anything in-between is hell.

Also, read what you've written. You sound delusional. There is very likely something wrong with you. That's also a bummer. But try to keep anything that would suggest that you have a mental health problem to your self. Try very hard not to sound delusional. Nobody likes a crazy person.

If you want somebody to care about you, you need to provide enjoyable company. You won't make any friends as a sad sack of shit. Compartmentalize your feelings and try to be interesting (generally, by learning about lots of things that are good for discussion like philosophy, history, science, and jokes). People won't care about you unless you're worth caring about.

Is this the moment everybody walks the dinosaur?

Ugh but why OP we're so close to the end of it!!!

OP your mind is ill and you won't ever fix it. Deal with it or kill yourself.

You sound like you might be a paranoid schizophrenic.

Fear is the mind killer OP
Let go...