27 year old NEET

>27 year old NEET
>wake up at 3PM and roll out of my racecar bed
>piss jugs are all full, have to use the toilet like some subhuman normie
>waddle downstairs to find mummy for my wakey-wakey tendies and bakey
>lights off, nobody there
>there is a note on the refrigerator
>"Pumpkin, your new daddy Leroy and I have gone to the movies for the afternoon I made some of your favorite chicky tendies just heat them up in the microwave if you get hungy for num-nums. Love you, Mom"
>fucking cunt has let my tendies get cold and mushy
>and she expects me to heat them up myself like a slave
>she will fucking learn today
>change out of my cloth diaper into a disposable one and hit the road
>spend the entire walk to the cinema filling my diapey with poo poo
>arrive at the theater parking lot and coat myself in a thin layer of pee pee and poo
>brace myself and enter the lobby
>let loose my battle cry
>RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>"MY PRECIOUS TENDIES HAVE GONE TO WASTE, NOW MY POOPY YOU SHALL TASTE"
>pull handfuls of poop out of my diaper and fling them at random
>staff tries to stop me but I am too quick and too slippery
>entire venue is being evacuated
>navigate my way to Barbershop 3 screen
>mummy and new daddy are in the front row
>covered in poo and pee, two steaming loads in each hand
>mummy's face is a mixture of shock and indescribable terror
>walk slowly towards her while chanting "..tendies...tendies...tendies..."
>our eyes are locked
>as if from far away I hear new daddy say "ayo wut tha fuck this nigga-"
>cease my low chanting with a final "TENDIEEEEES" and smash the handfuls of rancid diarrhea onto either side of her head
>bring my piss-soaked face right up to hers
>her ears are filled with my poo, eardrums are ruptured, and eyes are nearly blinded by a mixture of tears and more poo
>say very slowly and clearly
>"Don't you ever fuck with my chicken tenders again."

And the best part is the dumb whore was too scared to even take away any of my good boy points

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/7NcJ22fGMNY?t=20
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

...

>be me
>just finished mowing the lawn
>mowing the lawn is worth 50GBP, which brings my balance to about 350
>I now have enough to get a ten piece tendie dinner
>run inside
>"Mummy I would like to purchase a tendy dinner with my GBP!"
>"user, we're out of chicken tenders, didn't I tell you?"
>I smile
>I walk into my room
>pull out a shit jar that's been under my bed for a year
>remnants of moldy, tendy filled shit are pressed against the glass
>"We still have some"
>mother gags and runs to the sink
>she unleashes a torrent of vomit into the garbage disposal.
>"cook them for me mummy, after all, I've been a good boy for you. It's the least you could do."
>"user, I can't even look at that thing, let alone cook it!"
>I charge the bitch and slam the jar into her face, knocking her out cold
>swing the jar over my head and onto the counter, bursting it and splattering moldy, chunky shit all over the kitchen
>piss all over mummy
>leave a note that says "You should treat your good boy better and not go back on your word :). Next time I won't be so nice. Love, your best boy"
>go back to playing CS:GO on my PC

>too slippery
thats gross

>3:AM because hard core gamer
>playing tf2
>looking at pony spray when suddenly I get killed by demonigger
>rage and nearly shit myself
>tummy rumbles
>rub my fap lotion on my belly and slide to the kitchen
>look in freezer for hot pockets
>none left
>tip toe to mommys room
>she tried to lock her door but I pick it with my handy screwdriver that I keep in my rolls
>silently open door, get on the floor and do a tactical lizard crawl to her bedside
>m-mummy I shake her
>"yes, sweetie"
>your good boy needs more hot pockies
>"no user I have-"
>squeezes her boob and punch her in the nose
>she doesn't say anything, she gets up and leaves to Walmart
>go back to computer and fap on e621 to portal hentai
>she comes back leaves the hot pockets on the counter and goes back to bed
>I grab the box
>fucking ham&cheese
>thought I told that bitch pepporoni
>go to her room again
>door locked yet again
>this infuriates me
>with all my force I break open the door
>THE DOOR! THE DOOR! YOU TRIED TO LOCK IT, YOU TRIED TO POISEN ME WITH THE WRONG HOT POCKETS!!!!
>nail her in the eye with frozen hot pocket box
>same routine, made her go nack to Walmart to buy the right hot pockets
>mfw she brought back two boxes
>mfw she even brought back Baja blast from Taco Bell just to be sure I was sated

Didn't know we were having a cringe thread

dis gon b gud

hump de bump

>tfw I had 20 GBP this morning
>go to mommy to ask her for 2 tendie dinners today
>she tells me she changed tendies to 15 GBP because I've been getting too many tendies
>told mommy that's not the way we said
>mommy thinks she can fuck me over
>I get angry
>really REALLY angry
>my eyes become all blurry I'm so mad
>"r-robot are you ok?" mommy asks
>I slap her
>she looks at me scared
>I slap her again
>she yells at me to stop
>no, mommie needs to learn that she made a bad and not to do it ever EVER again
>I punch her in the face
>she falls down and I kick her in the tummy as hard as I can
>she goes flying across the room
>I'm screaming at the top of my lungs
>TENDIIIIIIIIIIIIES TENDIIIIIIIIIIIES
>she's sobbing, gasping for breath
>she crawls across the floor by the basement door
>I open it and slam mommies head until the warm red slimy comes out
>TENDIES*bang*TENDIES*bang*TENDIES*bang*
>I push mummy down the stairs
>she tries to talk but she can't
>I stand over her and take my big boy diaper off
>"PEE PEE POO POO I FEEL BAD AND NOW SO WILL YOU"
>I squat and blast mommy with my watery poo
>hear her gargling on my nasty
>she throws up on my bumbum
>weewee gets hard
>I have wet stinky peepee fun time with mommy's lady hole as mommy sobs

she gives me tendies for only 5 GBP now, just gotta put mommy in her place :^)

>order 2 large pizzas, 2 boxes of chicken tendies with bbq sauce, and fries
>go into mummys room to get money
>wait for pizza tracker
>anticipation rising
>pizza tracker is close, Close! CLOSER!!
>door bell rings
>heart drops
>open door awkwardly
>"Hey, heres you're two pizzas. That will be 40 bucks".
>stare at him blankly
>"...uhhm?"
>hand him 10 dollars by accident, almost trembling
>"uhm sir, you gave me 10 dollars. The bill says 40 dollars"
>i say "y-you to--no wait"
>pull out 5 dollars from pocket and hand it to him
>"sir..."
>say again "w-woops my bad im SORRY!"
>pull out rest of change and give it to him
>"Sir this is 70 dollars, are you sure about this?"
>slam the door against his face, too close that i hear a bone crack noise when i did it.
>hear him in pain, broke his nose
>don't help him, run into room under bed waiting for mummy to come home
>too afraid to go up and bring the pizzas down to eat 'cause the pizza man can see me through the windows

>finally amass enough GBP for tendies
>scream at mummy GIVE ME TENDIES GIVE ME TENDIES BE THEY CRISPY AND FROM WENDYS
>mummy asks me to calm down
>slap that bitchy cunt int he face
>scream at the top of my lungs TENDIES I EARNED THEM GIVE THEM TO ME
>mummy huddled in corner crying, nods yes
>go back upstairs to play Tomodachi Life
>mummy leaves to go shopping
>mummy finally home from shopping
>feel my fedora vibrate, senses tendies
>sprint downstairs, fall on staircase and hit head on floor
>tendies too tempting, get up, bloody nose
>mom looks at me
>h-heres your tenders user
>punch her in the stomach
>THEYRE CALLED TENDIES CUNT
>grab bag
>McDonalds
>the bitch got me mcdonalds shitnuggets and not wendy tendys
>flop on the ground and start crying
>I EARNED WENDY TENDY MOM
>mcdonalds was closer user
>start shitting on the floor in rage and biting my moms ankles
>she finally breaks free and locks herself in the closet
>can hear her crying

i threw away the nuggets too fucking slutty cunt

anyone else gotten non-wendytendy?

>2 AM
>really fucking want some Lunchables
>wake up my stupid bitch of a mother and tell her to go to Walmart and buy me some
>"user, it's 2 AM and I have work in the morning, I'll get you some after work tomorrow."
>start slamming my head against the wall while screaming LUNCHABLES so the neighbors wake up
>"user, go the fuck to bed or I'll call the police."
>tell her if she calls the police I'll kill myself
>finally the bitch gets in the car and leaves
>takes her 45 minutes to get them
>look in the bag and see she got the Lunchables with Reese's instead of Skittles just to spite me
>fetch my lil' slugger and corner her
>"You think this is fucking funny you fucking know I hate Reese's you stupid BITCH"
>she begins sobbing and farting uncontrollably out of fear
>open up her mother's urn and pour her ashes into one of my piss bottle and start chugging it infront of her
>she faints at the sight of this
>she oversleeps and is fired for being late
>stupid bitch know not to fuck with me now

fucking normies

this places scares me

>wake up at 4 pm like usual
>start watchng anime, this time Himouto! Umaru-chan
>yell for tendies
>"Mom gimme tendies!!"
>no response
>yell again
>Fucking bitch.
>go into her room and piss and shit all over her bed
>Go back to watching anime
>Hear door opening
>WEAR THE FUCK WERE YOU MOOOOOOOOOM!
>"I went to KFC and got you a box of chicken tenders"
>Go downstairs, grab box and run back upstairs
>regret pissing and shitting on her bed

Normies, can't live with em, can't live without em.

>Be in my basement watching Yuru Yuri for the 3rd or 4th time (can't remember)
>Sad because I'm not 2D
>Walk upstairs and tell mommy about how I want to be 2D
>"Mommy already told you what you need to do"
>Bitch has been trying to trick me into killing myself ever since my 27th birthday 5 years ago because I lied and got her sent to jail
>Demand she give me a 2D headset so I can be with my waifu
>"When I told you I'd do whatever it takes for you to find a nice girl to take care of you, that's not what I meant. Plus they're not even out yet"
>I know she's bluffing because my runescape friend razordeath438 has one.
>Lying AND going back on her word? Unacceptable.
>Go to the fridge and take out mommy's special medicine
>"user, I need that to sleep"
>Waddle back down to my basement with her medicine
>Drink it all, I was really nasty but maybe the worthless bitch will die without it. Or maybe get really sick. If she can't help me get to my waifu she's dead to me.
>Start to feels dizzy and good, I need to tell mommy I need that medicine too. Maybe she'll let me buy some with GBP.
>Get back upstairs and tell her I drank all her medicine.
>"What the fuck user! That was an entire fifth of... uhh.... medicine"
>Get the tummy trembles and throw it back up in her bitch face
>HERE'S YOUR MEDICINE MOMMY, YOU FUCKING WHORE!!!!!
>Start crying, still dizzy from the medicine
>Fall on the floor and grab her leg, can't stop making throw up.
>IF I'M DYING I'M TAKING MOMMY WITH ME
>"Mommy's going to get some more medicine from the store. You can have as much as you need to feel better."
>Wake up the next evening in my bed, tucked in. I feel really sick and icky.
At least mommy left a lot of bottles of medicine for me and a bunch of snacks. She locked the basement door but it's okay, it looks like I'm set for the next week.

Do you guys come up with these yourself?

>come up with

My sweet, sweet child

>be sitting in my play pen with my plastic dinosaur toys
>can't find stegosaurus
>RRRREEEEEEEE
>mummy comes running out from the kitchen
>"what's wrong, poopsie?"
>"I can't find steggy!"
>"I'm sure he's around here somewhere, honey. We'll find him later but I gotta finish dinner"
>My eyes light up as she says this
>"Din din? Am I having tendies?"
>"No honey, we're having meatloaf"
>these words stung my soul, it was a slight to everything I stand for
>my disposition changes from happy to vengeful immediately
>"RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE", I explain
>she panics
>"honey, calm down. I'll..."
>as she was walking towards me, she steps on stegosaurus
>his spine plates cut in to her foot, causing her to start bleeding
>mfw I stealthily planted him there to test her
>she could have prevented this if she had just made me tendies in the first place
>a baby's gotta do what a baby's gotta do

>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I explain

kek

1/10 for the stories
1/10 effort as its all the same story
1/10 comedy
4/10 for making me read so much - was interested in the wendys / gbp punchline
10/10 for the ultrafaggotry

>be me
>29 years old
>literal manchild
>3 am
>lying in bed, have to take a shit
>don't want to get up, so shit in my bed
>its getting too sticky & stinky for my liking
>get out of bed and start stomping on the ground as hard as i can while shouting: MOMMY!!! POOPOO!!! POOPOO!!! at the top of my lungs
>stop when i hear my mom walking up the stairs
>She comes in my room and sees my shit covered bed
>sighs deeply and cleans up my mess
>ask her if she can take me to Mcdonalds
>''user, its 3 in the morning and i have to get up early''
>throw a tantrum, take off my pants and start shitting and pissing on the floor
>''ok ok user, p-please just stop''
>she cleans up and off we go
>make her buy me 3 happy meals
>want a balloon
>they tell my mom they're all out of balloons
>start screaming and nagging until she gets me a balloon
>BALLOON, I WANT MY BALLOOOON!!!!!
>only thing open this late is the gas station store by the highway, 30 minutes away
>we get home
>my mom looks exhausted
>go to my room to play with my happymeal toys and balloon
>hear my mom crying downstairs

>saved up enough Good Boy Points for a new game
>ask mummy to drive me to EB Games
>says she drank too much of her grape juice so she cant drive
>decide to go myself
>pack some chicken tendies for the journey in case I get hungies
>go to the garage, grab my bike and TMNT bicycle helmet (leonardo, of course)
>riding my bike, people angry and yelling at me as i make my way through sidewalk (wtf am i supposed to do, ride on the street?)
>see cousin dylan walking home from school with his friends
>wave hello but he pretends not to notice me (lol he's so shy)
>get to EB Games, grab a copy of Super Smash Brothers, and head to cashier
>tell him i would like to purchase this game using my accumulated good boy points
>he gives me a weird look and then asks for my EB Games Edge points rewards card
>huh? i don't have that. its what mummy must use to keep my GBP on
>ask him if i can pay with my chicken tendies
>"uh.. no, you cant pay with chicken, that's not legal tender"
>"WHAT? THIS IS TOTALLY CHICKEN TENDERS, WTF YOU THINK, THAT THESE ARE NUGGETS OR SOMETHING?"
>he tells me he's calling security, so i grab the the game and run, get on my bike, and flee
>get somewhere safe, check out game, THE CASE IS FUCKING EMPTY, IT WAS JUST FOR DISPLAY
>so angry, i take a big meaty shit inside the case and smush it shut
>throw it on sidewalk and watch as some excited kid and his mom pick it up
>lel not a complete loss i guess
>get home, police car there
>mom is hysterical
>"user THERE YOU ARE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??"
>tell her of my adventure as she hugs me
>get extra tendies for dinner that night

>be me
>34 years old
>in a very bad financial situation
>ive been grounded for shitting on the carpet to spite my new faggot dad
>have to rely on good boy food stamps
>been eating kid cuisines for a few weeks now
>about to end it quickly
>goodbyenonexistentgod.jpg
>see 1000yr old cuck on tv says hell help people like me
>get points even for being a bad boy
>bernie2016

These all remind me of Stuart from Mad TV
youtu.be/7NcJ22fGMNY?t=20

Whu this makes me so sad? Poor mother...

>Mom gets off work early without calling first
>Finds me in the pantry emptying my poop jug into the cat's litter box
>Starts yelling at me, saying that I'm fucking disgusting
>Tell her that it's all her fault for breaking up with my dad when I was six
>She tells me that I need to be an adult
>Cry and scream and even throw my shit jug at her
>She says that from now on I have to go to bed before midnight
>Tell her to fuck off and go to my room
>Don't go to bed because it's fucking bullshit and I'm not a god damn wage slave
>She opens the door flat out at like one AM and is really pissed
>Tries to push me away from the computer, but I'm too heavy
>I start yelling at the top of my lungs
>She rips my computer tower out of the wall and takes it up to her room
>Knows I'm too fat to climb the stairs and thinks shes won
>Lay down at the bottom of the stairs and scream until my throat hurts
>Still no computer
>She goes to work the next day
>Wake up at like 3 PM and no computer
>Bitch has fucking overstepped her boundaries now
>Go into the bathroom and take a huge shit in the toilet tank
>Get an idea
>Pucker up my ass and waddle into the kitchen
>Take another huge shit in the microwave and set the timer for three hours
>Mom comes home an hour later and the whole house fucking reeks
>She's screaming about a fire in the kitchen
>Can hear her crying for hours and even hear firemen stamping around
>Later that evening she comes in sobbing
>Sets up my computer tower for me
Flawless victory

Even though these stories are (hopefully) fake, It's frightening to know that there really are people who live their life this way, and there are poor women who put up with them.

>be me
>be 26
>be NEET
>wake up at 7pm
>mummy has made dinner
>it's vegetables
>i hate vegetables
>refuse to eat it
>"well, you're going to go without dinner tonight, user"
>she thinks she's won
>go back to my room
>hold myself over for a few hours on mountain dew
>wait till mummy is asleep
>start screaming "I WANT FOOD I WANT FOOD" as loud as I can
>mummy wakes up and stumbles to my door
>"user what are you doing?!? It's midnight!"
>walk up real close to my door and stop screaming
>"user, are you ok?"
>mummy opens the door
>me standing right there
>scream "I WANT FOOD!" two inches from her face
>she falls backwards into the hall
>keep screaming "I WANT FOOD" as I head to the kitchen
>start taking food items from the fridge and throw them all over floor
>throw gallon of milk onto the ground and it explodes
>mummy is pleading with me to stop
>"ONLY IF YOU GET ME TENDIES AND TACOS!"
>"GET ME TACOS AND TENDIES NOW. I WANT THEM NOW!"
>mummy crying
>"Why do you do this, user?!? WHY?!"
>mfw I see her getting her car keys
>mfw she comes home with hot, greasy tacos and a double serving of Jack in the Box tendies
>mfw she'll never get rid of her little boy!

These greentexts are actually based on a post on a parenting forum where a mom was seeking help for her neet son. She mentioned gbp and tendies and these copypasta were created when her post went viral

>Birthday last week
>Mama got me the counterstrike source cake I wanted
>Get a card from grammy
>"Enjoy your birthday, sorry I couldn't be there sweety, I hope you can use this"
>A lot of weird green bills in there
>Mamas eyes get big
>Ask her what these are
>"It's money, I use it to buy your chicken and videogames"
>"Can I trade it for good boy points?"
>"Yes you can, of course you can"
>then new daddy walks into the room
>smells like smoke and adult apple juice
>slaps mamas butt
>sees the money
>"I need this for the poker game tonight"
>Mama says no, I traded it with her
>He slaps her faces butt now
>Mama screams
>I'm sitting there eating my cake
>Ask her when dinner is ready
>She says I gotta help her
>This FUCKING NORMIE
>ASKS ME
>TO HELP HER
>ON MY OWN BIRTHDAY
>take off all my clothes and jump on the table
>Press my willy in the cake and run to mama screaming at the top of my lungs flailing my arms
>hit mama in the belly
>hear a loud oomf
>new daddy looks at me
>I look at him
>I get down on my knees and grab his crotch
>he goes back and asks me what I'm doing
>I just wanted to show him I can be mama too
>Run at him and bite him in his crotch
>even though he wore pants he dropped to the ground crying
>now everyone was crying
>my diaper has been full the whole time
>put some cake in diaper since mama isnt changing it and feed it to new daddy
>new daddy never came back after the poker game
>mama made me chicken tendies with a side of pizza that night
>she didn't even charge me any good boy points
>best 40th birthday ever

Someone needs to screencap this.

>mummy says she can't afford to look after me and pay for all my tendies and my WoW subscription
>tells me I should apply for that part time job at Lickin' Chicken to help with the bills
>start hyperventilating, going extremely red like a tomato (YUCK!)
>who does that bitch think she is
>hit her in her stupid old face with my fists and scream at her until she stops talking and leaves
>flash forward several weeks
>mummy hasn't talked about me getting a job since then
>she gets dressed up in fishnet stockings and very red lipstick and goes out all night, every night now, leaving chicken tendies in the microwave that I have to go all the way downstairs to heat up myself
>mfw
>later I find out mummy sent in an application to Lickin' Chicken for me and I got an interview
>I'm sitting in my swimming shorts on my big meowth cushion (MEE-OWTH THAT'S RIGHT!) trying to play WarioWare Touched on my Nintendo when she tells me about it
>MUMMY SHUT UP. SHUT UP MUMMY I'M TRYING TO BEAT ASHLEY
>fucking cunt hole tries to reason with me so I tell her
>WHO'S THE GIRL NEXT DOOR LIVING IN A HAUNTED MANSION YOU BETTER LEARN MY NAME CAUSE I'M ASHLEY
>jump up and down stomping my feet
>at the interview mum tries to stop me playing my DS
>I keep headbutting her until she lets me carry on
>the stupid man interviewing me asks me what I could bring to Lickin' Chicken
>keeping my eyes glued to the screen, I stand up and start a one-man conga around the small office singing I LIKE CHICKEN TENDIES. THE FLAVOUR NEVER ENDIES.
>stupid man asks me and mum to leave
>I didn't get the job, whatever, fucking normies said I would only earn 200 a week, I can make that just by staying in my own bed all night and not getting into mummy's bed. Ka-ching!

>34 years old
>in Mcdonalds for their My Little Pony toy promotion
>get mom to order me 10 Happy Meals all with girl toys
>she looks at the ground and sheepishly says "But user, you're getting a little heavy. Maybe you should only have 6 Happy Meals."
>stand on her feet and refuse to move until she complies with my order
>she cannot move and almost falls as she tries to pull her feet out from under mine
>the bitch begins to cry as she realizes I have trapped her, checkmate whore
>she quietly agrees that big boys need ten Happy Meals and she goes to pay for the food
>while she is ordering I get on my hands and knees, she hands the packages of food to me
>I grab the bags with my mouth and begin walking on all fours to the play area
>I slowly crawl up the slide, barely fitting whilst letting out enormous amounts of gas
>once I'm inside the main play area my flatulence has become to over powering that it even brought a tear to my eye
>the children playing inside begin to run out, complaining of the putrid smell
>I yell "get out normie scum! I claim this as the beta uprising headquarters!"
>I sit in the center of the play gym and begin to have a picnic with my happy meals
>I give each pony a bit of cheeseburger
>I'm setting up an awesome play story with my ponies when my bitch mom and the mcdonalds manager come into the play area
>"Sir we have been getting complaints about an adult in the play area. You must be under 8 years old to use it."
>tell him to fuck off
>mcdonalds employees begin entering the play structure
>my mom is yelling that she can reason with me but I don't negotiate with normalfags
>push my back against the wall and start kicking them as they come towards me
>all of the weight of the normie invasion plus my 300lb-self breaks the play structure
>I fall through to the ball pit, the entire structure collapses
>as the normies try to save a girl trapped under the structure, we escape
>mom begins crying in the van
>make her stop at Dairy Queen for dessert

>Wednesday afternoon
>tugging it to Nick Jr all day long
>Finish squeezing big boy gooey gunk from my winker
>Mumsies comes home from work
>Poo poo in my diapie due to excitement
>Earned 70 good boy points earlier today by promising not to empty my piss bottles on mumsie's bed while she was at work
>Expect delicious tendies immediately
>Squat walk downstairs with full diaper of excitement
>No good smell
>Mumsie looks upset
>user you're 33, I talked with a friend about getting you a job
>Fucking normie mom
>Remove my shit filled diaper and wield it like a sling
>IM A GOD BOY I HAVE GOOD BOY POINTS GIVE ME CHICKEN TENDIES
>user please..
>IM DAVIE YOURE GOLIATH
>Swing my shit sling at her
>Diaper falls apart and flings wet sloppy big boy chocolate all over the room
>Ring of fecies whips her in the eye and she falls do the ground recoiling and grabbing her face
>Slap her open handed and squat over her face
>YOUR LACK OF TENDIES SEALS YOUR DOOM, I LOOSE MY BOWELS WITH A BOOM!
>Queue a huge wet fart bubble followed by a mexican mudslide in the rainy season
>Literally pours over her face like a generous helping of tendie chilli
>She wipes it off her face and tries to gasp for air
>Quickly plug her shit covered mouth with my still-erect big boy weenie peenie
>GIVE ME EXTRA GOOD BOY POINTS OR ELSE ILL CHOKE YOU MUMSIE
>She spasms and mumbles what might be a yes
>waddle back to my room and play some XBox
>Serves me tendies later while sobbing and promises to give me lots of good boy points
>mfw I put that bitch in her place
>mfw I always get my way.

Get a load of Roger Fagbert here

>wake up at 11PM
>tum tum roaring with the force of a thousand exploding suns from hunger
>put hand down my pull up big boy diaper and poke around in my bum bum
>pull out a soggy mess of half digested poo poo
>smell it and wipe it on my buzz lightyear bedsheets for mommy to clean up later
>roll out of my race car bed and waddle to kitchen
>mommy better have my tendies ready and at perfect temperature or she's going to PAY
>find mommy slumped against the oven, overwhelmed from exhaustion from having to work 2 jobs
>that BITCH overcooked my tendies AND they're cold
>dig around inside bum bum again and smear poo poo over over the tendies and the Good Boy Points chart on the fridge
>at least she prepared XL sippy cup filled with Mountain Dew
>gag because its lukewarm from having been left out of the fridge too long
>vomit all over the floor
>fling my sippy cup at mommy and hit her on the head
>juice explodes everywhere and mixes with the vomit
>mommy doesn't even notice
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>jump onto her and start hitting her in her tummy and num nums
>she wakes up with a look of pure terror, and gags from the stench of vomit, shit and mountain dew
>YOU BURN MY TENDIESSSSSSSSSSSSS
>she tries to explain that she's so tired from work and not having enough money
>continue pulling on her num nums until she lifts up her top and lets me drink
>mfw I stole enough gold stars so I'll have enough GBP to buy that electric motorbike to race around the house with now

>be me 12 years old
>playing with lego in my room
>mummie knocks on my door and says its bedtime
>tidy up my lego and climb into bed
>mummie comes over and tucks me into my duvet
>tell mummie i need to speak to her about something very private
>mummie reassure me that i can talk to her about anything
>tell mummie about problem where peepee go big and stiff very irritating
>mummie says is normal but needs tickle from time to time
>ask whats that
>mummie says she will show me how to
>take off pyjama bottoms and sit on mummies lap
>mummie gently stroke my peepee and it go hard again
>mummie say im very big for my age which makes me feel proud
>bury my face on mummies shoulder and touch her boobies
>mummie unbutton her dress and let me suckle
>suddenly feel rush and peepee start pulsing
>hold on to mummie tight and shudder violently as warm liquid shoots out my peepee
>start to cry
>mummie ask whats wrong but just tell her i love her a lot
>mummie says she loves me too and very proud of her big boy

Anyone have that post?

>Wake up at 4PM from napsy time
>Glance over at my GBP scoreboard
>Fuck yes, 25 pointsies!
>Time to play some video gameys
>Waddle downstairs to living room in my jammy wammies
>Mom has her book club over, occupying valuable living room space
>"user, we're having our weekly book meeting here, can't you go play in the playroom for a little while?"
>No bitch, I saved up my Good Boy Points to play my Weegee game
>"O-okay, user, but please try to keep it down."
>Of course mommy, I'm your good boy!
>Load up New Super Luigi U
>Hear mom in the background: "A-as I was saying, I think Jane Eyre..."
>The game starts
>Start chanting Luigi catchphrases
>WEEGEE TIME! WAHOO! MARIOOOOO!
>Absorbed in the game
>World 1 boss, so toughy tough!
>Start farting from the concentration
>Smells like rotten meat
>WEEGEE NUMBER ONE
>Sniff fartsy farts and giggle
>Made it to world 2!
>Fart out a hot burning one
>Hear one of the bookwomen gag
>"I'm sorry user's Mom, I think I've left the lights on at home. I really have to go!"
>Hear her run out while gagging
>Look over at mom and her friendsies
>They're all looking at me disgusted
>Smirk
>"Come on, user, why don't you go to the playroom for a little bit. I think you've had enough tv timey."
>NO BITCH I WANNA PLAY WEEGEE! I HAVE PAID THE GBP NO REFUNDS!
>"Please, user, we can talk about this later."
>Bitch has got to know when to stop.
>Now it's WEEGEE TIME
>Rub Wii-U Gamepad over my peepee. Get a semi.
>Start violently shitting in my diapies. The smell is horrific
>Women start throwing up while scrambling for the door
>Mom starts crying, completely broken down
>It's just the two of us now
>Mom just sits there, staring blankly at me
>Laugh and roll around in dirty diapey. it gets everywhere
>Tummy tums starts growling
>Mommy, now make me tendies please?
>No response
>MOMMY, TENDIES NOW FOR TUMTUM HUNGRY
>No wonder dad left us, you useless whore
>Throw gamepad at her face, breaking her cheekbone
>She goes to make my tendies
>Dine like a king

but wendys serves nuggets just like mcdonalds?!?!

>be me
>be first day of high school
>mom is dropping me off today
>she gets my rolling backpack full of fruit-snacks out of the trunk
>"are you sure you'll be okay here user?"
>"yes mommy i am fucking fine"
>have one thing on my mind
>barely make it to the classroom before collapse in desk
>health class
>skinny fucking normies are staring at me
>obviously never played WoW
>next few classes breeze by
>finally lunch time
>shove my way through the line
>something smells familiar
>tendies
>holy fuck i cant waddle fast enough as the line moves forward
>lunch lady says "hi sweetie what would you like?"
>"how many good boy points do tendies cost, slut?"
>"excuse me, what did you call me? and what are good boy points?"
>ignore cumdumpster
>i grab 5 trays of tendies and waddle to the condiment station
>grab 10 containers of ranch dip
>take 3 bottles of coke and guzzle one on the way to lay down
>lay on floor
>i eat one tray of tendies and i get the urge to pee pee and poo poo
>piss in coke bottle and shit in the tendie tray
>entire lunch room is staring at me
>jaws dropped
>i fucking hate normies
>principal sprints over and yells at me
>"WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"
>he leaves for help
>shove the remaining tendies in my pockets and guzzle down my cokes
>principal and football coaches return and slowly hoist me up
>it took 5 of them
>poo poo the most ever in my life all over the principals shoes
>maintenance brings a golf cart with a bed on it to drive me to the office
>parked outside because they don't want to even try to bring me inside
>obviously normie principal tells me how disgusting i am
>i'm expelled from school and he calls my mom
>mom shows up furious and takes me home
>in the car she tells me
>"user, I am taking away 500 GBP"
>"but i only have 100 right now you dumb whore"
>"so now you have -400 GBP"
>fucking cunt
>we get home and she sends me to my room
>mfw more tendies in my pocket than i could have gotten in one week
>great success