Step 1: Ask a 33 year old kissless virgin anything

Step 1: Ask a 33 year old kissless virgin anything.
Step 2: Feel better about your own pathetic life.

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Why are you a kissless virgin?

Mucho autismo.

How much do you weigh?

any advice to i'm not end up like you?

70 kg at 180 cm.

Kill yourself. Or you know, be social and kind and shit.

Why are you still alive?

Are you a wizard?

You sound like a guy that does not look disgusting. Maybe go to gym more and invest in some fashionable clothing

To shitpost, mostly.

Well, I spend most of my time shooting fireballs at peasants ...

i'm you but 30. what can i do to not be you in 3 years?

What do you do for a living?

I'm 33 too and have a great life and have banged many many chicks... sucks 2 be u bruh

Why is my couch always wet?

You like quads?

Why dont you fuck a hooker

Why aren't you social? Like shit, I got a gf by having a basic talent (guitar) and being nice. It doesn't take much.

You're not a loser. You're just doing something wrong. What is it about you and your lifestyle that has led you to this point? Hotties aren't going to line up outside your door just because you're "nice".

Your life is not as bad, mentally, as mine is. trust me.

Gym is horribly boring. I go running and bouldering regularly.

strawpoll.me/10265806

I big is you're dick? can we see it with a timestamp?

whats it like being me in 14 years???

Suicide.

Nothing, if I don't find a new job in a few weeks.

Duh.

Stress incontinence.

I do.

Trafficking.

I'm neither nice, nor have basic talents.

>nor have basic talents
Why don't you get them?

Storytime.

Normal dick size. To lazy to make timestamped pics.

You are young. Shut up.

I don't understand how being a kissless virgin is such a bad thing. I wish I could be one.

Women only bring you heartbreak, a much worse feeling then being a kissless virgin.

Because you _have_ talents. You _get_ skills.

Then idk bro. You looking for it to meaningful or do you just wanna get your dick wet?

no im not im old enough to be a daddy

Wet dick is all I want.

You need to work on yourself. Become someone whom others find attractive. Step one is not hanging out on Sup Forums on a Friday night. Get a dog and walk it in the park. Do some volunteer work. Work on becoming what others find attractive. Seriously.

try fetlife if all youre looking for is a wet dick. all sorts of fun stuff on there

I am currently working on not completely failing as a human being - and I am failing at that too.

huh...if every bit of what you told us is true then i don't know why you'd be a virgin...have you been shot down before? also..and no offence..but do you turn to a total spazzlord when talking to women or do you keep it cool?

>.have you been shot down before?

Of course.

>.but do you turn to a total spazzlord when talking to women

I do not turn into a total spazzlord, I am a total spazzlord. When talking to anyone.

Poof

Bullshit. If you're failing as a human being, how can you expect to find a satisfying relationship? Focus on yourself first. Sort out your shit before you whine that nobody will ever love you.

seriously buddy- go to fetlife right now, make a profile and explain youre trying to cash in your v card- go to some meetups, fucking profit

Unfortunately, my shit is becoming increasingly unsorted. Entropy strikes again.

Am I not supposed to have some kind of fetish?

you don't have to
also- you ARE some chicks fetish

Then being kissless should be at the bottom of your list of problems. It's a symptom, OP.

I think it is an urban legend that chicks exist who are into virgins over 30.

Of course it's a symptom. The root cause involves every single aspect of my life.

this is true- however, we are here to solve the problem of OP's dry dick. not all of his life problems. OP gets laid, OP gains a little confidence, OP can begin to sort out the larger issues in his life

So what's wrong with your life? I'm not being facetious. What's the biggest impediment to your being confident enough to be the slightest bit social?

OP can get laid any time he has a spare $50. That won't help him, and he knows it.

Catherine Keener fucked a virgin over 40.

in general yes
on fetlife, no
just try it- you have nothing to lose but that v card
super fucking cereal, go to that site and make a profile right now- just list what youre interested in and check out the different groups in your area. you could be unwizarded TOMORROW

Mostly the accumulated embarrassment from past social situations. And an almost existential self-hatred.

this is absolute bullshit, i've been to fetlife, its the same as any other dating site, fat women/fat men all with high expectations. The difference though is the fat women have it easier then the fat men.

I have to respectfully disagree- OP's virginity has become "a thing" at this point- maybe "THE thing" he defines his life by. I think if he can just break the seal on that, he can quit obsessing about pussy and move on
he said he didn't want to go the hooker route anyway

don't listen to this negative nancy
im sorry that youre fat and didn't have any fun on fetlife
I had a different experience

yea and i bet you had to waste money right? fuck that.

>OP's virginity has become "a thing" at this point- maybe "THE thing

A thing. There are other things
- my lack of friends or social contacts
- my failing health
- my lack of hobbies or interests
- my (soon) lack of a job

If you stop trying then no wonder you get nowhere. Get off of Sup Forums and make yourself someone whom others will find interesting. Are you a NEET?

then you should be working on those first, not you're virginity.

>Get off of Sup Forums and make yourself someone whom others will find interesting

I am the least interesting person there is. A robot in human skin. And I will be a NEET from 1st of June.

Any advice ?

I didn't have to waste any money
groups will meet at a diner or coffee shop- some public place, so you buy a coffee or a sandwich- that's it

I know. But stuff keeps instead falling more and more apart.

E-verified™ 100% autistic response

>i didn't have to waste any money
>just have to buy coffee or sammich
>then you gotta buy ham planet coffee and sammich that you wannt fuck
>then you gotta drive back to whereever ham planet lives spending more money on gas

or if you're like me don't have a car to get to such places and so you're automatically disqualified from such meet ups.

Still point is you need money now fuck off.

Theres your problem. You're lazy. 90% of the problems people complain about are due to laziness. Get off your ass and do something

ok- you have a bunch of shit to work on
you have to start somewhere- if you focus on all those problems at once, they seem insurmountable- lack of hobbies and interests is probably the easiest to start with. do things that you find fun. worry about the rest later.
but seriously just make a fetlife profile and try it- get your dick wet and get a little confidence boost. work on the rest after

Then you know what to do. Find and develop some interests, and go to where people with similar interests are. Get a social network in real life. You can't do it over the interwebs. You'll make friends, who will introduce you to their cousin or sister. That's how it happens in the real world. Just quit whining and get the hell off of Sup Forums and start living.

I am lazy indeed.

walk then dipshit, take the bus, who wouldn't spend $15 to fuck the hamplanet? the hamplanet will zucks you dry

>Find and develop some interests

Name something that gets me chicks.

Where are you from, faggot?

The UK is basically getting pussy in easy-mode! - And if you're in Denmark I'll buy you a beer.

I am living in the UK atm. From Germany though.

me, thats who, i have standards. I also don't care to fuck anyone, but my point is you're still spending money, compared to what you said that you didn't, fucking hypocrite.

Getting laid is now his holy grail. You may be right. If he has said no prostitutes then maybe on some level he knows that real-life relationship sex would mean that he's turned a corner in his life. But that means getting a real life and real relationships first.

I'm older than you, and even more pathetic. Wat do?

get escorts ? pay extra so no talking involved if it freaks you out ? like, make the deal over the phone and literally ask her to be bent over on the bed when you arrive ?

I don't consider $15 to be spending money- its fucking nothing in the entire scheme of shit

Yes it will. A lot of walls crumble when you realize women actually are mere flesh holes.

I don't think that this changes much. When I say that I want to get my dick wet, it's about more than the sex itself. It's about being as attractive to another human being that sexual intercourse is desired. It's some kind of social verification.

Dude, you're putting the cart before the horse. Anything that develops a network of friends will introduce you to women. Some things are better than others. For instance, getting a dog and walking it in the local park when others are doing the same is more likely to work than getting into Dungeons and Dragons or MTG. But anything is better than nothing.

sup?

Dude, you're living in the UK and can't get laid?

Might be because your grandfather dropped bombs on London? - I don't know!

Get the fuck back to the continent and I'll buy you a beer, my friend!

And that's going to help OP's existential self hatred? Sex isn't the goal, it's a bonus for having a real life with real relationships.

Just name something appropriate.

I get that, and you're right it's important, but it's not the whole story. What you're talking about is sex within a relationship. You're a fucking 33 virgin and you live in an over-sexualized society. There is no way the very act of sex has not become something that blocks you from developing many aspects of yourself at this point. Leave the reciprocation for later. Right now, go out there and fucking own a woman. Fuck her hard, groan like a caveman, slap her ass and come back in touch with your inner animality. Progress from there.

I'm a girl and I would 100% be into you OP, as long as you don't look terrible.

I actually am into people who feel like they don't fit in anywhere and people who "suck at life" cause I'm one of those people.

Would you be into me? - I'm the same, but I look terrible.

$15 can get you a days worth of food, so no its not nothing, fuck off.

>as long as you don't look terrible.

Well. I do.

I can't, buddy. If you pick something you like, and that you're interested in and knowledgeable about, and like to talk to other people about, that's the best thing. There must be something you like or are interested in. You say you're a robot, but you're not; you say that because it's easier to assume that you're unfeeling than work to change anything.

Do you think it will ever change? i fucking hate my own life and im only 20.
Don't feel so sad op, atleast we have Sup Forums

archery

it can also get you an entire life's worth of not being a virgin- so I will not fuck off

>If you pick something you like, and that you're interested in and knowledgeable about, and like to talk to other people about

There is nothing that comes to mind. Unless it is drinking beer and sleeping.

Consider it done.

I'm assuming OP and the people who say they're like him all live in urban environments ?

I doubt that. I'd want to hang out w/ you but I live in the US

karate
and knitting
chicks dig that shit

I normally never reply, i always lurk, but i felt like talking to you today.
Idk i don't really wonna ask a question to feel better about myself, it won't help you, so scratch what i said earlier

...

you and OP both timestamp a pic- maybe we made the match
or youre just another neckbeard in a basement