ITT: Close calls that could've ruined your life.
> Be me
> nothing but Adderall/Video games/ career
> Too into myself to be in a relationship but also good looking
> Start up a dating app account
> meet 8/10 Spanish girl with a perfect body
> These girls are strictly on those sites for attention and nothing more
> Decide to talk to her by harshly criticizing her artwork she posted
> mfw it works and she starts seeking my approval and asking how she can improve
> Cont.
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bump dis better be good
Don't bother, user.
Nigga just squeeze it all in one post
Bump
Reporting in.
Type out beforehand and squeeze more into one post. Stop being a faggot.
this better be worth it.
I'll cut to the chase even though this story is great
> Fast forward, she trust me and wants to meet me no relationship but just dating (basically means fucking)
> Get her to take a cab to my place
> Had to argue for like 2 fucking hours because she was nervous that I wasn't real
> Understood but I need to fucking nut
> Finally convince her to come over
> awkward meet and greet as usual
> High sexual tension and the nervousness of the 1st time meeting makes a pretty brutal cocktail that can kill a date instantly
> Ease her up by teasing her about bringing her art over
> she relaxes and we start talking comfortably
> cont.
>be me
>be yesterday afternoon
>working in second hand shop its as shit as it sounds
>old lady comes in to collect table.
>im sitting behind the counter
>get up to give her a hand loading the table into her car
>hear a small weird metallic banging noise
>standing right beside old lady
>look down
>my belt is open and so is my top button
>get called a perv
>mfw I nearly got fired for being a perv when i wasnt
>she shows me her first painting
>its the cancer banana
>tell her "i really, really like this image"
>kill myself
>cont
that is not cutting to the chase faggot
Top kek
zozzle
> FIRE UP THAT NETFLIX
> Watching samurai champloo
> Both sitting on the couch inches away
> It's been like 2 weeks since I nut
> Go for it and pull her closer
> Eye contact she looked surprised yet turned on
> Lol too easy. Lean in for the kiss
> No resistance whatsoever
> Start undressing her with no warning
> She pretended to resist like most women do
> Lock eyes with her again and pull her shirt down
> Perfect fits about to pop out of her tight red lacy bra
> Hold her face with my palm, grab her tit and continue making out
> THIS IS IT
> Cont.
Toppest Dezozzlegosh. Zozzed really hard at this one.
lol
Fuck off m8 zozzle is dead
topzozzle m8, gr8 b8 but dont h8
Zop Tozzle
>samurai champloo
nice
>samurai champloo
can you not?
> i force myself on top of her as she screams
>"HEEEEEELP STOP PLEASE"
>what a kiddder
>i put my knife to her throat
> she pretends to resist like most women do
>inb4 OP accidentally rapes his tinder date
> Get her nice and worked up, leggings around her ankles, pussy dripping wet through her thong
> " Get on all fours."
> Wait. Do you have a condom?
> Yeah hold on
> She assumes the position waiting for me to grab the condom
> See her tight pink butthole through her thong
> OH FUCK YES
> Push her thong to the side and fuck her through it
> She began to freak out but the sexual tension was so high that she immediately began to moan in pure pleasure
> One more boys
> She starts moaning like crazy
> Have to switch position because I'm about to fucking blow
> Trying different positions talking dirty
> " I want you to come inside me."
> Watching samurai champloo
ok we now were this is going
in b4 spaghetti dropping from your nostrils
>then i woke up and cried
> After I say I want you to come inside me
> looks at me with true arrousal.
> sticks her feminine penis up my ass as I moan like the little bitch I am.
> She blows a motherload in my ass.
> I stand up but its like a rainfall of semen coming out of my ass.
> Didnt know this cute feminine girl with her cute little penis could shoot so much.
> That was the last time I saw Carlos the 6'1 fat mexican petite trap girl.
> she moans harder and harder as I thrust deeper
> her legs shake as her body gives into the orgasmic spasms
> she loses her control
> drops on the floor
> does the dinosaur
> sticks her feminine penis up my ass as I moan like the little bitch I am.
but shes bent over in front you
THIS STORY IS FALSE
TYPE MORE INTO ONE FUCKING POST YOU AUTISTIC FAGGOT
kill yourself
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.
>being this new
>suddenly, shit erupted out of her ass and covered my dick and legs
>sucker punch her in the jaw
>steal panties and run
>being this retarded
it was a joke you dip
>Why
>Are
>You
>Spacing
>Between
>Greentexts
> Wait we don't have a condom
> I can't get pregnant (DON'T BELIEVE ANY BITCH THAT SAYS THIS)
> I was 19 and fucking stupid so I believed her
> Blew 2 weeks worth of cum inside of her tight soft pussy
> Came so much my cock was pulsating for 3 minutes after I came
> Date her for a week
> Hot Co worker of mine starts coming on to me
> Drop my internet girl
> Fuck co worker (If you wanna hear this one just ask)
> Stop replying to her
> Random Kik during work
> "I'm pregnant."
> Spent the next 3 weeks tending to her every need pretending I cared so I can fucking convince her to get the abortion
> The day of the abortion she backs out and says she wants to keep it
> Realize how screwed my life is about to get....
> Cont.
>trolled
i hope you die. type your fucking stories out beforehand.
Holy fuck, you retard. You believed her?
OP does not have the personal responsibility to own a penis.
you should get a vasectomy.
Fucking lost
Ikr
Bitches selling positive test sticks on Facebook and skinning dudes alive for alimony and child support and he's like oooookaaaaay I'll just leave this here
Fucking retard
No one is reading your story aye.
> I should've won a fucking Grammy for this
> I told her that if she wanted to keep it, we can and I'd be happy living with her
> Makes up bullshit fantasy that sounds like gold to most women (House, Marriage, Family, Blah)
> Tell her it would be 2x better if we had a kid that we plan out
> So wrapped up in her false reality she agrees and goes through with the fucking abortion
> Drop her off to her house, go to work and never respond to any of her attempts to reach me
> I'm one lucky fucker
Keep them coming boys, feed my greedy needs
Gotta admit; that's pretty fucking clever.
and the award for most fucking boring greentext in Sup Forums history goes to
On the phone bro, chill out
You don't have to be here, yet you are. 0/10 you are a fag
...
tell us about the coworker
...
Thank you.
It's the only cure for this faggotry
Fucking hate customers bro
...
...
...
...
You got it brother
> Her name was Gabby
> That hot co worker that most guys flirt with
> She was 21 and I was 19 so I figured I shouldn't bother
> She notices that I Dont suck up to her or whiteknight around
> She starts talking to me more and I didn't think much of it because I was on adderall and had no sex drive
> Ends up liking me and asking to hang out and if I ever smoked
> Cont.
Yes, why does she wear the mask?
GG
GG
damn son, you have redefined the playbook for handling roasties.
heha!
> Only smoked a few times in my life but I said that i did
> Let's go to "Sushi pop and get fucked up"
> Sure, pick her up in my car and she gets the blueberry zigzags
> Smelt so fucking good like concentrated candy
> She starts rolling up the weed
> Park on the side of the restaurant
> She smokes me out in the car
> Too fucking high and act like a dumb lunatic the whole time
> Good ass food, alcohol, and high as fuck (manager didn't care)
> Talking and listening to music on the way home
> Getting close to her place and I wanted to fuck her
> Too pussy to just lay it on the table
> She ask me if I wanna hear a secret?
> "I'm a squirter"
> I'm too high and stupid to react
> She gets out and tells me goodnight.
> Cont.
holy shit, I lost
>> I'm too high and stupid to react
lole
Been there, I ate too much once and couldn't get it up because I was too full
Mfw
>I'm too high and stupid to react
I've been there so many times
To high/ stupid to react
Lol I was way too drunk and dumb to react once cost me a 5/10 but I ended up fucking her 8/10 friend like 2 weeks later which never would of happened if I fucked the 5/10 so being dumb sometimes helps
> Fast forward a few months
> adderall has altered my attitude completely to aggressive and impatient
> We were no longer friends because she started too much drama with me
> One day she serves something on my station
> Leaves a huge mess
> Tell her politely to keep my station clean at all times because we've been getting the third degree from our boss if we don't
> Triggers her and she spends the next 30 minutes talking about how clean my station is
> Blow up on her and tell her she ain't shit and she's terrible and she should just go home
> She spent the next 20 minutes crying in the walk in
> One week later I pull her aside and apologize for the harshness and ask her if she wants to go to grab some food after work with our co workers
> She accepts my apology and agrees to go
> Fast forward to most of my coworkers went home
> Gabby and my boy Tyler were the last ones there
> Tyler said he had to go
> Gabby told me that I could stay over if I wanted to crash at her place (I was drunk and lived 40 minutes away)
> Sure! (She was 5 away)
> Cont.
Checked
From being too full :0
How much did you eat like 3 pizzas?
checked
Lol do Quads break the trips cherry too?
...
continue user
> Checked
> Get inside her apartment for the first time
> Talk about work and squash the beef between us because drunk and happy
> We smoke a bowl and she tells me she's tired and wants to sleep
> Lay on the couch because I had no idea that there was any chance I could fuck her
> " You can come to bed with me if you want..."
> HELL FUCKING YEAH
> I join her and she presses her round ass against my pelvis
> Put my arm around her
> Pull her booty shorts down
> She fucking stops me and says that she doesn't sleep with co workers
> What the fuck ever
> Lean in and kiss her on the lips
> She starts kissing back and taking off her clothes
> After a few minutes of "just the tip" I start thrusting inside of her
> She talked about how she thinks my cock is huge
> I get this a lot but I always pretend like I had no idea
> She starts getting aggressive and we fuck for what felt like hours
> Probably like 10 minutes lel
> Love the say she rode me
> Loved the way she pushed her big creamy ass back against my cock when I was banging her from the back
> She ends up squirting
> I cum on her ass
> NO FUCKING CONDOM AGAIN BECAUSE IM A IRRESPONSIBLE PERSON
10 minutes. What a faggot
>Unplanned pregnancy almost ruins his life
>continues to fuck w/o rubber
Good job OP
In my defense I didn't know the chick was preggers until after I fucked gabby
kill yourself
end it all
dick in toaster