/nfl/ general: it's still june edition

CLE:RGIII lacked for 'wow' moments in offseason
PIT:Maurkice Pouncey underwent seven surgeries
LAR:Fisher Ball: Keenum enters camp as starter
BAL:Long-shot Trent Richardson needs knee scope
SEA:Carroll 'absolutely' expects Rawls for Week 1
DEN:Von: 'No chance' I play under franchise tag
CAR:Panthers extend Rivera through 2018 season
BAL:'Real chance' Terrell Suggs ready for Week 1
FA:Report: 49ers, Seahawks eye Eugene Monroe
NO:'Pretty apparent' Spiller behind Hightower
BAL:Steve Smith returned to achieve 1,000 catches
TEN:Tajae Sharpe expected to open camp as starter

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>mfw RGIII wins one for da land

First for a gator eating Sneak's baby

as much as i want something nice to happen to cleveland

>yfw it turns into another "The _____" event

>BAL:'Real chance' Terrell Suggs ready for Week 1

Pepper your angus NFL (just pretend it's Suggs in the pic and not Reed)

BUF: unofficial winner of offseason

You're implying I need to have sex.

With a girl.

In the vagina.

Without a condom.

Hah, good one.

Florida
Not even once

Rex Ryan needs to fucking go. Go call the corpse of Marv Levy to fix this shit.

Fitz isnt going to sign with the Jets is he?

They arent going to get close to the playoffs without him, especially with Marshall chimping out that he isnt there.

>A gator will never eat sneak

He wouldn't have made it anyway. Remember when Buffalo paid him and then he turned to shit and got benched. He's the kind of QB that you need to make him >do it for free.

>Florida Man flees seatbelt stop on foot, cop runs him over and kills him
>Florida Man supposedly stops for beer while being chased by police
>Florida Man blames zombie attack for throwing concrete at hotel
>Florida Man arrested for firing gun after watching Hitler documentary
ABSOLUTE MADMAN

If his defense is mediocre again then I'll be glad to see him go. Most of this offseason's news has been good though.

too bad he couldn't beat norway man's high score with bonus surviving multiplier :^)

2edgy4me

Forgive him brother, for he is of the 49ers blood. A red-blooded race of choleric chicano midgets.

Fitz never got benched on the Bills. And part of the reason he started sucking was London Fletcher shattering his ribcage. But we'll still always remember him as Captain Unclutch, because those soul sucking 4th quarter INTs were a constant factor.

Good trips

Thank you for correcting me. Also they were literally WIN AND IN and he threw an interception on the last play of the game.

Ah, I have heard tales of these hot headed dwarf people. Their time has long since passed and soon they shall vanish from the Earth; already they have been forced to fallback to the fortress of Levi's, far from their ancestral fortress-home of the Stick of Candle

Aaron Rodgers

weebs...

Ah, the Candlestick, that is a name I have not heard in many a time. I used to fight valiantly against the chicano hordes in my youth. Many a night I spent in the hoosegow there. Seating, bottles, and objects were thrown.

Is overrated

Happiest ending to a regular season that I can remember. Which is both uplifting and sad at the same time.

Yes, it was a chaotic place for not only were the performing gladiators that called it home vicious criminals but the spectators were some of the worst as well. Vast hordes of mongrels, loyal only to their local clans, no form of income beyond what they could take from honest men at dirk point.

Don't forget about this year. All Fitz had to do was beat the Bills and the Jests get in since Pitt got BTFO by Ryan fucking Mallett

That's what I was saying.

The Oakland Raiders are just so goddamn likable.

Yes they are. Until they are good. Than every ratshit Chicano beaner in the fucking world reps their gear like a gangster and innocent fans like me get labeled as scum at get jumped at games and have to always be ready for fights.

Sorry I'm kinda drunk

I'm already drunk on life.

I was so happy to see that, knowing that Marshall wasnt gonna make it into the playoffs.

I think I need to sober up then

2bh I had two Hoegaarden witbiers in the past ten minutes.

>rick and morty
>>>/reddit/

If curry was in the NFL, and he threw his helmet, how much would he be fined and how long would he be suspended?

I have literally never seen Rick and Morty. I didn't even know that was a quote from the show.

Depends, did the helmet deflate on impact?

Depends on what team he plays for.

>Cowboys

Not even called

>Lions

4 game suspension

If he played on the Raiders he would have been given a bonus.

I quoted the wrong post, I was trying to quote the guy with multiple trips

>2 cups
>2 plates
>2 party favors

!!!

It's okay.

He was more than likely aware of the helmet

For fun, I'll say he's a jet

...

He gets a humorous headline in the New York Daily News.

Talked about nonstop on E!SPN until something more interesting comes up

I meant the New York Post.

I got over that hours ago

Fake headlines
GB:Rodgers blows $200,000 on rare gold bust of his likeness
FA:Tim Tebow fired after calling Stephen A. Smith "An always angry, delusional faggot"
FA:Howie Long mistaken for former Verizon "can you hear me now" guy
ARZ:Carson Palmer detained at border after hitting BP with errant pass
DET:Calvin Johnson, Barry Sanders open up "how to be good in Detroit" camp
PIT:Roethlisberger starts fast food chain, "Big Ben's burgers and beds"
OAK:Derek Carr spotted drunk off communion wine in church
BAL:Terrel Suggs to donate gums for research
LAR:Todd Gurley gains 40 pounds as Carl's Jr. Spokesperson
NE:Edelman loses bet, sells girls scout cookies with Dobson
FA:Daniel Tosh apologizes for helping dolphins draft Tunsil
SF:Chip Kelly buys 40-acre land in Oregon

What are your team's weakness that you know off /nfl/?

Honestly, I would say the coaching. >We finally have the talent to be at a winning record, whether we finish with one remains to be seen.

>FA:Tim Tebow fired after calling Stephen A. Smith "An always angry, delusional faggot"
See, this is funny, but doesn't quite work. Uber-Xtian like Tebow would NEVER say such things in public. He'd say them at home or at church.
>PIT:Roethlisberger starts fast food chain, "Big Ben's burgers and beds"
ISWYDT

Stephen A. Could infuriate even the nicest man

-run defense
-LB corps
-secondary depth
-complimentary pass rusher

Feels not that great man.

TYBC

True, I'll agree there. I would think Tebow could keep his composure, but then again, I think of his time on the field, facing off against large angry niggas and think otherwise.

>not instantly tuning out when you see Stephen A's mouth moving

fucking playoff games man

>Oline
We'll see how they do under Cooter

>DT
Our biggest weakness last year and why they choked away games in the 4th. Quinn picked up a bunch of guys so we'll see how that works out.

>Raiders
Inside linebacker

irreversibly high standards

>3 consecutive NFCCGs, lasting 3/12 quarters against the playoff us12s in centurylink, but no owl? you're fired

Y'all want Suh back? Fat Bastard ain't done sheeeit. Hell, y'all ken take him fer free.

>yfw Harrison has a better year

ILB
inexperience

Kylo Ren kills his father Han Solo

>in a few days fucking Cleveland will have a more recent championship than your city

Could be wrong about this, but I don't think it counts if it's scripted.

>Paying a DT quarterback money

You guys deserve it. I'm just glad Mayhew didn't offer him even more

>forgetting this is Silver's League™
Watch Cleveland get refballed out of a title.

I'm just kidding with you m8, I'm not a Phins phan.

O-line, strong side linebacker, CB2,

they'll do it just for the storyline of LeBron finally winning Cleveland a championship

Who knows, who cares? I gave up on the NBA after the Lakers-Kings series. I do hate the bandwagon Warriors fans who drove up ticket prices.

>need to get rid of a hard-on fast
>think of Joe Buck calling a boreball game

>need to get hard fast
>"And it is...caught by Tyree."

>moving the goal posts

>Mitchell
>Mitchell
>Mitchell

youtube.com/watch?v=ltjIswXRAXs

I wish Joe Buck fell off a turnip truck and ceased to give some fuck (bout sports broadcasting.)

Damn, I remember that game.

>Your team
>jersey #s you love
>jersey #s you hate
>the player(s) you feel are most synonymous with your team

Raiders
12, 81, 37, 34, 93

>38, 57, 86, 74

Tim Brown

Suggs >>>> Harrison even in Harrison's prime

I still can't get over the Cowboys' draft this year. It seems like such a terrible sequence of bad decisions. It's almost like Jerrah had let the scouting department and Steven run things for the past few drafts, and then he read the papers about how everyone was doing a better job than he ever did, and his huge fucking ego boiled to the surface. So he kicked everyone out of the war room for THIS draft, and that's why they drafted a running back fourth overall and then drafted a linebacker who may never play football again.

>even in Harrison's prime
it almost wasn't b8

Suggs has 30 more sacks and the rest of their stats are comparable

naners
16, 80, 53, 52, 21, 44, 87

>15, 23, any 80 number not included, 7(?)

81 fits into both columns tbqh pham

eternal joe

Jets
12, 23, 29, 30
>9, 6, 97, 89, 17
Namath, Martin, or Revis

Oh and that's with Suggs being 5 years younger than Harrison

49ers
16, 80
35, 65, and 94
Rice

>GOATvens
>52, 20, 55, 19, 73
>don't really hate any numbers
>Lewis, Reed, Suggs, Unitas and Yanda

Sup Forums is probably too young to remember when the Raiders were still a good team, literally nothing but the scummiest bandwagoners, gangbangers and mouthbreathers. They were a million times worse and more annoying than the Seahawks are right now and for that reason I hope the Raiders will never become good agian. Fuck them.

>literally nothing but the scummiest bandwagoners, gangbangers and mouthbreathers.

Sounds like the raiders now. I remember back in high school all the wiggers were gaider fans

I remember I used to avoid the gangbangers in the stands. I'm gonna miss getting into fights with the Chicano 49ers fans. Shit was good.

No, right now only the diehards remained, which means 50 year old spics in LA who probably think Randy Moss still plays for them. Their stadium has suffered a blackout after blackout, nobody have given a fuck about them in the last 13 years but you just know this utter bandwagon scummery will begin again if they get good.

Cowboys, Seahawks, Patriots, literally all of those fanbases have been more tolerable than the Raidniggers.

>Chicago
>49ers
Wut

>10th overall pick vs UDFA
>Ten less games played, came out of retirement early in 2014
>not coming off a torn achilles
Harrison was unstoppable in his prime. Suggs has been way more consistent but Harrison's 2008 season was dominant

>Patriots

No they are literally the worst bandwagon shits out there. Watch a game where they are getting BTFO, the fans will leave at half time.

>Chicano

Suggs doesn't do roids. Harrison does