ITT: POST YOUR SECRETS

ITT: POST YOUR SECRETS

stop making these threads, you faggot

my cars friend tried to mom me in the back of my friends mom back

same

>my friends mum tried to finger my mom me in the back of my friend's mom car

check'd

same

or you stop replying

I got dubs

i enjoy killing muslims

...

No you don't

umm..ok...but I do...

Checked

Ummm OK but no you don't

o rly? but I have

I was in a car crash that left me with erectile dysfunction for three months. During the last month, I had to ask a close friend of mine to help my girlfriend get off sexually.

...

oh rly? cus moms friend carred me in the back of my moms back

fuck off cuck. she could have just shoved a dildo in her cunt but no u want her to have that nigger dick

When two other male friends of mine and myself found a pornomagazine, we shortly started having sex at sleepovers. BJ, anal, everything. We were 9 and 10.

lost my keys today. found them in the anus of OP's mom.

>its always in the last place you look.

...

Using your tongue wasn't enough?

I'm a mom, who fingered my 14 year old daughter who I personally encourage to dress sexually implicitly to turn on men, in the back of a car.

all kids do this shit.

most turn out straight.

nothing worthy of "secret" status.

I let my 7 and 9yo nephews watch me and my gf having sex. also let them shower with us

i found Op's mum in your mums doot hole

Share pizza?

jesus... you're still around?

>fuuuuck.

finally the legend emerges

fuck u they're secrets for a reason.

>the legend

damn straight. cause it's not true. and only a story that gets passed on from user to user.

None of us were, or are, gay. We just didn't have access to females. But I can't have this faggotry known. It would make for disastrous consequences.

Did she like it? How was your relationship after that?

It's true! Who would lie on the internet?

That's just..... Wrong!

I fell in love once and things ended badly. I've emotionally manipulated every girl I've dated since then.
I'm a sex addict.
I pluck my nipple hairs when they turn dark and have an obsession with cleaning my ears with q tips (a mild form of OCD)
I escorted for a while, people payed me to let them suck my cock, was a nice gig.
I'm a LaVeyan Satanist. (Not really a secret but not something I tell everyone cause people are retarded).
I have an IQ of 134 but i play it off like I'm stupid because my work ethic is trash and i don't want people to actually expect anything from me.
That and i never seed my torrents. Bite me.

Even as an adult, I still pretend. When I'm on the toilet I pretend I'm shitting in a cozy cabin in the woods somewhere or I'm in the bowels of a massive castle or fortress or something. When I go to sleep I usually pretend I am I'm an underground, fallout-type vault/bunker, or I'm in a castle. When I eat dinner or drink beer alone, I imagine I'm in some sort of Viking-type mead hall after a long day of war shit.

I don't know why I do this. I'm almost 20. I live a fairly normal life and I am a functioning member of society but I'm constantly daydreaming about fantasy universes I create. Maybe I should write a book or something.

Newfags.

Too much summer around here.

maybe

I fucked my highschool teacher.

I was homeschooled.

Keep imagining user. The world gets dark and grey the older you get. Don't ever let it crush your freedom.

nice twist mnightshamalan

Dude that just means you're a creative type, thats good.
Write a book or harness that creativity somewhow.

>implying I'm new here

similar shit here, i usually pretend i am part of an adventuring grp whose members i completely make up, its pretty fun

>I'm a LaVeyan Satanist
I can see why you would keep it a secret. You'd get so many swirlies and wedgies if that came out.

You're too new to not take the bait, so newfag.

It's called an imagination, relax bro.

I still suck my thumb

if I was your nephew
would I get to fuck your gf
if I made a pass at her?

Considered killing someone because they're loud and obnoxious about my waifu on the internet, I genuinely have feelings for her. He's another user. I have all the information I need to do it. I think I might be crazy. Talk me out of it.

dubs/trips errywhere

nice try user, now get that dick out of your mouth

More like people dont know the difference between LaVeyan Satanism and Luciferian Satanism and can't use google.

What the Fuck is a leyvan Satanist? Sounds like the vegans of satanism

>has all the information
>still user

we wont, do it, film it, post it

sometimes I wake up and go thru another fucking day without killing myself and taking out a large group of people with me. then I jerk off and go to sleep

I promised my gf to delete the naked pics and sex videos we made. I didn't.

molested. get off to it now. that is all.

A tongue can only go so far...

I liek mudkips.

No, he's right. I'd kick your ass just because you sound like a whiny bitch that needs an ass kicking.

KILL THEM AND MARRY YOUR WAIFU

Pretty much agnosticism, with the belief that every human is their own god in charge of their own fate.
And carnal "sin" (aka anything that brings you pleasure) is good and should be sought out.

How do i sound like a whiny bitch?

so the vegans of satanism, got it

And you haven't posted them everywhere...... Because?

So pretty much atheism.

come on, be bad, post it here

fucked my youngest sister when she was in HS.

>i was in my 20's.

You wish that was the reason. It's totally not that you're a group of socially awkward geeks that dress up in robes and perform atheistic rituals.

Kek, not sure what I expected from Sup Forums. Alright I'll go through with it.

Kind of.
Can't find any books Luciferian Satanism, so LaVeyan Satanism is my go to.
Nice dubs.

hows freshmen year of highschool treating ya

You subscribe to a subset group of a group of people that deserved getting their ass kicked.

Emo - scene kids - Goths - faggots like that. Their ass demands kicking. You make it worse by trying to be a special(ier) snowflake amongst already special snowflakes

More like spiritual agnosticism, but yeah kind of.

I'm literally Adolf Hitler. Could somebody please check with Simon Wiesenthal to see if we're still playing hide-and-seek?

So no God is God, but Satan is your God?

But how do you define spiritualism?

Kek

The trick is to copy them to an other folder. Then delete the first set of images. That way, it isn't lying.

I currently have an erection that's persisted more than four hours.

another

How new are you. If you don't like the shitty threads just filter them you retard.

LaVeyan Satanists dont do rituals m8, thats Luciferian Satanists.
Like I said, Google is your friend.
Also I've never met another Laveyan IRL

Edgy

My older brother passed out on xanax and jack daniels lastnight and i sucked his dick and jacked off on his cock and balls

If you haven't started on a law degree, you should.

Dat dub train.

I'm not in love with her I just want to fuck her and know it won't happen.

Now that's what I call a sticky situation!

Print them then delete them then scan them.

I stalk everyone I love and I want to stop but I just HAVE to know if he updated his social media so I sit at Twitter and snapchat and YouTube and whatever else I can find and refresh and refresh and hope he's posted something and I want to talk to him but he never responds to my emails even though I've sent him different emails on different accounts with very different subjects and fuck man I just want him to love me but I know he never will because I'm just a creepy peice of shit.

Anyone know where I can get help and stop stalking him? Just tips are good too.

No tips but have these dubs instead.

Haven't you even read The Satanic Bible by LaVey?

Since you love google so much, why not google "The Invocation of Satan"

Go outside. Engage in real life.

it just keeps going lol

Femanon?