I'm holding a graduation speech in High School in less than a week and I haven't even begun writing

I'm holding a graduation speech in High School in less than a week and I haven't even begun writing.

Help me it needs to be funny, entertaining and all that I've watched a bunch of YT videos and they've really helped me but it's not enough.

Other urls found in this thread:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=XLzBMGXfK4c
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Shalom

be very jewish.

If you kill yourself on stage, no one will ever forget you.

>funny, entertaining
not one cares. just talk

This is actually true, OP. Although you might not want to take it to that extreme, you could always take a shit on stage. No one will ever forget you (since now you're a public sex offender).

Do like MJ on his hall of fame speech
Scorched Earth, tell them all why you're better than them
Pro tip > you'll really be acting like the nigger you are

I don't want to bore them to death no one pays attention to shit like that

>literally not even helpful

>tell them all why you're better than them

I like this

tell me more

Dubs have spoken

racist jokes and bomb threats

m.youtube.com/watch?v=XLzBMGXfK4c

Do something about Islam. Or blacks

Save this entire thread at the end and read all replies in a monotonic voice.

Hello.
Thank you all for coming.
This is a speech.
We are graduating.
Dear fellow students. We did it.
Dear teachers. You taught us stuff. Not really lol.
We are not gonna be on this school anymore. Because we are graduating. That's how it works.
We graduate, we leave.
Next year someone else will graduate. And next year someone else.
This has been a somewhat ok ride.
I actually can believe we are finally here, because that is how time works.
If there's anything i want you to take from this speech, it is that we used to be students. And now we will not be.
Good luck or something.
Don't vote trump.

Show ur puss

Jesus christ can you cunts not go one fucking post without encouraging people to be racist? I will not have the entire village think I'm a racist in front of an audience of 600 people. It's graduation day it needs to be funny and light hearted

thanks f am

lol kekd

Graduation speeches are allowed to be serious. You should only throw one or two jokes in there. When I wrote mine, I had one joke and I improved a second one.

Yes of course I will have some sort of serious message like we should be ambitious aim for the stars and what not but it's the fact that people will not listen to a speech if I just go on and on without actually stimulating their senses.

>It's graduation day it needs to be funny and light hearted
well, do that. Why do you ask us and expect anything lesser than what replies we gave you? You want to be funny? how about this, order a banana costume and wear it when you give speech? nobody really cares about what you say anyway.

that's what I need help with, how do I keep it funny and lighthearted?

Bump

Funny up till the end, libfag

pls halp

Dear Students,

I approach this microphone to give you my own perspective and words that will guide me into the unknown realm of mine, and all of our adult lives.

Out there we will face challenges that frighten and over-whelm even the most collected of individuals, the adventure of our career's and parenthood await us.

This day will mark the end of one of our most important era's. It is the end of our childhood. A significant single day where a chapter is completed and a new one begins.

To all of you who have gone through this journey with me i enstill a tremendous ammount of respect, joy, and optimism for the future.

I know that in the comming years i will remember my time here as some of the best and most enjoyable years of my life. Creating memories that i will hold for the rest of my days.

To finish this little talk off. I'd like to wish each single one of you good luck in the future, we're all going to need it for the long road ahead of us.
there u go OP job done

WOW thank you man this is really useful material!

Do you know how I can keep it funny and entertaining on top of this?

Just get super stoned and talk about how it looks like you're talking into a robot cock for 10 minutes. Because from my experience the people in the audience aren't even listening.

I need MORE advice pls

bamp niggers