serious question Sup Forums
how many dicks does one must suck to get a decent job? Like a job in which a single person can live off.
>have college degree in computer field
>have good credit, no criminal background
>white male
>Spent months perfecting resume
>went to multiple job sites, recruiters, temp agencies and job fairs
I'm 3 feet away from blowing my brains out at this point. This isn't the world I wish to live in.
4,164 must be the answer
Any interviews?
dubs must be right. Thank you, this was more than what I was expecting to get on here.
negative
although I had a couple for Apple, but that was because I had a friend refer me.
Key is, dont be an autismo
...does your resume suck?
you have to be consistent. check everywhere. call around. do leg work. Unless you live in a shit area with no real prospects.
networking is good too. maybe check out some local meet and greets in your general field of interest and get your name out there.
...
What college is your degree from?
thanks, i know i have to network more.
my resume is pretty good, 2 pages long and I had it looked over by the teacher head of careers at my college. Even had a professional at Monster look at it. Job market is just trash. Might as well move to Colorado at this point to be honest.
cuyahoga community college
If you chose the right dick, then one dick is enough. It's more a question of how often you have to suck it...
I graduated as a mechanical engineer, took me 6 months to finally find a job. Just make sure you send out at least 10 resumes every single day and you'll find one eventually.
............
And you're surprised that nobody takes it seriously? You'd be better off just doing a coding bootcamp.
If you're an IT developer, why don't you try to start up something? Also if you don't already have a Linkedin account - get one
Call center.
Resumed should never be longer than a single page. Especially if you've just graduated you have no significant experience to brag about. If they're interested in the top 3 projects you've done ten they'll reach out and then you can tell them about the rest of your experience.
Lol an associates doesn't make you a college graduate.
I'll probably an hero by the end of summer. It's been 2 years already.
I couldnt even graduate college before I bad at least three full time offers.
Let me guess. You're GPA is higher than 2.75 but less than 3.5. as in trash. You don't have internships in your field, your experience is trash. You must not have a good personality or look like shit. And why would a person who is unemployed have a 2 page resume? Probably all fluff so also trash.
I hate faggots like you that bitch and moan that they can't find a job.
Yes you can, dickhole. Lower your expectations. A shitty job is better than no job. And while you work the shitty job, keep sending out applications.
Just because the world doesn't throw you shit for free, you come crying to Sup Forums. Fuck off and learn how the world works.
Let's see some of your code
I'm a manager at a midsized tech company. What is your degree in. Might hire you if you sign contract to blow me everyday during lunch. You will do it hidden under my desk but you must wear stockings and red lipstick
Go back to college and don't pick a major you like. Just ask and find out what majors have the highest number of internships in your market. Dumbass
You can't have a job. They've all been reserved for the oppressed classes.
get charisma or some balls..
Why do you need a job? This earth is plentiful and you don't need a job to live.
If you want a job, go and get a job. You don't need a college degree to do that.
I already have a shitty job but it doesn't pay the bills. I actually want to contribute back to society and live out on my own without struggling to even buy fucking food. At this point I don't know how much more effort I have to exert to get some results of any kind.
What certifications do you hold? A degree means nothing if you cannot easily show proof of your specific abilities.
just get a job. dose not matter what it is. it looks alot better if you are not unemployed. if you get a job in a company white a good name even if you dig view fore them. a friend of mine pulled this one "I work fore in the oil business, i work for shell." in reality he worked fore there gas station.
>white male
well there's your problem. Try telling people you're part hispanic or something.
You have a college degree in computing
make a profile on github and just start making shit and posting on there
get an indeed, start going to hackathons
and network, network, network man
A LOT of dick. There are no longer any good jobs in the US. Its all fast food and service industry shit. I weep for us.
>Thinking his race has more to do with this than his from "cuyahoga community college"
My girlfriend sucks off her boss pretty much whenever she's told, for days off and free lunch lol
OP the fact that people here are asking about your degree and what skills you have is your issue. If we don't know based on your posts, I doubt the recruiters do either. Do you just have an associate's degree?
>>white male
That explains your problem, you don't have h1 visa. But if you suck good I can get you a job in Oakland starting 85/yr with my company.
on top of that, im assuming you've got a BA, ba's don't mean shit anymore in the technology field. It's ideas they want since everyone is already jumping on the coding band wagon. If you want to get a good job based solely on your degree, go get your masters
Thank you.
This needed to be said.
Another entitled cunt that thinks the world owes him because he went to school and has a "sweet resume, bro"
Pay your dues, nigger... like the rest of us had to.
it's a computer networking software degree.
PROFESSIONAL SUMMARY
Information Technology professional with a strong foundation in documentation processing and problem solving. Determined, experienced and knowledgeable expert known for taking initiative, continuously learning and exceeding expectations when given challenges and deadlines.
You would probably make more money and quicker just sucking dick tbh
You will be fucked over in so many ways and not even realize it while searching for work
Experience in the field?
>Spent months perfecting resume
If you need that amount of time for one single page of basic info there is no real mystery why no-one is hiring you.
Yeah but associates? Bachelor's? Itt tech?
>Pay your dues
apparently that means nothing in today's world. It's about sucking dicks or sheer luck.
i help people with their computers on the side as a private practice.
I'm an ohiofag too
My advice, apply for jobs even if they aren't in your field
I'm a mechanical engineer but I'm about to get a job that pays slightly more a year as a manager for a marketing firm with no previous experience in the field. If you weren't hired straight out of college you will only get a job that's needed, hell getting a job setting up cable pays 60k+ a year and requires no previous experience and there's always a company hiring
Lol cuck
The number of dicks you must suck is the inverse of how many years you go through higher schooling.
You're not a "Professional" if you don't have a job. It's not your profession if literally nobody will employ you.
Sounds like you don't have very much experience from what you've said.
"expert"? you went to a community college, not MIT.
Change this shit. It sounds like something you found on a sample resume you googled. You only forgot to add "My biggest weakness is I work to hard"
associates, I could only afford to go to community college.
Then you have a hobby.
Get an entry level job like everyone else... why do you think you're exempt because of a degree?
This. Checked for truth!
Yeah that's not enough to get you a real job as net admin bucko. Try applying for help desk jobs. I'd take Oakland guy's offer
is this a get thread
fuck of kike - nobody is buying your shills today
Lol, agreed.
Also, he's never worked in the field, so how is he making the claims he makes about his competency?
OP reeks of entitlement
i've been applying for help desks. I'm just trying to find ANY JOB that is remotely related to my field. I just want something that involves using a computer or working with some sort of tech. I'm far from picky at this point, but the fact that these basic places like Microcenter or BestBuy won't even contact me back is annoying as fuck man.
Trips never lie
>Pay your dues
>work for free or not at all
another Moshe chimes in
>Spent months perfecting resume
If you need that amount of time for one single page of basic info there is no real mystery why no-one is hiring you.
Take out the necessary loans to get a BS or start some sort of an internship.
Obviously what you're trying to do is obviously not enough for what you're trying to do
Catch 22 of the tech life. Probably better off spamming small businesses for jobs till you have enough real experience.
You have to tailor your resume for each job you apply for. Make it more suited for the specifics of each, focusing on experience and skills sets rather than personal characteristics and buzz words.
If possible have a refrence or two listed on bottom , previous teachers or some such.
I have had about 8 jobs in my lifetime, starting from my first job at a Walgreens to office manager for AMD to sales and service provider for a large corporation.
I have no college experience, but I interview well and always make myself and resume out to be perfect for this specific job, not pretend I can do any job and a jack of all trades. They generally don't want someone that has too many unrelated skills or experience.
I am 25 and have worked in 4 states as I have travelled and enjoyed life thus far, I only make about 60k , but with my wife's income we have a decent life.
If you are really having trouble, try relocating or applying to jobs in cities you might want to relocate to..
Oh yes, also don't be an autismo
OP, at least you have a degree. :(
You need your A+ for those jobs. Gotta be hw certified
Start a porn website
thanks. I may have to move soon.
get a job at a hospital. The IT guys there usually suck and don't have any better credentials. but... 99 percent of their work is installing components the admins don't want idiot doctors or nurses doing, or resetting passwords for the above who always lock themselves out of the system. The jobs aren't usually advertised widely (or at all) and it gets your foot in the door. A CC level degree is just going to be tech support for people with real jobs.
Free? Not at all.... nigger, you need to accept you work help desk before you become the network admin (or whatever your specific IT specialty is).
I think your community college might have set some unrealistic expectations for you.
This guy gets it.
JESUS FUCK, do you not understand that the kind of job I'm trying to find?? I help desk job, no matter what the company would be a fucking godsend right now. I know I would never have a chance at getting an Admin job, but just something that involves computers or some fucking technology, fucks sakes!
>Posting gore
>Raging at people trying to offer legit advice
I wonder why nobody wants to hire such a socially well-adjusted person.
You could rob people
Paramedic. Zero percent unemployment in my state in my profession, though the pay needs to be better. I can walk to and from any job I want and the hiring process is mostly a formality to keep the Department of Labor happy. Feels good man.
If you have any sort of degree and can't get a help desk job, which loads of people with NO DEGREE can get, then what's the obvious answer?
You are the problem.
Either your resume isn't as stellar as you think it is, or you have an incredibly off putting personality or your approach when you apply is terrible.
But no, go on, keep think that everyone else is crazy.
Your summary is a bunch of buzzwords. It doesn't give me any info on your background or career goals.
I have a gun, but I think I'll just use it for something else.
fuck this thread and the insane amount of dubs.
CUNTS COCKS AND ASSHOLES!!!
How much time have you spent on your resume? Is it even any good? You aren't going to get an admin job til you work on getting more experience
I think your reactions to people are probably an insight into why you can't get a job.
Move out of Ohio OP. I'm a sysadmin who got laid off and couldn't find shit in Ohio. Moved to California and now shit is $$
"months" apparently.
Lol say what you think, but she works hard
Dude, you're dating a prostitute.
It's all in good fun, the free stuff I just a bonus for her
Op I think you need to just post your resume
Getting stuff for sexual favors is called prostitution
My GF works as an MA at the local hospital. Always mention openings to me for the front desk and IT night desk. Don't have degree in it but I could get the job in heartbeat. I don't take it because driving a fork-truck in a warehouse that doesn't even require a GED pays better than IT. Hell if you are that hard up just apply for a job at an Amazon fulfillment center. Might have to move or something, but they are always hiring around here.
It's kind of different though if she'd do it even with out the stuff isn't it? Like she sucks his cock because she's a slut, and then she happens to get free stuff
Talk to as many recruiters as you can. Get used to the idea of contract work, and research the hell out of every company you get an interview with.
Jobs don't necessarily go to the most qualified person, you have to prove you can learn quickly and mesh with the guys so don't come across as a dick in your interview.
And WEAR A SUIT to your interview.
She's a hot little slut too
>Like she sucks his cock because she's a slut, and then she happens to get free stuff
Slightly worse, user
May you two live happily ever after
Lol that money would have been better spent on McDonald's
Contribute eh,
>join the mobile infantry m8
>poor fags detected, also cuck
Nigger suspected
Did someone tell you that going to college qualifies you for a job? Because as far as I know college grads in America all work in the food industry
indeed trips faggot
In Columbus, OH working as a software dev and I get 3 - 5 calls/week offering positions for contract work...
This is her lol
You know nothing John Snow. Plenty of college grads get jobs, just not ones who go to "cuyahoga community college"