Just to brief you guys, i have advanced stage Esophageal Cancer (squamous cell carcinoma). The doctor gave me 3 weeks to 3 months to live, and i decided to come to Sup Forums for advice on what to do. I am overwhelmed with the amount of support from you guys, and as requested, i will be checking in every Tuesday and Friday with updates on the things ive done and how i'm doing. Feel free to ask any questions and give me ideas as to what to do before i die (all of my posts will be started with this so finding my updates will be easier)
So I've done quite a bit since my last update [5/20/16]. Thank you so much for the suggestions. First off, I went to Home Depot on Saturday to buy some paint, but they were closed so I couldn't paint any fences. Instead I oiled some squeaky doors in my house and changed a few dimming lightbulbs, which my Mom was very greatful for. I wasn't feeling too well, so I didn't get a chance to smash any cars at the junkyard. A lot of my day was spent sleeping in bed. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow to see how I'm doing and stuff, so I'm a little nervous about that. I don't really know why though.
Since I spent Saturday not doing much, I did a lot of reading and listening to music. Listened to some Coldplay, as requested, and I started reading Moby Dick (my Mom let me borrow her copy). I'm currently on chapter 5. I didn't feel well enough to climb up onto my roof to watch the sunset, so I just watched it from my bedroom window.
Sunday I felt a little better, so I went to the church down the street. I think its a Catholic church but I'm not 100% sure. As soon as I got there I pussied out and went home, though. I've been having a hard time forcing myself to believe in an afterlife, and I don't think going to church will help, so I've scrapped that idea (sorry guys). Then, I hung out in the junkyard but I didn't have enough energy to smash anything. I did pick out which car I'm planning on destroying, though. (Cont. Below)
Yesterday I felt pretty good, but my grandma wanted to see me so I spent the day with her. I watched the sunset in the car on my way back home.
Today was another shitty day, so I read some more Moby Dick and I ordered a pizza with anchovies on it (as requested). It actually wasn't half bad, but it made my stomach hurt like an hour after eating it. That might have just been the cancer, though kek. I also started writing my death note (idk what else to call it), and I wrote a small note to my friend Elizabeth (she gave me the pity blowjob) giving her instructions on how to notify you guys when I finally kick the bucket (which hopefully won't be for a while, but who knows). I've decided on Tuesdays (~5:00pm) and Fridays (~8:00pm) for my updates, but I might make it like once a week, I'm not sure yet (I'd like to hear your guy's input). It's raining out so I don't think I'll be able to watch the sunset.
Aiden Smith
Sell some stuff, buy Meth, get wasted, Fuck hooker, kill everyone you hate, steal some car, crash it. Fuck it all go on a rampage. Die while doing stupid shit and happy not while eating dick and reading pizza
Liam Morgan
wow shit
There's always a chance the doctor was wrong. You'll probably never be completely healthy again, but don't think of this as the end of the line man. You should try working at a soup kitchen or something for a day. It isn't exactly tons of fun, but when you look back on it it makes you feel good about yourself because you helped people. Also a lot of the people who go to those places are old war veterans with great stories to tell.
also also
whenever i'm sick i kind of just sit around and watch a ton of movies. maybe have a friend over and make some snacks and marathon all the movies you had wanted to watch or something.
I hope you get better Sup Forumsro.
Joseph Thomas
What the fuck you're doing on Sup Forums?
Easton Wilson
drawthreads
i spend most of my time here on /x/ and Sup Forums
Gavin Ward
Im pretty limited in what i can do considering im only 17 (pls no report, i turn 18 in like a monthish) and i live in a small town in the middle of nowhere
Yeah ive been watching a lot of movies with friends and stuff. I think the doctor is right though, because it spread through my lymph nodes so its kinda poppin up all over my body
Chase Cox
ugh. my dog had pretty much the same thing. it started somewhere in his neck and then spread through his lymph nodes. It made it hard for him to breathe and walk so we had to put him down.
It sucked ass. He was the best.
Liam Davis
okay so. i have caner in my familiy. and i have spendt 2 month trying to understand that folks i love is gonna die. so you know. hope you had a good life. Anyway ! my suggenstion would be to get some viagra and have a fuck day. i would do this if i were to die sometime soon. i would starte the day of with a shower and then just. viagra and fucking and ending the day with drugs and more fucking. not classy. but thats kinda whats in me. så held og lykke min ven. lev stærkt. dø ung.
Carson Hill
Aw I'm sorry about your dog. Cancer really sucks, though I think it's worse for the family. I'm in pain a lot of the time, but it's nothing compared to what my Moms going through with her kid dying and all
Juan Morris
I have no idea where I'd get viagra, but my sex drive is pretty low these days. That does sound like it would be fun though
Samuel Edwards
Do you still go to school are have you just decided to fuck everything and do what you want and/or you arent healthy enough to be in school and/or you're in treatment most of the time
Mason Cooper
well why don't you heighten it with natural shit and have the best orgasm ever
Jayden Diaz
I stopped going to school when my treatment started and I was suppose to go back when I was healthy again, but that obviously didn't work out. Now not only am I not in good enough health to go, but I'm dying soon anyway so I'd rather spend my time doing what I want. I am currently on hospice care though, so I'm at home. No treatment has been working so I stopped all of it because it was just painful for me.
What natural stuff would you recommend?
Ayden Morris
do you play warframe?
since death is the only possible way to stop playing, it may be the perfect video game for you in these dark times.
Benjamin Barnes
I'm never heard of it, but I'll look into it B)
Lucas Adams
you should learn how to cook
and then cook some good shit
and then eat it
or feed it to your friends and family
Juan Gonzalez
well. you could probly go to your doc and tell him you want that from life. and that your sex drive is fucked. You know. and yeah :) fun stuff! depending on where you live you could try some differrent stuff. threesome. or fucking a dude. fun stuff.
Isaac King
Church isn't for everyone, but Christ is. Read the new testament, friend, particularly the gospel of John. Believe and trust in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, He loves you and offers forgiveness of your sins and eternal life if you can simply accept such a graceful gift.
It's an odd feeling for me to preach the gospel of Christ. I used to be so cynical, so full of disbelief, so anxious, so filled with false pride. Yet, Christ was with me, and when I broke down, and turned to Him, He made me whole again. Truly He is merciful. I'll say a prayer for you OP, the Lord be with you forever and always.
Luke Wright
I'm actually pretty good at cooking. It's a little hard because I have trouble standing and moving around a lot for long periods of time, but I make cookies and stuff for my friends and family sometimes.
Perhaps. I don't know if he'd even be able to prescribe me anything though
Ian Cruz
where are you from my freind ?
Noah Ortiz
Thank you B)
I had a Bible when I was in the hospital and I skimmed it a few times. I'm not really sure if religion in general is for me though
New England
Caleb Rogers
Go innawoods, do peyote, hunt skinwalkers.
William Myers
Have you tried eating horse apples. I hear they actually cure cancer. Worked for a buddy of mine.
Parker Mitchell
well by doing some research, maka, honry goat weed, and some other stuff too, but be very very careful, im not sure if it would be good for you since its strong. Try doing a little research on how too do better orgasams, also try fucking a girl you like before you go.
Ryder Kelly
I'm not a super religious guy but I'll pray for you my dude
I don't know if anything happens when we die, but I hope something does.
Preferably something cool that also isn't literally hell.
Sebastian Bennett
Oh, I've never heard of that. I'll look into it, though I think I'm too far gone for it to help.
Alrighty thanks! I actually got a blowjob from this qt girl at a support group I use to go to. I still talk to her, but we've decided on just being friends.
Thanks! Yeah, I think a lot about what happens after death. I'm an atheist, but lately I've been trying to believe in something, just to help me cope.
Gavin Adams
Do what ever you fucking want to. It's not like you have anything to lose.
Leo Price
That's fair. I have this weird fear of being remembered for nothing/shitty things, so I've been trying to do good things for other people.
Adam Kelly
Have some Alan Watts. He puts a pretty flowery spin on reality. In this one he explains the nothingness after death. Don't confuse it with reincarnation, he is not selling that idea, though it sort of sounds that way.
This could help in a sort of religious without religion.
It's not so much a matter of whether religion is for you or not. Religion in the generic, new age, syncretistic sense isn't really for anyone.
Christ, faith that if you trust in Christ he will save you, blind, illogical, childlike faith, is for you and for all. I mentioned the gospel of John specifically because it illustrates the promise of Jesus Christ, that God became incarnate in the flesh and was crucified and resurrected to save us from our sins. If you take a leap of faith, such mercy transcends simple religion. That God, seeing our wretched plight, died for us and was resurrected, freely gave us the gift of salvation. To die trusting in Christ, beyond hope, beyond logic, is to be saved. To die cynically is to die in despair, to vanish, to disappear. I love you, stranger, enough not to sugarcoat it. Christ offers you everything, and demands only what children freely give, faith and trust.
Jaxon Rivera
Hey man. Please keep up with the posts. It's fantastic to hear your stories and day to day business. It must be so difficult for you, but thank you so so much for sharing this challenging time with us. I get why you are here! Speaking out loud / typing it out is a great way to clear your mind and get things off your chest.
I will keep an eye out for your posts. I hope someone archives this :)
Stay safe, and be sure to spread your love with who ever you can! You are doing some great stuff. Enjoying the simple things in life is what it's all about.
Best wishes, Kind regards, Much love, James (UK)
Hunter White
Whole milk and horse apple smoothie 3 times a day if you want to live. Trust me.
Mason Nelson
Well thats good, it shows your a good person. You'll leave behind a good memory, which is all we can hope for at the end of it all
Christopher Williams
I suppose that's fair, perhaps I'll look more into the Bible and stuff
Thank you! Yeah, typing out what I do really does help. It'd be nice if someone archives this so that I can be remembered or something, but I don't wanna push it. I appreciate the kind message
Milk and apples sounds a little gross, but I'll look into it. No harm in trying
Isaiah Price
Alan Watts sounds so smart and elegant, but will you trust him to save you on your deathbed?
Christ, my friend, Jesus Christ wishes to save you if you'll let Him.
I was like you once. I sought meaning in empty words. Alan Watts is nothing, knows nothing, he can't save you.
Albert Camus, the absurdist, found Christ before he died against all odds. Most likely, he realized that, faced with the absurd, illogical prospect of death, he realized that salvation can only come from the equally absurd promise of eternal life through faith in Christ Jesus. Christ is the way, the truth and the door, only through Him can you come to the Father.
Brody Stewart
Horse apples/hedge apples don't work. It's like the whole snake oil stuff. There really is nothing to lose, but you'll still be wasting plenty of precious time.
John Hall
Yeahhh. And also I'm pretty sure it'd be too late for me anyway
Lucas Hughes
No prons dude. I'll pop up and say hello if I catch your threads again. Which country are you from? James
Ryder Howard
America
Carter Reed
I am glad to hear that you are receptive to the gospel of Christ, thereby it would seem you certainly shall be saved. Read what you can from the Bible, John is a good place to start, but reading the Bible isn't what saves you; it certainly helps, though.
John 3:16 says it all, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
William Bailey
Hey, dominic, my name is Taylor. I wanted to say that all these posts kind of brings me to tears, as ive lost a grandparent to cancer before and it was really tough. So, my suggestion would be to spend as much tkme as possible outside. Take long walks, maybe travel, and just enjoy the breeze of nature. Theres something about it that feels healing, almost overpowering. Stay positive :) ill hopefully keep in touch with you next update. Jist remeber the guy from iowa, thats me! Much love, brother!
or some better helmet, watcha drone fly live hd viewing, master it before you go.
Anthony Edwards
Go live a life. Like go out drinking ask girls out fuck it Smoke some weed Take some LSD
Jaxon Bennett
I'm sorry about your grandparent, cancer is shitty. I try to spend as much time outside as possible. It's quite relaxing. I'll def remember you! Thank you!
Tyler Bell
ask for forgiveness and acept death.
Hudson Moore
Hey. I don't know you at all, but I feel for you. Make sure to give your family a fill of you before you go. They'll miss you. I'm not a religious person, but if that stuff is real, I wish you a good afterlife. I apologize if I seem the least bit blunt, but I am not too much of an emotional person. Just make the best you can out of it. Maybe listen to some music. Also, try a Hawaiian pizza, I think they're great. Best of luck user.
Luis Fisher
Woah, that's pretty cool! I'll add it to my wishlist B)
I'm currently trying to find a weed dealer in my area so I'll most likely smoke some weed before I die, but I don't think I can mix LSD with my pain meds. Same goes for alcohol
Joseph Morales
Actually having cancer in nothing in comparison to living in the third world country. Stop complaining like lil bitch. > I went to the church
What a pussy
Connor White
Thanks! I've been spending a lot of time with my family and friends for that reason. Hawaiian pizza is actually my favorite pizza B)
Asher Green
> actually having cancer is nothing in comparison to living in a third world country You're comparing cancer to living in Africa?
Noah Richardson
I am quite aware that people have it worse than me, and I am not complaining. I was also advised to do so, and theres no real harm in it considering I'll be dead soon anyway
Camden Gray
Damn. American health care is a bastard.
Cameron Sanchez
Eastern Europe, Africa etc.
Jayden Lopez
Yeah, everything was pretty expensive. Insurance covered a lot of it, but there was still a lot of out of pocket money. Thats one of the reasons I stopped treatment. We were paying them to make me feel like shit and not even have it work towards making me healthy again.
Nolan Davis
you should get some lsd and weed
Camden Jones
antineoplastons look it up maybe its your last shot but supposedly this Dr.burzinsky dude works wonders on people with no chance goodluck
Jason Adams
I'll look into it, thanks
Jaxson Richardson
In Eastern Europe cancer treatment like chemo etc is 100% covered by social healthcare system.
Isaiah Gutierrez
Hey man if you wann play some Games tell me your steam or sth, you really got dem feels going for me :'( >Pic unrelated do
Connor Cook
Bruh its gramps-cancer dude. Maybe you should just get a bunch of paint and paint your stree one fucking color just cause. Well, §orry you're going to kick the bucket soon.