Tomorrow I start first day at first job in my life. Any tips?

Tomorrow I start first day at first job in my life. Any tips?

Fuck everything up.

I can't. I really need this job

Don't date anyone at work. Don't make sexist or racist comments. Approach your work with a good attitude.

Thanks, anything else?

act like you give a damn and your boss will like you.

mustard on before the ketchup

Sure, thanks that's a good one. What if I don't know how to do a certain thing? Because my job is literally do anything they ask me at any time so what if they ask me to do something I don't know how?

then ask. If you show initiative and ask for help/how to do something "how they want it done" it looks really good no you.

Take some time to actually dress well, for the first few weeks at least

Umm, sauce?

Are you insane? Catsup first then the squiggly line of mustard.

Always flirt with every old woman.

nope only trips

What kind of job is this we're talking about, OP?

Don't cry.

Obviously in the wrong place.

Sure sure, those are all great I'm taking notes.
Kek my boss is a old lady actually
As I said I'm basically there to do whatever the fuck they want me to, clean, fix, deliver, archive, help someone else, anything.

Identify the leaders. Choose one and beat him up mercilessly, fuck his shit up, send him to the hospital. This will teach others not to mess with you. Keep to yourself, don't ask favours and make sure you fill your TPS reports every day. Cheers.

Be a yes man for the first year or so

be a NEET instead

comfortable but formal clothes

go back three spaces. do not collect 200$ . go directly to jail

Care about your work. I lead a team at work and i can attest that caring about your work, or how you leave the workplace (we clean stuff) makes all the difference.
We have a few people not worth the shit they clean up.

Cole?

Yeah, but what is the formal name of your position? Like personal assistant or something?

MOAR OF THAT RED HEADED GIRL PLOX

You're fucking stupid. Go back to facebook.

Just the tip

reminds ov my gurl im bouts to fuck.. she had red hair two

I was in a position once where I had a tiny job at a festival installing some lights at a bar. I literally walked around picking up rubbish and clearing shit away. Some dude eventually asks me if could help with something, now I'm being paid to work there for 2 weeks this year.

Moral of the story is do jobs nobody else wants to do. Also when someone gives you a job, do it carefully, do it right, and ask them as few questions as you possibly can about it. The less you ask the more likely they are to give you another.

Kill yourself now.

There's no point in waiting two years or so.

Oh, and clean up after yourself you dirty barbarian. No one wants to tidy up your mess.

Do fatties prefer anal, or is that just something I've found?

Underrated post

show up on time.

so much of my life would be easier if i had employees that showed up on time

don't fuck the bosses daughter.

whats her fucking name i fucking love her but i dont know the fucking name man

whenever someone tells u to do something substitute
>"Fuck You!"
with
>"okay"
And everything will go just fine!

What kind? I have a few anyways
> Be quick in everything you do, act energetic
> When Idle ask what to do or do shit that seems helpful but dont stand around much unless someone tells you its cool.
> Find Chad, he is very social and will usually help you, him or any coworker you can befriend soon will help a lot.
> Theres usually an asshole per job, dont feel bad about him saying something, he is necessary for the job ecosystem to be complete.
Good luck OP.

Fuck you i gotta have my morning fap or I get boners and stare at women too long.

what will you work with?

Try not to have too many "tips" for them. Like, "Oh, I know how you could do it better!" 50 times a day. Once or twice is fine. But mostly, do it their way even if it's stupid to you. Bosses usually don't care for underlings giving them suggestions and reordering things in their place of work.

-Do what they tell you to do
-Get your work done
-Don't slack off too much

I would say finish your work up early to help others with theirs once in while, but it doesn't really sound like that kind of job.

fap earlier then faggot

Not OP but I could go NEET because I have some diagnosed issues but I heard they just give you about 500 and its a painful, long process.

I'd snort her dandruff.

...

> Waking up earlier just to masturbate
Im not a degenerate user.

Look up Tiara (MyPreciousVirgins)

Would it be ok if I masturbate to these pics?

This is Sup Forums it would be worse if you didn't

call in sick