Ask a stoned "shitty church Jesus" anything

Ask a stoned "shitty church Jesus" anything.

Why in the fuck are you smoking fags ya dingus

Why do you look like Mikael Akerfeldt?

Are you open to dating men?

The sooner I die the better, if I were never born 9/11 would have never happened.

Checked

No faggot

Its a blessing and a curse

of course, look at me

You're not OP, also you're a faggot

I don't date men, I just fuck them for money.

Why, do people ask for your autographs?

How long did it take to grow your hair out? I'm in the process now and your hair looks like it's the same type as mine. Any tips on getting through the shitty mullet stages?

How do you know that?

Massage in massive amounts of semen. I get mine free at work, but you can find it in any church confessional.

No chemicals, ever. No trims, ever. No conditioner, ever. Only wash your hair every other day to keep it from drying and looking like shit. Also no straighteners or irons of any kind. Chemicals and heat make hair look like shit

Ayy, I love Opeth

I'm Jesus douche

Also its taken like 7 months after shaving my head and donating my hair.

fuck yeah

Ask a real jesus anything

Lol im the fag that called you the "Shitty church jesus"

I usually condition my hair once a week and then use oils in it with alcohol and sulfate free conditioner, but I don't use shampoo. I've been getting the back trimmed in the hopes that I can let the top/sides catch up and attempt to cover up my mullet. I'll try to keep to the other ones, but no trims is going to be a stretch.7 months isn't bad, I'm on month 3 so I guess I've still got a little bit.

Make your own thread you fucking Jew bastard

Thanks man, I wear the name with pride

>bush-beard different color than head hair
sure sucks to be a cumskin and not have god-tier arab hair genes at the least.

How does it feel being better than OP in every way?

Bro, the conditioners you use have more chemicals in them than hair dye. No conditioner, unless its Tail and Mane that shit will make your hair grow twice as fast and twice as thick, use with caution or learn to rock a jewfro

Church Jesus, will I marry her?

Have you ever fucked the baby in the pic behind you?

No, not because she says no, but because marriage is for pussies. Jesus only raises wolves, if you chose to be a lamb then I will beat you until you become a wolf.

Does that really work? I'm down to give anything a shot if it'll help me power through the last couple of awkward stages. I've been taking biotin in hopes that it'll make my hair grow faster, and I've noticed it's thicker, but I can't tell if it's actually growing faster.

Nah. But considering its me I guess I have jerked him off a few times.

Are we related by cool facial hair?

I used Tail and Mane for like a month if that, had to cut my hair a week later because it got so fucking thick I felt like I was running a fever until I cut it. Like I said use with caution

is your dick bigger than 6 inches?

No, you're a faggot for trying to pull off the Suit and Tie Satan. Only I have the power of such facial hair.

Thank you church Jesus for your acknowledgemejdent

bless my dick dear INRI

I've never measured it honestly, I didn't know people actually did that until I started using Sup Forums

No, shitty church Jesus thanks you, for not being a rootie poo candy ass new fag. You're still a fucking Jew though.

I am a carpenter not a fucking priest. You want some fancy ass faggot Jew miracles go to church I dont have time for this nigger shit

...

U smokin purple haze?

Just ordered some on Amazon to give it a shot. Thanks Shitty Church Jesus. Party on.

Nah. I only use concentrates, which I make myself with shitty church Jesus' homegrown super sticky holy smoke.

Bet your name is skyler

Word to your brother, motherfucker

Close, my name is unisex. Give it another go

>shitty chuch jesus
what does that even mean?

You use to be dedicated to academics and now you spend your days getting high and writing shitty music

Just a nickname some fag from Sup Forums gave me

Never dedicated myself to anything except getting high. I dont write music, I'm not a queef gobbler.

why don't you kill yourself

I'm not nigger enough