I am going to buy some groceries to put up my butt. What do you suggest I should buy?

I am going to buy some groceries to put up my butt. What do you suggest I should buy?

turnip

pineapple

sharpies

Anything shaped like a Penis.

Go for a coconut fagget

Watermelon

Checked

Get a watermelon or a pumpkin

Whole, no cheating faggot.

A durian

If dubs a whole coconut

Watermellon

courgette
eggplant
well formed bottles (fill with warm water for maximum niceness)

Watermelon

Glass jar

Drain cleaner. Squirt it up the ol' shit chute.

Custard apple.

Pour some vinegar in your ass

OP will never deliver any of this

that sounds good,
thanks

at least nothing that will leave irreversible damage

Coconut oil for lube. Works really well for anal stuff. Look it up if you want.

...

Cuckcumber

Frozen pizza

Make some chili pepper anal beads and insert as many as possible.

Make sure you don't brake some shit off in there. Or well, you can always hope to shit it out. Doesn't always work though.
Then again, hospitals deal with "stuff up ass" a thousand times a day, so don't worry.

Deep heat. Or any other muscle warming gel

jalapenos

One of those big cactus leaves mexicans eat. I believe its called a nopal

The Quran

Those make amazing anal beads. They are also self lubricating.

a dildo.

That's a dude..

my dildo is similar in appearance to this one.

pic unrelated but look at my captcha

You're a dude

mailbox in asshole

put a knife riiiiight up in there

Don't do this it will damage you.

says who

The knife doctor told me.

Homemade coconut.

Buy a nigger

Pizza

Peanuts
Just skip the middle man.

miga is that an arm

Watermelons, and shampoo for lube

A stick of butter will glide right in and once you're finished you can just smush it up your poop chute.

lobster

lel