Cashier story thread

Cashier story thread.
Got chewed out by an old lady today because she didn't know her PIN. Also she was in a mobility scooter so Everytime she had to reslide he card she had to stand up and groan like a cunt. She kept saying she wanted to pay with debit so I said then put your PIN in and she would just keep fucking hitting credit. Then he card would decline and we went through this cycle like 4 times before she finally gave up on the PIN and just slide a credit card that worked. How do this fucking retards get by everyday.

...

social security, welfare.. she probably gets disability for being so obese.
Death by McDonalds is more appealing to some than working for a living, especially when you are this stupid.

saw someone do this a week ago and it made me want to smack the retard.

Wish I could get paid by being a fat unemployed leach.

Nah juke jam is the best on the mixtape

The customers I get are usually pretty nice. However, I did get a pretty funny one once. There was a deal with Coca-Cola and Pepsi that if you got 4 of the 12 packs you could get them for a reduced price. HOWEVER, you have to get four of one brand. You can't get some Pepsi and some Coke. This women had to have me tell her four times before I called a manager. Then she had to explain it four times. She spent the rest of the checkout yelling at customers "YOU CANT MIX BRANDS!" Pretty funny.

I feel bad for the other customers. They aren't paid to be there like me. Some kid's screaming and they just have to wait for this retard to figure out how to slide a card.

I especially hate the parents who are more immature then their five year old. Shit parents piss me off.

I had a bitch recently who was getting two family size Oreos and 2 boxes of premium crackers. The deal was you get 2 family size Nabisco products and you get a pack of water bottles for free. So only one pack of water bottles came off and she starts yelling about how she got 4 nabisco product so I told her that the crackers she got were not family sized and she would have to get something that was. She says "well I want those crackers and they don't have a family size for them." So I said that the deal doesn't guarantee that every nabisco product has a family size it just means that if you get two family size you get free water. So she just says she wants to speak to my manager and she comes over and just fucking gives her the water.

Had a woman shit in the store. She walked by pushing a shopping cart while I was ringing other customers up. Without breaking step she shook her leg and two nuggets of shit fell out of her pant leg. Then just kept walking like nothing happened. I didn't realize at first what it actually was until a coworker said something.

Yeah, they'll do that. Keepin' em coming back is there job. It works pretty well, too. I work at a small (and the only in my town), grocery store. I just try to be as apologetic as possible. If you work at a Walmart, though, fuck it. No one wants to be there.

Where the hell do you work, user? Jesus Christ. Difficult to believe, but still hilarious.

A thread that doesn't suck ass, damn, keep it going.

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16. answer is 16. not hard enough user

15 nigger

A winrar is you.

14 fucking koon

Apple =10
Banana = 4
Coconut = 2
10 + 4 + 2 =/= 15 (nigger)

the coconut and banana are 1 short in the final equation (shit skinner) its 14

Customer catchphrases 101
>Oh you look bored need something to do?
>You been waiting here for me?
>Hey don't put the bread under the watermelon you fucking cunt.

I work at a chain of gas stations nearby my house and the same fucking people come in every day and get the same things-

lottery tickets, alcohol, and cigarettes.
the old people are the worst, they buy lottery tickets, leave the store and go to their cars, then they scratch them off sitting in the parking lot taking up space then come in, cash them in, and demand more. this happens 7-8 times per every five people that come in. also, people who don't hand you money, instead they throw the shit on the counter and expect you to peel off the money from the surface in a quick and timely manner.

Apple = X
Banana = Y
Coconut = Z

3X = 30
X = 10

X + 2Y =18
10 +2Y =18
2Y = 8
Y = 4

Y- Z = 2
4 - Z = 2
-Z = -2
Z = 2

X+Y+Z = S
10 + 4 + 2 = S
16 = S

EVERYTIME. I do need something to do most of the time, and I am bored, so they are right.

...

>ha you're wrong
>I know why, but I'm just gonna keep it to myself because of how right I am
Thanks for contributing, new friend :)
Also, it isn't my fault you failed eighth grade math.

Old cashier story when I work at Wendy's
>Working cashier
>Oldish looking guy walks in and ask for dine in
>He wants a number 1 but instead of a drink he wants a chocolate frosty.
>Ring up his order tell him his total.
>He looks at me and the price and ask me why the price is not the same on the board.
>Explain to him first there is tax and the small chocolate frosty is .25 cent extra
>He doesn't understand why changing something in the combo cost more since the frosty and the drink are the exact same price.
>Call my manager and he tells him the same thing i told him.
>He gets mad and said he doesnt want his food so I give him his money back.
>Manager takes his food away and guy get upset saying he wanted his food.
>Tells us to go fuck ourself and take a frosty and shove it up our ass.
>I tell the guy have a nice day
Good times.

I just hate hearing it all the time. And we got our new chip reader machines but you can't actually use the chip yet and I'll cover that shit up with a note that says "slide card" and they still say oh can I use the chip. Like yeah motherfucker just punch your card right fucking through the stickers blocking it.

4 bananas equal 4 so 3 bananas would equal 3. 2 coconuts equal 2 so one coconut would equal one. The answer is 14

a faggot ass smoothie

Post the pay youre getting per hour im getting 15.6 pesos so less than 1 usd per hour at a Ley in Mexico

Wendy'sfag here.
Some bitch comes in, orders her shit and it costs about $8 and some change. She pulls out her wallet and is flipping through bills (she had 5's, 10's, 20's) and what she gives me leaves her about 20 cents short. I tell her so, she gets pissy and says she doesn't have it.
"Well, I'm sorry but I can't sell it for less than the marked price". Big sigh from her, and she grabs one of the bigger bills.

Not an exciting story, and not even a huge problem, but bitch I get chewed out if my till is short and I'm not gonna take that in the ass just because you don't wanna have to carry around a few extra quarters. If it's such a problem, put it in the Dave Thomas adoption foundation collection jar right in front of the register.

I'll spell it out for you
Apple + Apple + Apple = 30
3Apple = 30 (obvious algebra, not sure how else to put it)
Apple = 10 (divide both sides by 3)

Apple +Banana +Banana = 18
10 +2Banana =18 (we already know what Apple is)
2banana=8 (subtract 10 from both sides)
Banana = 4 (divide both sides by 2)

Banana - Coconut = 2
4 -Coconut = 2 (we know banana is 4)
-Coconut = -2 (subtract 4 from both sides)
-1Coconut = -2 (simple algebra, self explanatory)
Coconut = 2 (divide both sides by -1)

Apple + Banana + Coconut = ??
10 + 4 + 2 = ??
16 = ?? ( you're welcome, new friend)

nice work nigger

Our's is broken, too. I don't cover it, though. I just tell them that it's broken when they try to use it. Pretty funny, though. I can just seeing some fat woman on a scooter pushing it through the sticker and asking why it won't work.

>That's a good year!
God fucking dammit...

Yeah see I like to think that our customers have a unique ability i like to cal l selective reading where they can look at words and make a conscience decision about whether or not they want to read it.

Customer: THATS MY BIRTH YEAR RIGHT THERE ON THE SCREEN! ITS MY TOTAL AND THE YEAR I WAS BORN ISNT THAT SOMETHING MAGICAL!
Me: hey that's pretty good.

Also an acceptable answer.

From my younger days

>manage chain pizza shop in nigger infested ghetto
>summertime 90 degrees out
>fat sweaty nigger beast comes in and orders
>give her total
>pulls cash out of fat nasty sweaty tits
>i_aint_takin_that_shit.jpg.exe
>chimpout proceeds
>demands manager
>I am manager, you can leave now
>huffs out shouting threats and obscenities
>no fucks given

you raciest nigger hater.

i fucking punch out nigger cashiers, leave the fucking shit on the conveyor belt, and walk out slowly like a boss, feels good too

>8$
>has 5's 10's 20's
>20 cents short
I'm not sure money works like that, user.

When I tell people their total and it's something like $7.88 and they just hold out a handful of change and expect to just pick out .88 cents out of their hand. Makes me fucking livid.

w-what happened to the pizza?

>That'll be seven dollars even.
>Bet I couldn't do that again!
Bet you could if you bought the same shit.

Motherfucker. Can you explain to me that passive aggressive shit every cachier ever does where they selectively pull things off the belt to scan to mov the belt as slowly as motherfucking possible?

It's the most retarded ass bullshit I have to deal with in my life. Move the belt motherfucker - it's like your one job - machines are doing the rest.

What are you fucking retarded? She just didn't want to break a bill for change.

here

Thank god they don't cost extra at my place, we'd get so many people bitching about that. We already get a lot of people bitching about how the frosty is only 12 oz when the normal drink is 20.
Telling a fucking asshole who's really pissed to have a nice day is satisfying. You know you're being a smart ass, they know you're being a smart ass, but they can't complain about it. "Hey manager! This employee just told me to have a nice day! Fire his ass!" Doesn't sound quite right.

Another story. I'll greentext this one.
>Working register, it's pretty slow right now
>Couple in their 40s or 50s comes in, guy and his wife
>Talk to guy a bit, he likes to talk a lot, probably doesn't get away from the wife much
>Mentions he used to be a stand up comedian but never really got to take off
>Wife says "oh no..." and starts shaking her head
>Guy starts telling jokes and making funny rants and other shit stand ups do
>I'm laughing, other cashier cleaning trays is laughing, guy making burgers is laughing, single customer in the dining room who walked back up to the counter to listen to jokes is laughing
>Wife is standing there with her face in her hands like she's embarrassed
>Finally she grabs his arm and is like "LET'S GO, sit down and eat
>The guy fucking apologizes to me, and they go sit down and eat and he doesn't say another word the whole time they're in there

Gee, I wonder who fucking killed his dream of being a stand up comic? What a fucking cunt.

"I want the manager!"
"I'll be right back!"
>Stomps and ducks to look as though you're going down stairs
>do the reverse, with a smug ass look on your face
"Hello, I'm the manager."

Don't be a dumbass. She had singles too. The point is she had well more than enough to pay for the shit and tried to tell me she didn't have it in an effort to get out of getting her wallet back out to pay that extra 20 cents.

They are trying to group certain things together so their down syndrome bagger doesn't put a watermelon on top of bread.

Aren't we edgy!

>$8 and some change
>and some change
>total was more than $8 but less than $9
>ohgodohgodimfuckingretardedohgod

>customer service
You poor bastard. Don't forget to smile.

This

there is also when the total is something like $50.50 and the customer says "I should play those numbers on the lotto"
Good luck staying poor.

Thank god I live in a damn near all wgite town, but
I work in the bakery dept of a regional supermarket chain for about 4 months now, and the only terrible one was some old bitch picked out a small (maybe 6") gluten free cake
>falling for the gluten jew
And asked me to write "Happy 75th Birthday Richard" on it. It was way too small a cake to write all of that, and when I tried, granted it didn't look great, she looked at it and came back like 2 mins later complaining that she didn't want to pay full price for a "terrible looking" cake. Ended up re pricing a $20 cake to $12.50

i got those big fuckin sausage tits on me, they get me angry sometimes

I do that myself. I carefully curate the order of things I put on the belt for maximum efficiency.

Perhaps others aren't as considerate as me, which I why I suffer behind those fools.

It's called sorting your groceries so they don't get crushed you fuck

Yeah, I just found it a little funny. People on my town aren't very greedy, though.

sounds like you're a shit customer

Me: how are you?
Them: good, you?
I'm great!
>only say that in a vain hope to feel great

Trust me we don't assume the customer has put any though whatsoever with what they put on the belt. You sir are the minority.

While my customers usually do that shit, if it's a palindrome, I do that shit in my head. I guess I'm a little retarded like they are.

>falling for the gluten jew
To be fair, user, some people are genuinely allergic to it. Look up celiac disease, it really fucks up the intestines, gonna have horrible stomach pain and diarrhea like a motherfucker for a few hours and too much of it over a long period of time will give you lupus.

>20 down to 12.50
Holy shit, why? Could she really not pay at least 15?

ahhh thats bullshit

you are missing the point. Analyze the picture, not the math. Your math would be right, if you were dealing with only 3 varibles

Nice quads

damn... them feels

No it's not, user.

Unknown. There is no way to solve for the single coconut and the bunch of 3 bananas

Oh shit, I am the retard. I thought they were all the same. Fair enough.

you can only get checked out as fast as they scan you dont have to race to have all your shit on the belt.

i bet your one of those retards that guns it when the light turns green and then brakes at the last possible second at the next light.

Sure there is.

4 bananas in the first bunch = 4
2 half coconuts = 2

subtract 1 banana or 1/4 = 3
subtract 1 half coconut or 1/2 = 1

fucking right i am, sailor

Does anyone else hate serving Asians? Where I am we're in a college town, so we never sell booze to groups unless they all have id. Asians are the fucking worst at this. Plus they always try to debate on prices when they can barely speak English. Like seriously, I had an old gook lady attempt to argue for like 15 minutes over a few cents. They Jew out over little stuff like that.

You can't seriously get disability from being fat..can you??

That reminds me of how it was in the army, always in a huge hurry to go somewhere just to wait for something and if you didnt need to hurry you waited untill you needed to hurry.

Make the men's dream come true. Kill the wife. Then, meet him "coincidently", go like " hey you're that hilarious guy and go forward to talk about how funny he is and was he a former stand up comic. Try to make him relive his talent in the absence of his wife

But that goes beyond what was given by the proof. It is like dealing with x, y, z, l and t variables. Without the proof telling us what the other two variables would equal, it is impossible to determine exactly what the variables would be.

For as much as Brits make fun of fat Americans, they're the ones who offer benefits for obesity. To my knowledge they don't do that in the states.

Welcome to the us, you can be on disability for being too fat, too tired, too anxious, and a million other bs reasons.

thats assault brotha

using more gas and brake to not get home any faster because your travel is dictated by the traffic and lights.

you dont get out of the store any faster cause you have all your shit on the belt. you have to wait for the slow ass cashier anyways. just slow down speed racer.

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>Be me
>Work at a Ross store as a general sales slave
>Ross has a senior discount day on Tuesdays. Only Tuesdays.
>Be working on a Wednesday
>Old woman comes into store
>By "old" I mean, she was supposed to croak a decade ago, but had already grown so senile by that point that she didn't realize it at the time
>She manages to find a dress that had somehow gone unnoticed in the store for what must be half a year
>Normally rang up at $119.99, now $0.49. Yes, less than fifty cents
>Asks about the senior discount
>She gets legitimately mad because I don't give her the 10% discount
>On the wrong day
>On a dress that's already at a 99.996% discount

I know the same feeling I put the money back down on the counter and look them in eye I don't give a fuck that's how they treat me same to them

I have kind of a similar one. But with less feels.
>Be me.
>Workin inna Best Buy.
>Elderly couple comes in to look at home phones.
>Both browsing though and I ask if they need help. Husband says "Sure" as wife walks up with cordless phone.
>First words out of the husband's moth are 'That's the ugliest phone I've ever seen."
>oldladylaughing.png
>Wife puts the phone down and husband picks one up.
>They decide to take said phone and start to step off towards the lanes.
>As husband turns around wife pinches husbands butt.
>They turn around and give each other this sort of 'Oh you..' look.
>Laughing on the outside but I'm crying on the inside.

It was adorable and made me realize that I may never experience that in my golden years.

Ayy2
My nigga

> be me 25 years old
> Friend gets me a job because nibody will hire me after multiple assault charges
> Get along with co workers can even ignire most of the shitty customers
> Fat troll woman comes in
> She is jnown for complaining about everything even the store owners hate her
> always asks if we have paper bags like we're hiding them from her
> Store has gas perks program
> Told by the manager its not my responsibility to remind customers to use their card.
> mfw troll comes to my line
> asks for paper bags then asks me to tripple bag everything
> Doesn't use card.
>That will be 24.39
> pays with food stamps
>I hand her receipt
>Without missing a beat whips out perk card
> Did you take scan this?
> of course not you never gave it to me butthey can add it if you tske it to the service center
> Grabs her bags in a huff
>mfw she says "youre getting oaid to do a job you should do it right."
> losemyshit.png
> I tell her her life must be shitty if she hasto trap store clerks to fwel superior to something in her miserable life and that shes welcome for my tax dollars that paid for her food.
> only got a write up
> Didnt get fired
> Never saw her come in again

The worst I've had is an old woman who clearly didn't live in the area ran her food stamps card, not having enough in it. I told her that she needs to run it again so that I can take all the money that is in there out. She refuses and hands me a 100 dollar bill. I take it, thinking she didn't want to use food stamps, and gave her her cash. She thought that I already took the money out of her food stamps card, which I explained that I didn't earlier. My manager takes her over to the service counter after I gave her her cash. She then proceeded to lie about how I didn't give her her cash, even though they both saw me hand it to her. Not much, but it's the worst.

Worst I've been through, that is.

>be me with shitjob
>customers are alcoholics and cigarette addicts (like all convenient store customers)
>one old bitch got mad because she tried getting gasoline, cigarettes, and she used a coupon which couldn't be all in one transaction.
>explain to her that this will need to be two different transactions
>she rages
>calmdown.jpg
>she storms out thinking she bought the cigarettes and gas
>technically stole the cigarettes
>check out the rest of the customers
>bitch 3000 storms back in, can't pump her gas
>"ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME THE GAS I PAID FOR??"
>"Bitch, you didn't pay for anything. You stole those cigarettes"
>"That's bullshit, I'm calling the manager on you"
>She leaves
>Hours go by and a cop comes in and asks questions about some methhead stealing jugs of water
>Bitch comes back in with full rage
>"Oh look, a cop to make sure you give me what I paid for"
>Explain the cop the situation
>Look at security cam and register transactions
>All of this for cigarettes and gas. Don't smoke kids
>I was right, she stole the cigarettes
>Also turns out, she was drunk this whole time
>Cop escorts her out with talks of drunk and disorderly charges
>I give in my 2 weeks notice
>Now work for garbage company, picking up trash
I honestly like it.

Hey man, with that nine cents, I can buy one tenth of a candy bar!

>Be me
>Work at shitty supermarket
>Broke up with GF the night before
>African Nigger comes to check out
>Gets mad because I'm not smiling
>"Why don't you smile!" "You are supposed to smile!"
>I tell him I don't want to
>He tells me I'll never become manager
>African people are the rudest people alive
>Fuck Niggers

The 2nd blessings is up there too