Stupidest things youve done while horny

Stupidest things youve done while horny

...

Killed myself.

cheated

Did a Dutch oven on my girlfriend.

Kek

Ate child pizza

This is now a get thread.

Check em.

Fucked a watermelon

Bump

Bumparu

Broke into a girls apartment. Stole her purse and blew my load inside it. Then put it back.

Kek

Sharpie in the pooper

this tbh fam

Story?

Greentext plox

Tell us the story fag

I fingered my best fucking friend in public.
I'll greentext if you want.

Greentext please

Story

Dressed like a girl and got fucked in the ass.

Followed the links...

Greentext please

your mom

stole every pair of panties from my best friend of 10 years along with her vibrator

>be me
>live with my parents cause ima neet >be horny
>see bannana
>shove it in pooper
> feelsgoodman
> climax
>scream "fruity feels good in mah tooty"
> mfw mom opens my door after hearing my screams of ectasy

Bump

What the fuck

Put your dicks away, this ain't gonna be hot.

> Be me
> Highschool senior
> Spend every Thrusday with my best friend
> Let's call her Ramona
> Ramona and I go to this shitty fucking pizza place after school
> Normally we walk around, shoot the shit, have a good time.
> Ramona is fucking brilliant, honest to god, she's still the smartest person I've ever met
> Found out a few years ago her IQ was 140
> Back to story
> We're spending time together, and I'm a horny as fuck senior
> We normally cuddle behind this one building that no one ever goes into
> We both like cuddles, but she's uncomfortable with PDA
> Whatevs.jpg
> One day while we're cuddling, I decide to be a little shit and grab her tits
> She knows I'm a fucking asshole, she doesn't give a fuck
> ADHD as hell
> Start playing the tits like bongos
> She's laughing and shit
> I start moving one of my hands down
> I'm just on autopilot, man
Cont?

Moar

More

fingered animal pussy

What animal?

Bump

> it's 20 years ago
> I take my hot new blonde gf ( who has 38dd's with me to pick up a quarter pound of pot in this small town that has their own bs police department.
> we are in a vw van I had been restoring.
> I come back to the ban from picking up my stuff and she says she's horny.
> I pull into a random parking lot and take her in the back to fuck her.
> she's naked on the back seat and I'm banging her as hard as I can
> a flashlight shines in the van. Voice tells me to open up.
> I slide open the door and the cop shines his light inside at my gf. Tells me to move to the side.
> I'm shitting cause of all the weed.
> gf tells the cop she's always wanted to be fucked by a cop
> cop puts me in cuffs and in the back of his car
> disappears into my van for 20 min.
> comes back out. Let's me go. Tells me he never wants to see me again
> go back to the van. Gf is naked in the back. I drive off while she tells me about how he fucked her

> I move my hand down to her thigh
> Start moving up the inner part
> Her face starts contorting into this little "I'm trying not to show how horny I am" expression
> I think it's funny to watch
> Move hand all the way up
> Pussythroughleggings.png
> Start rubbing
> Holy fuck her face is hilarious
> I just keep on trucking man
> Move hand up, down past the leggins
> Handfulapanties.rar
> Call me morbidly obese, cause I'm lovin' it
> Push panties out of the way
> Christopher Columbusing that clit, man
> She gasps a little
> I don't know why this is still funny to me
> That black hole radiation is visible on its effects to my hand man
> Call me Steven Hawking with the Dewey Decimal system, cause I fucking index that hole
Cont?

dogs and horses

CONT

Pet Cockatiel

Cuck

Ew

Cont

Yo, I g2g, but if this thread is started at the same time tommorow I'll post the rest.
Peace out anons.

Moar

key you fingered your cockatiel?

But why?

cause I'm into that shit. dog pussy is hot

Whatevr

Any stories?

Also, for the record, if ya'll wanna beg for more dumb shit I did while horny, (protip, there's lots), call me Deweyanon or some shit. IDGAF reference the story.

i know its taboo. I've only done it when i was super horny or the opportunity presented itself.

no stories really. there have been times where i was hiking and some random dog would be way the fuck out in the woods randomly. and so i would finger it if it let me

This thread will be posted again around 2:30

Ur mum

Upskirted lots of girls in target and Walmart.

Okay

Bump

Prayed to shrek the ogrelord

thats hardcore

I know fam

Shrek is love

Shrek is life

I made a cum hamster but then my dad found it

Hahahahaha
A sandnigger might've stolen my tie but this made my commute home a lil better.
Thx Sup Forums

That was called for. Well played.

Pour shampoo down my urethra.

But why

Wtf

blew a guy behind my apartment.

Story?

Told a girl how I felt about her, hoping it would bring me closer to sex.

Kek

I was 12.

surfing CL horny and drunk. Posted an add and got a bunch of responses. picked out this older super hung guy. picked him cause he was a lot older than me so I knew we wouldn't ever bump into each other in a social environment . sucked his big uncut cock. busted in my mouth. swallowed. felt shame and went to be.

Underrated Post

Fag

Meh, still get more pussy than you do, fag or not.

Shreked someone from behind

>get more pussy
> is a fag
Wut

that's my point virgin. see like this. My dick inside vagina.

How was the oldman cock

Huge and uncut. He was clean showered so it was actually nice tasting. Never saw him again. was a drunk horny impulse move.

cap'd and fap'd

>be me
>be 14 or 15
>be horny as almighty fuck
>home alone
>go in sister's room
>dress up in her clothes
>fap in front of mirror
>cum buckets

Kek

>be taking a shower
>wash ass with shower head
>little spray of hot water shoots up my hole
>feelsgoodman
>do it some more
>couple of wet farty bubbles squeak out
>get hard
>push shower head up my ass and spray boiling water on prostate
>balls starting to twitch
>suddenly I'm ejaculating semen and diarrhea
>boiling diarrhea shooting from my mouth and nose
>bathroom flooded with septic half-digested food and semen
>sister comes in, starts writhing on the floor massaging stinking semen mix into her vagina
>don't you ever knock?
>she starts giving birth to puppies
>every puppy has my face

Cuck

Kek

Yeah.If you stick your finger deep enough into a cockatiel's ass,it's like using a finger puppet.

kek

Checked

you fucking nigger
godspeed

>be 15 years old
>on school trip to a fucking zoo
>animals and so forth
>go in elephant house
>oh god it smells so fucking bad
>stench of elephant shit is burning the back of my throat
>feel something grab my waist
>elephant picks me up with its trunk
>srsly wtf
>forces me up another elephant's vagina
>for no good reason I get naked
>walking round inside elephant's womb
>holy shit my sister is in here too
>suddenly everything starts shaking
>look out of hole in cervix, see huge elephant penis thrusting in and out
>we both reach down elephant pee hole and massage it from inside
>feelsgoodman
>it's throbbing and pulsing
>hot steaming semen starts to erupt over our arms, flooding our womb prison
>I punch my sister in the tits for a laugh
>she is so turned on
>massaging elephant cum into each other while I punch her tits and kick her in the cunt
>we're still in there
>zookeepers push sandwiches up elephant's cunt for us
>we have wireless internet in here

>be 13
>Have huge crush on girl for a year
>Sit near her all the time
>When i make jokes, she always laughs
>One day I take her to this spot on campus at lunch
>Touch her boob
>She takes her shirt off
>I take my pants off
>she sucks my dick
>i start fucking her while she blows me
>I came in her pussy and her mouth at the same time man

Kek user

> be 25
> summer
> family vacation
> got bored and curious
> opened a fake fb
> joined local gay hookup groups
> bi curious first time
> very manly physique
> holy shit it's raining messages
> pick one guy that's not a douche
> he's closeted gay and not a pretty one
> too late now
> tells me not to worry
> i pick him up with car
> we go to a remote place
> stopped the car lights off and i'm nerveous as a slaughterhouse chicken
> he rushes my lips
> oh god no that wasn't what I expected
> play along
> makes me suck his medium sized but good dick
> we frot and stuff
> i bend over
> no lube
> he slowly inserts it to my virgin ass
> IT FUCKING HURTS
> I literally scream
> tell him to stop
> he stops then starts grinding my butthole
> cums all over
> chat a little then he invites to his house for tomorrow
> no fucking way
> never contact again