I'm bored as fuck so I'm just gonna tell you all about autistic shit I did in my childhood. Add your own if you want...

I'm bored as fuck so I'm just gonna tell you all about autistic shit I did in my childhood. Add your own if you want, I don't care.

>Be me
>About 10 or 11
>Playing LittleBigPlanet
>You were able to make your own levels, and publish them to the wider PSN community
>People who made popular levels became community celebrities
>decide I want that """"lifestyle""""
>Don't want to have to work for it, all my levels are shit
>Have an idea
>Befriend a popular creator
>We talk about different level ideas, just so I can gain his trust
>Start acting distant after a while
>He wonders whats wrong
>Tell him I have lung cancer
>Tell him I caught it from second hand smoking
>Say I have a week to live
>He makes a memorial level for me
>Become posthumous celebrity
>mfw

I'll post more, I don't have anything ese to do.

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Bump because I'm intrigued

>Be me
>about 6 years old
>Mum spends a summer doing a course to learn how to be a teacher
>Dad is working
>My older female cousin is babysitting for the three weeks.
>Her and my older and younger brother
>Normally we liked her
>She was not our mother though, so we make her life hell
>Laugh at all the meals she cooks us.
>Make fun of her friends
>One day we dress a big teddy bear in my younger brothers clothes and threw it out an upstairs window while she was looking out the window below.
>We made her hate us forever
>Laugh at her when she cried.

What the fuck was wrong with us?

When I was 12-14 I would join yahoo chat rooms and jack off on cam for creepy old men. I also recorded a video of myself and put it on limewire and left it there for about 2 weeks before I realized I could get my parents in a ton of trouble. I've been wondering if any pedos out there still have images/videos of me from back then.

>Spend a whole summer watching forrest gump
>One viewing a day
>Knew the script inside and out
>Sometimes watched it backwards by rewinding it and shouting the lines as they'd be said
>Pass up social events to watch Gump
>mfw I regret none of it

I was at the mall with my mom and I made her smell my finger that was in my ass

Did something similar, but it was happy feet. No idea why, but I was obsessed with that move for a solid 6 months and watched it at least once per day.

>Once me and my brothers set up a cult for the neighbourhood
>We worshipped a mattress, and a drawing of the mattress
>Whenever someone knew would be initiated into the cult, we'd pour a cup of water over the drawing
>"""prophecy""" said that whoever was initiated upon the breaking of the drawing would be the chosen one
>mfw the faggot kid was the chosen one
>mfw we disbanded our cult the day after our messiah appeared

did this with Dude Where's My Car

I wish facebook had that feature

And yes, a number of people almost certainly have your video

What feature? Chat rooms?

Dude, when I was like 7/8 years old I watched Forrest Gump every single day. I still know every line to that fucking movie.

I don't know why, but I kinda like to imagine those videos still exist somewhere. I never showed my face, so I'm not worried about ever getting recognized.

>10 years old
>Little Big Planet

Underage B&

>Heard my crush saying the feeling of shaved legs was the best thing ever
>Sperg out, think she means on men as well
>Agains my parents advice, I shave the front of my legs bare, shiny bare
>Back is still hairy as fuck
>Next day, crush mentions the smooth legs thing.
>I curl up my trouser leg and reveal my handiwork.
>Stunned silence.
>"A-user.. ehy did you just shave the front of your legs??"
>Say that I didn't want to look like a freak
>mfw I look back on this

Lbp came out 2008. Even if he was 10, if he played it the year it came out, he would be 18 right now.

LBP came out in 08. 8 years ago.

Failure

>so I'm not worried about ever getting recognized.
Yes, because someone would stop you and say "Hey you look like a kid I used to jack it to!"

boys jerking on cam at randum

I don't mean recognized today, I mean if someone knew me as a kid and saw the video.

>Capture frogspawn
>Wank off into it
>Want my sperm to fertilise the eggs
>Wanted frog servants to make girls like me
>Remember planning to have them attack my crush, and then having me save her i a choreographed fight scene
>mfw no frog babies

Who the fuck saw your naked body when you were a kid and who the fuck would remember what it used to look like

Idk man, it was just a passing thought. Don't over think this

These are my favourite threads now

you can't possibly think this if you can produce sperms

I'll overthink it all I damn well please ya eat more twink

I did though. I saw no reason why we couldn't crossbreed. This was when I was 12

Khris? I was watching it with you bro

I ain't Khris. I appreciate another Gumper though.

He was my best friend. Moved to Arizona in 96 and I lost touch with him.

well its adorably twisted i suppose

>be me
>be little kid, 7 or 8
>wouldn't eat much, mom wanted me to eat healthy, I refused
>must have developed an iron deficiency
>one day decided to take out all the spoons and lick and suck on them
>the metal tasted so good
>put them back
I dunno to this day why I would do this so often.

As in recognize his face you inbred

What the fuck is this thread.

Autistic shit you did as a kid.
You must be amerifat because your critical reading skills are gr8.
first sentence op posted m8.

Holy fuck this must be what getting old feels like

>be me at 4 years old
>Stay at my nana and papas house cause mom has kancer
>cousin with meth head mom stays there too
>he touches my wiener and sucks on it too
>tell him no but he keeps making me
> made me uncomfortable so I told my dad
>Dad yells at me and takes me away
>mfw I see him at rare family events to this day
That was the gayest shit of my childhood.

>be me
>8-9 years old
>'sex education' at school
>sheltered christian upbringing
>what the fuck is sex?
>seperated by gender and age
>go to classroom with teacher and 50 boys my age
>teacher - "now does anyone know what an erection is?'
>get really excited
>i fucking know this one
>my hand shoots up
>teacher picks me
>"thats where Jesus rose from the dead!" I exclaim proudly
>moment of silence
>teacher loses his shit
>has to go outside to recover his sides
>everyone laughing at me
>face red as fuck. Dont understand whats so funny.
>see another teacher approach ours
>mustve told her
>both look in at me and lose shit again
>twf jesus wasnt erected from the dead

Interesting. Continue...

>Wonders if someone still has it
Nice try FBI

>Be me.
>Best friend with this girl I've known since elementary.
>Also friend with a guy name John.
>All three of us are close and grew up together as friends.
>Practically inseparable.
>Ended up going to the same University together.
>Despite being together never thought of my best friend romantically.
>Always felt like she was a sister to me.
>Chill together at my apartment one night.
>John is drinking a little to much and ends up persuading my best friend to take off her clothes.
>She does it.
> One thing led to another and we're all naked.
>Ended up having a threesome.
>First time having sex, so I'm losing my virginity to my best friend.
>Finish and tired so we all pass out.
>Wake up to realize what just happened.
>Weird as fuck but we laugh it off.
>Even though we're friends, all three of us agree to form a mutual friend with benefits type of pack.
>See nothing wrong with this idea.
>All of us are single and have sexual needs.
>Continue our friendship normally with the occasional sleeping together every now and then.
>Winter comes.
>John has to leave and go work in another city for the semester.
>I assume the threesome is over and that the sex was going to stop.
>Best friend calls me and asks me to come over to hang out with her.
>Go over expecting to watch a movie or something.
>She's naked and wants to have sex.
>Wondering why since John is gone.
>She says why not? We can just continue with the both of us.
>I can't argue with that.
>Continue the FWB thing with her.
>With John gone, I start to hang out with her a lot more.
>Not just sex but also doing regular stuff.
>Start to develop feelings for her.
>Tell her how I feel and she's okay with it.
>She tells me she use to had a crush on me.
>Take her on multiple dates.
>We're a couple now.
>John is back. We haven't told him yet that we are dating.
>He's been asking us when we can hang together. He's been looking forward to our usual threesome.

The numbers...

Also kek

That's cool, but also awkward as fuck.

Kill John and run away to Germany with your soon to be wife!

...

>be 8 or 9
>Absolutely infatuated by sticks
>Any sticks
>All sticks
>I'd pretend they were swords and smack trees with them
>Would play out fights with inanimate objects
>One day a lady comes outside
>Notices me
>Asks me nicely to stop smacking her tree with a stick
>I cry and scream
>"IT'S A SWORD"
>As I run inside.
>Later on, I'm playing with my favorite stick
>Girl my age decides to throw a rock at my stomach
>It doesn't hurt
>I'm just horrible with people
>I start crying and screaming
>She comes up and breaks my stick
>I die inside and punch her in the face

I'm not sure why, but I loved sticks.

wtf.

>be 12-13
>lie in bed in front of a window
>take off my clothes like a stripper
>put my feet on the window
>stretch my asshole open
>twist it from side to side until I came
>didn't understand I could cum from touching the d
>thought nobody could see me
>window faced trees and a windowless part of a neighbors house
>cum buckets
>look out window
>raccoon watching from a tree branch
>he's touching himself

>cumming from twisting your asshole from side to side
???

I try this alone and it doesnt get traction. So here's how i ended up not being autistic
PART I: THE GREAT SPERG
>I was 12 years old
>I was the mist hated kid in school
>The others called me faggot and retard every day
>I find a group of people who seem to not be stupid enough to bully me
>I sit with them and greet my new friends
>"Listen kid, you aren't our friend. You're nobody's friend."
>I said I would kill them all
>One of them laughs and says "Like you could even pic up the gun
>I rush to the bathroom
>I'm crying, but i try to calm down
>I suddenly feel a strong urge to shit
>Shit tears through my cheap knock off clothing ruining it
>I ditch the clothes and sprint through the hallways
>I search rapidly for a room
>The music room is empty and the lights are off
>I rush in and hide behind the piano
>I sit there and sob for a bit
>I hear a noise
>It was the fattest kid in school and he too was sobbing and naked
>We began to talk
>The bell rings
>We return to our hiding spots
>The music teacher comes in as does the class
>I remain hidden, but the fat kid gets noticed
>He sprints out but falls in the door
>Everyone is laughing and staff are showing up to deal with it
>I see the kid who mocked me earlier
>I charge at him with a pencil and stab him, before running down the hall to an exit and then to the dumpster
>I hid there until 4am
>I walked home in shame

PART II: THE BUREAUCRACY STRIKES BACK
>Come back to school the following monday
>Interestingly the incident seemed to be forgotten
>After a half hur in first period I'm called to the office
>I walk down knowing whateve i do now i'm fucked
>There were a few filled out Office refferals on the desk and a nice stack of statements
>Cunt principal decides to speak first
>"You realize why you're in trouble"
>Sarcastically reply
>Get lectured for disrespect
>The kid who I stabbed with a pencil comes in
>"Now i need you two to both write statements
>I ask him why we cant talk
>"Just write statements"
>"Hey dickhead, why cant we talk?!"
>"Just write"
>I'm getting pissed off.
>Decide I'm not going to write this BS
>Kid i stabbed comes into office first
>After a HALF HOUR of this shit, I get called in
>He calls me in and hands me my referrals and tells me I have a 8 day suspension.
>I ask why I cant explain myself
>"You declined writing a statement"
>I sigh and wait.
>Notice the refferal for the kid i stabbed
>He gets a three day suspension for his involvement
>Mfw

PART III: LOCKDOWN
>Mom was schocked
>She just ranted incoherently from the time we got in the car to three hours later
>She didn't want a justification and she left me alone
>Until a couple hours later where she told me to get in the car
>I wondered what this was, as we drove to a part of town I'd never seen before
>I'm lost and wondering, and it seems the area we're going to is somewhat iscolated
>We drove up to this building
>It had walls and a gate, and i wondered what the hell it was
>After some waiting I was escorted into the building by a stranger
>After having my shit taken, and taken into my room i realized where i was
>A mental institution
>I began to get pissed off and I punch the bed and shit
>The room is damn near empty, except for a bed, a desk w chair, and a shelf wih some old ass books i didnt bother reading.
>After a little while I get to go to this group thing where I really just got upset at the world
>The only thing I liked about it was this wierd bipolar bitch named gwen.
>Gwen and I got along well and talked until the event ended
>Each room had a number, and I was in room 203.
>She was in room 220 which was down the hall on the opposite side.
>After the session was dinner and thats when my time became shittier.
>The food was fucking disgusting. Like little ceasers would be god's gift compared to this shit
>After eating that a feeling of emptinees loomed over me, and before i knew it I was back in my room.
>I awoke at god knows when to find Gwen in my room.
>I was wondering WTF was happening
>Counselers had room keys, and it wasnt hard to get them.
>Gwen and I had a lengthy discussion on lame shit that you only talk about when you're desperate for contact.
>"Listen Gwen" Have you ever thought about getting a key to the main door
>"No, user Only the security have them"
>"Security are shit. Some lazy fucker must give you a window of opportunity.
>Gwen says she'll think about it

Shut up you fucking teenage homophobe

...

PART IV: BREAKING THE CHAINS
>Next day during breakfast we discuss our plan
>Gwen said she knows some "antisocial" kids who hate this one fucking counseler
>If they were pissed enough at a moment they'd go apeshit
>Nothing aggrivates like shitty first impressions
>I throw them some food, and as a fight almost breaks out it's resolved.
>As we're being escorted back i notice something in my pocket
>A room key and a note
>When i get back I open up the note with some room escape instructions.
>Sometime later we're back in our groups and the kid who almost kicked my ass is there
>I decide to flick some pocket lint his way, and throw in a booger or two
>Hell breaks lose
>The kid sprints at me, before the counseler pulls him back
>A couple of his friends join in and security there tries to resolve
>Its a bit much and more come in
>in the chaos I notice some keys drop
>I grab them quickly
>Just as I think i've been noticed Gwen starts flipping shit, and draws focus

PART V: ON THE RUN
>Its 2AM
>Gwen comes in the room as expected
>We move through quickly and quietly
>We unlock the main door
>I breath fresh air
>We keep running for sometime
>After afew hours of walking we find some stores
>Gwen and I have no money, so we go back a bit into the forest (Live in MD so trees everywhere)
>We find a nice area to lie down and sleep
>The area has a tattered backpack, which Gwen decided to make use of
>Morning comes
>Stores are more active
>Gwen steals some shit
>The town isnt too big, and we decide to keep walking as we have not many other worries.
>She managed to get shit to help move us forward
>As we keep on moving the areas become less iscolated
>Basically we alternated between walking around finding places to take shit from and sleeping in the woods
>This was all a great bit of fun
>My liking to her grew and I couldn't bring myself to Imagine fate afterwards
>On the third day all the fun came to a stop when she decided that it was time to think about getting home.
>We didn't really know where we were, because what was town was large and undefined, but we needed transport
>We decided to get a package with some candy bars
>We go door to door selling them for a good price as a "School fundraiser"
>We managed to get a decent amount of money that day
>Area has a nice bus system, and we decide that we'll seperate tommrow
>We eat at the mcdonalds for dinner

>Little Big Planet
>10 or 11
>Little Big Planet came out in 2008
Holy shit, i thought you were underage, its actually been 8 fucking years since 08, damn

PART VI: CLOSING THE RING
>I wake up the next morning
>Gwen Gone, bag Gone
>I find a folded piece of paper similar to that with the key
>I pocket it and get moving to a bus stop
>I get on a bus, and not long after things get familiar
>I get off shortly after, and walk the rest of the way home
>Knock on door
>Mom answers and is beyond shocked
>Tell her I got out, and Ask when I'm ungrounded
>Tfw stil in trouble
>Go upstairs
>Open note
>Its really vauge and All I could really draw is that she had shit going on and had to leave earlier for some
bullshit
Well, atleast she wrote a statement

U wot m8

Check'd

Did basically the same thing with Weekend at Bernie's. It seems weird as fuck now that I think about it.

and thats fuckin it? what happened after the officials realize you broke out of a mental institution

Now, I'm not exactly the one responsible for shorting that shit out. After a fuckton of bullshit I didn't bother to learn about It got sorted out.

I did the same shit man. Its fucking weird

I use to stalk this bitch until she found out.
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