Stuck at Uni

>Stuck at Uni
>Can't get home until my bus on sunday afternoon
>No money
>All my friends are already gone
>Almost no food
>One potato
>A sack of flour
>A bit of rice
>Five pounds of oatmeal
>Misc spices
>Trying not to starve to death

What do?

Go through the dumpster behind a fast food restaurant after closing.

> cha-ching

Phone home or be pretty hungry for a while.

Potato in pooper.

Find a party each night and just gorge yourself on alcohol until you no longer feel hunger

This is why you need to be working fast food. There is a shitload of good food that is thrown out that you can take. They say it's "stealing" but I think that's bullshit.

cum in a cup and drink it
>there's no other way

boil the oat meal for breakfast tomorrow and Sunday, have the potato for dinner tomorrow, look up a recipe with flour and water and just eat oatmeal whenever you get hungry

maybe I can make some sort of shitty bread. I do have sugar.

Call up friends and ask for a supply drop.

Sneak into recently vacated dorm rooms and steal whatever they left behind.

Attempt to make friends with other people still at the university and ask if you could trade some of your food for theirs. This will probably lead to them just giving you their food out of pity.

Look for student/staff lounges. Just walk in, grab whatever you can carry and leave.

Plant the potato for future generations and just eat the oatmeal.

suck dick for cheeseburgers

...

credit card

You can't survive 2 days on more than 5 pounds of food? Fat tub of shit

>Go to a McDonald's in a gorrila suit with glock 17.
>niggers like glocks so it makes your disguise more realistic
>point the gun at the cashier and yell
>PUT THE MEAT AND THE FRYS IN THE BAG BITCH THIS AINT NO GAME
>they will be confused but they will obey
>when the go to get the fries command them to get them with their bare hands
>If they resist shot the nearest employee in the ankle or wrist
>kek as they scoop french fries with their french fried forearms
>kill everybody in the McDonald's
>Go home and eat
>shit it out and post pics for my sexual pleasure

Its pretty easy, OP

Go outside and find some nice place for a fire,

grill the potato and eat it

If it was five pounds of normal people food I would be fine, but it's literally just carbs. I'm pretty sure I need at least some protein to survive.

Call J.J. Wentworth 877-cashnow

Hunt squirrels

>877

Ayyy lmao

Post your PayPal and beg. You can sign up for PayPal credit and use it to have food delivered via eat 24.

Oatmeal should have some protein in it. In any case, for 5 days you'll be fine.

Snort lines of black pepper.

Post ad on Craigslist. Someone will take you in, plus free sex

Which uni you at mate?

Put potato in sock.
Find chubby qt 3.14 walking alone in the quad.
Knock her out with potato blackjack.
Rape.
Steal all the cash out of her purse.
Eat like a king.

I mean, if I'm going to knock somebody out I have much better tools for that than a potato in a sock.

Fake as fuck.

First off, everyone has a credit card, and if you don't have a credit card, you are fucking retarded. If you do have a credit card, but are at its spending limit, then you are extremely retarded.

If you are so retarded (see above) that you can't order food on your own, call and ask someone who isn't retarded to order something delivered to you, and you can pay them back later...

I only have a debit card

Break into vending machines, visit the flea market. Tell food vendors you are hungry. Post your location, if you were local I'd take u shopping. I don't expect anything in return (no homo) I've been a broke person too. Hustle harder.

Water flower pancakes

You don't need much to open a PayPal credit account. Even a super low limit will get u food