Allright Sup Forums, ITT: things about you, that you'd think only you could say

Allright Sup Forums, ITT: things about you, that you'd think only you could say

>got a handjob in a natural history museum

pic unrelated

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=ToQ8PWYnu04
twitter.com/AnonBabble

a few months ago i would say "heroin addict freemason" but i was just in rehab with another mason so thats out, guess im not special anymore

anti-racism from north carolina

guy on Sup Forums who doesn't like feminine penis

>lost my virginity in my GF's dad's truck
>in front of the Nordstroms at scottsdale fashion square

Of course everything was closed.

I won $2400 on cashcab.

>lost my virginity on a hill
>she came but I didn't

waaaaaaat?? really?

kek

i hope you are not lying

ive had sex in a mosh pit. twice.

>I haven't lost my virginity because I never lose

beat this

>Lost my virginia at my gf' exbf house

lel ur an sc00b get #rekt m8 fuk u and ur gey famly 2

>dat grind doe

explains why you never lose weight either


>pic related
you're going to need this

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME

damn, fucking fried him man.

rub ur own clit bitch

I don't need to lose weight, I have 80 kg at 190cm

I masturbated on the roof of the rock and roll hall of fame twice

lol right
punk shows rule dude. nobody cares. or they all care way too much in which case you dont care. either way get drunk and find a slut and givr

i once got really sick and was hospitalized, so they needed to insert a urine cath in me, and while they were inserting it, i got hard

i thought it was a normal occurrence until i actually went into the medical field and realized that nobody gets hard during that shit

I masturbated in my grade school office over 5 times

I'm the dad to a miscarried kid of a 14yo girl AND the dad to an aborted kid of a (different) 16yo

all within 8 months

>12 year old girl cousin fucked my dick when I was 14
>this kept going for 4 year's
>I called and treated my cousin like she was my girlfriend for 9 year's
>My mom and dad didn't even blink an eye
>they knew
>at least they know I'm not gay
>My family is very well off and not from the south
She was my childhood puppy love and then she turned into my little fuck doll, it all stoped when I was 17, she told me that this was wierd now.
>She was acting really sweet with a another cousin
>She's fit and really fucking hot/cute
I don't know what to do with my life man, wtf is wrong with me?. I feel like she's not attracted to me anymore, I'm not on my game like I used to when I was younger, I got skinny fat and I'm not as confident.

When I was 18 I made a bomb out of Potassium Nitrate, Sugar and Sulphur, and when I was heating the composition it caught alight and blew up in my face sending me 2 meters flying back of my chair.

i almost got jumped by a bunch of smash players

>fucked my dick
>my dick
>dick

you didn't change at all, youve always been a non-confident skinnyfat guy

from the story, it sounds like she was the one in complete control of the relationship ( "she fucked my dick" , "she broke up with me because she thought it was weird"), and its just her going through life hopping on dick willynilly while you got stuck in the crossfire

>;^]

Imarried a woman who had a therapist that induced a suggested alternate personality. The second personality was rational and could express innermost feelings in a way that made me love my wife more. Eventually, her conscious personality ask that I not communicate with her other personality. I respected her wish.

My 13 year marriage ended 5 years later. I have good reason to belive that her request was to allow her to cheat without other self reporting it to me.

Since this is Sup Forums, it was like having a harem.

I actually have a plan if i was to die in 24 hours

> call every drug dealer in my phone
> call every friend in my phone
> right fucking NOW
> dump bank account immediately
> somehow get involved in terrorist organization
> get suitcase nuke
> 20mm sniper rifle
> call neo nazi friends
> call biker bros harley&sport
> post 4 chan Sup Forums
> get told go an hero
> ignore
> neo nazis take multiple suitcase nukes to federal reserve building
> with help of bikers
> do the worlds most dangerous drug burundanga
> go to confession (roman catholic autistic faggot here)
> take my personally owned akm pattern rifle
> finally go alpha and kill ___________
> insert in blank all the stupid motherfuckers who ever doubted me
> run from cops
> news story be like
> dude had good aim
> BLOODBATH
> contact old yakuza contact of mine
> give that motherfucker respect and shitton of $$$$$
> tell him to take care of my family like it was his own
> take 20mm sniper rifle
> go to /k/
> ask what do
> tell yakuza dude to make it fucking happen
> watch fight club one last time
> in the end when pixies where is my mind is playing
> slip off to death while the world around me becomes scorched and barren
> any questions Sup Forums?

made me kek for some reason nigger.

nice dubs

did you have sex with her while she was in her alternate personality? did her conscious personality get jealous?

fag

cool story, edgemaster

seriously, cringe as fuck

Masturbates in a theatre restroom when I went to go see Kung full panda 2

nah fuck her in the bathroom tactical bail from concert and go get fucking wasted on weed in the park

>48 hours later

Why do you guy's alway's make me want to kill myself?
I'm a cute baby face faggot, and your fucking right, never saw myself that way, but it's true, she alway's fucked with my emotions by flirting with other guy's.

top kek
9/10 for fight club / end the fed
WTF is burundanga

Gay experience thread

Ill start:
>last week i went on to grindr for shits and giggles
>looking around, ready to leave
>sudden message
>its from a guy who looked pretty good
>im bi-curious so i decided to talk to this guy
>after about an hour we decided to meet
>some time later i'm at his house
>he wastes no time
>he was real attractive, so I felt less awkard kisisng him
>he then started to undress
>i started to have second thoughts
>but I undressed as well
>his dick was a nice size, but i couldn't imagine fitting it in
>we start to get into it, him rubbing me
>I stroked him back
>he said he would bottom for me
>I felt much less scared
after some prep, i entered.
>very warm and tight.
>feelsgoodman.jpeg
>i ended up finishing a few minutes later.
>I left shortly after,

I was very nervous for most of the time. It felt good, but I found myself looking up for a lot of the time. Im not sure if I'm gay or if I would like to recieve. anyways I just wanted to get that off my chest.

What are YOUR gay experiences Sup Forums?

I won a Nintendo DS from a "Stacker" arcade game. One of those cheesy $1 games that have ridiculous prizes that no one ever wins. Twice.

I fucked my ex-wife in a museum in San Antonio once. We were there too see an exhibit of some of the original Nightmare Before Christmas sets and figures. Museum was previously a mansion, so we went out into the center court yard to sneak a smoke. Since we were hiding anyways she asked if I wanted to bang. The rest is naturally history

Ouch

well, you need to be aware of your own problems before you can even hope of fixing them. See? I did you a fucking favor, faggot. This is the first step to the rest of your life

Now post her nudes so I can fap to them

> vice did a docu on it
youtube.com/watch?v=ToQ8PWYnu04

> pic related

Probably spamming Little Mac or some shit

I hope you find her.

I notice how you felt the need to point out you're not a poor southener, like that somehow makes your story better. Parents with money and nice jobs doesn't prevent you from being a little inbreeding faggot. Probably a fucking California. Jesus Haploid Christ m8

I had sex next to my GFs blind and mentally retarded sister.

I shit at least 6 times a day and was only recently informed that this is more than most people do.

They're not little shits either. I have clogged a toilet with nothing but shit before, no paper.

im a waifu trainer

...

rowdy. like how retarded? enought to where she didn't know what was happening?
I want to see your stomach apron you fat pos

I got drunk with some members of a Taiwanese mafia. Spent most the time taking the piss out of them, they paid my bar tab.

I had a dream that I found an almond in a river and planted it. My grandpa ripped it out once it sprouted. Can anyone explain this?

Therapy or bleach might be a good solution.

I stole a coke and some chips from the summer home of a saudi prince while he was away

>>I want to see your stomach apron you fat pos

I weigh like 140 pounds and I'm over 6 foot.. I think my body just sends everything I eat straight out the other end. I spend like 2+ hours every day shitting.

Yes, but the second personality was more of a cuddle type. Her normal personality liked sex a lot, which also seemed to include other men. However, in a highly suggestive state, I often made secondary erogenous zones particularly sensitive, but that would be unrelated to the induced multiple personality.

As I wrote, I think that the conscious personality worried about revealing indiscretions. I only understood that in retrospect. Otherwise, I can say that my wife knew and had to cooperate to enter a state of high suggestibility. I never suggested the forget command that you see in stage acts. The resulted in the secondary personalities knowing everything about the others, but the conscious personality not being able to imagine what the other personalities are like.

One day, she investigated on her own and 3 of her personalities wrote me a lovely little book. Years after the divorce, when I looked for it, I couldn't find it. The only physical evidence that I had was gone. I presume that she broke in a stole it.

Image is relevant: Graduation from the U. My mother took the photo--1930 Kodak Vestpocket camera needs guess to focus

I'm a somnologist, It means you're gay

wat sort of weeb bullshit is that?
Noice. I once had to rescue my severely fucked up friend from some mexican mafia dudes on a south texas beach. He walked up trying to sell them palm frond rosaries because palm sunday or whatever. he ended up hitting on the most senior vatos chick. they had him in the van by the time i walked over. i apologized and offered them some of the tequila we were drinking that night. they let him fuck off and gave me a line of bomb ass coke. everything worked out

She's not exactly appropriate for this site.
And I would never allow that type of content any where near me or my stuff...

You're a somnologist, that means you're gay

I asked my mom and she was as confused as I am. I seriously need an explanation, I'm (ironically) losing sleep to this

lol you just turned 18 and she's still underage. what a faggot

the fact that you're obsessing so much over a gay little thing like that means that it isnt the dream thats the problem, its a broader, underlying problem like you having anxiety disorder or some kind of personality disorder, in which case you'd need counselling and some meds

C U C K E D
U
C
K
E
D

What? Why would he do that? Go on the internet and spread lies?

Checked
Also I'm on 100mg wellbutrin, 100mg trazodone, and 150mg sertraline daily.
I also really REALLY want to fucking kill myself and be done with this stupid fucking life thing. Also I've consumed a lot of alcohol so fuck off

I won a 70s style chopper bike from same stacker machine. Owner of arcade offered me £150 cash instead of it but I took the bike. Got stolen less then a year later

>Implying I would ever had a kid with her
>implying I can breed
I have Varicocele
(a third ball lump in the scroutum), I can't have kid's with normal intercourse and it's fucking great!.

Nice!

She never got close to any guy when she was with me faggot.

>Implying

Oh, so it's alcohol abuse. Figures. Stop drinking so much you queer