Feels thread

Feels thread.
I'm feeling a little down because it seems like i'm mediocre at everything i do.
I mean the real life doesn't concern me that much besides the job but i'm a gamer and i can't seem to advance in any game i play further than what should be the middle ground.
Dota : 4k mmr.
LoL : Plat.
Starcraft : 100 apm
I know it's nothing serious but it still sucks.
What's on your mind user?

Don't leave me alone anons.
Not on the internet.

As far as I know becoming better at something, especially games, requires you to get into that game. You don't just play a game again and again normally then become the top rank you know. If you want to become a challanger in Lol you would have to play it all the time. So if you are not perfect in something that you do normally it's because you probably can't become better at it unless A) you spend time on it and B) You have been playing it normally for a long time and even then you need to dedicate some time to it. Don't worry user, you can't be the best at everything.

but i wanna be the best at something.

You can be the best at something but if you choose something random there is a high chance that you won't like it. Find something that you like naturally and start working on it. It doesn't matter what it is just dream big and you will see that you are drawn to it without your control. Don't say I can't do this or I can't do that if you want something work towards it and no matter how big it is you will become very successful at it. If it is a game then just play it. Get a group of friends if you want but play it and always try to make yourself better, learn from your mistakes and be honest to yourself.

>tfw absurd taste in music
>my room looks like shit
>fat belly, not in shape, yet I don't look like shit
>some friends, I guess

I'm kind of not okay.

what do you mean by absurd taste in music?

I'm beyond the hipster or Sup Forums, mango.

I play dota. Waay too much actually. 3k hours I play at a 4k skill level but I cant seem to rise about 3,3 because of the fact that most people in ranked dont want to be carried. After every game ill rewatch it to see where I could have played better or look on dotabuff to see my stats and everyone elses'. Pretty sure its just about having a passion for something and putting time and effort into something that makes you get passed average. And besides, 2k is the average dota 2 players mmr so you're higher than average.

All I think about is killing myself. I hate my fucking life. I just woke up from a dream about committing suicide and here I am on Sup Forums. All I want to know is if the farthest rail on the train tracks will shock me or if I can just lye my head down becasue that's the only real method I have access to that is fast.

If you're mediocre, it means your efforts are mediocre. It's hard to hear but true. Talent is just another name for passion.

The people you look up to work harder than you do, if it doesn't seem that way, it means they also work hard at making it all look easy.

Compare it to youtube personalities, it seems like dead-easy work, but you neglect that these people are usually obsessed with developing their personality and always dripping with charisma, of whatever sort.

The gamers you look up to with 400 apm, for example, use auxillary training to get faster, likely play piano or something and do exersizes that echance their ability.

So, if you want to shine brighter, work harder. Good work gives you more energy than it takes in the long run, it makes you grow, so don't be afraid you'll burn out.

why do you want to kill yourself?

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oh brother
the Time will come
when you have no more joy in Video games
not at all
then you will hate yourself for not had live your life
travel
donne stupid things with friends
had drama wit girls.
nothing on earth will be able to fill this hole
knowing you missed the most important thing in life.

My life is fucking horrible. I have nothing. Noone gives a shit. I have no desire to do anything anymore. I don't want a fucking future for myself I just want to stop thinking forever. Fuck this world. I just want some advice on how to do it that's all. I don't need to talk about it

what do you mean by "noone gives a shit?"

well here i am again, gotta be once every month now. drinking by myself, no-one to talk to but Sup Forums. whats troubling you guys? maybe i can talk you through it or just help get it off your chest?

Well I'm taking antipsychotics twice a day and my psychiatrist heavily implied that if my symptoms don't get controlled in the next 2 weeks I may get my driver's licence medically suspended. So thats weighing heavy on me. I know I am dangerously reckless when I'm manic but I don't think I can cope with losing my autonomy like that.

no-one gives a shit. One day you'll realize it. no0one gives a shit some people just pretend to cqare more than others but if you died today you would be forgot within the year. No-one will think of you, no-one will care. Life is meaningless and shit, we just force ourselves to be happy by distracting ourselves from reality.

not sure what antiblahblah is but maybe just try alcohol? keep yourself tipsy but not smashed?

Antipsychotics. ie prevents delusions, hallucinations, mania. Alcohol doesn't cut it, and mania is basically your going deciding it wants to be coked the fuck out without actually being on drugs.

I am the guy who posted about the girl M, and her odd friend R.

Well I texted her asking her out on a date, making it known that it's as a date. No response yet, been 14-15 Hours already.

Don't know if she even read it as it was sent as a regular text and not via iMessage like usual with her.

fuck sorry man dont think i can help.

* your brain, not your going

Noone gives a shit about me. And the people that "do" (they don't really care) will just go on with their lives as if nothing is different when I die. Look I don't care about my reasons. I'm literally having dreams about killing myself I can't take this shit anymore I just want a way out. Can somone please help me make it quick. I'm only worried that if I put my head on the farthest rail of the train tracks I'll either get shocked or won't die. Can somone help advise me?

Then fucking do something thatll matter. No regular person is remembered for more than an year after passing. Those who are remembered so long after deaths are those who actually did something that mattered instead of suicide.

try and avoid suicide at all cost, the way i see it if your life gets so shit that every day is absolute misery to the point that death is better, than just leave evrything. Throw away all political views religions beliefs, sexuality and just go somewhere else. Suicide is 100% death, at the very worse just join the military or travel the world whilst high and meet new people. The way is see it death is the end of everything, not just pain or happyness but everything. Try and find something better

you're fucking stupid

i'm the opposite, i can't seem to bother with little details. this even got me into much shit lately in life. caused an injury cuz i forgot i needed balance, probably sent a wrong mail out because i forgot to stamp them, crashed an expensive vehicle because i forgot to double check.

i'm clumsy because i like to live in my head, and when i live in my head it usually helps pass the time.

I just don't care anymore. This world has done nothing but break me down. I've been an incredible person. Nothing matters. 100% death is what I want. I don't want to fathom anything anymore. I want to be gone

Unless your a theist, you're counting on there being NOTHING once you die, right? Nothing. Surely life with all its hardships and misery included, is better than just no existence. That's the thought process I use. Even if you feel down, savour the good parts of each day. Because at least that will make you happier than just being totally gone from the world.

No its not worth it to me. I can't take it anymore. Life is fucking miserable. I've done everything I possibly could to try and be happy and this world has made it impossible. Fuck this world and fuck life. I do want no existence. That is perfect

user open your fucking eyes, you see people around you being happy, why can't you?
You're telling me you're about to make an innocent guy go mad because you're that much of a faggot to throw yourself on to some train tracks to stop the misery?
How about you be logical, seek professional help, take meds, and drop the edgy nihilism. Fuck, look at this user here
Do something meaningful, make someone smile, open your eyes to what's present. Let someone else in, instead of your head telling you the worst shit possible. You have so much opportunity, go join the military, or contribute to man kind. Eventually you'll look back and realise that you were just broken, we've all been there. God speed user, don't let this be the last I hear from you, I'll make a responsiblity to remember your words, even if I don't remember your face.

saw this an hour ago, it made me cry because it brought back memories of my childhood when i diddnt have a clue what the world really was

Met a qt a couple months ago. We really hit it off and started talking. Then started seeing each other. As far as I knew it was going really well. I never wanted anything serious but she was attractive, we got on really well and I wanted to lose my virginity.

She broke it off earlier this week mid conversation, pretty unexpectedly. And it's affected me tons more than I ever would've expected it to.

It genuinely bothers me so much. At first I assumed it was because I was so close to fucking her but it never happened, but the blank feeling I've had since it ended hasn't gone away. I think it's genuinely hit me on an emotional level. I saw her the other day and I felt so fucking weird. Really don't know what to do tbh.

I know it's a really generic feel but fuck it, it's really fucked me up.

anyone got any more like these? feel like shit lately

pick up an ak put rounds down towns

agreed, apart from joining the military. That will either fuck you up even worse, or get you killed. Speaking from experience

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The only person I care about is my mother but if she won't be there I won't be there. I having nothing to go for in my life although want to go to school for further in education in september. Working a horrible job on minimum wage, not even 1k what I get in a month, never had a gf, girls are not I interested in me. What should they? I'm 176 and 110kg.

>apart from joining the military. That will either fuck you up even worse, or get you killed
looks like i dun goofd then

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...

I genuinely feel bad for letting you down but I honestly don't think I can do it. I've got no resources or future. The world doesn't need one more miserable fuck. I'm just going to die anyway. I don't want to drag my misery out. I'm not even capable of getting off my ass and doing anything positive. I just want a bullet in my head but I'm too poor and stupid to even buy a gun. I'm just so tired. I can't handle it anymore. I really feel like today might be the day.

...

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Just venting

I met a nice woman a few weeks ago, she is awesome as a person, and i definitly should commit to her, but i can't get any emotions. I suppress them because i got hurt in the past. I don't let them be created.
She , on the other hand, is in love with me, but i have big trust issues, and self esteem issues- i always think that I'm just a temporary solution for her, because she does not want to be alone.

I've also had a bad experience with sex, and I'm still kinda scarred because of it. She wants sex tho, and refuses to jerk me off or blow me before we actually have sex- but it's too difficult for me, because it has to be perfect. Else I would not be able to handle it mentally.
Also, she still has ties with her ex, and went to visit him yesterday, which also makes me a little bit sad, because what if she goes back to him, and leaves me for him? That would hurt like a motherfucker. I dunno what to do.

You're 176? You're fucking old man maybe you should be dead by now.

Forgot to add "cm". Or 5"11 or 5"10.

Platinum isn't the fucking middle ground, you twit. Gold 5 is already 85th percentile

last one from me

I have zero friends and zero charisma, get stares and laughs out in public, im in decent shape and not bad looking. I work from home. Shit sucks but lately i think, "What would future me do if he came back in time to this current younger body?" So it may suck now but im just working on my charisma and communication skills by clogging and chatting on Skype. I figure in a years time of improving my facial expressions (currently like a male Kristen Stewart) and speaking skills I could meet some new people and make a friend or two.

You people make always make sad.
Everytime I realize how lonely I am and how that affects my productivity. I'm so mediocre at everything, worst part is many people keep telling me I have talent and skill yet I can't find it in me to keep trying...I have no one person to impress or excel with and it's hard.
You people always make sad

*vlogging

Hey man. If you're actually considering suicide, edgy and nihilist humour aside, don't do it. Think of the happy memories in your life. And don't tell me you don't have any, everyone has happy memories. Think of that shit man, and overcome this. I don't fucking know I'm not a therapist clearly. But suicide, nah. Nah. Sorry for the useless advice, but some day you'll be happy again. It may take years, but one day you'll catch yourself grinning from fucking ear to ear and realise you, you fucking did it. Don't quit out man. Also, buy yourself a Calippo shot ice cream thing. Anyone remember them? They were the fucking best.

Don't make today the day, I'm depressed too but I'm hanging in there because I'm thinking of what I can do, and not what I have done or feel guilty for. You're just as human as me user, and the fact you feel bad shows that you still have some form of function. The biggest issue is present in me too, I let my head tell me otherwise. You can get off your ass to go and buy a gun, reinvest the energy into seeking help. Could you imagine yourself one day with kids, and a woman you love so much? Whatever floats your boat, make it a goal to work towards. Please don't fall any lower, life is just one big rabbit hole, and we're all burrowing deeper. You may be tired, but there people who can help, and the misery you're dragging out will eventually become happiness. Do a good deed, find your passion, just don't seek this way out, because you're not going to win, you're going to cause a lot of pain for the people who do give a shit. And don't you fucking dare tell me they don't, because your actions will make them ask where they went so wrong, just hold on.

aw man...

Get an anti-depression prescribtion. These motherfuckers work wonders.
You will get fat, and wont be able to get it up anymore, but hey, you will at least be happy

Damn. This makes me sad. Wish I had a caring father.

anyone got any aboout loneliness?

this is my favorite because as I read this the first time I could instantly relate...

op you better not kill yourself I swear to god. I will come round there and fuck your damn belly button you hear me

I just don't care anymore. My life is a fucking nightmare. I can't fucking do it anymore. I just want to cry so the time and kill myself. Nothing can change my shit life. I just want to escape forever

Go and take heroin. If that shit does not make you feel happy, you are really out of luck

Makes me wanna try them. Although I'm far already. 110kg isn't very healthy for 5"10.

It's not always like that.
Sometimes they just want to make up for not being there and you become indifferent.....


Fuck,y dad called as I typed that....shit , he fucking treats me like a child despite being 19. I just don't want to talk to him but I feel compelled as the oldest and since my brother yelled at him...how do I stop lying to him?
I don't care, I don't miss him, I don't "love" him as he forcefully asks but he has nothing. He is at Rock bottom in Mexico....
What do I do? He used to Fuck with me psychologically forcing me to choose him or my mom as a child and it still affects me when I talk to him.

I'm fine socially and mentally, except for depression, but not when I talk to him..

why don't you get good at something real homeboy?
games are for kids