123 GO!!!

123 GO!!!

having night vision but only when exposed to sunlight

The power to be invisible only when no one is looking

pooping dildoes

you make a living off pooping

...

getting dubs

Being a moderator on Sup Forums.

Severe Depression

Shitting out Mac and Cheese. But with the upside that there is no chance of it tasting or being actual shit.

You have ex-ray porno vision but only for people who are unattractive.

you can understand birds, but they can't understand you and they hate you

Goldfish mind-reading

Teleporting 1mm every half an hour

The power to kill yourself slowly and painfully, also known as living life.

white privilege.

being OP

The power to lose money every time you get it, and
it goes to support donald trumpf

being able to timetravel 3 seconds into the future but getting extremely exhausted from doing it.

can become invisible but only
while playing a trombone.

The power to remove shoelace aglets.

White male privilege

Power to get any girl, but as soon as either of you touch. You cum

Damn

Muh kekz

Being able to transform milk into water

roll LW

The power to kill anyone with one punch, but only if your hands are tied behind your back.

posting on Sup Forums
>seems useless so far

X only when Y is so fucking lazy

The ability to swim through jello without incident.

The power to become permanently black at will.

One time ability, used to start life over if necessary. Not useless

Security cameras.
Sell them.
If you're trapped with no food, just shit, and keep eating your shit until you are rescued.
Do magic tricks, maybe get a little money.
This could be useful in the unlikely scenario that you are tied down and about to be tortured. Just punch yourself in the back, killing yourself and saving you the pain.

making decent memes

The ability to hibernate

>Humans don't need to hibernate to survive
>The ability to do so regardless is effectively useless and even damaging

Well done user

Ability to read someones mind but only if they tell you what they were thinking about.

But then you'd become a God.

Able to stop time, but you are completely frozen and unable to think while it is stopped.

Art

Honestly any tautology based power tends to be pretty useless.

power to ejaculate without touching your dick, but also without orgasm

How is summer guys?

you can make a dick cum in under 3 seconds with your butthole but only black dicks

like pissing

Are you kidding? This is God tier porn actor power right there.

The ability to get good grades in the humanities.

Read your own mind

ability to breath in space would be pretty useless if u cant get there

Have the ability to understand what is wrong with the world and how to fix it.

Every time you sleep you dream the future but you instantly forget when you wake up.

Ambidextrous masturbation

...

Electromagnetic Radiation Vision

/thread
No one will ever listen to you. Pure hell, can make a perfect world but everyone ignores you.

completely resistant to all seduction and attraction methods

Immune to poisonous gases without being Jewish

Ability to get an 8 inches dick erection, but just with your clothes on.

The ability to know the proof of any drink once you taste it.

Ability to speak any language but only above 20kHz

>>the ability to one time flip all your skin inside out
>>you sink in sand
>>you can create cancer on Sup Forums
>>you become a wild nigger

To glow in lit areas.
the power to always get dubs.
to be reborn infinitely but forget everything you did previously

I'll take the third one.

better then heaven/hell/reincarnated as a beetle/perma dirt hole

being able to become mexican whenever you please

the ability of jump very high, but can't resist the fall. and only works indoors

the ability to live off benefits

niggers do it fine

Aquaman

The ability to distinguish semen owners by taste.

The ability to hang upside down for hours.

Fucking underrated post!

the ability to phase through matter when falling

the ability to piss shit

You're a trillion dollar crime scene investigator now

good thing you like the taste of cum right?

ability to find the g spot every time

people are into piss and shit.

You'd make money doing porn.

then you get the ability to turn money in skin

kek

best one yet

but you turn in a tetraplegic man that can't talk

The ability to sweat sunscreen

Thank you kind sir

still fucking useless

The ability to type 4k wpm on Sup Forums

I have the TOE, quantum gravity explained. But I dont have the mats to make the world listen, Breaks my heart. I know!

To have an aneurysm just by thinking about it.

to spot if OP is a faggot

Everyone has that

After being shot 7 times every 8th bullet bounces off.

Go anywhere back in time, but do EXACTLY the same things with no memory of arriving.

Go back to present and then remember everything that happened.

Repeat going back in time trying to leave a clue to right history.

Succeed timeline changed karma.jpg
but then the universe balances and your future self dies

leaving you in the past forever with no memory until you get older and learn to go back in time to change things...

mindfuck.jpg groundhogday.jpg

ayyyyy

underrated post

50 cent pretty much

OP is always a faggot, gtfo

>doing it for free

Invisibility. Because you would go blind.

Infinity vision: the power to see through everything, literally. You see all the way through everything into the void beyond the universe, but you don't see anything in-between That void and you.

Some blind people may already have this.

The ability to swap your boner for a bone and your bones for boners.

I see what you did there.. Or did I?

The ability to draw photo realistic penises every time you start drawing

Read the Magic of Recluce. Guy turns invisible and has that precise thing happen to him.